The movie:

* The one-strap/two-strap backpack thing.
* "You have the right to...to suck my ''dick'', motherfucker!"
** "I did read him his rights. I did a version of that."
* Captain Dickson's rant about being an AngryBlackMan stereotype.
** Pretty much everything he says is hysterical.
* Jenko messing with Schmidt during his phone call.
* Schmidt's DelayedReaction to getting stabbed during a fight.
-->"When did I get stabbed?"
* Jenko's chemistry quiz.
-->Question: How is a covalent bond different from an ionic bond?
--->a) YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
--->b) NO, I'M NOT.
--->c) YEAH YOU ARE, DUMBASS.
--->d) FUCK YOU, QUIZ.
* After taking HFS, Jenko returns to class and writes on the whiteboard, while high.
-->"One particle of {{Unobtanium}} has a nuclear reaction with a [[Film/BackToTheFuture flux capacitor]]; carry the 2, changing its atomic isotoner into a [[SpiderMan radioactive spider]]!" *turns around, revealing he's written the number 4 all over the whiteboard* "Fuck you, science!"
** The shot during the credits is equally funny, where instead he just wrote the word "BOOBS" in gigantic letters.
* The car chase which Lampshades the EveryCarIsAPinto trope throughly.
* [[spoiler: The coach getting his dick shot off and [[{{Squick}} trying to pick it up with his teeth]]]]
* Schmidt and Jenko getting high.
** Or more importantly the screen cap for the last stage of "FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!" to whomever is on the stuff.
* "We weren't fingah-poppin' each otha's eessho's"
* After Schmidt and Jenko throw a wild house party at Schmidt's parents' house as part of their cover, Mrs. Schmidt completely freaks out at them; at one point during her rant, she states that "I used to party with RobertDowneyJr. ''before'' he got sober! When he was REALLY fucked up! And FUN!"
* Schmidt praying to Korean Jesus for help and getting yelled at by Dickson for wasting Korean Jesus' time.
* "HAVE SOME FAIRY DUST MOTHERFUCKER!"
* The "ZZ Top" biker [[spoiler:turns out to be Hanson, played by JohnnyDepp himself!]]
* Schmidt and Molly walk in on a girl-boy-girl threesome, with the guy in the middle. When they walk out, Molly starts laughing and asks, "What was the girl in the back doing?"