* There's nothing wrong with a good squint. Looks good on a witch.
-->"But you have to know how to use it," said Nanny Ogg. "Old Gertie Simmons used to have a squint and she was always putting the evil influence on the end of her own nose. You can't have people thinkin' that if you upsets a witch she curses and mutters and then her own nose drops off."
* Whenever Nanny tries to talk in foreign languages.
* Nanny knows how to ''start'' spelling 'banana', but not how to stop. Thus: 'banananana.'
* Granny and Nanny meet Mrs. Gogol and her black cockerel, Legba.
-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' That's the biggest cock I ever did see, and I seen a lot of them.
-->(''{{beat}}'')
-->'''Granny Weatherwax:''' She ain't never had no proper upbringing.
-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' ''Growing up next to a chicken farm'' is what I was about to say!
* Granny being angry at an alligator, which just ate her hat. She then proceeds to WhipItGood. With a ''snake''. It's hard not imagining it going pleading-puppy-eyed at her, begging to be let go.
* No vampires have ever risen from the ''cat''.
* Almost any time the Duc's title comes up, because the witches think it's pronounced "duck". There's this prince, who's a duck, who's really a frog...