[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Fan Fiction Friday ]]

* The [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Tohts]] in Fan Fiction Friday.
* This gem of a line from the ComicsNix classic tale of star-crossed lovers [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/06/fan_fiction_friday_optimus_prime_and_princess_leia.php Optimus Prime and Princess Leia about Optimus's anus]], which R2-D2 enters...''yes, really'': ''"A beautifully adorned rectum, full of portraits of Prime's human friends that already visited the place."''
** Followed up with Rob's later comments: (when discussing R2's motivations) ''"Am I concentrating on this in a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that Optimus Prime's asshole is apparently the happiest, most beautiful place in the universe? POSSIBLY."''
** Rob on the fact that Jabba owns Jar-Jar Bink's severed, carbon frozen penis: ''"I'm beginning to feel that Jabba has some issues."''
** ''"OPTIMUS PRIME HAS DISNEYLAND IN HIS ASS, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT"''
** ''"Leia, your leather clad bikini lighten up my boron buttocks!"''
** ''That penis was the property of a long dead alien. Jar Jar Binks to be more exact.''
*** '''''*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*''''' ("I think only four Head Explodes at this news shows a remarkable amount of restraint on my part.")
** "If you’re at all troubled by the fact that Luke Skywalker apparently has a cellphone in this story, YOU ARE WORRYING ABOUT THE WRONG THINGS."
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/05/fan_fiction_friday_lara_croft_tomb_raider_in_a_rap.php *whickers*]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/10/fan_fiction_friday_yoda_in_yoda_and_tequila.php Yoda and Tequila]]. All of it.
* Rob's response to a line about a baton stuck up [[VideoGame/ParappaTheRapper Parappa's]] rear end [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/08/fan_fiction_friday_parappa_the_rapper_in_parappa_t.php#more in this FFF]]:
-->'''"Fic":''' CHAPTER 3 MEANWILE suny was at police car wit Parapa and say "woooooooow it really in their like a sord in a stone! how we get it out"?
-->'''Rob:''' WE MUST FIND THE TRUE KING OF ENGLAND
* Rob's reaction to the infamously SickAndWrong fic ''[[http://www.therobotsvoice.com/2011/07/fan_fiction_friday_sailor_moon_and_the_sailor_scou.php ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday]]'':
--> '''Fic''': "I should go first, I'm her mother!
--> '''Rob''': *Toht*
--> ---
--> '''Fic''': "Chibiusa, you're a bit too tender for anything vaginal, so I'm goingto push this banana up your asshole.",
--> '''Rob''': *''Scanners'' head*
* Rob taking on an incomprehensible MindScrew of a Series/SavedByTheBell [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/03/fan_fiction_friday_zack_morris_in_the_one_gigantic.php#more fic]].
* The thoroughly disturbing [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/04/fan_fiction_friday_rebecca_and_briannas_redacted_a.php Rebecca and Brianna's [REDACTED] Adventure]] original character fic, which so horrified Rob that the ending earned ''eight'' Scanners pictures.
* One particularly unsettling story (listed on the site under the heading "???") was summed up by Rob's fantastic line: [[spoiler: "''When chickens purr in an erotic fan fic, you know bad shit is about to go down.''" ]]
** It really says a lot that, after a certain point, a majority of Rob's commentary [[spoiler:devolves into just posting the [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk melting face picture]] repeatedly]].
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/10/fan_fiction_friday_jaden_from_yu-gi-oh_gx_in_jaden.php "INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE GODDAMN PUMPS, FUCKSTICK."]]
* The complete and total [[CrackFic insanity]] of Fanfic/GarfieldRoyalRescue [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/04/fan_fiction_friday_prince_william_kate_middleton_a.php 1]] [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/11/fan_fiction_friday_garfield_prince_of_tragedy_in_r.php and 2]].
** Especially the song "Love is Lasagna"
--->'''Rob''': WARNING: WHAT FOLLOWS IS THE LYRICS TO A SONG TITLED "LOVE IS LASAGNA" AS WRITTEN BY GARFIELD. PLEASE HOLD ALL HEAD ASPLOSIONS UNTIL THE END OF THE PERFORMANCE.
--->'''Fic''': "Oh Babe when I see your eyes / It is making my pants rise / The feeling is out of control / From my lovin there is no parole / Love Is Lasagna / Food that is Feeding my soul / Love Is Lasagna / It is not no casserole / Oh Babe I am at the end of my ropes / I want to taste your sweet cantaloupes / Your body is buffet of desire / In bedroom I will never tire / Love is Lasagna / We will be melting like Mozzarella cheese / Love is Lasagna / My appetite only you can appease / Oh babe you are delicious like lasagna feast / I will devour your body whole like beast / Lonely Man Walking Lonely Path Alone / Now we are together all night we will moan / Love is Lasagna / One serving is never enough / Love is Lasagna / You are knowing I like it rough / Love is Lasagna / Soft and gooey give me one more slice / Love is Lasagna / I will be taking you to paradise
---> '''Rob''': *10Head Asplodes*
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/01/fan_fiction_friday_my_little_ponies_in_mares_milk.php "Kids come running for the great taste of Tits!"]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/03/fan_fiction_friday_bruce_wayne_and_dick_grayson_in.php "BATMAN JUST TALKED TO HIS OWN DICK."]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/03/fan_fiction_friday_thomas_the_tank_engine_in_tensi.php "Now imagine it covered in vaginal lubricant. IF I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT YOU DO TOO"]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/04/fan_fiction_friday_progressive_flo_in_a_new_type_o.php "Oooorrrrgggghhhh!"]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/04/fan_fiction_friday_the_frog_prince_1.php "Um, yeah. There's nothing quite as erotic as rubbing your dick on a pile of rocks. Why, I can't walk down a cobbled road without wanting to drop to the ground and start humping it."]]
* The entirety of Rob's reactions throughout "[[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/04/fan_fiction_friday_starscream_and_megatron_in_the.php The Miracle Of Life]]", including "This is happening", and his reaction to [[spoiler:Starscream's caesarean section]].
** Also funny: the author saw the review (as have other fanfic writers when Rob covered their works) and was very passive-aggressive and miffed. Because lord knows the right one in this equation was the guy who made Starscream pregnant.
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/05/fan_fiction_friday_fievel_from_american_tail_in_th.php The utter insanity of what Rob calls "The Fievel Story."]]
** [[{{ComicBook/Darkseid}} THIS IS THE ANTI-LIFE EQUATION]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/07/fan_fiction_friday_darth_vader_and_harry_potter_in.php "DARTH VADER JUST BLUSHED. ... FUCKING THINK ABOUT THAT."]]
* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/10/fan_fiction_friday_elliott_and_et_in_coming_back_t.php#more "Coming Back to Me]] is a goldmine of hilarious Rob reactions.
** ''Ahem. (screams incoherently)''
** WHEN WILL DEATH COME
** THERE IS NO GOD
** OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS A MENTAL THREESOME INVOLVING ELLIOTT, E.T. AND A FLOWER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
** ''Ahem.'' '''[[spoiler:[[SerialEscalation NUCLEAR EXPLOSION]]]]'''

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Comments ]]

* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/12/super_teriffic_japanese_thing_eva_eros_20_ona-hole.php#comment-11952663 This exchange]] between resident [[NightmareFuelStationAttendant Nightmare Fuel Station Attendants]] Abraxas and Sango.
--> Abraxas: ''"my god, it's full of cock, wait, no... [[Advertising/TheManYourManCouldSmellLike look at my onahole. now look at your]] [[Film/{{Avatar}} Na'Vi]] [[Advertising/TheManYourManCouldSmellLike flesh light. sadly, it's not an onahole. but it could be if you were fucking the space taken up by Neytiri. look up. now down. you're in Rob's basement. he's having fun with the onahole you could be having if your Na'Vi fleshlight where an onahole. what's in my hand? it's a cum filled ruler you can make of your cum if you used an onahole and not a triagonal vajayjay. anything is possible with your onahole.... now with 400% pleasure satisfaction plus]]"''
--> Sango: ''"He is on a Direhorse. Or rather, IN a Direhorse."''
--> Abraxas: ''"look again. the direhorse is now a xildo"'' ([[Franchise/{{Alien}} xenomorph]] dildo)
--> Sango: ''"Look again. That Xildo is now DIAMONDS"''
--> Abraxas: ''"Anything is possible when you use an onehole."''
--> Sango: ''*whistles to the tune of Rob's weekly screaming fits*''
** [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/02/finally_carinsuranceorg_takes_on_the_decepticons.php#comment-12085562 This exchange]] between them is also brilliant:
---> Abraxas: ''"where are [[Franchise/TransformersGeneration1 Devastator's]] [[Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen balls]]?''"
---> Sango: ''"Why else do you think he's wearing a huge metal codpiece?''"
---> Abraxas: ''"but a decepticon's balls are supposed to be properly displayed! a decepticon's balls make autobots question their trips through [[Fanfic/LoveBeyondCircuitsLoveBeyondFlesh Potimus's rectum]] and make John Torturro bend over like a bitch! this...this is not how a decepticon's balls should be cared for. Devastator - I am filled with rage at how you abuse your matrix given balls!"''
---> Sango: ''"Is there a certain way Decepticon balls should smell, [[Anime/DragonBallZ Vegeta]]con?"''
---> Abraxas: ''"like 137 octane gasoline!"''
---> Sango: ''"Maybe Exxon-Mobil should tap the untapped reservoir of Deceptiballs."''
* And they had a field day [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/01/fear_leads_to_anger_anger_leads_to_hate_hate_leads_2.php#Comments here]]
--> Abraxas: ''"it's ... it's ... it's lucas - he's trying to break free of the colon! i'm deciphering the message, yes, it's coming in .. it's ... 'BEANO'? what could this mean?? george, we'll get you free of that colon, just hang on!"''
--> Sago: ''"when 900 years old you reach, have sphincter control, you will not."''
* [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Sago]] attacks a {{Troll}} with a [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/02/9_misconceptions_people_have_about_godzilla.php#comment-428574913 trick]] he learned from [[MadDoctor Dr. Abraxas]].
* Rickicker's [[SuicideAsComedy epic post-FFF suicides]].
** Any time [[HeroicComedicSociopath Sago]] and [[EldritchAbomination Dr. Abraxas]] try to one up each other, NightmareFuel, {{Squick}} and [[CrossesTheLineTwice lulz]] follows.

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Other ]]

* [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/05/well_hello_korra_from_the_last_airbender_sequel.php Even the 404 page is funny.]]
* The birth of [[MemeticMutation "WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?!"]] after a particularly wretched ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' FFF.
* This part of the [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/06/topless_robots_transformers_3_faq.php Transformers 3 FAQ]]:
-->'''Q''': I don't find Rosie Huntington-Whiteley that attractive.
-->'''A''': Well, Michael Bay sure does, because the first scene after the title is a close-up of her ass, only in panties, walking up the stairs for a good 30 seconds. And again, all the males in the movie leer at her unsettlingly. Even Bumblebee, when he first sees Rosie, freaks out and breaks a chandelier. Ha ha, it's funny because she's so attractive ha ha [[spoiler:ROBOTS WANT TO FUCK OUR WOMEN]].
* Rob's reaction to the news that Creator/ChristopherLee was [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/01/christopher_lee_will_rock_your_face_off.php recording a "symphonic metal" album about the life of Charlemagne]], his ancestor. It's [[LargeHam so over the top]] it's hillarious.
* The DVD Day for the 14th of Februrary, [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/02/dvd_day_february_14th_2012.php#Comments check Nude Nuns with Big Guns.]]