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->"A ship!" Smith sprang up. "That's excellent! Will there be action, and danger?"
->"There'll be hippies. Will that do?"
->"Sir, I'll take the risk."
-->-- ''Isambard and Mr. Kahn'', "Space Captain Smith"

Isambard Smith is the square-jawed, courageous and somewhat dim new commander of the clapped out, battle damaged light freighter John Pym, destined to take on the alien threat because nobody else is available. Together with his bold crew- a skull collecting alien lunatic and an android pilot who is actually an escaped sex toy (and her pet hamster: Gerald)- he must collect new-age herbalist Rhianna Mitchell from the laid back New Francisco orbiter and bring her back to safety in the British Space Empire. Straightforward enough- except the Ghast want her too. If he is to get back to Blighty alive, Smith must defeat void sharks, a universe-weary android assassin and John Gilead, psychopathic naval officer from the fanatically religious Republic of New Eden before facing his greatest enemy: a ruthless alien warlord with a very large behind...

Space Captain Smith (The chronicles of Isambard Smith Vol. 1) is the debut novel of English author Toby Frost, and is a science-fiction comedy. It has been followed by four sequels- ''God Emperor of Didcot'', ''Wrath of the Lemming Men'', ''A Game of Battleships'' and ''End of Empires''.

There are also three short stories (all {{Christmas Episode}}s) ''When Slay Bells Ring'', ''The Celery an the Ivy'' and ''A Fairytale of New Dorchester'', which are available as free downloads from the [[http://spacecaptainsmith.com Space Captain Smith]] website. The first contains a significant (in some eyes) spoiler for ''God Emperor of Didcot''.

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!!Provides Examples Of:

* AlienInvasion
* AliensSpeakingEnglish: The British 'civilized' aliens, making them learn English.
* AllGirlsLikePonies: Carveth has an almost child-like obsession with ponies. This may be excused by the fact that she's only [[ArtificialHuman two years old]].
* AncientConspiracy: The Vorl
* AncientTradition: Suruk's slaying and head collecting.
* AnArmAndALeg: When the evil Gilead is shot by Smith, the doctors could only save his head and his bladder.
* ArtificialHuman Pollyanna R Carveth, the sexbot on the run. Prefers the term "Person of Artificial Heritage".
* ArtificialLimbs: [[spoiler: Smith needs one of these after Number 8 bites off his right arm. He gets a proper new one grown for him, though]]
* TheBattlestar: Dreadnoughts
* BattleTrophy: After killing planetary crimeboss Corveau, Smith takes the guy's Civiliser (a massive revolver that shoots .45 hypervelocity rounds). This nicely supplements the heroes' somewhat meager arsenal.
* BerserkButton: The normally cowardly Carveth will lose it, if anyone calls her fat.
* BigDamnHeroes: Smith's return to New Luton with Wainscott's team and [[spoiler:the Vorl]].
* BizarreAlienBiology
* BloodyHilarious: Suruk in general, and the heads he keeps as trophies on his mantle.
* TheBridge: Subverted- the John Pym barely has room for a two-seat cockpit.
* BrokeYourArmPunchingOutCthulhu: Subverted. In ''Wrath Of The Lemming Men'', Smith punches Number 8, who eats his arm. [[spoiler: Turns out that Smith had a live grenade in that hand.]]
* TheCaptain: Smith, obviously
* CasualInterstellarTravel: Although distances are never stated, it is made clear that travel between star systems takes only hours at best, but sometimes stretched into days.
* CasualKink: After many stoned conversations with Rhianna, Carveth tells Smith that he should 'watch his arse around a woman like her'. In context, the implications are...interesting.
* CoolStarship: Subverted - the ''John Pym'' is very old and very battered, held together with duct tape and string, but she is also one of the fastest starships in the known galaxy - ''in a straight line'' - thanks to a massive non standard engine. Not so good at cornering though.
* CopycatCover: It's very similar to the British covers of the {{Literature/Flashman}} novels.
* EgomaniacHunter: Suruk the slayer.
* GranolaGirl: Rhianna Mitchell, although her home world New Francisco is a whole planet of these.
* HandCannon: Humans don't do man-portable energy weapons much. Instead they use oversized guns such as Smith's Civiliser that he took from Corveau and Dreckitt's Assasinator, which was described as having barrel big enough to rent as living space.
* HartmanHips: Number 462 of the Ghasts has a really big bottom, this is something that Smith notices.
* HigherTechSpecies: The Ghast use bio-ships with organic plasma disruptors, while humanity is still stuck with using big guns that wouldn't seem out of place today. It was the Ghast that provided the technology to separate Rhianna's Vord aspect from her human self.
* ImprovisedWeapon: Suruk knocks out some mercenaries threatening Carveth, with a ''foot-long, black plastic club that's rounded at the top and gently vibrates to give his hand a nice massage''. Carveth quickly takes back her vibrator.
* InsectoidAliens: The Ghast.
* ItWasAGift: After Smith and crew liberate Paradis from Corveau, Francois tells Smith to keep the .308 Morgan Plainsman that he lent Smith. With Corveau gone, Francois no longer needs a gun like that and feels Smith will make better use of it.
* LivingShip: The Ghast ships seem to be made of living tissue, but are not apparently sentient. They are chock-full of {{Squick}}, though; the airlocks are ''sphincters.'' '''Complete with sucking noises!'''
* MsFanService: Averted with Carveth. When Smith found out that Carveth was made as a custom-built sexbot, he was surprised given that she looks like a small, thin woman of 30 who's only pretty in a plain way. Carveth then explains the reason why she's not a busty goddess is that her owner is an extremely nasty pervert with very specific fetishes, and her design specs came from a questionaire he filled out.
* MoreDakka: Smith fends off three marauding void sharks with a somewhat futuristic Maxim machine gun. The Maxim was also used to beat back a Ghast boarding party.
* PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny: As its name suggests, the Democratic Republic of New Eden is a hellish theocratic tyranny.
** The Greater Galactic Happiness, Friendship and Co-operation Collective is run by demented sadistic lemming men intent on conquest.
* PowerUpFood: Why is the British Space Empire invincible? It's because of tea with a spot of milk in it. Near the beginning of Book 2, the analytical simulant mentions that tea raises moral fiber. And moral fiber is 30% more effective at raising fighting prowess than numerical superiority, good genes, fanaticism and etc.

* ProudWarriorRaceGuy: The Morlocks. Suruk see the missions as holidays and opportunities to add to his collection of skulls. He never seems to use guns preferring to use his many blades and ancestral spear. Subverted with Morlock speech. In English they sound like the typical ProudWarriorRaceGuy, but in Asur'ah they are, [[ValleyGirl like, way more expressive, y'know?]]
* RammingAlwaysWorks - both the Morlocks and the Lemming-men favour this, the former because of their desire to board and engage in hand-to-hand fighting; the latter because of their suicidal tendencies - and their ships are constructed appropriately.
* RetroUniverse / SchizoTech / DaysOfFuturePast : But it's all obviously PlayedForLaughs.
* RobotGirl Carveth (though technically she's [[spoiler:wholly organic, in the flesh versus steel sense of the word - Rhianna is wholly organic in a more philosophical sense]].
* {{Sexbot}}: Carveth is a custom-built sex toy. As such she's hardwired to occasionally lapse into talking innuendo and be crude.
* ShoutOut - liberally sprinkled through all three novels, calling everything from Enid Blyton to War of the Worlds, the Chipmunks to Japanese whaling practices ([[spoiler:the space whales "ate the Japanese fleet and passed it off as research")]], and even the Teddy Bears' Picnic.
* SpaceOpera
* SpaceIsAnOcean: With giant sharks in it, too.
* SpotOfTea: In The God Emperor of Didcot, the Ghasts [[spoiler: plan to destroy the tea fields, thus striking a mortal blow to the British Space Empire]].
* StiffUpperLip
* TouchedByVorlons - [[spoiler:Rhianna's]] mother.
* WideEyedIdealist: Smith. Admittedly his idealism is based around how great it is that the British Space Empire stomps on and colonises everyone, but it's idealism.
** Given the relatively benign impact of the British Space Empire compared to what you get at the hands of the Ghasts, New Eden and the Lemming Men, it's hard for him ''not'' to be idealistic about it.
* WithThisHerring: For such an important mission, Captain Smith was given an unarmed rustbucket of a ship and a couple of guns in a locker.
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