[[quoteright:266:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sailornothing.gif]]

->''"My name is Shoutan Himei. I'm sixteen years old, and I'm very tired."''

Take a basic MagicalGirl template, influenced most of all by ''Franchise/SailorMoon'' (note the title). Infuse some ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'', mix in the tone and atmosphere of ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'', and add some of the self-awareness of ''Franchise/{{Scream}}'' on top. What do you get? ''Sailor Nothing'', a WebOriginal written by {{Twoflower}} and a ''very'' scary magical girl story, not unlike ''Manga/ElfenLied''. It also predates some other takes like ''Anime/FutariWaPrettyCure'' and ''Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'' (but not ''ShamanicPrincess''), being written in 2000 and 2001.

Uncommonly, it doesn't begin with the heroine's origin story. In fact, as the story opens, Himei has already spent ''five years'' as Sailor Salvation, and acquired a lifetime's worth of horrific memories fighting as the sole grunt soldier in a futile war against [[TheHeartless the Yamiko]]. Having initially JumpedAtTheCall, she sees it as cause for celebration when her boss and MysteriousProtector, Magnificent Kamen (nicknamed "MagnificentBastard" for [[{{Jerkass}} good reasons]] despite the trope-y name), finally gets fed up with her complaints and fits of UnstoppableRage and fires her. After all, more even than most, she [[IJustWantToBeNormal just wants to be normal]]...

There's just one problem: she ''can't'' be. Kamen cut her off, but she still has her powers, and still gets the unbearable splitting headaches that signal the birth of a new Yamiko. There's no escape, [[DrivenToSuicide except one option]]... and that option is looking more attractive every day...

Written in 2000 and 2001, and available via [[http://stefangagne.com/sailornothing/ this link]].

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!!This story contains examples of:

* AbandonedWarehouse -- [[spoiler:Where Magnificent Kamen takes Dusty after kidnapping him]].
* AllOfTheOtherReindeer -- A standard HighSchool trope
* AllergicToEvil -- Himei detects the birth of a Yamiko via nearly debilitating headaches.
* AnachronicOrder -- Chapters 8 and 9, the former being "stream of consciousness" and the latter much more orderly, both venturing into MindScrew.
* AndYourLittleDogToo -- If Himei almost losing her friends and boyfriend were enough to trigger a HeroicBSOD, you just ''knew'' the guy who kidnapped her ''cat'' was going down.
* AndIMustScream -- [[spoiler:Ami. Oh god, Ami...]]
* AntiHero -- Shoutan Himei
* AntiVillain -- Dark General Cobalt.
* TheAtoner
* BattleAura
* BeautyBrainsAndBrawn -- Aki, Shin, and Himei, respectively.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor
* BigFancyHouse -- Seiki's, to some degree.
* BlackEyesOfEvil -- The Yamiko.
* BookEnds -- The opening and closing sentences are almost exactly the same, except for Himei's age.
** That and the reason why she's 'very tired'. [[spoiler:In the opening, it's the weariness of having the fate of the world on her shoulders for far too long. In the closing, she just didn't get enough sleep the night before.]]
* BreadEggsMilkSquick -- "Rose... wand... floating... superior... crystal... eternal... beautiful... flower... genocide!"
* BreakTheHaughty --[[spoiler: Ami didn't end up broken so much as snapped in half. Actually, snapped in half might have been kinder.]]
* BreakingSpeech-- [[spoiler:Aki's Yamiko]] to Aki.
* BrokenBird -- Himei without a doubt.
* CallingYourAttacks
* CardCarryingVillain -- Deconstructed, as being pure evil makes the Yamiko ''incapable'' of plotting and scheming.
** Argon plays it straight, largely because he's GenreSavvy enough to ''know'' he's a CardCarryingVillain and plan for it. Averted by Cobalt, who keeps his CCV tendencies in check in the interest of making his plans work.
* CatchPhrase -- "This should not be happening"; Himei also grimly quips that "I'm very tired" wouldn't sell any action figures. However, she gains a new one later: [[spoiler:"I want to live."]]
* TheChessmaster: Cobalt, [[spoiler:the priestess]], Argon. Radon tries, but is really too handicapped by his monstrousness to pull it off successfully.
* ChildSoldiers -- The sailors.
* ClarkKenting -- In chapter 4, Shin explicitly draws the comparison with Superman, noting, "The magic even extends to MPEG."
* CollapsingLair -- [[spoiler:The entire Yami-Gaia]]
* CrapsackWorld -- Sure, it's a Toyko not too different from our own... except for the presence of Yamiko, which spiritually ravage their victims, turn into their dark sides incarnate, frequently kill their original selves, and go on to wreak merry hell on the world before returning to the Yami-Gaia. That alone must mean that the rate of random, unexplained disappearances and unsolved violent crimes is much higher than our own world.
* {{Cuckold}} -- [[spoiler:Seiki]] is forced to watch while his Yamiko rapes [[spoiler:Himei]].
* CurbStompBattle -- Very, ''very'' few Yamiko can stand against even a normal-power Sailor. None can withstand their UnstoppableRage [[spoiler:except the Dark Queen.]]
** Yes and no. The special finisher attacks of the Sailors instantly disintegrate any Yamiko who isn't very old or very powerful, so when the heroes plan a proper ambush or fight as a group against unskilled monsters it's over in a moment. However, this relies on the Sailor striking a pose and making specific hand motions (made difficult or impossible by injury) and going through the whole name of their attack, and the yamiko failing to get out of the way. And newborn Yamiko may not have any strength beyond that of a normal adult human with no inhibitions, but the Sailors have all the strength of ordinary little girls. Most combats are slow, unpleasant, inflict lasting harm on the heroines, and several would have been lethal without the timely arrival of assistance.
* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: Argon, who not only knows that he's both TheDragon and a CardCarryingVillain, but is able to avert SmugSnake status because of it: he knows he's an arrogant, condescending bastard and plans for it. He's also aware he's in a deconstruction of the Magical Girl genre, knows the roles the others are playing and works with it.
* DarkChick -- Cobalt, who combines this with many of the traits of the EvilGenius. In a group of {{Mad Artist}}s, sexual predators, and {{Card Carrying Villain}}s, he's into PragmaticVillainy and just wants to get things done.
* DarkerAndEdgier
* ADarkerMe -- The Yamiko are the physical manifestation of this. They're just like regular people, but with absolutely no inhibitions or moral concerns. This is the clinical definition of psychopathological behavior. Robert D. Hare, Ph.D., the foremost psychologist currently (or maybe ever) teaching on the subject, has [[http://www.hare.org/ written or collaborated on]] a formidable number of texts.
* DarkMagicalGirl
* DeathSeeker -- [[spoiler:Argon, and arguably the Dark Queen.]]
** Himei, in some ways. Given that she has no way to attack the enemy at their source for the majority of her time as a sailor, she sees death as the only way out.
* {{Deconstruction}} -- ...of heroes and villains both, and MagicalGirl stories in general.
** In ReaLife, a lone magical girl fighting monsters in an urban enviroment will quickly suffer combat fatigue and PTSD. If she can only fight the MonsterOfTheWeek instead of the monster maker, she will see the war as endless and despair.
** A race that is AlwaysChaoticEvil wouldn't be able to cooperate [[spoiler: and wouldn't be ''always'' chaotic evil either.]]
* DefectorFromDecadence -- [[spoiler:Dark General Cobalt]]
* DespairEventHorizon -- Himei being on the edge of this pretty much sets the tone of the entire story.
* {{Determinator}} -- Kongou Shin, always.
* DeterminedDefeatist -- Himei.
* DistantFinale
* TheDragon -- Argon to The Dark Queen & Ohta to Cobalt.
** DragonInChief -- [[spoiler:Given that the Queen's pretty much insane, the weaker but functional Argon very much serves as this]].
* DrivenToSuicide
* [[spoiler: EarnYourHappyEnding]]
* EmotionlessGirl -- Sailor Nothing
* EnemyWithout -- Happens multiple times, each with significant plot effects.
** Aki: [[spoiler:ruins her reputation and tries to kill her. Alerts her to both the existence of the war (including Himei's involvement in it) and her own repressed feelings about her life.]]
** Kotashi: [[spoiler:tries to rape Shin, forever changing their relationship, and brings her a few steps closer to the Truth.]]
** [[spoiler:Himei: One of the most powerful Yamiko in existence, and possibly ''the'' most powerful newborn Yamiko in history. Actually tries to ''mercy-kill'' her and her friends (along with Dark General Cobalt), who barely make it out alive.]]
** Seiki: [[spoiler:''successfully'' rapes Himei, which finally cracks her much-worn psyche and leads her to lock herself in the bathroom and slash open as many arteries as she can, in graphic detail. Despite this, he's the ''nicest'' Yamiko, which should tell you something about the rest of them...]]
** Shin: [[spoiler: initially subverts this, helping Shin to kill Dark General Xenon, but runs off to go kill her uncle ([[RapeAsBackstory who raped her and got away with it]]) immediately afterwards.]]
* EnigmaticMinion:
** Argon; while his loyalty to the Queen is unquestioned, his motives, backstory, and ultimate goals remain obscured to the very end.
* EvilOverlord: The Dark Queen
* EvilTowerOfOminousness
* EvilTwin: All Yamiko
* FateWorseThanDeath -- Take your pick. [[spoiler:Ami]] is a good candidate.
* FauxAffablyEvil: Argon, who lampshades it constantly.
* FiveManBand:
** TheLeader: Himei
** TheLancer: Aki
** TheSmartGuy: Shin
** TheBigGuy: Sekai
* FiveBadBand: A variation:
** TheBigBad: The Dark Queen
** TheDragon / TheEvilGenius: Argon
** DarkChick / TheEvilGenius: Cobalt
** TheBrute: Both Neon & Xenon
** TheSixthRanger / TheStarscream: Radon
* FlashbackNightmare
* ForTheEvulz -- The motivation of pretty much all the Yamiko except for Cobalt [[spoiler: and Radon]]. Justified in that they're largely incapable of even ''having'' a more complex motivation.
* FourIsDeath
* {{Gayngst}}: Turns out [[spoiler:Aki has this without her knowing; while she has feelings for Himei, she spends most of the story not realizing that they're ''romantic'' ones and isn't really sure what to make of them]].
* GenreSavvy: Several of the protagonists, and Cobalt. Argon is DangerouslyGenreSavvy, much to everyone's regret.
* GiantMook -- The insane, nigh-unstoppable, Sailor-killing Super Yamiko.
** Ironically though, [[spoiler:they end up killing more Yamiko than Sailors, given that [[DefectorFromDecadence Cobalt is the one behind the leash.]]]]
* GirlPosse -- The fashion club.
* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: The Dark Queen, who's insane to the point of being practically schizophrenic.
* GoneHorriblyWrong -- [[spoiler: The priestess that created the first Yamiko was attempting to purify herself. It didn't go quite the way she was expecting...]]
* GratuitousJapanese -- Intentionally [[InvokedTrope invoked]] for much of the Japanese names and terms. We hope.
* TheHeartless
* HeroicBSOD
* HeroicFatigue
* HeroicSacrifice -- [[spoiler:Ohta.]]
* HeroicWillpower
* HeWhoFightsMonsters -- The whole reason the story isn't over in the first chapter.
* HurtingHero -- Himei
* IDidWhatIHadToDo
* IJustWantToBeNormal -- Very.
* {{Impossible Task}}/{{Snipe Hunt}} - No, Cobalt, [[spoiler: it's not possible to restore the Yami-Gaia to prosperity because the Yamiko are too Chaotic Evil to focus on some bigger picture.]]
* InfiniteCanvas -- Used in a few places, especially chapter 7.
* InTheNameOfTheMoon
* IncompatibleOrientation: [[spoiler:Aki is a lesbian and in love with Himei, who is straight and in love with Seiki]].
* IntrepidReporter: Shin. She idolises Hunter S. Thompson and is obsessed with bringing out the Truth, [[spoiler:even becoming a Sailor to learn more]]. [[MeaningfulName Her name even means "truth" in Japanese]].
* IronicEcho: "I'm very tired."
* ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies
* IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: In pretty much every single permutation available.
* IWishedYouWereDead -- [[spoiler:Shin to Ami]]
* JerkAss:
** Ami
** Magnificent Kamen ''starts'' as this, and gets worse as the story goes on[[spoiler:, and then... EldritchAbomination??]] [[invoked]]
** Shoutan Himei herself is a JerkassWoobie not unlike [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Ikari Shinji]]. [[invoked]]
* JumpedAtTheCall -- ...and regretted it. Later others "Call" themselves.
* KickTheDog -- Magnificent Kamen kicks it harder and harder as the story goes on.
* KickTheSonOfABitch -- [[spoiler:Ami. Even [[IWishedYouWereDead wishing her dead]] turns into this.]]
* KarmaHoudini:
** Played straight with [[spoiler:Cobalt]] who never really receives any comeuppance for the death and destruction he causes. Possibly justified as [[spoiler: he turned traitor, and the war may not have ended without him doing so.]]
** [[spoiler:Inverted to truly gruesome effect with Ami. Her [[AndIMustScream punishment is worse than anything she deserved.]]]]
* KnifeNut: A whole lot of Yamiko, including Dark General Argon.
* KnightInSourArmor: The title says it all.
* KnightTemplar: Magnificent Kamen, pre-FaceHeelTurn.
* {{Kuudere}} -- Himei
* LaserGuidedTykebomb -- [[spoiler:Revealed to be the purpose of the Sailors.]]
* LateForSchool
* LetsGetDangerous: When Himei says, "This shouldn't be happening," UnstoppableRage isn't far behind.
* LonelyRichKid -- Seiki
* LonersAreFreaks -- Cobalt concludes TheQuietOne will spawn the darkest, most powerful Yamiko ever.
** This is actually a subversion, as it is stated in the first chapter that the purer the individual, the more evil the Yamiko.
* LoveMakesYouEvil
* LyricalDissonance -- One character runs right into it when he is told what the meaning of an American song he's enjoyed listening to [[spoiler:while trying to cope with his parents' death]]. To little surprise, it's a song by TheyMightBeGiants.
** To be more specific, it's "Everything Right Is Wrong Again", which is quite possibly the worst thing to have been listening to in that situation...
* MadArtist -- Argon
* MagicalGirl -- Hitemi is one.
* MagicalGirlWarrior
* [[spoiler: TheMagicGoesAway: The ending.]]
* ManipulativeBastard: Argon and Radon
* MeaningfulName -- A number of characters (and other things) have these.
** ''Shoutan'' means "crying in pain". ''Himei'' is "scream" or "shriek".
** ''Himemiya'' means "princess". Doubles as an {{homage}} to RevolutionaryGirlUtena.
** ''Komachi'' can mean "belle" or "town beauty". ''Aki'' in turn can mean "emptiness".
** ''Kongou'' can mean the vajra, which involves symbolism for the Five Buddhist Wisdoms; one dictionary lists the word as "Buddhist symbol of the indestructible truth". ''Shin'' can (more plainly) mean truth, as well.
** ''Seiki'' can mean "spirit of justice".
** If you take some notice, the ''Nothing'' of the title ''Sailor Nothing'' translates as ''Mu'' in Japanese, making it ''Sailor Mu'' with a similar sounding to ''Sailor '''Moon'''''.
* MindRape -- Thankfully, the victim tends to block the memory out. Probably closer to "Spirit Rape" anyway.
* MindScrew -- Justified: the chapter where this happens is narrated from Himei after [[spoiler:attempting suicide]], and her mind is currently not sure of how [[AnachronicOrder "cause and effect" is supposed to occur]].
* MinionShipping -- As observed elsewhere, Cobalt and Ohta have a definite [[TheSimpsons Burns/Smithers]] vibe.
* MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch -- Cobalt and Ohta are both able to channel their Yamiko tendencies into constructive means rather than constant cruelties, and Cobalt is shown constantly annoyed by the inability of everyone else to follow their lead. [[spoiler:As it turns out, they had unwittingly been helped in that regard.]]
* MysteriousProtector -- Magnificent Kamen in the backstory, though also a total jerk.
* NiceJobFixingItVillain -- Aki's reputation being destroyed by [[spoiler:her own Yamiko]] turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to her.
** Magnificent Kamen sure shot himself in the foot by [[spoiler:trying to let Himei kill herself]], even if you don't count creating her in the first place due to being too indirect.
* NobleDemon -- Argon deconstructs the trope. [[spoiler:As it turns out, having something resembling morality is not good for the self-image of a race of psychopaths. Even his [[KickTheSonOfABitch treatment of Ami]] is deliberately meant to inflame the Saliors' will to destroy the Yami-gaia]]
** Played straight with Cobalt.
* NonActionGuy -- Kotashi
* NowOrNeverKiss -- [[spoiler:Himei and Seiki -- ''three'' times]]
* PaintingTheMedium -- The font varies slightly depending on who's narrating, and the background color of the webpage is usually black, but goes white at the beginning and end.
* ParentalAbandonment
** Minor forms. Seiki lives alone, which he can barely stand, and Himei's parents don't notice her injuries.
--> "I told mom it was a fashionable thing at school now to tape your left hand."
** Far worse was the behavior of Shin's parents in her backstory: although not the classical form of abandonment, [[spoiler:leaving your daughter with a known child molester as ''babysitter'' has got to be one of the most negligent acts of parenting '''ever'''.]] It gets worse when you realize that [[spoiler:he did it to others in the family, too.]]
* PersonalityPowers: Himei's favored attack is called "Nothingness", [[spoiler:Aki's is "Amazing Grace", Shin's is "Rude Awakening".]]
* ThePlan:[[spoiler: The priestess manipulated Cobalt and Radon in the hopes of being able to stop the Yamiko. She was very weak, and her direct interactions were limited, but without her acting, none of the events of the story would ever have happened.]]
* ThePowerOfFriendship -- Darker than usual, but used as straight as possible.
* PowerTrio
* PureIsNotGood
* PragmaticVillainy: Like all the Yamiko, Cobalt's a sociopath. However, he's also obsessed with getting things done in the most efficent manner possible, which means he has no time for rape, random murder, or any of the other typical Yamiko pursuits.
* PsychoForHire -- All Yamiko, especially Neon and Xenon.
* RapeAsBackstory -- Pretty much describes [[spoiler:Shin's backstory]], but not so much [[spoiler:Himei in a later chapter]], whose experience is explored in more detail.
* RapeAsDrama -- Several times, including [[spoiler:Shin and Himei]].
* {{Reconstruction}} -- At first it deconstructs how painful fighting real monsters would be for a child, but then it shows how good friends can make it all bearable.
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech -- [[spoiler:Aki]] gives this to [[spoiler:Ami when she is dropped from the Fashion Club]].
* ReplacementGoldfish: [[spoiler:The human Ohta is this to Cobalt, replacing his Yamiko version]].
* TheReveal -- [[spoiler:Kamen's, the Queen's, and Argon's]] true identities.
* SaveTheVillain: [[spoiler:Shin stopping her EvilTwin from killing her rapist uncle]].
* SchoolNewspaperNewshound -- Shin; explicitly, she wants to unearth the truth wherever she can.
* {{Shadowland}} -- Even once using the phrase "[[NamesTheSame shadow realm]]"
* ShellShockedSenior -- Himei...while still in high school.
* ShoutOut: A very subtle one to TheyMightBeGiants.
* ShutUpKiss -- [[spoiler:Himei's and Seiki's first]] NowOrNeverKiss
* SissyVillain: Argon effects this appearance, with his nail polish, mincing/floating walk, love of fine clothes, and appreciation of art.
* SlidingScaleOfIdealismVersusCynicism -- Thrown ''way'' out of whack.
** For all its grimness, however, it ultimately has a core of idealism. ThePowerOfFriendship plays an important role in keeping the heroine together, and [[spoiler:the key to defeating the BigBad in the end turns out to be ''forgiveness'']].
* SmugSnake: All Yamiko, except Cobalt, who's too much of a pragmatic villain, and Argon who's both high-functioning and GenreSavvy enough to ''know'' he's a SmugSnake and work around it. Radon is a particularly vile example.
* SocialServicesDoesNotExist
* SomethingCompletelyDifferent: Chapter 7 departs from the written format to an animated sprite comic with captions.
* SpiritualSuccessor: Though it probably didn't inspire PuellaMagiMadokaMagica, the feel's the same. More straightforwardly, it's one of the main inspirations for ''TabletopGame/PrincessTheHopeful'. [[ArcWords Exhaustion is its stated 'mood']].
* TheStarscream: Radon, who openly plots to displace Argon and then seize the Queen's throne.
* StepfordSmiler: Aki starts out as a Type A.
* StupidEvil: Most Yamiko. Exceptions include [[PragmaticVillainy Pragmatic Villain]] Cobalt, Radon, and DangerouslyGenreSavvy Argon.
* SuicideByCop:
** Inverted: The "cop" knowingly walks into an unwinnable fight.
** [[spoiler:Dark General Argon]] plays it straight later.
* SuperpoweredEvilSide -- The Yamiko, ''especially'' [[spoiler: Himei]]
* SurroundedByIdiots -- Cobalt. [[spoiler: This is both during and AFTER his tenure as a Dark General. After the end of the Yami-Gaia, it's mere human stupidity bringing him down. Thankfully, Ohta's available to again bail his ass out, or the poor sucker might just get DrivenToSuicide after the dog and pony show had already ended.]]
* ThemeNaming -- The fashion club and the Dark Generals.
** OddNameOut:
*** All the Dark Generals are named after the noble gases (Argon, Radon, Xenon, Neon) except Cobalt (which is a transition metal). Cobalt's the one who [[spoiler:ends up helping Himei, Aki and Shin destroy the Dark Queen.]] [[ViewersAreGeniuses You really have to be]] [[ShownTheirWork a chemistry geek to get this one, though.]]
*** The fashion club also has an OddNameOut: Aki. The others are Ami, Emi and Umi.
* TransformationTrinket: Every Sailor uses one. In Sailor Nothing's case, it's a literal trinket, originally just a cheap plastic trinket, before it was enchanted.
* ThereAreNoTherapists -- Downplayed. There are therapists, but they never do anyone any good.
* ThisLoserIsYou: Shoutan Himei herself is always angstily complaining about being forced to live up to her responsibilities, even if she doesn't want to. Because of her attitude, countless others, including those who care about her, come to harm.
* ThoseTwoBadGuys: Xenon and Neon. No one can really tell them apart, and Cobalt actually refers to them as the "[=WhateverOns=].
* TrailersAlwaysLie: What each Next Episode section said might not be what you should expect from the next chapter. You've been warned!
* TripleShifter: Himei is so tired...
* UndyingLoyalty:
** Argon, who knows the Dark Queen better than she knows herself.
** Ohta displays the same sort of loyalty to Cobalt.
* UnholyMatrimony: [[spoiler:Argon's]] loyalty to the Dark Queen is [[spoiler:based on the fact that his human self was her human self's boyfriend]].
* UnstoppableRage
* VillainyDiscretionShot: Played with. Done straight throughout most of the fic, with the vilest acts either done offscreen or quickly named with no description. Then ''hideously'' averted with [[spoiler:Ami's fate]], made even more effective by the earlier straight play.
* WakeupGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld
* WhoWantsToLiveForever -- [[spoiler:The unnamed priestess who started this whole mess]].
* WordOfGod -- Right on our [[Headscratchers/SailorNothing Headscratchers page]].
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