* Many, many lines, like this one:
-->'''Michael:''' ''(sings)'' [[Film/SummerStock C'mon forget your troubles, get happy / You better chase all you cares away...]] ''({{beat}})'' What's more boring that a queen doing a Judy Garland impression?
-->'''Donald:''' A queen doing a Bette Davis impression.
** Later:
--->'''Mike:''' ''(as Bette Davis)'' [[BrickJoke I adore cheap sentiment.]]
*
-->'''Michael:''' Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I didn't go around announcing I was a faggot.\\
'''Donald:''' That must have been before speech replaced sign language.
* Harold gets some of the best lines.
-->'''Harold:''' ''(to Emory)'' Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman.
*
-->'''Michael:''' Sunt! That's French, with a cedilla!
* Emory has his moments, even during his most touching stories.
-->'''Emory:''' ''(sighing a mixture of pride and wistfulness)'' Oh, Mary, it takes a fairy to make something pretty.
*
-->'''Cowboy:''' I lost my grip doing my chin-ups and fell on my heels and twisted my back.\\
'''Emory:''' You shouldn't wear heels when you do chin-ups!