Glasses, a crowbar\\
And a [=PhD=] that he\\
Never gets to use.
->-- [[{{Tropers/Tacitus}} Tacitus]]

I thought I told you\\
No-one goes to Ravenholm\\
You went anyway.
->-- Communist Bob

Quiet protagonist\\
I can see what you did there\\
Checking out her ass.
->-- [[{{Tropers/X-File}} X-File]]

Headcrabs everywhere\\
The only solution here\\
Crowbar them to death.
->-- [[{{Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo}} KingSonnDeeDoo]]

Plot for Half-Life 2\\
Written with many haikus\\
'''Warning of Spoilers'''\\
\\
[[CurbStompBattle Seven hour war]]\\
[[{{Dystopia}} Humanity has fallen]]\\
[[TheHero Freeman]] is our hope\\
\\
A red letter day\\
[[ScenicTourLevel Boarding Nova Prospekt train]]\\
[[RightManInTheWrongPlace Freeman]] [[SleptThroughTheApocalypse has returned]]\\
\\
[[KidnappedByAnAlly Get to Kleiner's lab]]\\
[[EscapeSequence Housing complex is raided]]\\
[[OhCrap Miscount detected]]\\
\\
Get help from [[ActionGirl Alyx]]\\
Decision to leave the city\\
Teleport testing\\
\\
[[TeleporterAccident Teleport gone wrong]]\\
[[GasMaskMooks Civil Protection]] abound\\
Here is your [[WeaponOfChoice crowbar]]\\
\\
Trainyard to canals\\
[[FacelessGoons Combine]] in over their heads\\
[[BadassNormal Gordon]] cuts a swath\\
\\
[[CoolBoat Airboat]] for transport\\
[[SortingAlgorithmOfEvil Resistance is mounting fast]]\\
[[BossBattle Hunter Chopper down]]\\
\\
[[ExpositionBreak Safety finally]]\\
Made it to Black Mesa East\\
[[BadassBookworm Freeman]] gets [[WreakingHavok The Gun]]\\
\\
Combine sneak attack\\
[[InvoluntaryGroupSplit Tunnel collapse cuts you off]]\\
Go through [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace Ravenholm]]\\
\\
[[OurZombiesAreDifferent Zombies]] are coming\\
Once more, [[SilentProtagonist Gordon]] cuts a swath\\
"To the mine, brother!"\\
\\
[[CorridorCubbyholeRun Ascending from hell]]\\
Dodge the [[LaserSight snipers]] and soldiers\\
Winston has gone down\\
\\
Catching a breather\\
Alyx relays the bad news\\
Eli was captured\\
\\
Take the [[CoolCar dune buggy]]\\
Station Six to Lighthouse Point\\
[[HeroicMime Freeman]] is coming\\
\\
Highway Seventeen\\
Barricades and ambushes\\
Break through to freedom\\
\\
[[VideoGameCrueltyPotential Pin guard to billboard]]\\
Shut down the [[ForceFieldDoor force field]] power\\
Climb under the bridge\\
\\
Arrive at Lighthouse\\
[[AutobotsRockOut Repel the the Combine attack]]\\
Enter the Sandtraps\\
\\
[[LivingMotionDetector Stay off of the sand]]\\
Vibrations drive [[InsectoidAliens them]] crazy\\
[[BullfightBoss Antlion Guard]] fight\\
\\
Finish off the Guard\\
Vortigaunt gets pheremones\\
[[PlayerMooks You control the bugs]]\\
\\
Storming the prison\\
Infiltrate [[ForebodingArchitecture Nova Prospekt]]\\
[[MoreExpendableThanYou Antlions distract]]\\
\\
Meet up with Alyx\\
[[HoldTheLine Stand-offs with auto-turrets]]\\
Locate Eli's pod\\
\\
Find Doctor Mossman\\
[[HeelFaceTurn Confront her]] and [[EnemyMine recruit her]]\\
Prepare teleport\\
\\
Mossman [[FaceHeelTurn betrays you]]\\
Eli is taken with her\\
Escape just in time\\
\\
Appear in the lab\\
[[YearOutsideHourInside You have been gone for a week]]\\
[[UrbanWarfare Fighting in the streets]]\\
\\
Into the firefight\\
[[MagneticHero Rally the rebels to you]]\\
Follow the [[CrowbarCombatant Freeman]]\\
\\
Snipers all over\\
Short sprints into the building\\
Say hi to Barney\\
\\
Kill all the snipers\\
Bring down the suppression gun\\
[[FinalBattle Enter the Striders]]\\
\\
[[{{Badass}} Freeman]] has triumphed\\
[[RobotBuddy D0G]] opens the way inside\\
[[MadeOfIron The Freeman]] [[StormingTheCastle descends]]\\
\\
Ride in on a pod\\
[[NiceJobFixingItVillain Security malfunction]]\\
[[EleventhHourSuperpower The Gun becomes Death]]\\
\\
[[GrievousHarmWithABody Blast through the soldiers]]\\
[[OneManArmy Gordon]] is unstoppable\\
Take a pod upwards\\
\\
Captured by Combine\\
[[CorruptCorporateExecutive Breen]] [[SmugSnake gloats over his captives]]\\
[[HeelFaceRevolvingDoor Mossman threatens him]]\\
\\
Breen panics and fires\\
The Gun destroys your prison\\
[[ActionDuo The duo]] gives chase\\
\\
Interrupt a call\\
Breen flees and leaves you The Gun\\
[[TooDumbToLive Too stupid to live]]\\
\\
[[ClimbingClimax Climb the reactor]]\\
Destroy [[EverythingsBetterWithSpinning vital components]]\\
Breen is defeated\\
\\
"Great job there [[HeroicNeutral Gordon!]]\\
[[GoingCritical We have to get out of here]]\\
Maybe we still [[TimeStandsStill have-]]"\\
\\
''[[AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLABle "Time, Doctor Freeman?"]]''\\
G-Man puts you in [[SealedBadassInACan stasis]] \\
[[CliffHanger Rest until next time]]
->-- [[{{Tropers/dystopianScion}} dystopianScion]]

“We’ll see about that,”\\
Says the man with the brief case.\\
Vortigaunts are cool.\\
\\
Crowbar always pwns\\
Various parasitic\\
Zombifying crabs.\\
\\
Grandchildren, he wants.\\
You’re busy fighting Combine.\\
[[spoiler:Too bad he dies first.]]
->-- [[{{Tropers/Bespectacled}} bespectacled]]
----