* ''The Lusty Argonian Maid'':
-->Crantius Colto: [[DoubleEntendre "Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear."]]
-->Lifts-Her-Tail: [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything "But it is huge! It could take me all night!"]]
-->Crantius Colto: [[RefugeInAudacity "Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time."]]
* One book in ''Skyrim'', which describes a rather epic saga, begins with a thane trying to give a vassal a quest. The vassal responds, essentially, by saying that he was about to drink enough booze to lay out a village, and have sex with a staggeringly large number of women. He's completely honest about that: at the end of his quest, he comes back and does exactly that.
* One of the heavy armor training books describes the tale of a knight who was so legendary in his skill with armor that he was considered ''more'' agile in it than out. When his wife has an affair with his assistant, the assistant tries to ensure that he won't be caught by rigging the knight's armor so that the knees will lock up and start screeching loudly after a short time of climbing the stairs. The knight, noticing his knees were locking up, overcame this by ''walking on his hands''. After dispensing with the one sleeping with his wife... well, the wife is seen a little while later, watching the knight joust in a tourney, visibly flushed and... pleased. He really was ''better'' in armor than he was out.
* The ''Ahzirr Traajijiazeri''. [[YouNeedToGetLaid Particularly its notes concerning the last time the reader made love.]]
* An Obscure Text called ''[[http://www.imperial-library.info/content/five-hundred-mighty-companions-or-thereabouts-ysgramor-returned The Five Hundred Mighty Companions or Thereabouts of Ysgramor the Returned]]'', [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin a list of Ysgramor's]] [[TheLongList 500-or-so Companions]], has a few gems hidden in it, such as: Gremfell the wicker-what, a creature no one could identify but was counted among the Mighty, Jeghwyr and her brothers Fjurlt the Going Grey, Vrolwyr who [[GenderBender changed gender on accident]], and Deilmark the Master of Oars, Hgelhelm the Outcast who once [[BestialityIsDepraved married a snow drake]] as if no one would notice, Haalj Hgelhelmson (of whose lineage the less said the better), Ysmieil the Younger, Ysmieil Named as Such Because His Parents Forgot They Used That Name Before, and Meghorj Ghorjson Bite-the-mer the Perhaps a Bear (no one really ever asked).
* The ''[[http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Jokes Jokes]]'' book from ''Daggerfall'' is a collection of, well, jokes. A few examples:
-->During the War of Betony, the Bretons in the Isle of Craghold were under siege for several days. After the island was liberated, Lord Bridwell found the ruins of the castle where a crowd of survivors were hidden away in the dark. It was going to be a difficult job freeing them, as part of the roof had collapsed trapping them all within. Bridwell stuck his head in the only opening and shouted to the Bretons below: "Are there any expectant mothers down there?"
-->"It's hard to say, your Lordship," said a young woman. "We've only been down here for a few days."

-->Yelithah told Vathysah that she was having dinner with a Dark Elf named Morleth that night.
-->"I hear he's an animal," said Vathysah. "He'll rip your dress right off you."
-->"Thank you for telling me," said Yelithah, "I'll be sure to wear an old dress."

-->"This orchard has sentimental value to me," said Mojhad, the Khajiit, to his friend, Hasillid. "Under that tree, for example, is where I first made love. And that tree, is where her mother stood, watching us."
-->"She watched you while you made love to her daughter?" said Hasillid, clearly impressed. "Didn't she say anything?"
-->"Meow."
* ''Forge, Hammer and Anvil'' is a book about the basic ingredients for the various types of armor and weapons one can make in Skyrim. Or rather, it's a grumpy smith's notes, and his smartass assistant's dictation.
-->"This ain't no book for how to be a grayt smith. So if you're reeding this, stop. It's just me own notes cawse I'm getting old and cranky and don't rember stuff."

-->"Dwarfen armor and weapons."
-->"Dwarfen scrap metal, some iron, and some leather strips. I'm gonna stop sayin leather, cawse it's always used. Are you writin what I just said? You idiot! Jus do it, don't rite it. (Thorbald is old and fat.)"

-->"That's all. You can stop writin now. I said stop!"
-->Postscript - The last page had a large streak of ink and a few splatters of blood. It would be a fair conclusion that Thorbald beat his assistant.