''Of Snail Slime'' is a 2011 humor novel by Gilbert and Patrick Hays. It follows the two brothers' romp throughout a random (or connected, it's hard to say) series of events wherein they encounter, among other things, several [[CaptainErsatz Captain Ersatzes]], teleporting hands, chocolate aliens, and [[TalkingAnimal a group of talking snails]].

[[WidgetSeries Yeah. It's kinda weird like that.]]
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!!''Of Snail Slime'' contains examples of:
* ADayInTheLimelight: Though the two brothers share main character status, Patrick gets his own chapter during [[spoiler:Earth's choclofication]], wherein he travels to Cricket Mountain to converse with the Cricket Elders.
* AdultsAreUseless: The brothers' parents receive a customary mention at one point, but never actually appear.
* TheAhnold: The trope namer shows up as one of the judges at the Inventacon.
* AmusingInjuries: Due to his status as a tumor, Gilbert is capable of shrugging of complete bodily destruction, and laughing about it.
* AuthorAvatar: The main characters, nonetheless, cast as an idiot tumor and megalomaniac genius respectively.
* BigBad: [[spoiler:Kronos.]]
* BigDamnHeroes: Quoted right before Gilbert, Patrick, and several supporting characters go to fight the Chocolate Alien Emperor in Washington DC.
* BigRedButton: Beep, a small red button, and Gilbert's creation for Inventacon. Though it's designed to damage the enemy by dropping large things on their head, it more prefers to attack the person pushing it instead. Or rather, Gilbert specifically.
* BlackComedy: To say the least.
* BrokenRecord: The Snails become this on several occasions, mainly due to being awestruck at a compliment given to them.
* BrownNote: The short film ''Everything That Ever Was'', documenting ExactlyWhatItSaysontheTin in less than a second. It's supposed to drive men mad, but when used on Patrick and Gilbert, it turns out the former is too smart and the latter too dumb to be effected. The film it was supposed to precede, ''Everything That Ever Wasn't'', turned out to be such a Brown Note that is completely destroyed itself, and everyone who ever saw it.
* CaptainErsatz: A strange example. {{Superman}}, ComicBook/{{Aquaman}} and CaptainPlanet show up at one point as part of the Justice League, but due to fear of lawsuits, they are referred to as Cuperman, Apuaman, Captain Quanet, and the Justice League of Amerika. Additionally, a quick ShoutOut to ''FamilyGuy'' in the form of Jolly William.
* CardboardPrison: Though it does a good job at holding [[spoiler:Kronos]], the Happy Valley Nuthouse is described as such.
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Brought up at one point for the purpose of making fun of their military history and habit of eating snails.
* ChildProdigy: Given his age of eleven, Patrick may very well be this. Gilbert, on the other hand...
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Gilbert on several occasions.
* CloudCuckooLander: A good spread of them, but especially Gilbert, whose primary focus during [[spoiler:Earth's choclofication]] is the status of his pickle collection.
* CrapsackWorld: Even though it's never explicitly defined, any world where inventions of death are showcased in competitions, standard operation for government agents is breaking and entering, and ancient greek deities run amok has to be an example.
* ClumsyCopyrightCensorship: See CaptainErsatz. Done without the respective character owners even complaining.
* TheDragon: The Chocolate Alien Emperor winds up being one to [[spoiler:Kronos]]
* GoodThingYouCanHeal: A rather bizarre example of this trope; Gilbert is capable of healing from any injury because he is a walking tumor. There's no good logical explanation given for this; it just is.
* MadScientistLaboratory: Two of them, one for Gilbert and one for Patrick. Gilbert's, while serviceable, is shown to pale in comparison to the majesty of Patrick's... which we never see.
* MartyStu: Wrestling Matt is explicitly described as one of these, referencing TV Tropes and the Trope Pantheon in the process. Due to the WorfEffect, however...
* OhCrap: The brothers' reaction to [[spoiler:Kronos]] showing up. Billed as the only seriously bad word in the book.
* OverlyLongGag:
-->"We fell for a very very very very very very very very very very..."
* SelfDeprecation: The narration and dialog repeatedly make clear how stupid they think the story is. A general air of not caring surrounds all of this. Also, [[spoiler:Patrick's inserted, exceptionally negative review of the book at the very end.]]
* SuperStrength: Wrestling Matt's entire gig. Not that it helps him much, though.
* TheSwarm: [[spoiler:The Sharks, a group of tiny sharks who can swim through air and eat almost anything.]] Excepting soy milk.
* TalkingAnimal:
** The snails, quite often. In high-pitched, squeaky voices, nonetheless.
** The Hays brother's cats and dogs, who appear a few times, mostly for fight sequences.
* ThereWasADoor: As the agents of the United States government so aptly put it: "Doors are for dorks."
** [[AncientConspiracy Which is why they made the two words sound similar.]]
* TheUnintelligible: Though he speaks very simply sometimes, Wrestling Matt is basically this.
* TheUnreveal: As noted above, we never quite see Patrick's laboratory. Gilbert comes close, but winds up having his eyes repeatedly gouged out before he gets a good look.
* TheVoiceless: Both the Slugs and the Atheists in the attic, who communicate through notes attached to bricks and sequentially arranged darts respectively.
* WorfEffect: Wrestling Matt, despite being described as one of the strongest beings in the universe, only succeeds in one fight against a small band of government agents. When he tries to fight the Chocolate Alien Emperor and [[spoiler:Kronos]], he falls rather quickly.
* TheYoshi: Sparky, The Giant Cricket. Only appears exclusively for Patrick to ride.
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-->"...very very very very very very very very..."