* Lucia's reaction to finding out Dedee took her brother's ashes.
-->'''Lucia:''' Oh, great, she's probably trying to smoke them!
* Dedee ordering a Long-island iced tea at a restaurant. When rebuked, since she's pregnant, she responds, "This kid owes its ''life'' to Long-island iced tea, if you get what I mean."
* During the birth scene, this moment happens:
--> '''Bill:''' ''[in awe]'' You're having a baby!
--> '''Dedee:''' ''[in a lot of pain, very sarcastically]'' Yeah, lucky me!
* Lucia berates Matt for the affair since he's supposed to be gay. He responds that he's bisexual...
--> "I went to a Bar Mitzvah once! That doesn't make me Jewish!"
* Lucia admitting that she doesn't understand the human appetite for sex:
-->'''Lucia''': I would rather have a back rub. It lasts longer, and there's no fluids.
* Dedee trolling the audience into thinking she has died. ''Twice''.
--> "I'm the fucking ''narrator'', guys."
* When Matt suggests marrying, Dedee says she doesn't think they should rush into it.
--> '''Lucia:''' No, but bring another life into the world? That's whim time.
* Lucia also suggests an abortion, which Dedee reminds her off when Lucia tells her that smoking is bad for the baby.