Pretty much the whole movie. It's a 100-minute Looney Tunes style comedy routine run by and written for [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarkers.]]
----

*
-->'''Kuzco''': Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But Yzma, you really wanna kill me?!
-->'''Yzma''': [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms Just think of it as...you're being let go. That your life's going in a different direction. That your body is part of a permanent outplacement.]]
-->'''Kronk''': [[CaptainObvious Hey, that's kinda like what he said]] [[IronicEcho to you when you got fired.]]
-->'''Yzma''': [[DontExplainTheJoke I know.]] It's called a "cruel irony". Like my dependence on ''you''.
*
--> '''Kuzco:''' No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?
--> '''Yzma:''' Uh...um...How ''did'' we, Kronk?
--> '''Kronk:''' Well, ya got me. ''(pulls down the diagram from the montage)'' [[AssPull By all accounts,]] [[LampshadeHanging it doesn't make sense.]]
--> '''Yzma:''' [[HandWave Oh well.]] Back to business!
** Speaking of the diagram, during the chase scene, Yzma and Kronk see the red line marking Kuzco and Pacha's path on the map, as well as the blue line of their own path ''trailing right behind them'', and are both utterly dumbfounded, but they just decide to ignore it.
*
--> '''Yzma:''' [[ToTheBatpole To the secret lab!]] [[CatchPhrase Pull the lever, Kronk!]]
--> '''THUNK'''
--> '''Yzma:''' ''[[NoOSHACompliance Wrong leverrrr...!!]]''
--> '''Yzma:''' (Dripping wet and with an alligator attached to her derriére) [[InventionalWisdom Why do we even]] ''[[FridgeLogic HAVE]]'' [[LampshadeHanging that lever?]]
** This becomes a RunningGag in the show. The writers always made something different happen when Kronk pulled the wrong lever.
*
-->'''Kuzco:''' (Dripping wet and with an alligator attached to his derriére) [[BrickJoke Okay, why does she even]] ''[[BrickJoke HAVE]]'' [[BrickJoke that lever?]]
*
-->'''Pacha''': Uh-oh.\\
'''Kuzco''': (completely deadpan, facing the other way) Don't tell me: [[GenreSavvy we're about to go over]] [[InevitableWaterfall a huge waterfall.]]\\
'''Pacha''': Yep.\\
'''Kuzco''': Sharp rocks at the bottom?\\
'''Pacha''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Most likely]].\\
'''Kuzco''': ({{beat}}) [[BringIt Bring it on]].
* The [[AvertedTrope Aversion]] of the DisneyVillainDeath:
-->'''Guard''': For the last time, we did ''not'' order a giant trampoline!\\
'''Merchant''': You know, pal, you coulda told me that before I set it up!
* Yzma has just tossed Kronk a knife:
-->'''Shoulder Devil:''' Hey, you're not backing down now are ya, big guy? *''Appears''*
-->'''Kronk:''' Uh...Where's the other guy? *''Shoulder Angel appears, doing his hair, and reading a book''* Yo!
-->'''Shoulder Angel:''' Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?
-->'''Kronk:''' Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife, and asked me to, y'know, take them out, and then this guy popped up, and we waited for you, and quite honestly...
-->*''All the while Kronk's been talking (and making various gestures), for Yzma, Pacha, and Kuzco it looks like he's talking to thin air. Yzma points in disbelief, while the other two shrug with bewildered expressions on their faces.''*
* Leading to Yzma's BreakingSpeech
-->'''Yzma''': Kronk! ''Why'' did I think you could do this? This ''one, simple thing''.. it's like I'm talking to a monkey!
-->'''Kronk's Shoulder Angel''': Whoa now.
-->'''Yzma''': A really. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Big. Stupid. Monkey.]] Named. KRONK!
-->'''Kronk's Shoulder Devil''': Ouch.
-->'''Yzma''': ''And do you want to know something else?'' [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking I never liked your spinach puffs!]]
-->'''All Kronks''': *gasp*
-->'''Yzma''': NEVER!!
-->'''Kronk''': [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne *cries*]]
-->'''Kronk's Shoulder Devil''': [[BerserkButton That's it.]] (''[[DramaticGunCock cocks his pitchfork like a gun]]'') She's going down.
* Followed immediately by:
--> '''Shoulder Angel''': Now now, remember guys, "from above, the wicked shall receive their just reward."
--> ''They all look up, see a [[FallingChandelierOfDoom chandelier]]''
--> '''All three of them:''' That'll work.
--> ''(Kronk slices the rope holding up the chandelier, which crashes down around Yzma. She is untouched; her body was so skinny it passed right through a gap.)''
--> '''Kronk:''' Strange, that usually works.
--> '''Yzma:''' And so does THIS!
-->''(She pulls a lever and a trapdoor opens under Kronk)''
--> '''Kronk:''' [[CasualDangerDialogue Oh, I]] [[DidntSeeThatComing shoulda seen that one coming]]...
--> ''(He falls, followed a moment later by the angel and devil, who hug each other}''
* Earlier, the conversation when Kronk has second thoughts about killing Kuzco.
--> '''Shoulder Angel:''' Oh come off it!
--> '''Shoulder Devil:''' You come off it!
--> '''Angel:''' You!
--> '''Devil:''' You infinity.
--> '''Angel:''' (frustrated) Rrrgh!
--> '''Devil:''' (to Kronk) Alright, listen up big guy, I've got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Reason #1...(points to the Shoulder Angel) look at that guy, he's got that sissy stringy music thingy.
--> '''Angel:''' We've been through this, it's a harp, and you ''know'' it.
--> '''Devil:''' Right, that's a harp...and that's a dress.
--> '''Angel:''' Robe!
--> '''Devil:''' Reason #2...look what I can do. (does a one-handed handstand) Ha-hah!
--> '''Kronk (actually acting relatively smart for once):''' But...what does that have to do with anyth-...?
--> '''Angel:''' (straight-faced) [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike No no, he's got a point]].
* Also a classic, Yzma's [[EvilPlan plan]] on how to get rid of Kuzco:
-->'''Yzma:''' Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of ''another'' box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...[[[EvilLaugh laughs]]] ...I'll ''[[LargeHam SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER]]!'' It's brilliant, brilliant, ''brilliant'', I tell you! Genius, I say! [knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which instantly [[ThatPoorPlant shrivels up and dies]]] Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with ''this!''
** And right after, when she hands the poison over to Kronk:
--->'''Yzma:''' [[EvilGloating Ooooohhh,]] ''[[EvilGloating feel]]'' [[EvilGloating the power!]]
--->'''Kronk:''' [''absolutely'' deadpan] Oh. I can feel it.
** "Our moment of triumph approaches! [[EvilLaugh AH HA HA HA HA!]] It's '''DINNER''' TIME!" *[[MundaneMadeAwesome dramatic lightning]]*
* "HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM ALL OF US TO '''YOU'''! WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE COULD PARTY TOO!"
** Also notice how many candles they put on Yzma's cake during that scene.
* Kronk makes his own background music. Even more funny when he leans onto a wall to not be seen, but keeps singing, thus defeating the point of leaning in the first place.
** A wall covered with carvings of giant stone figures pointing down at him, no less.
** Also led to a RealLife moment, when the Disney lawyers required Kronk's voice-actor Creator/PatrickWarburton to officially sign over the rights to the tune he improvised while recording the scene.
* This exchange:
-->'''Yzma:''' Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.
-->'''Kronk:''' Don't you mean 'or'?
-->'''Yzma:''' UGH! Fine. Tell us where the talking llama is '''or''' we'll burn your house to the ground.
-->'''Chaca:''' Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction!
** In the same scene, Kronk refuses to break down the door to the closet they're trapped in because of it being "hand carved mahogany".
** The fact that Kronk doesn't seem to understand why they're there in the first place.
-->'''Kronk''': Well, ''I'' had a great time. Let's not wait until the next family reunion to get together, okay?
* The scene when Chicha hit Kuzco with her frying pan. To be fair, she had been wanting to do that since the beginning.
--> '''Kuzco''': You have a lovely wife! Both very pretty!
* Kuzco's monologue just after the bridge rescue scene
-->Woo-oo-yeah! Look at me and mah bad self! I snatched you right out of the air! "Oooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall and I'm taking you with me." Well, not today pal! A-huh! [''little llama strut''] A-huh a-huh a-huh!
* "Yay, I'm a llama again! ...wait."
* Or when the soldiers have been turned into various animals:
-->'''Yzma:''' Get them!
-->'''Random Soldier:''' Um, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?
-->'''Yzma''' ([[AffablyEvil completely calm and polite]]): You're excused. Anyone else?
-->'''Soldiers:''' No, no, [[AngstWhatAngst we're good]].
** This may lead to a rather awkward case of FridgeBrilliance, considering that [[GenderBender cows are female.]] Can you blame the guy for leaving early?
* And when the soldiers attempt to follow Kuzco and Pacha, who are now dangling out of the nostril of Kuzco's sculpted head on his palace.
-->'''Yzma''': There they go, after them!
-->'''Lead soldier''': C'mon men! [[{{Immortality}} Nobody lives forever!]]
--> *they jump down the funnel and end up sliding out of it and falling to their (offscreen) deaths*
* Kronk: (Bolting awake) "THE PEASANT! At the diner! (beat) [[ComicallyMissingThePoint He didn't pay his check]]." (All this said utterly deadpan to Kronk's teddy bear, which wears the same sleep headgear as he.)
** And the CucumberFacial that follows it!
--> '''Kronk''': Yzma!
--> '''Yzma''': What?!
--> '''Kronk''': Ugh!
-->'''Yzma''': This had better be good! ''(cucumber slices fall out of eyes)''
* Bucky the squirrel's expression as he threatens to wake up the jaguar pack by popping a balloon llama.
** [[DoubleSubversion What does wake up the jaguar pack, though, is Kuzco's triumphant "HAH!" when he realizes the pop didn't wake them up.]]
* The diner scene with Kuzco dressed as a woman, especially the moment when another diner patron [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar gives Pacha a leering thumb's-up]].
** The two of them acting like lovestruck newlyweds is extremely funny.
---> '''Kuzco''': Oh, whatever you say, pumpkin. You know what I like.
---> '''Pacha''': We're on our honeymoon.
---> '''Waitress''': Bless you for [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar coming out in public.]]
* This exchange after Pacha rescues Kuzco from a horde of hungry jaguars...and ends up with the two tied to opposite sides of a tree trunk:
--> '''Kuzco:''' Maybe I'm new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered a step backward. Wouldn't you say?
--> '''Pacha:''' No no, it's all right, we can figure this out!
--> ''(tree cracks, about to fall)''
--> '''Kuzco:''' I hate you.
* Kronk finding another bird for "Exotic Bird Bingo" while Yzma runs back and forth in the background being [[GoshHornet chased by bees]] that came literally out of ''nowhere''.
** What makes this scene even better is if you notice what [[SynchronizedSwarming shapes the bees take]] while chasing Yzma. They include an arrow, a tornado and a shark.
** While Kronk is recording the bird, it tweets. By [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud actually saying "tweet"]] in an incredibly flat and bored-sounding voice.
* Pacha trying to give Kuzco [[WorstAid CPR]] after the latter almost drowns and Kuzco coming to in time only to think that its a [[HoYay kiss]].
--> '''Pacha:''' For the last time, ''it was not a kiss!''
--> '''Kuzco:''' Well, ''whatever'' you call it, it was ''disgusting!'' And if you'd done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little ''kiss of life''.
** And beware the pop-out llama tongue.
** Lampshaded by a cutaway to Pacha's children later in the film:
--> '''Chaca:''' Well in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama!
--> '''Tipo:''' Yeah, like that would ever happen!
--> '''Chaca:''' It could!
--> '''Tipo:''' Nu-uh!
--> '''Chaca:''' Ya-huh!
--> '''Tipo:''' Nu-uh!
--> '''Chaca:''' Ya-HUH!
--> '''Chicha:''' Goodnight, kids.
--> '''Kids:''' Night, Mom! Nu-uh! Ya-huh! Nu-uh! Ya-huh!..
** The short-lived RunningGag of Kuzco constantly putting out the campfire that Pacha's TRYING to start. Spitting on it, shaking the water off his fur, and even [[{{RuleOfThree}} tossing Pacha's poncho onto it.]]
* At the start when Kuzco bumps into an old man whilst dancing:
--> '''Kuzco:''' D'oh! You threw off my groove!
--> '''Guard:''' I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove. *picks up old man*
--> ''(Cut to the exterior of the palace.)''
--> '''Old Man:''' [[DestinationDefenestration SOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYyyyyy!]]
* Kuzco is pushing Pacha up a cliff:
--> '''Kuzco:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Y'know, it's a good thing you're not a big fat guy or this would be really difficult!]]
* The scene immediately following the 'how to get up the cliff' brainstorming scene, where, after reaching up to grab a dangling branch, Pacha gets a bunch of scorpions running down his arm, leading to Kuzco's face eventually landing in a tiny cave on the side of the cliff, causing a swarm of bats to wake up and ''fly into his mouth''. It loses all of its comedy value being explained, but it more than deserves its place on this page.
* This little exchange:
--> '''Yzma:''' A ''llama''?!? He's supposed to be ''dead''!"
--> '''Kronk:''' Yeah. Weird...
* The following:
-->'''Yzma:''' Then I bet you weren't expecting ''this!''
-->''[hikes up her skirt]''
-->'''Pacha:''' GAAAAH!
-->'''Kuzco''' ACK! NOOOO!
-->'''Yzma:''' Ah-HA! ''[pulls out a vicious-looking dagger]''
-->'''Pacha:''' ''Phew.''
-->'''Kuzco''': Oh, Okay.
* The following between Tipo and Yzma:
--> '''Tipo:''' ''(to Yzma)'' I don't believe you're really my great-aunt. You're more like my great-great-great-
--> ''(cut to another scene, then later back to Tipo and Yzma)''
--> '''Tipo:''' -great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-
--> '''Yzma:''' Grr! All right! Are you through?
--> '''Tipo:''' ...great-great aunt.
* During all that, did anyone keep track of [[RuleOfFunny who was handling the jump rope]]...?
* "[[WasItAllALie So *all* of it was a *lie*]]?!" "Well, yeah! No, wait...Uh, yeah. Yeah, it all was a lie...Toodles!"
* Kitten Yzma at the end. "...Squeaken."
* Kitten Yzma doing an EvilLaugh, saying "I win" and getting [[TheDoorSlamsYou slammed into the wall by Kronk opening a door on her]] and saying "Whoa! What are the odds that trap door lead me out here?"
* Kuzco sing-songing "Still not listening!" to Pacha after Pacha warns him not to go into the forest.
* This dialogue:
-->'''Kronk''': Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco's poison...That p–?
-->'''Yzma''': Yes! That poison.
-->'''Kronk''': Gotcha covered.
-->'''Yzma''': Excellent! A few drops in his drink, and he'll be dead before dessert!
-->'''Kronk''': Which is a real shame, cuz it's gonna be delicious!
* Describing Yzma as "Scary beyond all reason".
-->'''Kuzco''': Hold on, was this woman scary beyond all reason?
-->'''Pacha''': Oh yeah!
-->'''Kuzco''': That's Yzma and Kronk!
* After "The Thing That Wouldn't Shut Up" tells Kuzco to select a bride from the beautiful women of the village (who, but for the hair style all look the same).
-->'''Kuzco''': Let's have a look-see . . . hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess; you have a ''great'' personality. (turns away, revealing two of the girls holding a third, furiously threatening girl, back.)
** It should be noted that the upper part of the dress the women with the ''great personality'' was wearing was partly [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar see through]] from half of her chest up. You couldn't see anything in the second scene but the implication is there.
* A lot of great moments with Kuzco narrating, too.
-->'''Kuzco-as-Narrator''': This (picture of him on throne), not this (sad llama in the rain), this (throne), not this (rain), winner (emperor), loser (llama).
** The movie stops after Pacha's sad little angst moment in his home, after coming home after being told that it's going to be destroyed. Unknown to him, he's been carting along a bag containing the newly llama'd Kuzco in it.
-->'''Kuzco''': (in the stopped film) Hey, sorry for the interruption, but I just wanted to remind you guys that this movie is about me (circles bag with a red marker), not ''him'' (crosses Pacha out, caps marker).
* Chicha is so pregnant it takes her a minute to pick up a cup off the floor when Yzma knocks it off the table.
* [[SarcasmMode "Oh it's a scary tree! I'm afraid!"]]
* After the kids beg to stay up past their bedtime,
-->'''Pacha''': Of course! Yeah, Mommy and I are just going to be staying up [[SickeninglySweethearts telling each other how much we love each other...]]
* The entire scene when Yzma first thinks up her evil scheme. From her smashing busts of Kuzco to this,
-->'''Kronk''': So, how does that work with you being fired and all?
-->'''Yzma''': The only people who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us!
-->'''Kronk''': And I'm one of those two, right?
* Kuzco saying that Yzma is living proof dinosaurs once walked the Earth.
* After Pacha tells Kuzco that he won't take him back unless he changes his mind, Kuzco walks a foot away and throws a rock at him, then denies he did it.
-->'''Kuzco''': I didn't...somebody's throwing stuff. You gonna build a fire or what?
* This exchange, but mostly for the facial expression Kuzco makes at the end of it:
--> '''Pacha''': How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you!\\
'''Kuzco''': Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. ''You're'' the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, ''eh'', Pacha?!
* The italian description of Yzma, 'la nonna brutta di Dracula', Dracula's Ugly Grandmother.
* During Kuzco's "funeral":
-->'''Yzma''': And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...
-->'''Kronk''': ''(sobbing)''
-->'''Yzma''': Taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday.
-->'''Kronk''': Poor little guy.
-->'''Yzma''': His legacy will live on in our hearts...
-->'''Kronk''': He never had a chance.
-->'''Yzma''': ...for all eternity. [[{{Beat}} (Beat)]] [[{{MoodWhiplash}} Well, he ain't gettin' any deader!]] ''(quickly changes outfit)'' Back to work. ''(the attendees quickly toss their candles away and get to renovating the palace)''
* The argument on the bridge.
-->'''Pacha''': ''(quickly punches Kuzco)'' That's for going back on your promise!
-->'''Kuzco''': ''(kicks Pacha away)'' Yeah! That's for kidnapping me and taking me to your village, which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Ah ha ha...[[{{OhCrap}} no touchy.]] ''(Pacha slams him into the cliffside)''
-->'''Pacha''': Why should I risk my life for a ''selfish'' brat like you?! I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but ooh, you proved me wrong!
-->'''Kuzco''': [[{{SarcasmMode}} Oh, boo hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.]]
-->'''Pacha''': I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over!
-->'''Kuzco''': Well, that makes you ugly ''and'' stupid.
-->'''Pacha''': Let's end this.
-->'''Kuzco''': Ladies first.
* When Kronk saves Kuzco from falling down the waterfall, and the camera zooms out a little ''too'' far in showing the height of the waterfall, to the point where it's really far away and focusing on something unrelated to the story.
--> '''Kuzco''': (narrating) Uh...what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to ''me''?? (camera quickly zooms back in)

!!''Kronk's New Groove''

* One of the only really funny moments in ''Kronk's New Groove'' -
--> '''Kronk:''' [[{{Evita}} Don't cry for me, Marge and Tina.]]
* The sequel, despite otherwise being...well, a Disney sequel, ''does'' have its moments. In particular, the ending where Papi is introduced to Mrs. Kronk. [[IAmSpartacus And Mrs. Kronk. And Mrs. Kronk. And...]] You get the idea.
* Kuzco's last-minute entrance in drag is arguably one of the better parts of the whole movie.
** Doubly so as his entrance is actually part of the above Mrs. Kronk scene...and yes, he's there as Mrs. Kronk.
--> '''Kuzco:''' Like how I weaseled myself into the movie?
* The Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
* Yzma's new underground laboratory, with a water slide entrance preceded by an Incan version of "It's A Small World".
** Even better since Kronk goes in cheering with his hands up, clearly expecting something awesome like from the last movie...and is utterly confused when he sees the "It's a Small World" robots.
-->'''Kronk:''' Huh?
-->'''Yzma:''' Wait for it...''(they suddenly go down a huge drop)''
* During the part where it's revealed that the youth potion is actually a fake and Kuzco pops up to point this out, this line after thinking that the ViewersAreMorons:
--> "Oh, you saw it already, huh? Well, smarty, I bet you didn't see THIS!" ''([[GrossUpCloseUp camera does a close up on Yzma's hairy armpit]])''

----