[[caption-width-right:180:[[CoversAlwaysLie Pictured: a soon-to-be-irrelevant castle setting]]]]

''The Legend of Rah and the Muggles'' is a children's book written and published by Nancy Stouffer (now referring to herself as "N.K. Stouffer") in 1984. (That title is a modification; the book title didn't actually feature the word "muggles" when it was released; Stouffer added it later to increase her chances of winning her lawsuit.) The book languished in obscurity until 1999, when Stouffer sued Creator/JKRowling (author of the wildly popular ''Literature/HarryPotter'' book series) for intellectual property damages, claiming that Rowling had stolen elements from ''Rah'' and used them in the ''Potter'' books without permission, primarily the use of the word "muggles". The subsequent lawsuit was eventually laughed out of court, as Stouffer was unable to verify her claim that she originally trademarked the term.

The tale opens with a nuclear war caused by government corruption, in a way that's guaranteed to send any 6-year-old to a [[NightmareFuel somewhat restless]] sleep, followed by an AuthorFilibuster about the abuse of eminent domain laws. If this jars with the colourful FairyTale kingdom depicted on the front cover (which in fairness isn't too bad) then it should. It's like watching an episode of ''WesternAnimation/HandyManny'' with [[StuffBlowingUp explosions]] and [[KillEmAll genocide]]. The title character somehow brings sunlight back to the land of the Muggles, who [[HollywoodEvolution evolved implausibly quickly]] from the survivors of the apocalypse. No attempt is made to HandWave the conditions AfterTheEnd that led humanity down that particular evolutionary path, let alone with such speed. The subsequent chapters present a disjointed and incoherent account of the lives of Rah, his brother Zyn and the Muggles, as several years will often be skipped in-between chapters.

Simply put, ''Rah and the Muggles'' is to children's literature what ''Literature/TheEyeOfArgon'' is to swords and sorcery, minus the [[SoBadItsGood unintentional hilarity]]. For a chapter-by-chapter breakdown of the story, [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html this link]] should tell you just about all you need to know. If you want to know more, see Tropers/ZeldaQueen's [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/29637.html more detailed dissection.]] [[SchmuckBait Or you could buy the book]].
!!This book provides examples of:

* AerithAndBob: The Nevils' names are Teeter, Jitters, Fraidy, Boggs, Stubby, Patch and...Peter ([[SubvertedTrope altough he prefers to be called "chops"]]).
* AfterTheEnd: The story proper starts not long after a total war.
* AlternativeCalendar: And clearly not that helpful, since "The Year of the Purple Haze" does little to distinguish a year from any of the 500 other years in which the world was blanketed with a [[TechnicolorScience purple]] cloud of fallout.
** IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming: Every year seems to be named after a particular parable from ''The Ancient Book of Tales''. For example, "The Year of the Gilded Cage" refers to an incident in which pirates stole a number of animals taken to be sold and released them on Aura, keeping only the gold cages.
* AndThatsTerrible: Stouffer will repeatedly shove to the reader's face the fact that Zyn is evil, either via the Muggles (including ''his own adoptive mother'') or via herself as the narrator.
* AntiVillain: Zyn, but not in the way the author intended.
* ApatheticCitizens: Nobody does anything to stop Zyn or the Nevils.
* ArtisticLicenseBiology:
** This book features a type of moss called "Bordonian Moss", which has purple flowers. Moss is not a flowering plant.
** Yur declares that the light of the fireflies will keep Zyn on the island of Dezra forever. The lifespan of a firefly is two months, so in practice the Muggles have accomplished nothing by storming the island.
* ArtisticLicenseMedicine:
** The Muggles scramble to get water and Aloe Salve for the "thirsty birds" and "blind deer" that Yur misheard from Golda. The fact that they get Salve for ''curing blindness'' speaks for itself.
** When the Nevils are creating tar to waterproof Zyn's boat, they end up getting ''second and third-degree burns'' from the heat. Yet all they have to do to heal the burns is jump in the ocean and they're all better, whereas in real life the saltwater would make their burns ''worse''.
** How allergies are treated in this book. One can't simply pass out after having an allergy: in most cases, there would be cutaneous eructions, rashes and severe irritations. The worst that could happen are asthma or respiratory problems that could lead to lacks of oxygen and therefore fainting. This means that, even if Zyn didn't intend to kill Rah, provoking an allergy on him so that he has no air and faints, would mean giving him a slow and painful death.
** The Nevils and Zyn gorge themselves with the food stolen by the Muggles after seven years of eating nothing but seaweed and meager grass. Sudden and copious eating in such condition would have been devastating on their already frail health.
* BeautyEqualsGoodness: Zyn, the supposed bad guy, becomes more and more ugly and thin as he descends in depression, especially after residing in the Manchineet Tree. The Nevils get the same tretament, growing long claws and hair.
* BigShadowLittleCreature: The "Shadow Monsters" on Dezra are nothing but Zyn and the Nevils' heavily distorted shadows. [[WhatAnIdiot And somehow they're afraid of them.]]
* BrightCastle: Depicted on the cover, and apparently where Lady Catherine lives, [[CoversAlwaysLie which is featured in the first chapter and never appears again]].
* CainAndAbel: Rah and [[CardCarryingVillain Zyn]].
* CardCarryingVillain: Zyn, who following his FaceHeelTurn started talking like a scally.
* ChekhovsGun: Rah's allergy to a type of moss counts as this.
%%* ChristmasCake: Noona.
* ComfortingTheWidow: In the first chapter the twins' mother, Lady Catherine, learns that her "beloved husband" is dead. She mourns extensively. A few days/paragraphs later, she openly flirts with the butler.
* ConvenientEscapeBoat: Zyn and the Nevils use clamshells to escape the island in Chapter 13.
* CrapsaccharineWorld: The world prior and after the war. The former was a peaceful civilisation kept through humanitarian charters, while the latter is a cutesy Teletubbies-like land. In between, humanity's greed and corruption festered on the inside of the former and lead to a nuclear holocaust, the ensuing radiation and mutations leading to the current adorable life forms.*
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: The writing style is a style of writing with many unnecessary repetitions that she repeats unnecessarily many times. Stouffer would be hopeless on ''Radio/JustAMinute''. Also see the quote under FunetikAksent below.
** This line from the book's introduction is just one example out of the lot:
-->''"Their cries for help went unrecognized as they rang out with piercing screams for help."''
* DescriptionPorn: Stouffer puts very elaborate descriptions of details that aren't vital to the story. To wit, the elements that ''are'' relevant are mostly glossed over or barely mentioned.
* DesertedIsland: Dezra, which is far from the shores of Aura and only Yur knows of its existance. Zyn swims there after his boat breaks, and discovers it's just a bare rock with a small cave.
* DeusExMachina: The aforementioned clamshell boats.
* DevelopingDoomedCharacters: The book's introduction drones on for 2,000 words of questionable relevance to the rest of the story and so, for that matter, do the first two chapters and every character in it, beside the babies of course. In fact, the story's major conflict (the CainAndAbel plot) isn't even hinted at until about halfway through.
* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch: The word "Bugger" is uttered often in the book. Apparently Stouffer was not aware that it's a moderately offensive word in both British and Australian English.
* DisproportionateReward: Rah wins at a croquet game, and the Muggles treat him like a god just for doing it, even rewarding him with an old and valuable medal.
** They hail him even for [[MundaneMadeAwesome building a stone mill.]]
* DoNotCallMePaul: One of the Nevils is named Peter, but he insists on being called by his nickname "Chops".
* ElementalBaggage: Rah apparently has so much fluid in his tear ducts that his crying can sink boats.
* EncyclopediaExposita: Rah's "Ancient Book of Tales", which includes a story about {{Killer Rabbit}}s that [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail might seem familiar]]...
* EvilRedhead: Zyn. Altough not exactly "evil" per se, the author likes pushing on this stereotype.
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: Take a wild guess as to which beverage "Lemonade Lake" (for reasons unexplored) tastes like.
%%* {{Expospeak}}
* FaceHeelTurn: Zyn and the Nevils.
* FreudianExcuse: Zyn's StartOfDarkness comes from his [[CainAndAbel resentment]] of his brother, and is handled with [[{{Anvilicious}} all the subtlety you'd expect]].
* FriendToAllLivingThings: Rah.
* FunetikAksent: A sea cow who stutters, like so:
-->''"Well, wha-- wha-- what do you know a-- a-- about dat!" It's the ba-- bah-- bahbies Naddie and Neddie were tal-- talking ah-- ahbout," he stuttered to himself. "We got-- got-- gotta get ya ou-- ou-- out-- a here! There's a st-- stor-- storm ca-- ca-- comin'," he stuttered nervously...'' (from [[http://www.insomniaville.com/journal/011402.html here]]). Yes, he even stutters in internal monologue.
** There's also a barracuda with a [[UsefulNotes/AmericanAccents Brooklyn accent]].
* FunWithAcronyms: The Congress Of United Peoples, or C.O.U.P., in the introduction, which seems to be a TakeThat against the United Nations.
* GoodAnimalsEvilAnimals: The "Greeblies", rabbit-faced rats, and "Nardles", sand dogs as large as lions that the muggles keep.
* GrannyClassic: Golda, the oldest female Muggle and is stated that she's the only Muggle to ever become a grandmother, even though she describes ''her grandmother'' in her poem, complete with a white bun of hair (although Muggles are supposed to be bald) and old-fashioned clothes.
* GratuitousFrench: After knocking out Rah with the moss, Zyn utters "Voilà, as Chef Franc would say!".
* GrumpyOldMan: Yur. He's the oldest male Muggle, and he's deaf and arthritic.
* HitSoHardTheCalendarFeltIt: The Calendar is reset by a nuclear war. The problem is that it starts with a "Year of the purple haze" (nuclear fallout), which could refer to any year following the end of the nuclear war.
* HollywoodEvolution: Normal humans (actually the most unfortunate ones) evolved into looking like baby-like lifeforms in the span of just 500 years.
* InexplicableTreasureChests: Complete with an inexplicable treasure: in fact, we don't even get to know what's ''in'' the chest that's so important.
* InfantImmortality: Taken to the logical extreme. Place two infants (toddlers?) on a raft and shove them out to sea, let them stay on the raft for ''one full week'' before having the happy sea creatures come to their aid, and then consider how they avoid being horribly sunburnt, half-drowned or maybe ''all'' drowned, salt-burnt, and/or dehydrated and probably dead from that alone. They're ''certainly'' not going to be shiny, happy babies by that point, and that's even leaving in such an important detail as NobodyPoops.
** The lack of sunburn could possibly be {{Handwave}}d with the fact that Lady Catherine apparently covered them with a blanket before sending them off. It's still really a weak explaination, because that doesn't excuse their heads, and there is no more mention of the blanket, nor does it appear in the pictures.
* InformedAttribute: The Character Glossary describes things that the characters are never shown doing or being in the story, and sometimes the entries contradict what's already established in the previous chapters.
* {{Jerkass}}: Zyn is meant to be seen as this.
* MagicAIsMagicA: Averted (notable, given the genre); magic exists, but completely at random with no apparent rules behind it.
* MeaningfulName: This book has a very bad example of this trope: the Muggles are supposed to be named in a ceremony because of a particular sign or a behavior that shows in its infancy. However, some of the names don't have clear origins (Rah and Zyn, Yur and Golda, Peter...), some inexplicably match for lovers or spouses (Pitter and Patter, Pick and Pluck), and some lead to UnfortunateImplications, such as Boggs, who is implied to [[ThePigPen smell bad and be covered in mud]] ''since birth''.
* MoodWhiplash: From ParanoiaFuel to TastesLikeDiabetes back to NightmareFuel in record time.
* {{Muggles}}: Surprisingly averted: The Teletubby-like protagonists might be called "Muggles", but they throw random magic around like nobody's business. Granted, this would make sense, as the book ''does'' predate the term in the Harry Potter sense we all know and love... if the author hadn't sued J.K. Rowling over use of the term.
* NeverSayDie: Despite gleefully recounting the annihilation of all life that doesn't fall into the TastesLikeDiabetes category earlier on, the book describes the BigBad's plan as making Rah "sleep forever".
* NobodyPoops: It would certainly explain how Rah and Zyn arrived on the island squeaky-clean despite being adrift for days without any attention.
* OcularGushers: If you want to {{Narm}}ify a touching goodbye scene, you can't do better than have someone cry so much that ''they cause a flash flood''. Evidently the [[ElementalBaggage vast volume of water involved]] was stored in one of the massive {{plot hole}}s.
* OrphanedEtymology: After the "Thirty Year War" and the subsequent nuclear apocalypse, all knowledge of the world is lost. Then how do the characters remember well about Shakespeare, Pachelbel Canon D, the Indians, French Language, Lemonade, and Chinese Lanterns?
* ThePigpen: Boggs, who is dirty and mostly speaks in grunts.
* PlotHole: So many that the "plot" resembles a block of Swiss cheese. [[PlotHole/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles Most of them are listed in this page]].
* PregnantBadass: Lady Catherine, [[InformedAbility supposedly]].
* PreppyName: Lady Catherine's butler is named Walter Randolph Winfred Cherrington.
%%* RedOniBlueOni: Zyn and Rah.
%%* TheResenter: Zyn
* RougeAnglesOfSatin: The author has the unfortunate combination of a tenuous grasp of English and a singularly unqualified editor.
* SequelHook: At the end, it is written that everything we've read so far was written in the "Ancient Book of Tales". The book's info also explains that this is only the first of a series of books, but so far there is no proof that later installments of the series exist.
* ShowDontTell: One of the book's main problems. Qualities of characters are stated, but never actually shown.
** In a particular example, it is stated that Zyn has become jealous and is losing all of his self-esteem, and that he and Rah were very close until now. Stouffer doesn't actually describe how and why it happens, and what part of his personality is losing. This also cements Zyn's status as DesignatedVillain.
%%* SignificantGreenEyedRedhead: Zyn
* SomeoneToRememberHimBy: Lady Catherine's husband dies while she's still pregnant with Rah and Zyn.
* SpeechImpediment: Benjamin the sea cow has a stutter, even in his internal monologue.
* SpotlightStealingSquad: The majority of the pictures in the book mostly depict the Muggles. The only other characters we see are Rah and Zyn as babies, and Lady Catherine at the beginning.
* StupidEvil: It takes the Nevils several days of living in a radioactive tree to decide that it was a bad idea.
* SwissArmyTears: Rah cries so much that it sinks the Nevils' boat.
* TalkingAnimal: A few with cute alliterative names show up, without much consequence; that [[BigApplesauce some of them have New York accents]] would be a major source of FridgeLogic in any other book, but here it barely registers.
* TechnicolorScience: Nuclear fallout is purple; evidently the bombs used in the final war contained radioactive potassium permanganate. Nuclear fission produces, among other things, radioactive iodine - hence the use of iodine pills to protect against exposure by saturating the body with normal iodine so the radioactive stuff doesn't get absorbed. Iodine, at least in vapour form, is purple. However, it doesn't colour fallout purple, and its half-life is so short that you can forget about it after a week or two.
* TimeSkip: Random numbers of years will pass between chapters.
* TooDumbToLive: Zyn and the Nevils choose to take shelter in a radioactive tree, and refuse to move out even after developing serious health problems.
* UnequalPairing: Lady Catherine falls in love with her butler.
* UnexplainedAccent: Buddy the Barracuda has a Brooklyn accent for no discernable reason.
* {{Veganopia}}: Nominally. The [[http://www.realmuggles.com/characters.html character list]] claims that Muggles are vegetarians, but we also hear of them eating {{killer rabbit}}s.
* VileVillainSaccharineShow: Zyn is meant to be seen as this. If anything, he is the inversion: he's a brat in a world caused by humanity's greed and corruption, whose eugenics lead to the Muggles.
** WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds: What he really comes off as. He's not even scary, just angry-more like. In another story, would come off as a well-written redeemable bully.
* [[WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma Wanton Cruelty To The Common Apostrophe]]: Very frequently, including on Stouffer's own website.
* WeirdMoon: One that can shine through a cloud thick enough to block the sunlight.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: The war at the beginning, the treasure chest, and ''every single character'' (besides the brothers) who appears in the first two chapters.
* WhenTreesAttack: The Manchineet Tree, while still inanimate, sheds radioactive pollen that makes Zyn and the Nevils sick.
* WhereTheHellIsSpringfield: So, which nation/continent is "Aura"?
%%* WriterOnBoard
* WritersCannotDoMath: Stubby, who starts out as a five-year-old boy, is described in a later chapter as a "fifteen-year-old boy"...''twenty-two years'' after Rah and Zyn's arrival on the island.
* YourSizeMayVary: The Muggles are supposed to be around 3 feet tall, yet in one illustration they're seen living in a village of mushroom-houses, and in another one they ride ants and bees. Whether they can shrink down at will is anyone's guess.