* Rincewind trying to swear at Twoflower in Trobian, which doesn't really have profanities:
--> You little ''[such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in the bath atop Mt. Raruaruaha during a thunderstorm and shouts that the goddess of lightning has the face of a diseased uloruaha root]''!!
* "Some pirates achieved immortality by grand deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great amounts of wealth. But the Captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying."
** A WoodyAllen reference, but hilarious nonetheless.