* "Maybe he doesn't answer to Chuck, call him Charles. Charles!"
* The Exxon Valdez's oil reserve tankman's reaction when he sees the flare the Mariner dropped down a pipe is about to land in a pool of oil in the reserve.
--->'''Oil Reserve Tankman:''' [[DeathSeeker Oh thank god.]]
* When Helen asks about '''FOOD!!!'''
--> '''Deacon:''' Y'ever talk to anyone about that mark on your back? Like, say, your mom, your little friends... Maybe your pet fish?
--> '''Enola:''' Don't call him that. He doesn't like it.
--> '''Deacon:''' I don't give a shit ''what'' he likes! He took out my eye!
--> '''Enola:''' He'll come for me, he will.
--> '''Deacon:''' Well, I hope so. 'Cuz if he does, I'm gonna cut open his head, and I'm gonna '''EAT HIS BRAIN!''' ...You think he'd like ''that?''
* "Well, I'll be, it's the gentleman guppy. Y'know, he is like a turd that won't ''flush!''"
* "My boat."
* "Well, that made a hole."