* After the English (Collin) and German (Peter) soldiers meet in no-man's-land, Collin tries to compliment Peter's English:
---> Collin: You speak good English.
---> Peter: I speak English well.
** From the same scene, after a coin flip: "I see the face of my Kaiser. He is not pleased with me right now."
** Also, the response Peter gets when he asks for more wire cutters.
** In the play version, they don't even speak a common language, so they stumble and pantomime through the scene, which is capped off with the allied soldier proclaiming ([[LargeHam quite passionately]]) that: "There would be a lot less cryin' widows in the world if blokes would just talk to each other like you and I have!" The german soldier is very confused, and simply extends his hand and gives his name as Manfred. To which the allied soldier responds: "Same to you!"
* The comparison between Italian food and Italian women.
* The French girl trying to teach Joey to leap.
** In the play, her acting like a {{Drill Sergeant Nasty}} to an actual German soldier.
* The goose trying to get in the house at every opportunity. And also chasing the Landlord out the gate.
* The English and Germans in their respective trenches - both sides trying to call Joey to them [[spoiler:before they realize he is tangled up in barbed wire]].
---> '''English soldier''': How do you call a horse?
---> '''Another English soldier''': *begins clicking his teeth*
---> '''Entire English line''': *begin clicking their teeth*
---> '''German soldiers''': *look at each other in confusion*
---> '''Entire German line''': *begin whistling*
* Albert trying to impress a pretty girl riding in the car driven by his landlord's son. He and Joey manage to outrace them but when Albert tries to get him to jump over a stone wall, Joey stops short and Albert falls off. He looks up at Joey and says resignedly "Well you're clearly not going to be a jumper."
* Lt. Waverly being proud of his new silk cap:
-->'''Lt. Waverly:''' ''(admiring himself in the mirror)'' Silk lining. I quite like it.
-->'''Cpt. Nicholls:''' I'm not sure it's going to make a lot of difference to the Germans.
-->'''Waverly:''' Oh, I don't know about that. Think about it. You're a Boche, just working out which of two chaps to shoot and you thought - "Good Lord - one of them really is wearing a very stylish cap indeed!" You might shoot the other one instead.
-->'''Nicholls:''' Or, alternatively, think - "I fancy that cap" and kill you first of all.\\
''(Waverly removes his cap)''