* The beautifully snarky quip at the end of the pre-credits sequence.
-->'''Bond:''' Iíve evacuated the area. Ask the admiral ''[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar where]]'' he wants his bombs delivered.
* The scene that introduces Carver and some his immoral practices. While this helps set up how horrible he is, he still manages to pull a case of him being a jerk actually being funny.
--> '''Elliot Carver''': Mr. Wallace, call the President. Tell him if he doesn't sign the bill lowering the cable rates, we will release the video of him with the cheerleader in the Chicago motel room.
--> '''Mr. Wallace''': Inspired, sir.\\
'''Elliot Carver''': And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.\\
'''Mr. Wallace:''' Consider him slimed.
** Even funnier, Mr. Wallace was played by Bond producer Michael Wilson, in his obligatory CreatorCameo.
* Moneypenny has been on the phone to Bond, while Bond is in the middle of having sex. She gets him to acknowledge that the situation is urgent enough to justify speedy sex, if not to abort it entirely, then hangs up, turns around and sees M standing there.
-->'''Moneypenny:''' Don't ask.\\
'''M:''' Don't tell.
* Bond becomes uncomfortable when he learns that M and Moneypenny know all about his past sexual encounters. "I didn't know that was public knowledge."
* [[https://youtu.be/_eEt51wWhNY?t=0m35s In this scene]], Q gives Bond ''literal'' HeroInsurance for his car!
-->'''Q''': Will you need collision coverage?\\
'''James Bond:''' Yes.\\
'''Q:''' ''[stares at Bond]'' Fire?\\
'''James Bond:''' Probably.\\
'''Q:''' Property destruction?\\
'''James Bond:''' [[KungShui Definitely.]]\\
'''Q:''' Personal Injury?\\
'''James Bond:''' I hope not, but accidents do happen.\\
'''Q:''' They frequently do with you.\\
'''James Bond:''' ''[signs the form]'' Well, that takes care of the "normal" wear and tear. Is there any other protection I need?\\
'''Q:''' Only from ''me'', 007, unless you bring that car back in pristine order.
* This exchange is pure comedic gold!
-->'''Q''': I thought you'd pay more attention to a female voice.\\
'''Bond''': [[TheCasanova I think we've met!]]
** Aaand then we see the car itself; When the car stops in front of Q and Bond, its engine almost makes a satisfied purring sound! Clearly Bond's sex appeal isn't limited to human females as the car does indeed [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything respond positively to his touch]]. With regards to his "bossy" car, Bond later tells a valet at Carver's party, "Don't let her push you around."
* The expression on Bond's face when he's being chased by SMG-toting guards, and he sees Wai Lin waving at him as he draws off the men who'd normally be chasing after her.
* Bond punches a henchman off a catwalk, and he falls into a printing press. "[[BondOneLiner They'll print anything these days]]."
* When various henchmen try to break into Bond's car, sledgehammers bounce off its armor and jamming things in the handles and gaps electrocutes the mooks. As a result, they call Dr. Kaufman - who has just finished spelling out how he's going to kill Bond to make it look like a murder-suicide - and order him to torture Bond into unlocking it.
-->'''Dr. Kaufman''': This is ''very'' embarrassing. It seems there is a red box in your car. They can't get to it. ''[[ICantBelieveImSayingThis They want me to make you unlock the car]].'' I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to say.
** The nonchalant shrug and smirk Bond gives at this point makes one think he knows how the next ten minutes are going to go, as the majority of his Q gadgets for this film involve said car. Starting with how it's unlocked - his gadget-laden cell-phone. Instead of telling Kaufman the code to unlock the car, Bond tells him the code which activates the built-in ''taser.'' '''ZAP'''
** ...aaand segue into the big ChaseScene, which is equal parts awesome and hilarious - [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKAME9fAA-4 Especially because Bond is controlling the car via his cell-phone the entire time.]]
** "Welcome. Please fasten seat belt." Said as Bond has just remotely opened one of the rear windows and dived into the backseat.
** "Warning. Unsafe driving will void warranty." Said as Bond is smashing through barricades and swerving around explosions.
** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in roadway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
** "Obstruction ahead. Reduce speed ''now.''" This is the only advice Bond even ''partially'' listens to, specifically because the "obstruction" is a door that somehow shrugs off the car's built-in rockets.
** Bond's reaction to the re-inflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.
** Bond has an OhCrap moment when a goon is about to shoot his car with a rocket-propelled grenade... But then, because the BMW already has its windscreen and rear window broken, the grenade shoots through his car just fine, exploding instead at the chase car behind the BMW. Bond's face pretty much says this: Well, that works, too.
** The look of unabashed glee on Bond's face as his BMW flies through the air and crash-lands into an Avis office, the same company he supposedly rented it from.
*** "Congratulations on [[BlatantLies a safe journey]]!"
*** There's a deleted scene where a group of rubberneckers have crowded around the crashed car. Bond walks through them and tells the Avis agents that the keys are still in the car.
* When Bond and Wade are getting the stolen GPS unit checked out, Bond and Wade share a silent look about their chosen attire (Bond is dressed as a formal military officer, Wade is in casual attire wearing a Hawaiian shirt). Wade lamely straightens his shirt in an effort to make himself look better.
* The OhCrap reaction of Wade and the U.S. military personnel when they realise they're dropping Bond in equipment festooned with U.S. government markings into what is technically Vietnamese territorial waters.
* Stamper speaking glowingly about Dr. Kaufman and his work with the worst kind of torture imaginable. Just the way he talks about him as though he were a great humanitarian is hilarious.
* After Carver elaborates on how Bond will be tortured, Bond's witty reply is, "I would have thought watching your TV shows was torture enough." Wai Lin is barely able to conceal a chuckle.
* Bond and Wai Lin squabbling over who gets to drive the motorcycle as they're escaping from Carver's mooks. For the "suave" Bond, Creator/PierceBrosnan really know how to do hilariously bitchy arguing well.
** Before shooting the scene, the director pulled the actors aside without the other knowing and told them [[EnforcedMethodActing to not let the other get in front under any circumstances]].
* Bond's suggestion that he write to the British and Chinese governments informing them of Carver's plans wins him an amused grin from Wai Lin when he sees that the computer terminal in the hidden armory is all in Chinese characters; he lets her do the typing.
* When he inadvertently fiddles with the various gadgets stashed within Wai Lin's safehouse, many of them similar in nature to Q branch's many inventions, and yet Bond is somehow caught off guard by each one of them. He seems more amused than shocked by a couple of them, even cracking a pun at one or two, but when he [[KillItWithFire accidentally sets off a flamethrower]] mounted in a dragon's head, he actually yelps in shock.
-->'''Bond''': ''[chuckling nervously]'' Very novel!
* Carver making fun of Wai Lin's martial-arts skills with some FunnyBruceLeeNoises, even getting a fairly decent high-kick in. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jGNxTyVH7c Just watch.]]
* Carver finds out that Stamper has (yet again) failed to kill Bond.
-->'''Carver''': So much for [[GermanicEfficiency German efficiency]].
* The SnarkToSnarkCombat at the party in Hamburg. Bond's met Carver for all of thirty seconds before he starts trolling him with how much he knows about his EvilPlan.