* Buzz earnestly explains to Woody his role in saving Earth, basically as R2-D2 in ''[[StarWars A New Hope]]''. His voice and the music build dramatically, then:
-->'''Buzz''': And ''you'', my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!\\
'''Woody''': '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis You! Are! A! TOOOOOOOY!]]''''' You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you... you're an action figure! You are ''a child's plaything!''\\
'''Buzz''': You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. Farewell.\\
'''Woody:''' Oh yeah? Well, good riddance, ya looney!
** Double-funny for doing the [[Franchise/StarTrek Vulcan salute]] along with "Farewell".
** Made even funnier by Woody maintaining a "WTF" look throughout Buzz's story until he finally snaps.
*** When ''Toy Story 3'' was knocked off of its 100 rotten tomatoes review level by two contrinarians who gave bad reviews because they wanted to be contrary, the director responded by tweeting ''"You are sad, strange little men, and you have my pity."''
* "Don't you get it?! You see the hat?! I am ''Mrs. Nesbit!''" Somehow, Woody matter-of-factly [[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan smacking Buzz to his senses]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice with his own dismembered arm]] makes it even funnier.
** Then there's the squeaky noise Buzz's head makes...
*** Buzz, looking all calm, says Woody's right and walks off to get it together.
-->"Oh, I'm a sham! Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!"
** Though it's also a bit sad since it shows how awful his HeroicBSOD is, it's hard not to start laughing when Woody turns to look for Buzz and finds him swinging his own arm through the air making airplane noises, then crashing it into the ground.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46rIWEgmmQk "Look! I'm Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy!"]]
** Best of all, it's a ShoutOut to a ''FarSide'' strip!
* "Okay, [[ParentalBonus Mr. LightBeer]], prove it!"
** A few minutes later in the film, Woody calls him [[AccidentalMisnaming "LightSnack"]].
* Look at Mr. Potato Head and Mr. Spell during Woody's speech in the beginning.
* Every other line of Mr. Potato Head's. "[[IdiotBall Did you all take stupid pills this morning?]]"
** Ditto for Hamm. "Oh for crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot!"
* Mr. Potato Head and Hamm play ''Battleship,'' especially when you notice Potato has called every spot on Hamm's grid ''except the ones where his ships are.''
** And Hamm has done exactly the opposite, having not missed once. Considering that out of the 100 squares on a typical Battleship grid, 17 of them will be occupied by ships and 83 aren't, it's anyone's guess how they managed that.
* Woody miming friendship with Buzz's arm.
** And before that:
-->'''Woody:''' Buzz, could you give me a hand?
-->'''Buzz:''' (Throws his arm at Woody)
-->'''Woody:''' Aha...that's very funny, Buzz THISISSERIOUS!
* "I don't believe that man's ''ever'' been to medical school."
** [[CaptainObvious You think?]]
* Woody laughing at Buzz's delusions.
-->'''Woody:''' Hey guys, look, its the ''real'' Buzz Lightyear!
-->'''Buzz:''' You're mocking me, aren't you?
-->'''Woody:''' Oh, no no... BUZZ LOOK AN ALIEN!!!
-->'''Buzz:''' Where?! ''[Woody laughs hysterically]''
* Buzz's complete freakout when his helmet is open, coupled with Woody's reaction.
* This exchange:
--> '''Buzz''': I believe the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger".
--> '''Woody''': The word I'm searching for, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar I can't say, because there's preschool toys present.]]
* In Toy Story Treats, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIhV3NzolS8 "Roadblock."]] It's just such a horrible joke, and Woody makes such a stupid face...
** Speaking of which, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXLNBM-iWwA Buzz had mad shadow puppetry skills.]]
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZR-HrKfAD4 "Sky Runner Buzz! It really flies!"]] It's sad and hilarious at the same time, how does that work?
*** Wait, [[VideoGame/EarthBound ''Sky Runner'']] Buzz?
---->'''Rex:''' Hey! A dinosaur documentary! Maybe this one will have a happy ending!
---->'''Hamm:''' Annnd there's the meteor.
* Rex's response when Slinky asks him if he believes Woody is innocent:
--> '''Rex:''' I don't like confrontations!
** Even [[WordOfGod Lasseter and co.]] agree this is Rex's funniest line on the DVD commentary.
* During Woody's encouragement to snap Buzz out of his depression after the realization he's not a space ranger...
--> '''Woody:''' Your helmet does that, that-that...WOOSH thing!
* This exchange right at the beginning of the movie:
--> '''Mr. Potato Head''' ''[is turned away from the camera]'' Hey, look at me! ''[turns around, revealing that he has rearranged his face]'' I'm Potasso!
--> '''Hamm''' I don't get it. ''[walks away]''
--> '''Mr. Potato Head''' ''[at Hamm]'' You uncultured swine!
** "What are ''you'' lookin' at, ya hockey puck?" Camera turns to... a hockey puck, with arms and legs, which shrugs in a "What?" fashion.
* The scene where Buzz and Woody stow away on the Pizza Planet truck.
* '''Woody:''' (Grabbing Buzz and repeatedly pushing a button that makes his arm go up and down) Use your karate chop action!
--> '''Buzz:''' Hey, hey, how are you doing that!?
* [[SarcasmMode "Great, so if anyone attacks us]] [[DeadpanSnarker we can blink 'em to death."]]
* Buzz explains to Woody that revenge is something that isn't encouraged on his planet... then clarifies that they're not on his planet to which Woody responds with an OhCrap face and saying LittleNo.
** And it's right after Woody was happy to see Buzz is alright and is confident that Buzz will tell the other toys it was a freak accident.
* When the toys are finding out what Andy got for his birthday.
--> '''Green Army Soldier:''' Okay, it's bedsheets.
--> '''Mr. Potato Head:''' Who invited THAT kid?
* Sid sleep-talking: "I wanna ride the pony."
* Woody tries to get Buzz to follow him back to Andy's by convincing him that he's found a "spaceship" to take him home:
-->'''Woody''': It's a special spaceship! I just saw it!\\
'''Buzz (excited)''': You mean it has hyperdrive?\\
'''Woody''': Hyper''active'' hyperdrive! And astro...uh...''turf''!