''A Customer Draws Near'' is the story series of a man named BTB, a prolific Morrowind Modder who IRL used to do computer tech support and is a fan of TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons.

Also, since he seems to be a fan of parody, this series is an attempt to make amusing the dull, thankless world of giving people help with their computers (in the style of a D&D campaign), which, if one believes his parody to be truth, is a task meant only for those who have unlimited patience and sanity.

The series can be found [[http://btb2.free.fr/acdn_00.html here.]]

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!!Tropes common to the series are:
* AmericansAreCowboys - Well, BTB being a cowboy is debatable, but it's even a story point he's Texan, which gives him immunity to liquid/heat based attacks. He is also openly referred to as a hillbilly by the Dungeon Master on several occasions.
* AntiHero - BTB is probably this, seeing as it's stated in universe he's Lawful Evil yet is supposed to help people with their computers, or a really sympathetic VillainProtagonist if only because his enemies are a deranged inverse of IdiotHoudini with some JerkAss and hefty amounts of InsaneTrollLogic thrown in.
* AuthorAvatar - BTB.
* AuthorAppeal - Apparently hot strippers and ice cold beer. Also, in universe and out, Swedish redheads.
* BigNo - One episode ends with one of these. It crosses over into the next episode.
* BoozeBasedBuff - Beer is regarded as such by BTB, despite evidence it's actually a debuff.
* CrazyCatLady - The featured customer from ''The Late, Great Mr. Fluff-Fluff''.
* DeadpanSnarker - Both BTB and the Dungeon Master, though more often the latter.
* DisproportionateRetribution - BTB often wants to inflict this on most customers.
* DumpStat - Charisma (everyone) and intelligence (customers).
* DungeonMaster
* ForTheEvulz - BTB indulges in this when dealing with customers he really hates, just because he can.
* JerkAssGod - The Dungeon Master most of the time, though he can be occasionally civil with BTB.
* JokeItem - Potions of awakening. BTB even lampshades his own idiocy in buying them.
* {{Hatedom}} - In universe, BTB loathes AOL, and even suffers status penalties for thinking about them.
* HammerSpace - BTB's inventory has so much implausible crap that this trope is blatantly lampshaded.
* HeroicBSOD - BTB is prone to these whenever dealing with his dumber customers.
* ImprovisedWeapon - BTB once makes a set of [[InstantChucks Beer Chucks]] out of some empty beer cans and string when his main weapon gets destroyed at one point.
* OnlySaneMan - BTB, and, at times, the Dungeon Master.
* {{Satan}} - The VP of marketing for BTB's company.
* RandomNumberGod - The Dungeon Master. Unfortunately, he often doubles as a JerkAssGod.
* ShoutOut - [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater ''Beerchucks, yo!'']]
* TooDumbToLive - Pretty much every single person BTB has to help with their computer.
* VulgarHumor- In "Get Off My Internets", BTB tries to explain how the internet works to a customer. [[NauseaFuel Using a metaphor that involved naked fat gay men sodomizing each other.]] It's so gross and over the top even the DM gets a severe case of {{Squick}}.
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