* Laurie, reading a letter from Martin... about his new Indian wife.
--> "She wasn't nearly as old as you... '''HOW OLD DOES HE THINK I AM?!'''"
* Gotta love that young and innocent Lt. Greenhill. (Played by John Wayne's son Patrick)
--> '''Lt. Greenhill''': Can't I stay? Please?
--> '''Reverend Clayton''': ...Oh, all right. But you watch me, boy! I'm the hardcase you're up against out here, not them childish savages! And if you don't hear my first holler, you better read my mind 'cause I don't aim to raise no two hollers on any subject at hand!
--> '''Lt. Greenhill''': (salutes with his sabre and pokes the Reverend in the ''rear flank'') Yes sir!
--> '''Reverend Clayton''': Boy, watch that knife!
* Charlie, just Charlie.
--> "I'll thank you to unhand my fi-an-cy."
--> (starts a fight, then abruptly stops to give someone back there lost fiddle) "Somebody's fiddle?"
--> "Quit that Marty! that ain't Fay-yer!"
** Ethan seems to enjoy the chaos that follows Charlie himself.
--> '''Laurie''': Ethan! can't you make them stop?!
--> '''Ethan''': Why? You started it.
* Don't forget old [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Mose Harper.]]
* The look of pure enjoyment on Laurie's face while Charlie and Martin are fighting (which is funny enough on its own).
* "So he married a Comanche squaw. Hawh! Hawh! Hawh!"