* The best moments come courtesy of Varda's probably-unwise-in-hindsight decision to let Fëanor play a round. He promptly ran off at the end of the chapter and began to cause as much chaos as elvenly possible. Morgoth winds up hiding under the table several times. The thing that really got him started was this exchange:
--> "Shut up," Morgoth snapped, before Varda could say anything. "Most of the Sue authors don't even know you exist."\\
"What?" Fëanor asked quietly.\\
"Fëanor-" Varda began.\\
"I will ''make'' them know I exist, before I am done," said Fëanor, and vanished into the trees of the Golden Wood once again.

* [[GratuitousNinja Elvish ninjas]]. That is all. Oh, and Tulkas telling Morgoth that [[YouNeedToGetLaid he needs a girlfriend]].
* After one of Morgoth's Sues gets killed by the Balrog without any effort on the part of his opponent, he gets this letter: [[note]]The gaps are burn holes. Balrogs aren't very good at writing on paper.[[/note]]
-->Dear goth,\\
Should ve known, you astard. You [[BadBoss de ed me wage bene and no raise for mil years]]. [[TheDogBitesBack Of course I would venge on you, and your p cious Sue]].\\
Sin ly,\\
Bal g of Mor a.
* The entire chapter with the FangirlJapanese Sue. GenkiGirl doesn't even ''begin'' to describe it.
* "Morgoth would have had the good grace to look ashamed, if he had known what 'good grace' or 'ashamed' meant."
* Varda's comments on one of the Sues. "[[DeadpanSnarker Shall I ask Nienna to weep for her? Or perhaps Fëanor to create a very small violin?]]"
* Varda waits for Morgoth to play one of his Sues.
--> '''Varda:''' Well, put her in motion. I need another break after this, and I'll need to find someone else to play for me.
--> The air near her gave a hopeful whine.
--> '''Varda:''' Not you, Saruman, so don't even ask.
* Varda complains about the increasing number of escapes from the Halls of Mandos.
--> '''Varda:''' Eru damn it, it's getting like a sieve in there.
* "The final indignity, as [Deirdre] saw it, was being abruptly shoved aside by two mere Elves who dashed into the tent, grabbed the Silmarils from her hands, and ran away again. And then, for no reason she knew at all, the red-haired one who had only one hand came back and kicked her in the ribs."
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