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->''"Get away from the book by any means you can. Or, if you've been unfortunate enough to pay money for it already, fling it against the wall. It'll make a really satisfying thwack! when it hits. Just make sure no pets or toddlers are in the way."''
-->-- '''Smart Bitches, Trashy Books''' on "Top Ten Signs You're Reading A Very Bad Romance Novel" [[https://web.archive.org/web/20130118121112/http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/books/extras/top-ten-signs-youre-reading-a-very-bad-romance-novel (archive.org link)]]

There are some books you pick up and read, then put down and never pick up again. Others, after you've read them, find themselves hurled against a wall pretty damned quick. This is a tribute to those "fallen heroes".

'''''Important Notes''''':

# Merely being offensive in its subject matter is not sufficient. Hard as it is to imagine at times, [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgment there is a market for all types of deviancy]], no matter how small a niche it is. It has to ''fail to appeal even to that niche'' to qualify as this.

# This page is not for horrible '''individual chapters''' of otherwise good books. For those, see {{DethroningMoment.Literature}}.

!!Examples (more-or-less in alphabetical order):

[[folder:Authors and Publishers]]
* '''Alphascript Publishing''' and '''Betascript Publishing''' have published over 300,000 books. Sounds pretty interesting, until you realize that all of them are just a bunch of Wikipedia articles. "High Quality Content by WIKIPEDIA Articles!", the cover of each book states. It gets worse, though. The title of each book is a complete lie. For example, why does ''Giving Circles'' have a Wikipedia article on the United Kingdom in it? While the Wikipedia article on "Giving Circles" ''is'' in the book, it only takes up one page of the 108-page book. The covers [[http://brianbusby.blogspot.com/2011/10/alpha-beta-dada.html are]] epic failures, such as the book on the Fieseler Fi 167 showing a [[CriticalResearchFailure C-130]], and another on the 1867 Canadian Election showing '''the United States flag'''. The editors don't check the articles to make sure they're accurate, which means that vandalism could end up in the books. The books are often only 40-50 pages long, yet cost up to $100 — for Wikipedia articles that you can get on the internet '''for free'''. Many of the books are "Temporarily out of stock" on Amazon. [[FridgeLogic How can something can be "out of stock" when it's printed on demand?]] Flu Press is a similar offender, even offering these so-called books on eBay.
* '''Denise Brown Ellis''':
** In 2010, she wrote ''The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists: (Book 1) The Land of the Moepek''. [[ThirtySuePileup Full of Mary Sues]], dull conversations that have nothing to do with the plot, and lots of grammar errors.
** ''[[http://www.amazon.com/ANTIGUA-Land-Fairies-Wizards-Heroes/dp/1425997821 ANTIGUA: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes]]'' is just as bad. It is most notable for featuring at least as many exclamation marks as it does full stops. The excerpt available on Amazon is SoBadItsGood, but the novelty wears thin before long. It also purports to be a ''teen novel'', but reads like a book made for ''preschoolers.'' Worse, the author blatantly advertised her book in review sections and insulted people who tried to give her advice. And there's a ''frickin' 4 Star review'' that was ''very clearly'' written by the author or [[YourMom her mom.]]
* '''Books LLC's ''Wikipedia Source''''' series might be an even worse example of published Wiki/{{Wikipedia}} articles than the aforementioned Alphascript and Betascript Publishing. In addition to possessing all their flaws, the books' content seems to have been randomly selected by an automated algorithm, leading to verbal diarrhea such as "Gremlin Interactive Games: Loaded, Fragile Allegiance, Jungle Strike, Series/TopGear 3000, Harlequin, VideoGame/BodyHarvest, {{Utopia}}: The Creation of a Nation" and incoherent descriptions. The presentation also has the barest minimum effort put into it, with most of the covers looking like [[http://www.biblio-moto-books.net/images/motorcycle_manufacturers_of_italy.jpg this.]].
* '''Dario Ford''' published two books on Amazon, ''Skywalker'' and'' 'NDRANGHETA''. They are poorly-written and barely-edited works that desperately try to emulate Creator/TerryPratchett and Creator/TomClancy respectively, without any of the intelligence, charm, and style. His books probably would have gone unnoticed...had he not tried to ''claim that Pratchett and Clancy'' '''co-wrote''' ''these books''. Neither of them wrote a single word for either of Ford's books, and Ford's attempts to capitalize off of their AuthorExistenceFailure with half-assed stories is a disgusting joke.
* '''Nancy Stouffer''' is a writer who gained infamy in 2000 after claiming that her 1984 books ''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles'' and ''Larry Potter and his Best Friend Lilly'' provided the inspiration for Creator/JKRowling's ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series, using flimsy comparisons between the two books (such that the fact that they both contained "characters in tights" and "wooden doors") to try to bolster her case. The case was notable partly because of the FrivolousLawsuit (which Stouffer lost comprehensively) and partly because those books were unspeakably awful, ''especially'' the former.
** ''Literature/TheLegendOfRahAndTheMuggles'' has so many blunders that a full list of them would at least double the size of this page, so [[http://www.magespace.net/mugrev.html here are]] [[http://impishidea.com/tag/the-legend-of-rah-and-the-muggles/ a few]] [[http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20the%20legend%20of%20rah%20and%20the%20muggles handy plot breakdowns]] should you wish to subject yourself to them anyway. Once news from the lawsuit started spreading, a small-time publisher tried to cash in on NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity and did a small printing run; said publisher quickly went bankrupt. To give a quick summary, the story can't decide what it wants to be at all. It starts with two baby twins who are sent from a post-apocalyptic wasteland by their mother who is [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome never brought up again]]. The twins are rescued by friendly talking sea animals with speech impediments(!) and "spooners of the deep" (which are never explained what they are; even going to the included glossary says they're... "[[ShapedLikeItself spooners of the deep]]"). When they get to the land of the titular Muggles, which are [[UncannyValley grotesquely almost-infantile creatures]] mutated by radiation, they bring the sun back after a nuclear winter. [[MarySue Somehow]]. Throw in wild inconsistencies about the Muggles themselves -- such as one character who keeps changing ages, ridiculous elements such as a "lemonade lake", and the antagonist, one of the twins who is AlwaysSecondBest, [[IdiotBall gets sick from keeping his hideout in a ridiculously-irradiated tree]], and at the end, it turns out that they're literally scared of their own shadows. Rah [[DesignatedHero doesn't care about his brother at all]], the plot focusing on keeping him down instead of trying to redeem him. And to top it all off, it ends by suddenly turning into a fable about where stars come from! Which is it? Dark apocalyptic drama? Sickeningly sweet fantasy? A child's ghost story? A fable? It's as if nothing whatsoever about the story was planned out in advance.
** ''Larry Potter and his Best Friend Lilly'' fares no better. It has no real story other than "Larry Potter has a lot of friends", which is well below the standards of children's literature. The illustrations are even worse than her other book, with the two titular protagonists looking nothing like human beings at all.
* '''Gloria Tesch''' is a teenage writer that rose to infamy thanks to her work, the ''Literature/MaradoniaSaga''. Her work was backed by her own [[StageMom Stage Dad]], who has an army of lawyers and sock puppet accounts ready to silence anyone currently trying to speak out against it. Gloria was publicized as "the world's youngest novelist", when other people younger than her (even before her) have already written works of better quality.
** ''The Maradonia Saga'' is a series of nine books (however, Tesch insists it's a ''trilogy''), and has more problems than there are story chapters (at least ''90'' chapters per book!). They all have awful formatting, a plot knee deep in Mary Sues, callous sociopathic protagonists, and a confusing story that plagiarizes ideas from other, far more credible works). Sporks of the first three books can be found [[http://impishidea.com/tag/maradonia-%28series%29/ here]]; expect such exciting things as a talking grasshopper, Apollyon and the Club of Evil (that sings Mother Earth songs and has a water park), the salsa dance, and more!
** In 2010, a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6oa9ifwLmU Trailer]] for a ''movie adaptation'' of the first book has been released, and it effectively shows what happens when someone tries to do too much with too little. In an interview, she said that in the near future, she would make a films series that would rival ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'', and a ''theme park'' inspired by her books.
* '''Nigel Tomm''' is an "absurdist artist" with a {{Hatedom}} for his [[SmallNameBigEgo narcissistic and pretentious attitude]]. His works, [[Horrible/{{Film}} in multiple media]], aren't much better:
** ''The Blah Story'' is the second-longest novel [[note]](the longest is ''Marienbad My Love'', by Mark Leach, with 17,000,000 words)[[/note]], containing both the longest sentence and longest coined word in English. This might have been SoBadItsGood, except the book's written something like "In a blah she was blah blah blah down a blah between blah roses blah blah blah her blah blah hair blah blah gently the blah blah trees..." A little tidbit of horror — Robert Jordan's ''Literature/TheWheelOfTime'' series has a total of 4,012,859 words, and that consists of ''fifteen'' books all qualifying for {{Doorstopper}} status. ''The Blah Story'' has '''11,300,000''' words!
** Another book of Tomm's, ''[[LongTitle Scarlett Johansson Asked Artie Lange: "Are You Too Fat To Fish Some Natalie Portman?" He Answered: I Must Have Sex With Adriana Lima, Robin Quivers & Eva Longoria Parker As They're My Life Calendar]]'', is just as bad. It is a lot like ''The Blah Story'' in that it replaces actual words with phrases like "tra la la," "taram pam pam," and "ha ha ha" so that the sentences (and thus the book) make no sense.

[[folder:Standalone examples]]
* '''''101 WACKY Computer Jokes''''' by J.B. and J.C. Stamper is one of the worst joke books ever made, and that is saying something. Every single "joke" is a cheap, nonsensical pun based loosely around some computing term: "What did the prisoner do when he got a computer? He ESCAPED!" Get it? Because there's a key called the ESCAPE key! And then there's "The Presidents of the Computed States of America," which is nothing but the names of US presidents turned into computer puns. This terrible joke is made even worse by the fact that they not only came up with puns for just ''five'' presidents, but gave each one his own page, leaving the rest of the page blank, without even an illustration. Seanbaby tore into this book in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-geek-humor-books-by-authors-who-understand-neither_p2/ this Cracked article.]]
* '''''500 Manga Creatures''''' by Yishan Li might have been a decent clipart/how to draw book...if you like blatantly plagiarized ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' and ''Franchise/{{Digimon}}'' artwork. [[https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51NIIZ4xjnL.jpg Just by looking at the cover]], you can see what are clearly supposed to be [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Weedle, Dragonair, Hoothoot, Oddish, Latias,]] [[Franchise/{{Digimon}} Angewomon, Mummymon and Cherrymon]], as well as (for some reason) [[Franchise/SailorMoon Artemis]]. [[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061650501/ref=pd_sim_14_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PCMT9FGZ1WA6PXB70Q28 Pretty much all of the reviews for it on Amazon]] point out how a good 90% of the artwork is blatantly ripped off from official Pokemon art.
* '''''Literature/AlfiesHome''''' (1993) is an attack on homosexuals thinly disguised as a story about a boy who was molested by his CreepyUncle. There are holes in both the plot and the logic. The drawings look like drunken WesternAnimation/SchoolhouseRock concept sketches, seem to defy all perspective, and could have been done in UsefulNotes/MSPaint. Even worse, it plugs therapy based on a [[CureYourGays scientific theory]] that had been discredited decades earlier, and the boy's uncle pulls a KarmaHoudini. And it was aimed ''[[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids at toddlers]]''?
* [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement All politics aside,]] A.J. Weberman's '''''America's Most Dangerous Nazi''''' is a bias-ridden, hateful piece of non-fiction that borders on libel and has no reason to exist beyond politician-bashing. Not even the covers (either of them) can resist {{Godwin|sLaw}}ning, by means of Photoshop. Rather than even make an attempt at neutrality or objectivity, the book resorts to slamming UsefulNotes/RonPaul and his supporters with cheap insults, picking the worst of the latter and representing them as the whole, even going as far to slamming non-supporters such as Glenn Greenwald with these insults just because they said a few good things about Paul. Every argument presented here is completely one-sided and transparent, foreswearing any attempts at fairness in favor of getting the message across. Allegedly, Weberman found himself on the receiving end of several libel lawsuits as a result of this book's release. If it were better known, it would qualify as a case of UnwantedAssistance for Ron Paul's detractors and whatever legitimate criticisms they may have.
* The '''''Franchise/BaldursGate'' novelizations''' by Phillip Athans are a prime example of how not to adapt a video game into book form. The storyline is little more than a seemingly unending series of fight scenes with characters being killed off as quickly as they are introduced, not even touching upon the themes of the series and leaving out all of the intrigue and story present in the original games. Blatant character defilement abounds, with [[ActionGirl Jaheria]], a tough, strong woman in the games, being reduced to a little more than a DamselInDistress who exists to have sex with the main character. Her NiceGuy husband Khalid becomes a JerkAss DomesticAbuser for no reason whatsoever, and Imoen is turned from a plucky, cheerful girl to a depressed victim of the main character’s bullying who, for no reason other than FanService, has a pointless lesbian sex scene. The main character, Abdel Adrian, is an unlikable and uninteresting JerkAss who does little beyond fighting and having sex with various women and shows almost none of the interesting traits of the player character in the games, and yet is [[MarySue somehow fawned over and praised by almost everyone else in the story.]] The result was an adaptation entirely reviled by the fan base. It received near unanimous bashing on both [[https://www.amazon.co.uk/Baldurs-Forgotten-Realms-Philip-Athans/dp/0786915250/ref=pd_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=SMWPP4Q4AZ6TMHJ1V2JP Amazon]] and [[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/291738.Baldur_s_Gate_II Goodreads]] and Creator/WizardsOfTheCoast themselves made the novels CanonDiscontinuity. Even the writer of the final book, Drew Karpshyn, lamented that there was [[http://drewkarpyshyn.com/c/?page_id=7 little he could do to please fans after the mess made by the first two books.]]
* '''''Blood: The Last Vampire: Night of the Beasts''''' by Creator/MamoruOshii is a continuation of the anime film ''Anime/BloodTheLastVampire'', which stars a vampire hunter named Saya fighting monsters. Given that the film involved a lot of blood, monster-hunting, and gory action, you'd think the book would be more of the same. Instead, the novel is less of a story about vampire-hunting and more of a clumsy collection of essays that fail to form any semblance of a coherent narrative. Rather than focus on Saya, the story focuses on a bland male student who goes from location to location listening to people have philosophical discussions and debates on increasingly uninteresting topics such as body disposal, the hunter hypothesis, and religious conspiracies. Saya, meanwhile, briefly appears only three times in the entire book and barely interacts with the protagonist, if at all. The novel is such an ill-conceived mess that one can only feel sorry for the translator who had to translate Oshii's incoherent and incredibly dull ramblings.
* The award for "most useless martial arts manual of all time" could ''easily'' go to '''''The Book of the Ninja'''''. A "ninja manual" that includes "deadly fighting secrets", only to tell the reader to exercise caution to ''not'' kill people with them, this poor excuse for a book is horribly put together (photos were basically xeroxed onto the pages, the "About the Author" page has a picture of the author, but then goes into a tangent about who ninjas were, etc.) and contains one of the most laughable "fighting techniques" in history. The photos have nothing to do with the moves they're talking about, looking more like vague limb flailing at best. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf61Z58jKwY This video]] does a pretty good job of tearing it apart.
* Robert Newcomb's '''''Literature/ChroniclesOfBloodAndStone''''' series was billed as the next big epic fantasy series by its publisher, Del Rey, and given all sorts of heaping praise by reviewers who were clearly both bribed into giving a positive review and incapable of reading the books themselves. The first in the series, ''The Fifth Sorceress'', presents all women as either stupid and complacent or horrendously, disgustingly evil and corrupt; it's essentially a series of one DeusExMachina after another, and suggests that [[ArtisticLicenseBiology pregnancies last for somewhere between 24 hours and six months]]. Frighteningly, the sequel is several dozen times worse in every possible way. However, the ''Chronicles'' were tame compared to the second trilogy written by Newcomb, ''The Literature/DestiniesOfBloodAndStone''. The final book, ''Rise of the Blood Royal', includes a huge ClicheStorm that makes Hurricane Katrina look like a breezy Spring morning.
* '''''[[http://www.booktopia.com.au/collectables-guitars-jake-jackson/prod9781847862068.html Collectables: Guitars: Makes, Models, Stars]]''''' is, even as a bargain bin picture book, not really worth the paper it's printed on. The book itself is very minimal in terms of information and doesn't show any full pictures of the instruments. The more you see incorrect dates of [[AnachronismStew even more modern guitars supposedly being created in 1955]], the more you realize that they just didn't care. [[http://iheartguitarblog.com/2012/07/worst-guitar-book-ever.html#sthash.Go4JMrhM.dpbs Take a look at a review of it here.]]
* '''''Das Reich Artam''''', an AlternateHistory set in a victorious UsefulNotes/NaziGermany which even exists more than a hundred years later. If you think this could become problematic, you're right — while not stating it outright, the author seems to have a bit too much sympathy for the Nazis and not too much for their democratic successors who wreck the Reich, so the Germans in the settled East (formerly Russia) are the only upright ones left. Add some soft porn for "controversy" and a scene about developing NewSpeak copied almost word-by-word from ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour'', and you've got a stinker for the ages.
* '''''Diary of a Lonely Demon''''', written by Jon David, is a classic example of what happens when a MarySue [[JustForFun/XMeetsY meets]] [[UnfortunateImplications Misogyny]]. In a nutshell, the story revolves around one Jasper Davis, a [[{{Wangst}} wangsty]] self-insert that blames everything that's wrong with his life on ''[[StrawCharacter eeevil women]]''. Jasper then runs into Morgalla Smythe, a demon girl that [[InsaneTrollLogic apparently turned Christian thanks to her new-found boyfriend.]] All of a sudden, [[ClicheStorm demons show up and it's up to Jasper and Morgalla to stop them.]] Ultimately an AuthorTract on how women are wrong and [[StrawMisogynist how Jon is right]], the author sets up a plethora of {{flat character}}s, adds a dash of blatant racism, sexism and other offenses, and caps it all off with a metric shit ton of grammatical errors and plot holes. Include the fact that many passages are often copied from [[Literature/TheHobbit other]] [[Film/{{Avatar}} works]], and that the author [[SmallNameBigEgo suffers from an inability to take constructive criticism properly]], and the book just keeps getting worse.
* In the wake of ''Anime/DragonBallZ'''s monumental success, a lot of guidebooks were released to the general market -- some of them good, some of them... not so much. '''''Dragon Ball Z: An Unauthorized Guide''''', by the mother-son team of Lois and Danny Gresh, is the most absolutely worthless of the lot. A lot of the "jokes" are about Piccolo yelling "Feh! Feh!" followed by Japanese swearing, the section on DBZ roleplaying devolves into a pointless example session involving global warming and styrofoam (!), and the chapter on the DBZ games mentions importing titles... only to completely handwave the fact that most U.S. consoles ''can't play Japanese games without modding the console.'' Even worse, several of the high reviews on Amazon.com are from "A Customer", and it's pretty obvious that the entire book was marketed towards the younger potential fanbase who hadn't even seen the show, as opposed to those who had (and thus knew better than to go anywhere near this dreck with a 10-foot pole). [[http://thedaoofdragonball.com/blog/book-reviews/dragonball-book-review-dragonball-z-an-unauthorized-guide/ If you want to learn more, here is a review from the writer of the much better Dragon Ball Culture books.]]
** As a guide, it fails miserably on several levels. On the one hand, it only gives little more than the most basic trivia regarding the characters, episodes, etc. of the series. Now, this wouldn't be so bad given it is supposed to be geared towards people new to the show. But, it never really goes too far beyond that. It doesn't go extremely in-depth about the franchise, but it also doesn't really explain anything about the show's mythos or whatnot either. To make matters worse, the book tends to go on pointless tangents about completely unrelated things. In fact, you're more likely to learn pointless trivia on nearly everything else (including that Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth. No, seriously, that's actually mentioned in the book) than you are about the Dragonball franchise. This turns the book from simply being lacking in any in-depth information on DBZ into a confusing mess.
* '''''Literature/EmpressTheresa''''' may be quite possibly the most notorious case of authorial narcissism in literature history. A {{Doorstopper}} at over 400 pages, the book is an incomprehensible mishmash of flat and uninteresting characters, a non-existent story, plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, a number of story elements that simply make no sense, an overly long amount of time dedicated to ogling an underage girl's body, bad pacing, bad grammar and much, much more. What really puts it here though is its writer Norman Boutin, an insane case of SmallNameBigEgo and CantTakeCriticism who, when not outright attempting to censor complaints, goes on insane diatribes as he attempts to argue the book is the greatest in human history. WebVideo/DownTheRabbitHole's Fredrick Knudsen [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TedsiCaV2B4 did an episode]] detailing the depths of Boutin's narcissism, and then devoted [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNCUp2VkKhs an entire livestream]] just to tearing the book itself apart.
* Two of several ''Franchise/FridayThe13th'' books released in a deal between Creator/NewLineCinema and publisher Black Flame:
** '''''Friday the 13th: Hell Lake''''', a Black Flame book, is a {{Doorstopper}} with pacing problems that gives Jason CharacterDerailment. The author uses stereotypes about him and ignores earlier canon in the process. Jason now hates sex so much, he'll drop what he's doing to kill some rapists ''and'' their victim. He now can ''literally'' [[OffscreenTeleportation teleport]]; [[SpeakOfTheDevil just thinking about him apparently summons him]]. At one point, he appears to materialize from a television. Through an unexplained mental bond, he befriends the secondary villain. He has henchmen following him around a few times. He flays a guy and wears his skin and clothing as a disguise. (Ed Gein taught him how to in Hell. Yes, that's canon.) He screams in pain and throws tantrums when he's hurt, and in one sequence he mows dozens down with a machine gun. Most of the characters, who are from the backwoods New Jersey town of Crystal Lake, talk like stereotypical {{Upper Class Twit}}s (even the jocks!) and insult people by calling them "[[YouFool fool]]". And the author [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking keeps referring Camp Crystal Lake as Lake Blood instead of using the correct nickname Camp Blood]].
** '''''[[Film/JasonX Jason X: Death Moon]]''''' is also horrific. Half the time, it feels like the vaguely pretentious nonsensical ramblings of [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs a stoner]], due to the author constantly going going off on weird rants unrelated to anything. Various concepts (Teknopriests? Akasha.net?) are introduced but never explained, and the story's unreadable half the time due to the fact that ''[[BizarroEpisode you can't tell what the fuck]] [[MindScrew is going on]]''.
* '''The official strategy guide for ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIX''''' is universally hailed as the worst strategy guide of all time. Likely due to ExecutiveMeddling from Creator/{{Squaresoft}}, the guide consisted of extremely short, little-detail sections that asked the reader to visit Square's [=PlayOnline=] website for the ''actual'' information. Given that this was in 2000, most people didn't have access to the internet, and those who did would be better off visiting Website/GameFAQs anyway. When Prima did a 2015 omnibus re-release for the ''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII VII]]'', ''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII VIII]]'' and ''IX'' guides, it got a complete overhaul.
* '''''Ghost Hunting 2.0: Breaking New Ground''''' is a book by Chris Bores (better known as WebVideo/TheIrateGamer) that's supposedly about new methods of ghost hunting that he developed, but in actuality is just another testament to his already [[SmallNameBigEgo famously massive ego]]. The book is plagued with spelling, grammar, and formatting errors, which Bores openly defends as being intentional. Most of the "facts" presented are self-contradicting and have little to no evidence, sourcing, or reasoning other than his own word that the experts are wrong and he is right. The majority of the tools and texts he brings up, which he claims no one else uses, have been thoroughly debunked as useless by professional ghost hunters (including peanut butter baits and the ''Tibetan Book of the Dead'', which is an extremely poorly translated Buddhist self-help guide). He spends half of the book making references to things like Batman and Scooby-Doo. He repeatedly brags about how he was at one point the 55th most subscribed person on Website/YouTube, conveniently leaving out the fact that it was for his video game review show. And by the end, he declares that he has created a new branch of psychology. On top of all of this, the book has a 3-star rating on Amazon due to the actual critiques being counterbalanced by a flood of 5-star reviews written by the author's own spambots and defensive Irate Gamer fans who admit to not having read it.
* '''''Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie''''', a lazy {{Defictionalization}} of the ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes [[RunningGag bedtime story]] and a good reason why Bill Watterson [[NoodleIncident never discussed the plot in the strip]]. The story itself is unimaginative, it may have been published [[MoneyDearBoy for a quick buck]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the illustrations are crude]]. The "author" (Mabel Barr) shares its name with the in-universe version ([[PunnyName Mabel Syrup]]) and it's only eight pages long with a good chunk of the last an order form. To put it in perspective, buying it at the selling price of $20.95 translates to more than $3 a page with shipping! All of its [[PolishTheTurd positive]] [[http://www.amazon.com/Hamster-Huey-Gooey-Kablooie-Adventure/product-reviews/0974909009/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1 Amazon reviews]] are [[BribingYourWayToVictory from the author's hometown.]]
* Clifford Bowyer's deservedly obscure '''''Imperium Saga''''' could rival ''The Eye of Argon'' for sheer bad writing. But it gets worse by having the characters [[IdiotPlot toss around the Idiot Ball every five seconds]]. The first book in the series ''alone'' provides the following highlights:
** "Legendary" Warlord Braksis sets an invading [[MultipleHeadCase three-headed]] "[[PerfectlyCromulentWord tragon]]" on fire and watches it demolish a town in its death throes, then afterward decides ''it was a bad idea''... but '''[[MoralDissonance people praise him for the destruction of their city]]'''.
** Heroic groups of five fight off hordes of 50 or more without a single injury. Seriously.
** There are so many races that it's hard to believe that the planet's ecology is intact. There's a reference to a "non-human troll", as if a fantasy creature could be both human and troll.
** A sex scene that uses "raging inferno" five times in three pages.
* '''''Literature/MassEffectDeception''''', a tie-in book released in the months leading up to ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''. Notably, it was also the first novel not written by the series' head writer, Drew Karpyshyn. It was supposed to be a sidestory featuring the continuing adventures of Gillian Grayson; it wound up gaining the hatred of fans for its tactless treatment of [[HideYourLesbians homo]][[BuryYourGays sexuality]] and [[ThrowingOffTheDisability autism]], a [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XBpMF3ONlI308D9IGG8KICBHfWKU0sXh0ntukv-_cmo/edit?pli=1 list of research errors]] longer than IMDB's "Goofs" page for ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'', and its [[SeriesContinuityError overall absence of anything resembling consistency or continuity]]. Not that it fared any better among non-fans--long, drawn out chapters (often [[ShowDontTell expository]] and [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment redundant]]) were a common occurrence. Proofreading, however... ''was not,'' to say the very least. Publisher Del Rey openly apologized for (and promised to radically rewrite, though it never happened) the book.
* '''''Literature/MeinKampf'', as translated by James Murphy''', took what was something already derided as being [[{{Doorstopper}} overly long]] and [[PurpleProse hideously thick]] in its original form and somehow made it worse. [[AdaptationDecay The writing style was changed drastically]], [[CutAndPasteTranslation alterations and expansions were blatant and hackneyed]], and [[ObviousBeta spelling and grammar were all over the place]]. The book resembles a bad fanfic of the original; its clunky, dull, flowery prose results at least partially from the author's habit of [[BlindIdiotTranslation looking up the words he didn't know in a German-English dictionary and picking the first definition he saw]]. Worse, it was submitted incomplete when Murphy changed his mind about the Nazis and fled Germany, meaning the press had to finish translation. Perhaps fortunately, the few copies that the Nazi press produced were lost until 2008, effectively destroying any chance for this abomination to become anything more than a bizarre curiosity.
* '''''Mermaid's Kiss And Siren's Song''''', a poorly disguised ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'' fanfic published on Amazon. All the character are thinly-veiled {{Expies}} and one-dimensional, there's RougeAnglesOfSatin everywhere, and... you know what? The [[http://www.amazon.com/Mermaids-Kiss-And-Sirens-Song/product-reviews/1419617710 reviews]] speak for themselves.
** One notable review lists the various things the book is good for i.e kindling material, sopping up spilled milk, steadying wobbly tables, etc.
* '''''Literature/MissionEarth''''', a decalogy [[note]](novel in ten volumes)[[/note]] by Creator/LRonHubbard. Weighing in at nearly 4,000 pages, this was Hubbard's idea of clever SciFi satire. The story moves at an incredibly-slow pace and showcases every sexual perversion you could think of and then some. Rampant misogyny abounds. The story's nothing more than a thinly-veiled pamphlet for Scientology and keeps hitting the reader over the head with its messages against psychology and psychiatry. [[http://www.modemac.com/cgi-bin/wiki.pl/Mission_Earth Here's a highly-detailed overview.]]
* ''VideoGame/MortalKombatDeception'' was a fine game, but '''its official strategy guide''' from [=BradyGames=] was almost unreadable. To start with, apparently [[RougeAnglesOfSatin nobody proofread the damn thing]], as typos litter almost every page resulting in colossal examples like, "Dairou will appears, kills the guards and sets you free." Only a ''few'' of the game's Fatalities are given, along with one or two of the suicide moves; it seems the author forgot that half the reason anyone plays ''Mortal Kombat'' at all [[JustHereForGodzilla is just for the finishing moves]]. Ghostly Liu Kang appears as a secret character in the game - [[TrailersAlwaysSpoil this was even revealed in certain previews for the game]] - but the guide goes to a clumsy effort to hide him by including his movelist & suggested strategy while omitting his name & those of his fighting styles & moves. There aren't even any screenshots in this section; indeed, there really aren't any pictures at all. Clearly, the Konquest section was based on an early build; many items are nowhere near where they're said to be, and it goes by a coordinate grid system that clearly changed in development. Even worse, this section is organized by realm, so since you have to go back & forth between realms in the game, you have to flip back & forth between sections in this strategy guide. Furthermore, the Krypt - where the hell is it? At least [=BradyGames=] went to the effort to acknowledge its existence in the ''previous game's strategy guide'' even though it was still left to you to find out what was in each koffin and how much it [[IncrediblyLamePun kost]], but here there isn't even a section for you to write this data in at all. There isn't even a ''chapter'' of any kind for the Krypt, one of the biggest aspects of the game. The book also includes a useless Kombat Kodex that was meant to be used online, though apparently [[WhatCouldHaveBeen whatever they were planning to do with it never happened]]. One "nifty" extra is a fold-out at the end of the book that has character bios on it. It would be kinda cool... if all of them were in fact right: Half of Kobra's is missing and Noob/Smoke's last half is replaced with that of Havik's. Also included is a preview of the comic book series that was never released. The unfinished concept art you see of it in this guide? That's literally all that exists of it. You are holding the entire series, such as it is, in one hand with this guide. Finally, as a strategy guide for a fighting game its usefulness is already pretty limited - it's one of those genres where you would do best to come up with your own strategy rather than trying to read & memorize someone else's ideas for what to do with such-and-such character, but as if individual character strategies weren't enough there's also a section describing each arena in great detail so you know exactly what to look for when it comes to stage traps & fatalities. One section, describing the Courtyard, even admits there's nothing to say about it. Tellingly, [[https://www.amazon.com/Mortal-Kombat%C3%82%C2%BF-Deception-Official-Signature/product-reviews/0744004330/ref=cm_cr_dp_synop?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=recent#R33H0RRF1RENBR 12 out of the 13 reviews posted to Amazon are only one star (the other is a two-star review).]]
* '''"[[https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/6pfmim/this_incredible_poem_by_ready_player_one_author/ Nerd Porn Auteur]]"''' by [[Literature/ReadyPlayerOne Ernest Cline]]. To call it poetry would be [[YouKeepUsingThatWord a crime against language]], for not a single line scans in any way. Every single line has a different number of syllables from the ones before or after it, and no attention is paid to the natural rhythm of speech, so it definitely isn't free verse, either. The only way it could be passed off as a poem is because of the nonstandard line breaks. If that were not bad enough, the entire poem is just a [[EntitledToHaveYou "Nice Guy"]] complaining about girls sleeping with jocks instead of people like him, and, despite claiming to dislike the objectification of women, [[{{Hypocrite}} does so himself]], without any self-awareness. Not to mention that "nerd porn" almost certainly exists already-- this ''[[TheInternetIsForPorn is]]'' the Internet, after all. Every single comment on the linked page states that it has no scansion and barely deserves to be called poetry at all.
** "Nerd Porn Auteur" is also included in a poetry collection, titled ''[[https://www.amazon.com/Importance-Being-Ernest-Cline-ebook/dp/B00NMXR16I/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 The Importance of Being Ernest]]''. ([[IThoughtItMeant No, not]] [[Theatre/TheImportanceOfBeingEarnest that one]].) All of it fails at being poetry and is more like blog posts or short stories with random line breaks inserted, and range in subject matter from the ''Series/{{Airwolf}}'' TV show to having Nostradamus as a roommate to cunnilingus (yes, really). None are great, but "Nerd Porn Auteur" is definitely the worst of the lot.
* '''''No Touching''''' by Aileen Deng. Let's put it this way — the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, [[OldShame who were responsible for its very commissioning, would kindly like to forget it ever existed]]. The book was published to promote awareness about {{Asexuality}} and debunk some of the most common myths, but the writer is incredibly ignorant of the theme and can't convey correctly what little she gets right, giving us instead a cliché storm that makes you want to scream to the protagonist "StopBeingStereotypical!". What little enjoyable stuff this tome has is ruined by the unpolished writing and inconsistent characterization. [[http://www.amazon.com/No-Touching-Aileen-Deng/dp/1449900313 Elizabeth the Gray's review]] goes into more detail. For a long time this book had a 3-star average on Amazon. Elizabeth and a pair of reviewers gave it one star each [[note]]On 2015 one more person reviewed it with one star, finally bringing it down to two stars[[/note]], and two people who haven't reviewed ''anything else on the site'' gave it four and five stars. Not to mention, the aforementioned four-star review almost immediately attacks Elizabeth's review. Way to be discreet.
* '''''Org's Odyssey''''' by Duke Otterland. The whole plot is a ClicheStorm of a fantasy novel about Org of Otterland, a hero born from the daughter of a god who must save Anglia from evil. The beginning explains how the Anthropians came to be, but it comes off as PurpleProse. Moreover, the battles are unfair — the good guys outnumber the evildoers [[OneSidedBattle 7 to 1]]. See the reviews [[http://www.amazon.com/Orgs-Odyssey-Tale-Post-human-Earth/dp/0595316794 here.]] More recently, it's become the replacement read for ''The Eye of Argon'' at [=AnthroCon=], which started the two-hour session with four readers and ended with over 30. It's figured there's enough fresh material for almost a decade.
* Radio/GlennBeck's '''''The Overton Window''''' is called one of the worst works of literature ever written. The LA Times said it was less a train-wreck than "[[http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jun/23/entertainment/la-et-rutten-20100623 a lurching, low-speed derailment halfway out of the station]]". [[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/14/AR2010061405423.html The Washington Post concurs.]] [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-steps-to-writing-successful-suspense-with-glenn-beck/ Here's a Cracked article about it.]]
** How terrible is Beck's [[PurpleProse prose]]? Here's an excerpt from the novel:
--->''"these liberated chestnut curls framed a handsome face made twice as radiant by the mysteries surely waiting just behind those light green eyes."''
** The book is even worse than previously thought established. [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/glenn-becks-new-novel-abo_b_613861.html It turns out]] ''The Overton Window'' is a blatant retread of the 2005 thriller ''Circumference of Darkness''. ''Overton'' was even ghostwritten by ''Circumference'' writer Jack Henderson. The only difference is that the names are swapped, and the bad guys in ''Overton'' are left-wing lunatics instead of right-wing lunatics.
* The Literature/DoctorWhoNewAdventures story '''''The Pit''''' by Neil Penswick is commonly regarded as the worst ''Series/DoctorWho'' novel of all time, not least because of the tedious nature of the story, which is written entirely in BeigeProse to boot. The Doctor is completely useless and does virtually nothing throughout — which to be fair was part of a larger ''New Adventures'' StoryArc, but is taken WAY overboard in this novel — and Bernice Summerfield acts completely out of character, coming across as cold-hearted and irritable. Legendary poet William Blake appears as one of the main characters, but is completely wasted and just spends most of his time complaining about the situation he's in. Worst of all, the whole thing ends up being one giant ShaggyDogStory, making it even more infuriating to have to sit through the bland and confusing storyline. Fortunately, you don't have to read through the whole thing; [[http://www.drwhoguide.com/whona12p.htm this prologue]] (originally published in ''Magazine/DoctorWhoMagazine'') illustrates its main problems well enough.
* Of all the books meant to warn people about the [[CriticalResearchFailure dangers of]] ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'', none are as bad as Phil Arms' book '''''Pokemon and [[Franchise/HarryPotter Harry Potter]]: A Fatal Attraction'''''. [[NeverTrustATitle Despite what the title says, Harry Potter only gets one chapter in the entire book]], which tries (and fails) to equate ''Pokemon'' with New Age beliefs, but stumbles into CriticalResearchFailure (i.e. not realizing that Digimon and Pokemon are made by two different companies, failing to understand that Mewtwo had [[JerkassHasAPoint perfectly good reasons]] to blow up the lab [[note]]granted, they were in a Drama CD only released in Japan, but still[[/note]], ignoring the fact that you don't actually kill, maim, or steal anyone or anything in the game... and that's just three random errors he made), RougeAnglesOfSatin ("J.K. Rawlings"? "Zobat"?), over-reliance on forums and websites already critical of Pokemon, ''[[ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch and a note where he outright states he doesn't actually play or read the things he's attacking]]''. Reviews can be found on Amazon [[http://www.amazon.com/Pokemon-Harry-Potter-Fatal-Attraction/product-reviews/1575580675/ref=cm_cr_dp_synop/192-5176829-5466719?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending#R230APTPXBBOZO here]], with an average of ''1.8'' (with most of the 5-star reviews being troll reviews).
* '''''Rise of the Zombies''''' is free on Google Books, but even then you'll want your money back. The book is a pathetic two pages long, and they're the two stupidest pages ever; a father and son are out fishing, when zombie UsefulNotes/{{Blackbeard}} hauls himself onto the boat and eats them. In the space of a sentence, the zombies kill every single person on a nearby island. The president nukes the island, but the zombies somehow learn to fly planes and escape, and (again in just one sentence) kill all life on Earth. Out of nowhere, "Alien's [''sic''] from the planet Xenan" turn up and blow up Earth. [[https://books.google.com.br/books?id=gKIUX-4Zy-EC&printsec=frontcover&dq=Rise+of+the+Zombies&hl=en&sa=X&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=Rise%20of%20the%20Zombies&f=false It has to be seen to be believed.]] Another story by the same author has global warming cause Earth to lose its gravity.
* '''''The Robot''''' by Paul E. Watson is a self-described "wildly improbable male teen fantasy" in which two awkward high school friends-- Gabe, a science-loving geek and Dover, a CasanovaWannabe --discover a RobotGirl named T.R.I.N.A. in the [[MadScientistLaboratory secret laboratory]] in Gabe's father's basement. They mistakenly activate the robot when trying to have sex with it ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer yes, really]]), and T.R.I.N.A. escapes. Gabe and Dover then set out on a quest to foil an assassination plot against [[Series/{{DrPhil}} Dr. Phil]] with the help of government agents. Yes, ''that's the plot''. The characters-- ''especially'' Gabe and Dover --are [[{{Jerkass}} insufferably unlikeable]] and stereotypical. The dialogue mainly consists of tired clichés and crass sex jokes. There's a subplot where Gabe tries to connect with his father... which falls flat because the father [[AbusiveParents is extremely mean-spirited all throughout the novel]], and the payoff is unsatisfactory (at the end of the story, [[spoiler: despite everything that has happened, Gabe's father ''still'' grounds his son]]). Every chapter begins with an inspirational quote, including one about trying new things from [[Creator/{{MarxBrothers}} Groucho Marx]], but the events taking place in the chapters themselves don't live up to them. [[note]]In the chapter featuring the aforementioned quote, Gabe and Dover get left home alone, get drunk while playing Franchise/{{Halo}}, nearly look up pornography, and go against the words of a parent and enter the secret basement lab... where the two try having sex with ''a robot'' and accidentally power it on, setting the plot in motion.[[/note]] Ridiculously enough, the book is intended for ''[[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids 12-year-olds]]''.
* '''''The Sacred Seven''''' by Amy Stout is a deservedly obscure fantasy "epic" which is nevertheless only novella-length. The plot's a ClicheStorm in which a BigBad EvilSorcerer is trying to take over the world and playing MacGuffin GottaCatchThemAll. The attempts at "originality" are things like forest dwarves and the BigBad being a female elf leading a troll army instead of the traditional orc army. But what makes this book special is that it has over two dozen point-of-view characters over its meager pagecount in a large font. Most ''pages'' have at least one POV switch, which can be to a character in a completely different geographic location having completely different adventures. As you might expect, none of the LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters have [[FlatCharacter much of a detectable personality]]. The whole thing reads like an internet round robin written by a bunch of teenagers.
* Victoria Foyt's [[VanityPublishing vanity-published]] book '''''Literature/SaveThePearls: Revealing Eden''''' claims to be "the next ''[[Literature/TheHungerGames Hunger Games]]''" with its premise of an apocalyptic world where [[PersecutionFlip white people ("Pearls") are the minority, and black people ("Coals") are the "privileged" majority.]] That doesn't change the fact that it's just a whiny racist fantasizing about a world where her views are easily justified. It's almost unfair to say the [[UnfortunateImplications implications are unfortunate]], as that would imply a subtlety this book completely lacks. Ridiculous lengths and liberties (particularly with its use of [[HollywoodScience science]] to explain why black people are at an advantage) are taken in a transparent and ineffective attempt make the white characters (and whites as a whole) more sympathetic. That, and the book as a whole is ham-handed and devoid of any real effort. The book is currently rated 1 1/2 stars on [[http://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Eden-Save-Pearls-Part/product-reviews/0983650322/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_helpful?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0 Amazon]] (and just keeps on going down), with there being strong evidence that the handful of positive reviews [[AstroTurf were faked]]. A major part of the premise is that the main character has to use paint to disguise herself as a "Coal". The result of this? A promotional video where the actress playing her part is done up in BlackFace. Talk about horrid ideas...
* The first published book of the Chilean author Francisca Solar, '''''La Septima M''''' ("''The Seventh M''"), a YA/Paranormal detective novel about the investigation of a series of strange suicides in Southern Chile. The main characters are an [[MarySue impossibly beautiful and talented]] young forensic woman (whom the author calls a "Thanatologist" in one of the worst cases of SeparatedByACommonLanguage in the Spanish language) who has an AmbiguousDisorder and takes medication with vaguely defined and inconsistent effects; a detective with NoSenseOfHumor whose investigative capacities are more of a InformedAbility, and a obnoxious photographer who was intended as a PluckyComicRelief but comes as TheScrappy instead. The [[TownWithADarkSecret location]] reeks of [[ArgentinaIsNaziland Chile is Naziland]], every bad police procedural cliché is played straight, the "mystery" is practically ripped off an ''[[Series/TheXFiles X-Files]]'' filler episode, some of the very tense situations happen in Hanna-Barbera cartoon style (including what may be the worst attempt on playing the ScoobyDoobyDoors for drama), {{Plot Hole}}s abound, and the IdiotBall is played like a volleyball match. All the former and the [[PurpleProse very purple and pretentious writing]] would make the book [[SoBadItsGood hilarious]] in other circumstances, but here they dogpile to slog the text and infuriate the reader. A sequel (named "El Hada de las Cadenas", "The Faerie of Chains") was eventually written and published, but the editorial decided to release it on digital only...however, [[EpicFail Chile is a region where the purchase of digital content isn't very widespread, and eventually it was forgotten.]]
* A book that would've barely been a blip if not for the internet — Janine Cross' '''''Touched By Venom''''' (aka ''The "Venom Cock" Book''). "''Literature/DragonridersOfPern'', ''Literature/{{Gor}}'', and ''Literature/ClanOfTheCaveBear'' get thrown into a blender and topped off with extra helpings of pain and suffering (and sex with dragons)" is the closest one can come up with as a thumbnail sketch for the plot. To the author's credit, she creates a CrapsackWorld and never tries to pretend it's anything but. No WriterOnBoard here. And the two sequels are markedly improved (not ''good'', mind you, but not Horrible) and explain many of the baffling plot points in ''Venom'' - like why a society that worships dragons as divine would use them as pack animals, routinely amputate their wings, and eat their eggs as a staple food. The problem here, aside from this book not standing alone, is that Cross takes FromBadToWorse to [[DeusAngstMachina ludicrous degrees]]: the Dragon Temple screws Zarq's serf enclave out of all their worldly possessions on a technicality? Sell Zarq's sister into [[AFateWorseThanDeath sex slavery]] to buy food and supplies. Mom schemes to get her back? Scheme backfires, resulting in Dad's execution and Mom and Zarq's banishment. (Did we mention Mom's pregnant, and they're kicked out immediately after she gives birth to a son she's not even allowed to hold?) They find refuge in a convent that houses old dragons? Just in time for Mom to drop dead! Then Zarq has to undergo [[{{Gorn}} "circumcision"]] to be considered "clean and holy". The nuns hold fertility rites with the old dragons. And all that occurs in the ''first half of the book''. (And yes, it does get worse — the damage finally spreads to those around Zarq.)
* '''''To Train Up A Child''''', published in 1994, is a parent's guide based on the controversial "Pearl Method" taught by pastor Michael Pearl. Called "a Child abuse manual" by some, this book, among other things, says beating your kids is ok, recommends [[KickTheDog pulling a newborn's hair if they bite you]], lists the best places and what to hit your kids with to avoid leaving bruises, setting a trap for your child and then punishing them for falling for it, and claims [[InsaneTrollLogic if you don't do these things you don't really love your kids]]. The book was lambasted for its heavy religious meddling, and the method has been [[https://www.babble.com/mom/to-train-up-a-child-teaches-punishment-that-kills-kids/ proven to have caused child deaths]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5miNERB1Pe0 Rachel Oates dissects this book in two]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUXgbsSqvoE parts.]]