A [[MissionFromGod mission from God]]:\\
Use [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome the blues]] to thwart [[ThoseWackyNazis nazis]]\\
and destroy cop cars.

"Illinois nazis\\
I hate illinois nazis"\\
Let's run them over!
->-- [[{{Tropers/Febel99}} Febel99]]

Crowd's getting angry;\\
Band distracts them by playing\\
''Minnie The Moocher''.
->-- [[{{Tropers/Eddurd}} Eddurd]]


'''A Mission From God, as told in Haiku'''

Mom died in childbirth\\
Maybe illegitimate\\
Orphanages suck

Picked up by a cop\\
Another boy abandoned\\
A ward of the state

Elwood taken in\\
By Jake, his new big brother\\
Change their names to “Blues”

Raised by God and nuns\\
A Cath-o-lic upbringing\\
They learn to raise Hell

Brothers not by blood\\
Learned music in a basement\\
Whipped by a Penguin

Black suit and white shirt\\
They too dress like the Penguin\\
But with sunglasses

Like a real father\\
The janitor named Curtis\\
Gave them both some booze

In and out of jail\\
They’re such a disappointment\\
To Sister Mary

Out there in the world\\
They live their lives for music\\
Cheap booze and women

One drove cars too fast\\
The other loved fast women\\
Both broke down easy

Jake lands in the slam\\
Robbed for a room service bill\\
Gun wasn’t loaded

Now the band has split\\
And Elwood trades the Caddy\\
For a microphone

In for three to five\\
He’s out on good behavior\\
Best keep his cot warm

Illinois Nazis\\
They hate Illinois Nazis\\
Run them off a bridge

Nothing but bad luck\\
Elwood was stopped for speeding\\
He knew they had SCMODS

Tries to outrun them\\
No way back to the highway\\
He drives through a mall

Chat with the penguin\\
Need money for back taxes\\
A mission from God

Jake needs just a day\\
She won’t take dirty money\\
Hits them with ruler

Need the cash real fast\\
From God they get the answer\\
Reunite the band

Matt “Guitar” Murphy\\
His old lady is angry\\
She tells him to think

Magictones join too\\
No candy ass monkey suits\\
No Ramada Room

Mr. Fabulous\\
He likes his high paying gig\\
He quits to play horns

With used equipment\\
The band is back together\\
Ray takes IOUs

The fat sound is back\\
It turns goat piss into gas\\
But they need a gig

Country Bob’s Bunker\\
They’ve got Country and Western\\
Both kinds of music

Good Ole Boys are mad\\
They drive a Winnebago\\
Got no union cards

Maury books a gig\\
The Palace Hotel Ballroom\\
The hall is a barn

Quick advertising\\
Out of gas and out of time\\
Elwood makes a date

They’re late for the gig\\
Sabotaging cars they stop\\
Elwood thinks ahead

Can’t get past the cops\\
Go through the ladies bathroom\\
Jake peeks into stalls

Troopers and Nazis\\
Parole officer waits too\\
Orange Whips for three

A few quick numbers\\
They get the cash and escape\\
Bluesmobile awaits

Stood up at the church\\
Jake’s fiancé is angry\\
Now she wants revenge

It wasn’t his fault\\
He was detained by locusts\\
Jake lifts an eyebrow

A full tank of gas\\
Dark, they’re wearing sunglasses\\
Jake tells him “Hit it!”

Back to Chicago\\
Must pay taxes by morning\\
High speed chase ensues

They outrun the law\\
Police cars don’t stand a chance\\
Elwood pulls over

Sweet Home Chicago\\
They’re almost at the courthouse\\
There’s a Picasso

Ask for directions\\
Muzak in elevator\\
Still one step ahead

Blockade door with desk\\
The Assessor’s still at lunch\\
Back in five minutes

SWAT Team has arrived\\
All available units\\
The boys are unarmed

Tax receipt in hand \\
The brothers are arrested\\
Not Elwood’s handcuffs

Orphanage is saved\\
Mission from God completed\\
Can’t pay for lawyers

In and out of jail\\
Revolving door of justice\\
Two recidivists

-> -- [[{{Tropers/JoZPierce}} JoZPierce]]
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