* The Abbot, who as a serial reincarnator has an adult mind in a toddler's body. He [[SophisticatedAsHell alternates from a sophisticated vocabulary to saying things like]] ''"Wanna bikkit wanna bikkit WANNA BIKKIT"''. It's implied that he deliberately selected his most annoying acolyte to attend his physical needs, as well as acting as the target for awkwardly-swung toys and suddenly ballistic baby food.
* The exchange among the [[spoiler:Auditors turned human]] over what their names are, with one viciously stealing whatever name is claimed to be superior.
* One of the Auditors thinks that the word "organ" makes a good insult. This results in such gems as "Do as I say, you organic organ!"
* Using chocolates as weapons. Heck, the entire running battle against the Auditors, including using signboards against the very literal-minded Auditors, including a left-pointing arrow marked 'Go right.'
--> IGNORE THIS NOTICE.
** Then there's [[{{Duck}} DUCK]], to which Susan's reaction is "Ah, now we're getting metaphysical."
*** Careful reading reveals that Auditors suffer HEAVY casualties from those signs. Part of those casualties come from the signs themselves and auditors dissolving from mental dissonance as they try to work it through. The other part comes from the surviving Auditors relieving the mental stress by killing any disagreeing Auditors and forcing them to break the rules. Extra funny is because it is implied that it was Myria Le Jean who made those signs, so she knew exactly how they would react. Takes being one to beat one, I guess.
* Lu Tze attempts to teach Rule One (always act cautiously around wrinkly old men) to an angry mammoth. The mammoth is unreceptive due to one brain cell thinking it should trample him, one brain cell thinking it should gouge him, and the last having wandered off and thinking about 'as much sex as possible.'
* When Susan approaches Nanny's cottage she looks over her garden and all the lawn ornaments there, one of which is a gnome holding a rod... except that it's not the ''fishing'' kind of rod. Susan can't believe it, until she meets Nanny at the door and she gives Susan a look that says "Yep, that's my gnome, and be thankful he's only ''widdling'' in the pond."
* War, the Anthropomorphic Personification of, well, War, is being henpecked by his Valkyrie wife. ''Even as he rides out.''
* In the opening, Death observes the Death of Rats performing an experiment with some buttered toast, to see if the Auditors are planning anything. Death then gets up for some exposition, only to slip on the way back to his desk.
--> [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Help me up, please. And then clean up the damn butter. ]]

* Death and the Auditors, toward the end, are arguing about whether it's the Apocalypse and how the Auditors broke the rules. In pops the prophesied angel with the iron book...only for Death to have to awkwardly inform him that he is no longer official -- revisions in the holy text wrote off that bit as Apocrypha. The angel is considerably annoyed at having wasted his time.
** And then gets ever-more-flustered as the actual battle commences in a manner he didn't anticipate, until he's reduced to asking Mrs. War for a pencil so he can revise the book's contents.
** The same Angel using HIS OWN HALO as a saw to cut away some old corrosion in his book, and its accompanying sound effects descriptions.
* The [[IceCreamKoan "koans"]] of the Way of Mrs. Cosmopolite, including such gems as "It never rains, but it pours."
** One is 'Do unto otters as you would have them do to you', which Lu Tze suspects he may not have transcribed entirely correctly, though apparently, he does make a point of treating otters respectfully. And since they've generally left him alone, he guesses it works fairly well.
* In the denouement, one little girl in Susan's class is writing about their latest class trip - to learn about witches. They also learn about Greebo.
--> The wich sang us [[BrickJoke a song about a hedghog]] it had lots of difficult words. She has a cat it chased [[EnfantTerrible Jason]] up a tree.
* One in the blurb: it mentions the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse "and Ronnie, [[ThePeteBest the fifth Horseman, who quit before they were famous]]".
* Igor's credentials.
* The existence of Quoth, the raven.
* Pretty much every interaction between Wen the Eternally Surprised and his disciple Clodpool. The sequence of events begins with Wen enlightened about the true nature of time, and he speaks highly metaphorically about pretty much everything. Clodpool meanwhile is simply too thick to interpret what he says in any other way than literally, and also peppers in plenty of [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snark]].
* Nanny Ogg recounts her helping give birth to Time's "twins", due to a hitch in time in the middle of it all. One moment she's holding the baby, while looking at herself delivering the baby. She manages to act completely nonplussed, saying to herself, "This is a fine to-do, Mrs Ogg", and replying "You never said a truer world, Mrs. Ogg." And when she's told the child(ren) must be raised human without knowing of their true heritage until they are of age, she thinks to herself, "Yep, it's gone myffic all right."
* Jason and the battle for the Stationary cupboard. It's obviously been a frightful war for Susan, though we never get to see it play out.
** The description of Jason: "If children were weapons, Jason would have been banned by international treaty. Jason had doting parents and an attention span of minus several seconds, except when it came to inventive cruelty to small furry animals, when he could be quite patient. Jason kicked, punched, bit and spat. His artwork had even frightened the life out of Miss Smith, who could generally find something nice to say about any child. He was definitely a boy with special needs. In the view of the staff room, these began with an exorcism. Madam Frout had stooped to listening at the keyhole. She had heard Jason's first tantrum of the day, and then silence. She couldn't quite make out what Miss Susan said next. When she found an excuse to venture into the classroom half an hour later, Jason was helping two little girls to make a cardboard rabbit. Later his parents said they were amazed at the change, although apparently now he would only go to sleep with the light on."
** "You soon learned that 'No one is to open the door of the Stationery Cupboard' was a prohibition that a seven year-old simply would not understand. You had to think, and rephrase it in more immediate terms, like, 'No one, Jason, no matter what, no, not even if they thought they heard someone shouting for help, no one - are you paying attention, Jason? - is to open the door of the Stationery Cupboard, or accidentally fall on the door handle so that it opens, or threaten to steal Richenda's teddy bear unless she opens the door of the Stationery Cupboard, or be standing nearby when a mysterious wind comes out of nowhere and blows the door open all by itself, honestly, it really did, or in any way open, cause to open, ask anyone else to open, jump up and down on the loose floorboard to open or in any other way seek to obtain entry to the Stationery Cupboard, Jason!'"

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