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* From "Shakespeare's Sister":
-->I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar
-->Then it meant that you were a protest singer
-->Oh I can smile about it now
-->But at the time it was terrible.
* "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" is about the persistence of depression, but it takes a far more [[BlackComedy darkly funny]] and self-deprecating perspective than it gets credit for.
-->I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
-->and heaven knows I'm miserable now...
** Later in the song, the narrator flees in terror from a woman who offers to sleep with him. What really makes it funny is how he makes it sound like it was the only ''rational'' thing to do.
* The narrator's absurd JustJokingJustification in "Bigmouth Strikes Again".
* From "The Queen Is Dead":
-->I say [[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Charles]], don't you ever crave\\
To appear on the front of the [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers Daily Mail]]\\
Dressed in your mother's bridal veil?\\
--
-->So, I broke into the palace
-->With a sponge and a rusty spanner
-->She said, "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
-->I said, "That's nothing, you should hear me play piano"
* "He killed a policemen when he was thirteen / and somehow that really impressed me..."
* The morbidly hilarious "Unhappy Birthday", in which the narrator matter-of-factly commits suicide halfway through.
** From the same song: "I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday / 'cause you're evil and you lie / and if you should die, I may be slightly sad /but I won't cry."
* Morrissey's reaction to Music/{{tATu}}'s cover of "How Soon Is Now?":
-->'''Interviewer:''' Did you hear t.A.T.u's version of 'How Soon Is Now'?
-->'''Morrissey:''' Yes, it was magnificent. Absolutely. Again, I don't know much about them.
-->'''Interviewer:''' They're the teenage Russian lesbians.
-->'''Morrissey:''' Well, aren't we all?
* The band's appearance on the kid's show ''Charlie's Bus'', which finds them joining a bunch of schoolchildren on board a double-decker bus. This scene is a particular standout:
-->'''Young Girl:''' Where are we going?
-->'''Morrissey:''' We're all going mad.
-->'''Young Girl:''' I thought we were going to Kew Gardens.
-->''(Morrissey turns to the camera with a smirk)''
* "Frankly, Mr. Shankly", where the narrator snarks constantly to their boss while talking about their desire for musical fame.
-->''"But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled''\\
''Making Christmas cards with the mentally ill''"\\
--
-->''"Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote poetry''\\
''I didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry Mr Shankly"''\\
--
-->''"Frankly, Mr Shankly, since you ask''\\
''You are a flatulent pain in the arse''\\
''I do not mean to be so rude''\\
''But still, I must speak frankly, Mr Shankly, give us money"''
* "Vicar in a Tutu". Even title is funny in itself.
* "Bigmouth Strikes Again" is full of surreal humor
-->Oh... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking when I said\\
By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed\\
--
-->Now I know how Joan of Arc felt\\
As the flames rose to her Roman nose\\
And her Walkman started to melt
* Any of Music/{{Morrissey}}'s attempts at dancing.
** For those mercifully unaware, Morrissey's dancing can and may include: Morrissey lying down on the stage, Morrissey ripping off his shirt, Morrissey being hugged by stage-crashing audience members, Morrissey brandishing placards and Morrissey throwing flowers at the audience, as well as overdramatic gesturing, unnerving hip gyrations and a blatant disregard for anything ''approaching'' gracefulness. A classic example of Morrissey dancing is The Smiths performing "Still Ill" on The Tube.
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