!!The Film
* The commentary on Bond's evident death by sex in the film's introduction. It also counts as a TearJerker.
-->Well, at least he died on the job... he would have wanted it that way.
* Globetrotting sex machine Bond ''complaining'' about the imminent sex encounter.
-->[[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland The things I do for England...]]
* "It can save your life, this cigarette." It does.
** Following the above line, Bond quips that Tanaka sounds like a commercial.
* This exchange between Bond and Tanaka, after Tanaka introduces himself.
--> '''Bond''': But if you are Tanaka, [[SpySpeak then how do you feel about me?]]
--> '''Tanaka''': I...[[HoYay Love you.]]
--> '''Bond''': [[DeadpanSnarker Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.]]
** Earlier, when Moneypenny give Bond the password, she coyly tries to get him to repeat it back to her. You know, to make sure he's got it...
* Bond and Helga after the Kobe Docks fight
-->'''Helga:''' "I got you."
-->'''Bond:''' "Well, enjoy yourself."
** She slaps his face.
* "Siamese vodka?!"
* Bond defending his CarpetOfVirility against "Tiger" Tanaka's observation:
-->'''"Tiger" Tanaka:''' "I suppose you know what it is about you that fascinates them. It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin."
-->'''Bond:''' "Japanese proverb say: 'Bird never make nest in bare tree'."
* Bond's report after Little Nellie's encounter with SPECTRE gunships.
-->'''Bond:''' "Little Nellie got a hot reception. Four bigshots made improper advances towards her, but she defended her honor with great success."
* This line, combined with [[BuxomBeautyStandard the visuals]]:
-->'''Helga:''' "Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest."
-->'''Bond:''' "Really?"
* When the bad guys' car is captured by the helicopter, the driver frantically ''keeps trying to steer'' even though the car's in midair.
-->'''Tanaka''': How's that for Japanese efficiency?
-->'''Bond''': Just a drop in the ocean.
* How can we forget the poor [[RightHandCat Blofeld's cat]] [[FunnyBackgroundEvent who was dead scared]] when Blofeld's base began to explode?

!!The Novel
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