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* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/daddy-put-in-byebye-box,2411/ Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box]]" Try reading through this with dry eyes
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/mom-really-funny-today,6757/ Mom Really Funny Today]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/stoner-uncle-all-the-kids-favorite,1402/ Stoner Uncle All The Kids' Favorite]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/work-friend-accidentally-becomes-real-friend,17504/ Work Friend Accidentally Becomes Real Friend]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/genuine-love-and-respect-only-thing-holding-area-r,20395/ Genuine Love And Respect Only Thing Holding Area Relationship Together]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/father-only-expresses-love-through-concern-for-pro,4180/ Father Only Expresses Love Through Concern For Proper Tire Inflation]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/lonely-teacher-outcast-student-begin-somewhat-ende,21153/ Lonely Teacher, Outcast Student Begin Somewhat Endearing Sexual Relationship]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-dad-is-a-army-guy-vs-i-am-a-army-guy,17790/ My Dad Is A Army Guy vs. I Am A Army Guy]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/mom-just-called-to-make-sure-youre-not-under-that,30166/ Mom Just Called To Make Sure You're Not Under That Dangling Crane]]" Thanks, Mom!
* The entire post 9/11 issue. The company had just moved to UsefulNotes/NewYorkCity from Madison. They were at a total loss as to what to do, then they decided to come out with one of their most famous issues ever, covering all sorts of reactions. While silly in tone the entire message was "we're feeling it too, but we're going to keep going".
* After the December 14, 2012 Connecticut school shooting: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-it-okay-to-spend-rest-of-day-curled-in-feta,30741/ It Okay to Spend Rest of Day Curled in Fetal Position Under Desk]]".
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-help-him-but-area-man-loves-that-crazy-bitch,2607/ God Help Him, But Area Man Loves That Crazy Bitch]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-dad-proud-of-you-he-wont-say-it-but-its-tru,28564/ Report: Dad Proud of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True]]"
* "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-feel-very-strongly-about-the-issue-of-same-sex-m,31820/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default I Feel Very Strongly About The Issue Of Same Sex Marriage Because I Have A Gay Son]]" by {{God}}.
* "Creator/RogerEbert [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/roger-ebert-hails-human-existence-as-a-triumph,31945/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default Hails Human Existence As 'A Triumph']]", written after the announcement of his passing.
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