* Connor and Murphy bickering about the rope while crawling through an air vent.
** And bickering about it again on the window-washer in the sequel.
* Also "Is it dead?"
* "I killed your cat, you druggie bitch!" "But ''why''?" "I thought it'd bring closure to our relationship."
* "SHUT your FAT ASS, Rayvie! I can't go out to buy a pack of smokes without running into NINE GUYS YOU FUCKED!"
* The whole scene with Smecker and [[spoiler: his Asian boyfriend]]
---> '''Smecker''': "What the fuck are you doing?"
---> '''[[spoiler: Boyfriend]]''': "I'm trying to cuddle."
---> '''Smecker''': "Cuddle? What a fag."
* "Who ordered the whoopass fajitas!?"
** "DIIIING DOOOOOONG MOTHAFUCKA, DING DOOOOONG!!!!!!"
* "Would somebody ''please'' come ''over here'' and-" "'''FUCK!'''" "Me up the-" "'''ASS!'''"
* The joke that Rocco tells in the first movie.
* "A black guy..." "--[[NWordPrivileges NIGGER!]]"
* The entirety of the brothers' hit against the Chinese heroin dealers.
---> '''Connor''': That's heroin.
---> '''Murphy''': [pause] How the fuck would you know?
---> '''Connor''': Fuck you, I know shit!
* The scene in the strip club in the first film, especially Rocco's "tit thing."
---> '''Connor''': '''What the fuck're ya doin'?'''
---> '''Rocco''': I'll tip her!
* Connor and Murphy messing with "Jaffar" on his first big job.
* Paul Smecker at one point in the film suggests, "This could be the start of the first international mob war." A few minutes later, his brilliant little theory is proven wrong.
* Shortly after Smecker has gone into a confessional (while drunk), Rocco has followed him in with intent to kill despite the [=McManus=] brothers' wishes. He holds the priest in the confessional at gunpoint. This is the last straw--Connor reaches through the other confessional and holds ''Rocco'' at gunpoint so that the priest doesn't get hurt. Meanwhile this exchange between Smecker and the priest occurs:
--->'''Priest:''' (still concerned for his life) Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
--->'''Smecker:''' No, they would never do that. Well -- the two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy, he might, he's kind of an idiot.
* The deleted scene from the first movie where Connor and Murphy get a call from their mother.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-HvU2sKheg The "upgrade" scene.]]
* During the investigation of the firefight with Il Duce:
---> '''Greenly:''' Hey, what if it was [[OneManArmy one guy]] with [[MoreDakka six guns?]]
* Most of the time Greenly opens his mouth in general, it's gonna be funny.
* Smecker often orders Greenly to get him coffee, though we never see Greenly go to ''get'' the coffee. However, Smecker always ends up holding a fresh cup the next scene we see him in.
* In the second movie, when Romeo meets Doc:
--->'''Doc:''' Nice to meet you, lad. They call me--FUCK! ASS!
--->'''Romeo:''' How ya doin', fuckass? I'm Romeo.
* Connor is a veritable gold mine for this entry
--->"STAY GOLD, PONY BOY!"
--->"Oops! Busy signal. Looks like we'll have to calleth back!"
--->"SHUT UP! Romeo's crying!"
* "I'm strangely comfortable with it."