!!{{Literature/Wicked}} (the book)

* When poor Boq confesses his feelings to Galinda, and Elphaba is snarking at him the whole way for sounding rehearsed. Galinda scolds her, while at the same point ripping on Boq with "Let me consider his stupid idea", while ''he's still sitting right there''.
* When Fiyero asks Glinda if she has children.
--> "Chuffrey is dry as two baked walnuts."

!!{{Theatre/Wicked}} (the musical)

* Glinda's SugarWiki/CrowningMomentOfAwesome
--> '''Glinda''': You heard me! (while gesturing arms to spell C-P-T-V-T) Captivity!
* Another point for her would be:
--> '''Galinda''': And he's been thinking, which really worries me.
** Which is followed by
--->'''Fiyero''': Uh, listen, I've been thinking...\\
'''Elphaba''': Yes, I've heard.
* Damn near everything said by G(a)linda because it was written for Kristin Chenoweth and she's always adorably hilarious. Such as the following:
--> '''Galinda''': Doctor Dillamond, why do you keep talking to us about the past? You're supposed to be teaching us history.\\
''(Everyone, especially Elphaba, give her a long look.)''
* The following exchange between Elphie and Glinda that leads to a {{Catfight}}:
-->'''Glinda''': What exactly have you been doing besides riding around on that filthy old thing!?\\
'''Elphaba''': Well we can't ''all'' come and go by ''bubble''! Whose invention was that? The Wizard's? Of course. Even if it wasn't, I'm sure he'd still take credit for it.\\
'''Glinda''': Well, [[LoveTriangle a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we]]?\\
'''Elphaba''': Oh ho. Now wait just a clock tick! I know that it is difficult for that [[DumbBlonde blissful blonde brain of yours to comprehend]] that someone like him could actually ''choose'' someone like me! But it's happened, it's real, and you can wave that ridiculous little wand of yours all you want, you can't change it! He doesn't belong to you, he doesn't love you, and he never did! He loves me!\\
(''Glinda smacks Elpheba'')\\
'''Elphaba''':...[[EvilLaugh AHHH HA HA HA HA HA!!!]] Feel better now?\\
'''Glinda''': Yes I do!\\
'''Elphaba''': Good. (''smacks Glinda'') So do I!\\
(''CatFight ensues, complete with Glinda [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing swinging her wand around like a weapon]] until the Ozian guards break it up'')\\
'''Glinda''': [[LetMeAtHim LET ME GO I ALMOST HAD HER]]!!!
** Especially hilarious when watching the original cast with Creator/KristinChenoweth's Glinda as Kristin is ''[[TheNapoleon the tiniest of people]]''... who is whirling her staff around like a weapon.
* A few seconds later, Fiyero literally (at least in some productions) comes swinging onto the scene, screaming "LET THE GREEN GIRL GO!". He's swinging on a vine ''in a cornfield''. Even Glinda's confused by this.
* In some productions, Fiyero is apparently short on rifles, so his bluff-threat of Glinda is done with...a broomstick.
* Galinda says "Something's wrong...I didn't get my way..." before nearly fainting.
* "It's SHOES, Elphaba. Let GO, already." Considering how dark the scene is, and what it's regarding... absolutely HILARIOUS!
** In some adaptations, Glinda does actually just say 'Let it go!' in this scene. It's even more hilarious with the ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'' parallels in place.
** And for further hilarity, at one point Savannah Stevenson actually turned that part into a ShoutOut to Frozen ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzGeniwUpQc by singing the line]]''.
*** This was during Willemijn Verkaik's final matinee - she voiced Elsa in the German and Dutch dubs.
* This line:
-->'''Galinda''': Now, let's tell each other a secret that we've never told anyone before! Fiyero and I are getting married!''(in some productions, proceeds to slam her face into her pillow and scream very loudly)''\\
'''Elphaba''': He's asked you already?\\
'''Galinda''': ''(gleefully)'' Oh, he doesn't know yet!
* From the song "What Is This Feeling?":
-->'''Both''': There's been some confusion\\
Over rooming here at Shiz:\\
'''Elphaba''': But of course, I'll care for Nessa.\\
'''Galinda''': But of course, I'll rise above it.\\
'''Both''': For I know that's how you'd want me to respond.\\
''(Spoken:)'' Yes\\
There's been some confusion\\
For you see, my roommate is--\\
'''Galinda''': Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe--\\
'''Elphaba''': [[DumbBlonde Blonde]].
** Also, the opening from "What Is This Feeling?"
-->'''Galinda''': (''bubbly'') Dearest darling Momsie and Popsicle...
-->'''Elphaba''': (''deadpan'') Dear father...
* Almost the entirety of "Popular". "La la, laa-aa, laaaaa!" For certain the moment when Galinda tries to use her new wand to turn Elphaba's frock into a "pretty ball gown".
-->'''Galinda''': *ahem* ''(in a lilting, fairy-like voice)'' Ball gown. *nothing happens* *ahem* ''(In a decidedly LESS fairy-like voice)'' BALL GOWN!!!''(shakes wand)'' "Is this thing on?" ''(tosses wand aside)'' "Wear the frock, it's pretty!"
* This little gem:
-->'''Fiyero:''' You think I'm really stupid, don't you?\\
'''Elphaba:''' No, not ''really'' stupid.
* Nessa's hand gestures (indicating shortness) when mentioning Boq during "Dancing Through Life".
* During Popular: "[[ReadingTheStageDirectionsOutLoud Toss-toss]]". This usually leads to {{Corpsing}} from both actresses.
** In addition to this, in Creator/KristinChenoweth's final performance as Glinda, she throws in a little surprise for everyone, including most of the backstage crew, in the form of a book called "How to be Popular"! She had IdinaMenzel in stitches, and somehow managed to keep a straight face through it all! Can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUOiios1J6o
* Glinda introducing herself to the Wizard.
-->'''Glinda:''' My name is Glinda, the "uh" is silent.\\
''(Wizard gives an extremely bewildered look)''
* This little gem, which doubles as a [[TakeThat Take That]]:
-->'''Wizard''': Where I come from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. ''*{{beat}}*'' We call it history.
* When you put "Defying Gravity" through Google Translate, you get "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_Zt8zdxCPg&index=14&list=UUP2-S6-M9ZvlY8t7cRn4O6A Ignoring Gravity]]".
* Kyle Dean Massey tells the story [[http://youtu.be/MgSsV0LRBV4]] of one incident while playing Fiyero where a touring production of Wicked had done something that accidentally left either oil or grease on the floor. Unfortunately during the scene where Fiyero and Elphaba run into the field after rescuing the Lion Cub, Kyle slipped, crashed, and the cage broke open displaying the mangled puppet to the audience. The funny part? The slip happened between two very specific lines, and Kyle couldn't think of anything else to say other than the scripted line.
-->'''Elphaba:''' Don't shake him!\\
''(Fiyero crashes and breaks open the cage)''\\
'''Fiyero''': I'm not.
* In the intro of the stage production, Glinda repeatedly [[ButNowIMustGo tries to float away]] in her bubble (which is of course physically suspended from the ceiling of the stage by some means or another), only for the Ozians to ask her yet another question, forcing her to come back down. Finally, someone asks her if it's true she and the Wicked Witch were friends. After a long {{beat}}, Glinda [[BreakingTheFourthWall motions for the stage hands to lower her back down yet again.]]
* This little ShoutOut:
-->'''Nessarose''': Mmm... What's in the punch?\\
'''Boq''': Lemons and melons and pears.\\
'''Nessarose''': Oh my!
** Similarly, this when Elphie arrives at the Governor's office to see Nessarose.
-->'''Nessarose:''' What are you doing here?\\
'''Elphaba:''' Well, there's no place like home.
** And a BlackComedy example:
-->'''Nessarose:''' (''to Boq as he's trying to leave'') Did you really think I'd let you leave me here ''flat!?''
* Fiyero delivers this weird little gem:
-->'''Fiyero''': There's no pretense here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.
* Elphaba's little "Boo!" at the end of "What Is This Feeling?"
* The Wizard makes his machine do a really funny jaw drop and eyebrow raise when he accidentally acts intimidating towards Elphaba and Galinda, only for them to reveal themselves.
* From the German-language production in Stuttgart: the scene where Fiyero laughs at Elphaba for having been Galinda-fied. Doesn't sound remarkable? Well. When Fiyero - the ultra-masculine Mark Seibert - imitates the "TOSS TOSS!", the sound that came out of his mouth is so high he legitimately sounds like a girl. Like ''Galinda''. [[https://pxrfectfall.tumblr.com/post/159426714838/i-didnt-expect-this-sound-to-come-out-of-marks Enjoy.]] Plus, the full-body fling, in comparison to his much more restrained colleagues (Anton Zetterholm, for example).
* Glinda distracts from Fiyero's doubts about people's beliefs about Elphaba, or the Wicked Witch...
-->'''Fiyero''': Do you hear that? Water will melt her? People are so empty-headed, they'll believe anything. (''stalks off'')
-->'''Glinda''': Fiyero! Oh, yes. Thanks plenty, dearest. He's gone to fetch me a refreshment. He's so thoughtful that way! ''That's why I couldn't be happier...'''
* "The Wizard and I" contains some lines that are clearly intended as ironically amusing, given what we're told at the beginning of the play and what we likely already know coming in...
-->I know - it sounds truly crazy
-->And true, the vision's hazy
-->But I swear, someday there'll be
-->A celebration throughout Oz
-->That's all to do with me!
-->And I'll stand there with the Wizard
-->Feeling things I've never felt
-->And though I'd never show it
-->I'll be so happy, I could melt!
* This entire conversation.
-->'''Fiyero:''' Why is it that every time I see you you’re causing some sort of commotion?
-->'''Elphaba:''' I don’t cause commotions, I am one!
-->'''Fiyero:''' That’s for sure.
-->'''Elphaba:''' So you think I should just keep my mouth shut, is that what you’re saying?!
-->'''Fiyero:''' No! What I’m saying—
-->'''Elphaba:''' Do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I want to care this much?
-->'''Fiyero:''' Look, all I meant was—
-->'''Elphaba:''' Do you think I don’t know how easier my life would be if I didn’t?
-->'''Fiyero:''' Do you ever let anybody else talk?
-->'''Elphaba:''' Oh, sorry. ''(Fiyero tries to speak again, gets interrupted by Elphaba)'' But can I say one more thing?