* Cortana's thought of the volus?
-->'''Cortana''': Short, fat, restricted to a suit, and apparently, asthmatic. I didn't think it was possible, but I think we've discovered a species sadder than the grunts.
* On Therum, when the squad realizes their less than judicious use of a mining laser has triggered an eruption...
-->'''Garrus''': Wait, volcanic eruption? You mean, we've been in a ''volcano'' this entire time?
-->'''Liara''': Yes. You didn't know?
-->'''N'tho''': ''(sheepish)'' Yeah...the ruins here are in a once-dormant, now not-so-dormant volcano. Probably should've mentioned that earlier. My bad.
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Wrex''': [[TranquilFury If I die in here, I'll kill you.]]
* N'tho singing [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfZDfXD-Pzo The SMG Song]] during the raid on Sharjila.
* On the Presidium, Chief sees a drone/bugger/Yanme'e delivering pizza. The last time he encountered these creatures, he was [[GoddamnedBats dodging wave after wave of plasma, needler rounds, and grenades]]... and now, [[MundaneUtility they're delivering pizza]].
* Cortana's response when [[spoiler: Garrus sees through her charade of pretending to be a VI by pointing out he recognizes her from documentaries on the Human-Covenant War]].
-->'''Cortana''': Damn you, History Channel!
** For that matter, Garrus asking The Chief [[spoiler: about Cortana's [[MsFanservice appearance]].]]
-->'''Garrus''': [[spoiler: I mean, did she ''come'' that way or did you [[CovertPervert customize her to look like that yourself?]]]]
* When first visiting the Citadel, Chief sees an ad for Old Spice; specifically, Advertising/TheManYourManCouldSmellLike. The commercial is done by an Elite. Cortana's comments on it ([[DistractedByTheSexy and lack thereof]]) are ''priceless''.
* The method Chief uses to deal with the infamous reporter.
* Any of the {{Smash Cut}}s.
--> '''Chief:''' ''*after he scolded Tali for unauthorized use of the budget*'' She'll get over it. In fact, she's probably forgotten all about it by now.
--> ''(cut to Tali in the shooting gallery)''
--> '''Tali:''' STUPID! *BLAM!* ARMOR-HEADED! *BLAM!* INSENSITIVE! *BLAM!* SEVEN-FOOT! *BLAM!* [[PardonMyKlingon BOSH'TET]]! *BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!*
* ''[[ShowWithinAShow My Life with Bipbap]]''
** It's a sitcom about an Asari and her Unggoy bondmate. The one episode we do see involves Bipbap trying to hide his friend, an elcor, from ''his'' mate... and it backfires spectacularly.
* When the Chief arrives on Earth, he's greeted by a crowd admirers with several Elites and many younger women. Something hits him in the head and it turns out to be a [[spoiler: ''bra'']]. Cortana is shocked by this.
-->'''Captain Anderson:''' (''chuckling'') Come on, lover boy."
* The unggoy dock worker on Eden Prime.
-->"Yeah! That's great! You guys go get the beacon! While I stay here...by myself...with no weapons to defend myself in case any more Geth show up. Never mind that I'm a [[spoiler: key witness in the murder of a spectre]]. I'll be fine." ({{Beat}}) "I need a hug."
* During the fight on Reach, Tali picks up a heavy weapon. After a few failed attempts to fire, Cortana suggests Tali hold the trigger down. Turns out the weapon is a [[{{BFG}} Spartan Laser]], and the kickback knocks Tali off her feet.
* "The Last Spartan, Version 2.0", an AprilFools joke which addresses the complaint of "why are the UNSC so weak?", turns them into fascist militarists and takes their anti-Council agenda UpToEleven. To wit, [[spoiler:the Sanghelli are extinct and the rest of the Covenant are either client races or living in Terminus outposts, the Batarians lost a war to the UNSC and are now a client race, the Council are in open war with the UNSC, the Illusive Man is President of humanity, Tali and Vega die during the invasion of Palaven, where Chief kills Garrus, and Chief's next mission revolves around him tracking down Saren, who's just stolen the Normandy - and Chief's ship is now ''Sovereign''.]]
* An Unngnoy dockworker on the can after eating dextro-amino fruit.
* The "Achievement Hunter Rodeo Clowns" dialogue.
-->'''Gavin:''' Stay in school, kids! Don't do drugs!\\
'''Ray:''' He's lying, kids. ''Drugs are awesome.''
* Jondum Bau's [[FacePalm reaction]] to seeing that the ship he will be taking to find Halo is a Super Carrier. As the Arbiter points out, [[ExactWords he did request "one ship"]].
** For clarification, a Super Carrier is ''roughly'' three quarters the size of the entire Citadel. ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill, indeed.
* [[spoiler: The new Blue Team members]] arguing over their number designations.
* N'tho going on about how John never read ''Literature/TheHobbit''.
* A Sangheili Minor playing a game of 'answer the question correctly or run laps around the cargo bay until I tell you to stop.' With his Unggoy troops.
* The Jiralhanae with the fetish for Quarians, and how he meets his end.
** And for that matter, in order to fool the dropship pilot coming to pick him up, Wrex uses his biotics to make it [[OfCorpseHesAlive look like he's waving for the pilot to land]]. And according to Wrex, [[NoodleIncident this wasn't the first time he's used that trick]].
* A Troupe of ghost-hunting Unggoy.