* "OOOOOHHHH!! Look at that big scary monster! OOOOOOOOOHHH!"
* "Aww, man! Fat kid farted!"
* "Have you or have you not, at some point in life..." (long pause) "been dorked?"
* And, of course, the main page-topping quote, which is arguably the film's most memorable line.
* "Do I look in the phonebook for Big Scary Mansion?"
* Patrick and Rudy are hiding in the bushes, watching Patrick's sister kissing her date. Rudy won't stop looking at her.
-->'''Patrick:''' Rudy? Rudy! (hits him with his walkie-talkie)\\
'''Rudy:''' This babe is major.\\
'''Patrick:''' Rudy's in love.\\
'''Sean:''' Well, good for Rudy.
* "DOESN'T COUNT?!"
* Both spit takes.
** "Know any virgins?"
* The BrickJoke involving the army showing up at the end. It's funny as hell when you remember that what summoned them was a note written by Eugene --in ''crayon''-- asking the "army guys" to come and help.
* The other BrickJoke, about killing werewolves. Early in the film Rudy is asked about the secondary way to kill a werewolf, and he says that there's only one way. The rest of the 'squad' give various suggestions, including [[DestinationDefenestration It falling out of the window]], into an explosion. Guess what happens to the wolfman at the end of the film, failing to kill him?
** The GroinAttack on the Wolf Man.