->''You can try. But you'll never catch me.''
-->--'''Dr Sheldon Cooper''', ''The Einstein Approximation''

!!Season One
* [[http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sO4KO-jnybA/UBx-KA3huqI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/NSf2dYgdTB0/s320/SarcasmSign.jpg The Sarcasm Sign.]]
* Raj's long, slow hallway walk after trying to ask out Sheldon's sister.
* In "The Dumpling Paradox," Penny spends the night on Sheldon and Leonard's apartment after her friend hooks up with Howard in her apartment. After the sleeping arrangements are made, everyone goes off to bed, turning off the lights as they do. Cut to Raj, standing alone in the kitchen holding a half eaten sandwich and looking utterly confused before he awkwardly leaves.
* The whole time machine acting-out segment.
** In the same episode, at the end, Sheldon's DreamWithinADream in which he uses the time machine to travel to the future and gets eaten by Morlocks starts out as NightmareFuel, but quickly CrossesTheLineTwice when he tells Leonard he needs to move it out. The moving company workers turn out to be Morlocks.
** 'Starving Morlocks' moving company. They have jumpsuits.
* Leonard hearing a noise and coming out of his bedroom with a lightsaber.
* The end of the Physics Bowl. "Here I am, janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist. Leningrad Politeknika. Go Polar Bears."
* Sheldon's reaction when, after he gets fired from work, Leonard calls his mother to snap him out of his obessive funk. Watching him mouth the words "YOU CALLED MY MOTHER?" silently with a ''very'' offended look on his face is priceless.
* When Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj all end up almost going as TheFlash. And the series of "Oh no!"-s during said scene.
--> '''Leonard''': I call Frodo!
--> '''Everyone else''': Damn!
** Raj's suggestion that they all go as TheFlash, but standing one behind another so it "looks like we're one guy going really fast".
** "[[InsistentTerminology He's a hobbit!]] I got your back, Leonard."
* Sheldon: "Ah gravity, thou art a heartless [[PrecisionFStrike bitch]]."
* One of Leonard and Sheldon's first meetings with Penny:
--> '''Leonard''' (staring after Penny after she's left): "Our children will be smart ''and'' beautiful."
--> '''Sheldon''': "Not to mention imaginary."
* The [[BizarroUniverse Chinese Dopplegangers]] of Sheldon and Leonard at the end of "The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarisation".
* Howard and his mom are awakened by an early morning phone call:
-->'''Howardís Mother''': Well, whoís calling at this ungodly hour?
-->'''Howard''': I donít know.
-->'''Howardís Mother''': Well, ask them why theyíre calling at this ungodly hour.
-->'''Howard''': How can I ask them when Iím TALKING TO YOU?!
** It turns out to be Sheldon, so Howard pretends to be his mother, complete with voice.
-->'''Howard''': Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
-->'''Sheldon''': I need soup.
-->'''Howard''': Then call your own mother!
* This demonstration of Sheldon's SesquipedalianLoquaciousness from "The Bat Jar Conjecture":
-->'''Sheldon:''' Yes, well, I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory, and adheres to you.
* Sheldon delivers a hilarious TwoFacedAside in "The Jerusalem Duality" after Dennis Kim calls his research a "dead end" and Dr. Gablehauser tells him to show Kim around the university:
-->'''Sheldon''': You can count on us! We're on it! ''[to Kim]'' What the ''hell'' do you mean, "dead end"?!

!!Season Two
* In one episode, Leonard comes back from a date with Penny and discovers that Howard and Raj were watching him say goodbye to her on a surveillance camera, which leads to this:
-->'''Leonard:''' Sheldon, how could you sit there and let them watch my date with Penny?\\
'''Sheldon:''' [[DeadpanSnarker They're clever, Leonard. They took advantage of my complete lack of interest in what they were doing.]]
* "I possess the DNA of Creator/LeonardNimoy?! I can GROW MY OWN LEONARD NIMOY?!?"
* Penny uses a ''very'' geeky simile:
-->'''Penny:''' Leonard and Howard and Raj aren't like other guys. They're special. How can I explain this? They don't know how to use their shields.
-->'''Alicia:''' Their shields?
-->'''Penny:''' Like in Star Trek, when you go into battle, you raise the shields. (stunned pause as she realized what she said) Where the hell did that come from?
* Sheldon's attempt at trash talk:
-->[[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness I am given to understand that your mother is overweight.]] ''(Pause)'' Of course, if this is due to some glandular problem, rather than overeating and sloth, then I retract my statement.
* "It's hot in here. Must be [[Creator/SummerGlau Summer]]."
** Later, Howard's EpicFail at trying to ask her out.
* Sheldon high on Valium. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQdpZV1yRhw Too funny for words!]]
-->'''Sheldon''': "Penny told me a secret, but I'm not supposed to tell you."
-->'''Leonard''': "What's the secret?"
-->'''Sheldon''': "Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is ok with it, but we can't tell Dad."
-->'''Leonard''': "Not that secret! The ''other'' secret!"
-->'''Sheldon''': *deep voice* "I'M BATMAN!"
* Sheldon and Stuart arguing over [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_1zoX5Ax9U Gradations of wrongness.]]
-->'''Sheldon''': I am asserting in the event that Batman's death proves permanent, the original Robin, Dick Grayson, is the logical successor to the Bat cowl.
-->'''Stuart''': [[StealthInsult Ooh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.]]
-->'''Sheldon''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint More wrong?]] Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
-->'''Stuart''': Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.
** Particularly notable because so few people ''ever'' catch Sheldon in a logical fallacy.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkzNiqXWFzI Sheldon accidentally gets a date.]]
* [[http://i29.tinypic.com/106g84x.gif "We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman!"]]
* Sheldon's money is hidden in the hollowed out buttocks of an action figure, whose identity will remain secret for his own protection.
** But if you ever find yourself short, there's always a couple of twenties in Comicbook/GreenLantern's {{ass|Shove}}.
* The first episode with Leonard's mother, Raj and Howard were teasing Leonard about all sorts of childhood issues. Leonard got back at them by directing his mother's psychoanalyst nature at them. Her conclusion of Raj and Howard being in an "[[HoYay Ersatz]] [[HeterosexualLifePartners Homosexual Relationship]]" leaves the two almost catatonically stunned silent (Raj even more so) and Leonard's victorious smile/[[{{Troll}} Troll face]] just making the scene.
** And when she's gone, they start arguing LikeAnOldMarriedCouple.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDcrCtSfGCo Space toilet + Mrs. Wolowitz's meat loaf]]
* Penny screwing with Sheldon as he does his knocking routine in the season finale:
-->'''Sheldon:''' *knock knock knock* Penny?
-->'''Penny:''' *knock knock knock* Sheldon?
-->*Sheldon looks puzzled*
-->'''Sheldon:''' *knock knock knock* Penny?
-->'''Penny:''' *knock knock knock* Sheldon?
** This goes back and forth, faster and faster each time, culminating in Penny finally opening the door wearing a mischievous smile on her face.
* [[BriefAccentImitation "Sure, why not! And after the sun's down, we can all pile in my pick-up and go skinny-dippin' down at the crick. 'Cause today's the day to STOP MAKING SENSE!"]]
* "Here, drink-slash-eat this [a stick of butter in a cup of hot cocoa]."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hesQ6ujrfqQ Sheldon trying out a driving simulator.]]
--> '''Leonard''': Awww... the pet store?
* "''The Ballad of Leonard Hofstadter''", sung by Sheldon, after Leonard gets Penny's ex, Kurt, to pay back the money he owes her.
--> '''Sheldon''': *''Sings''* There once was a brave lad named Leonard, with a fi-fi-fiddle-dee-dee. He faced a fearsome giant, while Raj just wanted to pee.
* One of the rare occasions where an incredibly funny moment is also a TearJerker: After Leonard reveals he built a hugging machine to use on himself as a kid, due to [[IceQueen his mother giving him no affection at all]], he also notes his dad used to borrow it very often.
* Penny accidentally shoots Sheldon's "spot" on the couch with a paintball gun...after attempts to clean it up go wrong, Penny tries to solve the problem by turning the cushion over. Leonard notes there's no "butt-print" so Penny sits in the spot. In a great bit of ComicallyMissingThePoint:
-->'''Leonard''': It's too small and too...perfect.
-->'''Penny'''(grinning): ...THANK YOU!
-->'''Leonard'''(also grinning): You're welcome...
* The response by Leonard(and later the other three guys) when asked if he remembers Kurt(Penny's ex-boyfriend): Holding a hand way above his head to indicate how big he is.
* Secret agent laser obstacle chess!
* Leonard telling Sheldon that "[Starfleet] General Order 104 Section A does not apply in this situation" because "THIS IS NOT STAR TREK!"
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXd20B2Oj5U Sheldon high as a kite after just a few cups of coffee.]]
-->'''Penny:''' We should've let him go to bed.

!!Season Three
* Leonard gives Penny a preserved snowflake from the North Pole. Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming.
-->'''Leonard''': It'll last forever. I preserved it in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetal resin...
-->'''Penny''': Oh, my God. That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me that I didn't understand!
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5oc-70Fby4 Raj and Sheldon's... offbeat montage]].
* "WHEATOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!"
* Pretty much the entirety of "The Adhesive Duck Deficiency", but a couple highlights:
** Leonard, Raj, and Howard high.
*** Especially the end where Leonard and Raj are rolling on the ground laughing at Howard's expense over an embarrassing story he reveals to them.
*** Also, Raj trying to slow down the Earth. With his mind.
** Sheldon [[spoiler:[[ThanksForTheMammary accidentally getting to second base with Penny]].]]
--->'''Penny''': Is that my arm?
--->'''Sheldon''': It doesn't feel like an arm...
--->'''Penny''': Then maybe you should ''let it go''...
--->'''Sheldon'''(doing so): All righty.
*** Sheldon attempting to be "normal" and comfort Penny. "There there... Sheldon's here."
* The whole episode "The Bozeman Reaction", too.
* [[TwoWordsObviousTrope Two Words:]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3Bpukvdbso Ballpit Bazinga!!]]
** Made even funnier by the fact that Creator/JimParsons is [[{{Corpsing}} totally cracking up]] at the end.
* Sheldon appears on Creator/{{NPR}} to explain magnetic monopoles, while [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHQVKu2guWQ Kripke fills his office with helium]].
** Later on, Sheldon is sulking in his bed while Leonard tries to plant an idea of revenge.
--> '''Leonard:''' Are you really admitting defeat?\\
'''Sheldon:''' [[{{Determinator}} I never admit defeat.]]\\
'''Leonard:''' Good.\\
'''Sheldon:''' However, on a completely unrelated topic, [[NoExceptYes I am never getting out of this bed again.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiSGsHT1vLo Sheldon's drunken stand-up act]]
* In "The Gorilla Experiment":
** Sheldon and Raj playing ''[[VideoGame/MarioKart Mario Kart Wii]]''.
--->'''Raj:''' Ha-ha! Eat my dust, racially stereotypical plumber! ''(The race ends and Raj wins.)''
--->'''Sheldon:''' That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
--->'''Raj:''' And a cow, and a penguin. Face it, dude, whether it's a real car or a virtual cartoon car, you can't drive.
--->'''Sheldon:''' I just need a little more practice.
--->'''Raj:''' What you need is cheat codes, motor skills, and a magic genie who grants wishes to little boys who ''suck'' at Mario Kart.
** Sheldon tries to teach Penny physics, but ends up only confusing her (Penny is revealed to have never taken a science class before). At last, a very confused Penny breaks down in tears, resulting in this exchange:
---> '''Sheldon:''' "Why are you crying?"
---> '''Penny:'''''(exasperated)'' "BECAUSE I'M STUPID!"
---> '''Sheldon:''' "Well, that's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, ''I'' cry because ''others'' are stupid and it makes me sad."
* Raj in a bad mood:
-->'''Leonard:''' "I've always been a little confused about this... why don't Hindus eat beef?"\\
'''Raj:''' "We believe cows are gods."\\
'''Sheldon:''' "Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be ''like'' gods."\\
'''Raj:''' "Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!"
* Sheldon gets a summons due to a traffic fine he got helping Penny out when she dislocated her shoulder in the shower, Sheldon denies any wrongdoing, meanwhile, Raj has been wearing a sound effect t-Shirt and playing sound effects the whole episode.
-->'''Sheldon''': I'm not going to pay a fine, that would imply I'm guilty!
-->'''Howard''': But you ''are'' guilty.
-->'''*Raj plays the LawAndOrder "Dun Dun" sound effect, which everyone laughs at*'''
-->'''Howard''': That one I liked.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-RsB4a4ogc I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing!]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZmb1unJ3Ow Spock's body with Mr T's head]].
--> '''Leonard''': Here's Spock's head with no body. Here's Mr T's body with no head. Ah, here it is, Spock's body with Mr T's head! "I pity the fool who's illogical!"
* Stuart's crowning moment of sadness describing the 'big night' he has planned- sharing a tin of tuna with a cat he doesn't own that may or may not stand him up.
* Sheldon's attempt at trash-talking along with Stuart's deadpan reaction:
-->'''Sheldon''': You bowl like your mama. Unless, of course, she bowls well. In which case, you bowl nothing like her.
-->'''Stuart''': [[SarcasmMode Oh. Ouch.]]
* Leonard's over-the-top double-take reaction to Sheldon's "I never get my way" comment in "The Precious Fragmentation".
* Penny shrieking and whacking Sheldon right in the nose after he tries to steal the One Ring from around her neck while she's asleep.
-->'''Leonard:''' What was that?
-->'''Penny:''' Sheldon tried to take the Ring and I punched him.
-->'''Leonard:''' That's my girl.

!!Season Four
* The entirety of "The Robotic Manipulation".
-->'''Raj''': You slipped and fell into a robot hand?\\
'''Howard''': Yes.\\
'''Raj''': Penis first?\\
'''Howard''': Yes, now help me!\\
'''Leonard''': I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
** Later, at the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWSjtzX8Rmw#t=0m50s hospital]], the nurse absolutely steals the show with her [[DeadpanSnarker snarkiness]]:
--> '''Nurse''': What ''is'' this ?
--> '''Howard''': It's a robot arm.
--> '''Nurse''': ...Where's the rest of the robot?
--> '''Howard''': I only built the arm.
--> '''Nurse''': (smirks) 'Cause that's all you needed, right?
--> '''Howard''': Can you please just help me?!
--> '''Nurse''': Alright, alright, hang on, stay calm... (loudly over the intercom) I need an orderly with a wheelchair, I've got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.
--> '''Howard''': Do you think you could be a little more discreet?
--> '''Nurse''': [[SarcasmMode I'm sorry]]. We don't have a code for "robot hand grasping a man's penis."
* Howard trolling Raj:
-->'''Penny''': How does (Raj) know I jog?
-->'''Howard''': Oh, he watches you from his car with high-powered binoculars.
-->(Raj's eyes widen)
-->'''Penny''': Oh, my God! That is so creepy!
-->'''Howard''': I KNOW!
-->(Raj whispers in Howard's ear)
-->'''Howard''': [[BlatantLies Oh, and he says]] ''[[BlatantLies he's not gonna stop]]''.
-->(Raj's eyes widen again and he whispers in Howard's ear again)
-->'''Howard''': (to Raj) Then see a shrink and figure out how to talk to women!
* Howard's mood-setting preliminaries to ADateWithRosiePalms in 'The Hot Troll Deviation' including easy listening music, fancy footwork and ambient lighting (courtesy of crossed lightsabers hung above his bed).
** Creator/GeorgeTakei and Creator/KateeSackhoff doing a GoodAngelBadAngel routine regarding whether Howard should make the move on Bernadette.
* The entire exchange between Raj and Sheldon regarding the giant desk.
--> '''Sheldon''': Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
--> '''Raj''': Given that its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on!
** [[InherentlyFunnyWords Brobdingnagian]]. Especially how it turns into a bit of a RunningGag. ''Brob-ding-nag-ian''.
* Sheldon's reaction to Amy asking him to meet her mother: he politely says he'd love to, turns off the webcam... and then runs down the stairs in a wild panic calling for Leonard to help him.
* Leonard invokes the Girlfriend Pact with Howard and says he wants a woman in his life like what Howard has. Howard's mother is off screen on the toilet and talking loudly about how much liquid is pouring out of her. Leonard quickly points out he meant Bernadette, not Howard's mother.
* Sheldon's 25 cats!
* Sheldon and Amy pretending to be in a actual relationship on a video call with Amy's mother.
** "Time to make love to your daughter's vagina."
* Sheldon and Amy's experiment on memetics throughout "The Herb Garden Germination", where in reaction to gossip of impending break up between Howard and Bernadette led to them getting engaged ended that scene with this particular gem:
--> '''Sheldon''': Perhaps your talk of my sexual prowess renewed her faith in love.
** Emphasis on the fact that it's '''SHELDON''' saying that.
** The way Amy tries to spread rumors.
--->'''Amy:''' Sheldon and I engaged in sexual intercourse, in other news, I'm starting an herb garden, mum's the word, gotta go! ''*leaves*''
** This exchange;
--> '''Amy''': I described your love-making as aloof, but effective.
--> '''Sheldon''': Oh, I wish you hadn't have done that... It'll make me a ChickMagnet and I'm busy enough as it is.
** Plus this little gem between Penny and a completely plastered Raj:
---> '''Penny''': Sheldon and Amy had sex!
---> '''Raj''': '''Shut. Your. Ass!'''
** The ending.
---> '''Amy:''' ''(at Penny's door)'' I'm carrying Sheldon's child, mum's the word, bye!
---> ''(she walks down the stairs, and bumps into Leonard at the bottom, who has his cell phone in hand)''
---> '''Leonard:''' YOU'RE ''PREGNANT?!''
* "Sometimes your movements are so lifelike, I forget you're not a real boy."
* [[JustForPun Oh, the Humanities!]]
* "The Toast Derivation" revealed that Sheldon once got punched by Bill Gates for saying: "Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa, you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista."
* Pretty much all of the Sheldon storyline with his group of new friends consisting of Barry Kripke, Zac and Stuart starting with their introductions 'Hello, my name's Stuart and what I'm most hoping to get out of this evening is a hot shower', a duet by Zac and Kripke of 'Don't go [[ElmuhFuddSyndwome bweaking my heawt]]' and culminating with them plus Stuart (in a towel) singing "Walking on sunshine"[[note]]And proving, once and for all, why none of them ever embarked on a singing career[[/note]].
** And then LevarBurton [[BrickJoke walks in the door...]]
* Sheldon's ImagineSpot where after Leonard asks if he can change the temperature settings on the thermostat, Sheldon imagines himself as The Flash, running to the Grand Canyon, screaming and running back to Pasadena.
** From that same episode (The Justice League Recombination) Sheldon's variation on his usual "knock knock knock Penny" bit. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKd5A4oJByY "I'm the Flash, I just knocked thirty-thousand times."]]
** And Howard's Batman voice, especially when Penny punches him in the arm.
--->'''Howard:''' [whiny] Ow! ... I mean, [Batman voice] ''Ow.''
** Raj's Aquaman costume complete with integral seahorse- 'I've said it before... Aquaman sucks!'
** When Penny says she won't go, Zack says he won't go without her, so Sheldon proposes switching to their ''WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies'' costumes. Raj calls Kermit, but Sheldon disagrees.
--->'''Sheldon:''' I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.\\
'''Raj:''' Aw, Scooter sucks! He's the Aquaman of Muppet Babies.
* In "The Agreement Dissection," Amy (drunkenly) offers to have her pet monkey assassinate Priya for Sheldon:
--> "If I can train a monkey to smoke, I can sure as Hell train him to shoot a poison blowdart, and no jury would convict us because [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys PEOPLE LOVE MONKEYS]]!"
* In the fourth season finale, [[spoiler: Penny finds herself waking up in the morning in the same bed as Raj. Freaked out she insists that they completely forget that anything happened. Raj nods silently in agreement, having sobered up since last night. Penny asks incredulously "Really... ''still'' can't talk to me?!"]]
* Any time Leonard's mom shows up. Especially when she mentions Howard and Raj's "latent homosexual tendencies".
** When Sheldon thinks that Amy wants to take their relationship to the next level, he changes his and Leonard's address:
---> '''Sheldon''': Oh, I explained my predicament to our letter-carrier. His exact words were "I gotcher back, Jack. Bitches be crazy."
* In the fourth season finale, when Raj is Sheldon's temporary roommate:
--> '''Penny''': What happened to Leonard?
--> '''Sheldon''': The same thing that happened to Homo erectus: he was replaced by a superior model.
--> '''Raj''': [[ThatCameOutWrong I'm the new Homo in town!]]
* "Forbidded it?"
** "Forbodded it?"
** "The word is forbade."
*** "Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."
* "I think that's your cue."
** "Oh... That bitch!"
** From the same episode, same scene: "I don't have an urge to fling my waste."
** Then later: "Amy was right, I ''do'' feel the urge to fling my poop at her."
* When [[NerdNanny Penny]] and Priya are finished with the longest, most awkward stair-climb ''ever'', Priya goes into Leonard's apartment and Penny, unlocking her door looks back and says, "Amy was right. I ''do'' wanna fling my poo at her".
* The second-to-last scene of "The Love Car Displacement": The episode had been full of growing tension between the characters and it all comes to a head in a Q&A panel at which the scientists in the group ([[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and their friend Howard]]) are giving a presentation, with Penny in the audience. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJvqSbsPRj8 The scene is here]]. [[note]] All you really need to know about the episode if you haven't seen it is that Howard and Bernadette got into a lover's spat over her ''enormous'' ex-boyfriend, and Raj cock-blocked Leonard.[[/note]] The panel...it doesn't go so well.
** When Sheldon is the voice of reason, something has GoneHorriblyWrong.
* The Howard/Raj accidental kiss.
* Sheldon's emotional breakdown when he's learning how to act from Penny. Penny's first response is to call his mother and say "I think I broke your son." and puts Sheldon on the phone.
--> '''Sheldon"'': Mommy I love you! Don't let Spock take me to the future!
* Penny's reaction to a disheveled Leonard returning home in "The Benefactor Factor": She gives him a knowing smile, greets him with "Good morning, ''slut''", and confirms that she ''knows'' the "walk of shame" when she sees it...
** At the end of the episode, the whole cafeteria gives an embarrassed Leonard a standing ovation...and as the scene fades out, you hear one last line:
-->'''Howard''': How was she?
* In "The Desperation Emanation", Amy asks Sheldon to be presented to her mother as her boyfriend. Sheldon asks Leonard what to do. This leads to this exchange:
--> '''Leonard''': Let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?''"
--> '''Sheldon''': Screwed.
* When Howard tells Leonard that he's getting back together with Bernadette:
--> '''Howard''': I think Iím gonna take her to miniature golf.
--> '''Leonard''': Ah. Well, I guess for you guys thatís like regular golf.
--> '''Howard''': [[HypocriticalHumor Short jokes? Really? Youíre, like, a quarter of an inch taller than me.]]
--> '''Leonard'''(laughing): Yeah, and donít you forget it.
* Howard's mother in general. Gems include her explaining her inability to answer the door with the delightful information she's conducting a bowel cleanse and is "like an upside down volcano" ("Holy moly, how much liquid can be in one tuchus?!") and when Howard tells her he has some news... "I hope it's good news because I've got nothing but disappointment in here!"
* In "The Boyfriend Complexity", the sheer amount of schadenfreude Leonard gets out of posing as Penny's boyfriend while her dad is visiting.
-->'''Leonard:''' Hey, lovebug.
-->'''Penny:''' Shut up. You know what Iíve been doing for the last hour?
-->'''Leonard:''' Mm, dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter" in a notebook?
-->'''Penny:''' Listening to my father go on and on about what a great guy you are.
-->'''Leonard:''' ''(completely serious)'' Well you got to admit, I am, Iím delightful.
-->'''Penny:''' Why are you making this so difficult?
-->'''Leonard:''' Itís not difficult for me, Iím having fun!
* Sheldon has been the butt of many practical jokes throughout the series but [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2MsNoar600 Howard's card trick prank]] was truly inspired. The crown jewel is undoubtedly bringing Penny in on it.
-->'''Penny:''' Aww, he has the same look my little nephew gets when he can't figure out how I got his nose.

!!Season Five
* Two words: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpOqnSc9fPU Internet Kissing]]
** Leonard's "what the hell" expression as he watches sells it.
* After Sheldon got himself purposely ''slaughtered'' in paintball due to his incompetence as a leader, it ended up inspiring the rest of his friends to take back the game. "If there is going to be a Church of Sheldon, this is where it began."
** Made even better by exactly ''how'' he gets himself slaughtered. "Geology isn't a real science!"
* Sheldon's "Look everyone! Creator/WilWheaton is my friend!" Followed shortly by "Creator/BrentSpiner, you are now my mortal enemy."
--> '''WilWheaton''': Don't worry. It doesn't take up a whole lot of your time.
* Leonard's attempt at "prayer":
--> '''Leonard''': It's probably a little late to ask you to make me taller...
** Penny gives him the most adorable little look after he says that.
* In "The Good Guy Fluctuation", after being the victim of many pranks throughout the episode, Sheldon finally gets his payback on Leonard in a big way when he springs out of the couch in zombie makeup.
--> '''Sheldon''': Bazinga, punk. Now we're even.
** From the same episode.
---> '''Sheldon''': It's me, Sheldon, Mrs. Wolowitz.
---> '''Howard''': That's not my mom. It's Bernadette.
---> '''Sheldon''': Really? That's very unsettling.
** This is topped moments later when Sheldon, forgetting the ElectricJoybuzzer he's wearing, performs a FacePalm after getting pranked again.
---> '''Sheldon''': Oh, how could I be so stuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuU- *falls over*
* Sheldon's reaction to seeing the bluejay [[FelonyMisdemeanor sitting in his spot]] in "The Ornithophobia Diffusion".
--> '''Raj''': That is one tough birdie.
** Leonard and Penny's [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple Old Married Couple]] fight got pretty creative.
--->'''Penny:''' "Maybe she would like to know that half of your dirty movies... [[{{Hentai}} are animated]]!"
** After Bernadette catches the bird, Sheldon tells her to carefully "flush it down the toilet".
* Sheldon unveiling the Relationship Agreement to Amy, enumerating, iterating, and codifying the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper (hereinafter known as "the boyfriend") and Amy Farrah Fowler (hereinafter known as "the girlfriend"). Not only is it completely in character for Sheldon, but Amy is visibly moved by the whole ordeal (Mayim Bialik hits just the right tone between deadpan and getting choked up).
-->'''Amy:''' "It's so romantic!"\\
'''Sheldon:''' "Mutual indemnification always is."
** There's an extra layer in that scene, depending on when Sheldon drafted the Relationship Agreement. If he did it after getting confirmation from Amy to be his girlfriend, then he drafted a 31-page paper in the less than two hours, it's awesome. If he did it before he asked Amy, then he wanted her to be his girlfriend for quite some time, it's heartwarming.
* Sheldon after a night of snuggling with Amy:
-->'''Sheldon:''' (To Howard and Leonard) "The two of you need to get your women in line!"\\
'''Leonard:''' "...what?"\\
'''Sheldon:''' "Last night, I was strongarmed into a night of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler. This on a night I had reserved for solving the space time geometry in higher spin gravity... and building my {{Lego}} [[StarWars Death Star]]. And why? Because your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette, went shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy. An action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory or my LEGO fun time!"\\
'''Howard:''' "What do you want us to do about it?"\\
'''Sheldon:''' "You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence... get your women in line! You make them apologize to Amy and set things right. I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle bunny!"\\
'''Leonard:''' "Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend."\\
'''Sheldon:''' "You [[ContinuityNod invited her to lunch four years ago]]... everything about her is on you! [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration You make it so!]]"
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pWkv_a6dk4 Same episode, Amy convinces Sheldon to cuddle]]. "Just saying, second base is ''right'' there."
* Amy freaking out over receiving a "''tiara tiara tiara!''" in "The Shiny Trinket Maneuver".
-->'''Amy:''' Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparent manip- ''*pulls the tiara out of the bag*'' Ohhhhhh, it's a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara! *Rushes to Penny* Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me. Put it on me.
-->'''Penny:''' ''*places the tiara on Amy's head*'' You look beautiful!
-->'''Amy:''' ''[[MotorMouth OF COURSE I DO! I'M A PRINCESS AND THIS IS MY TIARA!]]'' ''*grabs Sheldon's face and passionately kisses him, then hugs him*''
-->'''Sheldon''': ''*to Penny*'' You're right, the tiara was too much.
** From the same episode, Howard's magic show. Especially the exchanges between Bernadette and the kid who's not getting any cake.
* Leonard showing up Sheldon in "The Friendship Contraction" when the power goes out and Sheldon suggests using glow sticks. Leonard takes out his full-size lightsaber, and tops it with a ''Film/CrocodileDundee'' ShoutOut.
-->'''Leonard:''' You call that a glow stick? ''That's'' a glow stick.
* From "The Rothman Disintegration":
** Sheldon Cooper & Barry Kripke playing [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpHjX0OyrX0 basketball]] against each other to decide who gets Professor Rothman's office.
** Leonard, Raj and Howard while watching Sheldon and Barry play.
-->'''Leonard''': You know those terrible things bullies used to do to us?
-->'''Raj''': Yeah.
-->'''Leonard''': I get it.
** From the same episode, Amy buys Penny a huge painting and at the end of the episode reveals a very uncomfortable secret about the already awkward gift.
-->'''Amy:''' I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality. \\
'''Penny:''' Yeah, good call. \\
'''Amy:''' But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges. \\
'''Penny:''' You're talking about the painting, right? \\
'''Amy:''' [[SureLetsGoWithThat Sure]].
* Raj voicing his envy at his coupled friends, stating that
--> Even if I get one [a girlfriend] someday, I'd still be the guy who got a girl ''after Sheldon Cooper''!
** And right after
---> '''Penny''': See, Amy, ''that's'' how a girl makes a scene.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0TAuLJyFJo "Bongo solo!"]]
** Leonard's revenge for the Bongo solo.
--->'''Leonard''': Aww, he looks so peaceful. (Bangs on Bongos). SHELDON LIKE TO SLEEP WHILE I PLAY THE BONGOS!
--->'''Amy''': That was kind of uncalled for.
--->'''Leonard''': Nah, it was called for.
** Or earlier:
--->'''Sheldon''' (*offscreen): I PLAY BONGOS, WALKIN' DOWN THE STAIRS!
--->(*CRASH, BANG, THUMP, WALLOP. Leonard and Penny look to each other in horror)
--->'''Sheldon''': NEVER PLAY BONGOS, WALKIN' DOWN THE STAIRS!
* "Let me try [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tvdCHi4Qac gangsta]]. Hellz naw!"
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1RZwOlSg5o&feature=related whip]] app.
-->'''Leonard''': (laughing) I was wrong, that's still funny.
* [[TwoWords Three Words]]. French. Maid. Outfit!
--> '''Sheldon''': What, you've never seen a man try to get a meeting with StephenHawking before?!
** Then, when he finally manages to get said meeting:
---> '''Sheldon:''' Oh gosh golly, I made a boo-boo... and I gave it to Stephen Hawking. ''*faints*''
---> '''StephenHawking:''' *Beat* Oh great, another fainter.
*** Also, Bernadette's summation of Sheldon.
--> '''Bernadette:''' He's only mean because that part of his brain that should know when he's being mean is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.
* Leonard finally finds out about Sheldon seeing Penny naked after a few seasons of it going entirely unmentioned.
-->'''Sheldon''': Oh relax, it was only her bottom and her breast.
* Evidently, Leonard's eyebrows are "stupid".
** Raj's entire relationship with Siri, as well as Barry's attempt at using her, from the same episode.
** Barry asking Siri to "wecommend a westauwant".
* Bernadette shoots down Howard's dream.
-->Boo, hoo. You're not going to space!
* Penny's EPIC trolling of Leonard in "The Transporter Malfunction". She gets Sheldon a vintage Star Trek transporter toy and gets Leonard...a label maker. Leonard's obviously disappointed and tries to play it off("Also mint-in-box!") before Penny reveals that she got him a transporter toy too. At that point, Leonard literally THROWS the label maker away as he grabs the box out of her hands. "AWESOME!"
* Leonard takes Penny out to a shooting range. Things go awry.
-->'''Leonard''': *''Meekly, as Penny helps him up the stairs''* So I've got a gunshot wound...that's pretty badass...
** Made funnier because Penny points out it's actually just his ''shoe'' that has the gunshot wound. He just has a small graze on his foot.
* Bernadette's HeelRealization in the "Russian Rocket Reaction" that she betrayed Howard by telling his mother about him going to space;
--> '''Bernadette''': Oh god, I took our love and threw it under his bus-sized mother!
* Leonard is not "some kind of nerd". He is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swbqPY4r9Ks the King of Nerds!]]
-->'''Penny:''' What does that mean?
-->'''Leonard:''' It means if anyone displeases me I don't help them set up their printer.

!!Season Six
* "GO SPORTS!"
* "Oi. I can't believe these people won the Cold War."
* The best description of Howard's mother ever.
-->'''Dimitri''': Wolowitz, you have a call.
-->'''Howard''': Who's it from?
-->'''Dimitri''': A woman who says she's your mother, but sounds like your father.
** Her demanding to know why Howard hasn't send a postcard to her. From the ''International Space Station''.
* This exchange:
-->'''Bernadette''': You think you'll ever get married someday?
-->'''Amy''': Not just someday. In exactly four years. But don't tell Sheldon, he's still a flight risk.
* Raj, as mythic as ever:
-->'''Raj''': [[DoubleEntendre We fill each other's holes.]]
* Sheldon [[EpicFail failing miserably]] at Pictionary.
** And wrestling. With a TakeThatKiss to boot.
* [[spoiler: It may have been a dream but]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B9X1s5mfW4g#t=50s Santa's Christmas gift to Sheldon was hilarious, first he tells him to close his eyes.]]
-->'''Sheldon''': I hope it's trains.
-->'''Santa''': Oh it's better than a train.
-->'''Sheldon''': Two trains?
-->'''Santa''': Better.
-->'''Sheldon''': I'm getting three trains.
-->'''Santa''' ''*While holding a flaming torch*'': Okay! Open 'em!
-->''*Santa has a cannon pointing at Sheldon*''
-->'''Santa''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext This is for leaving me in the dungeon to be eaten alive by ogres!]]
-->'''Sheldon''': Wait! Hey! Hang on, in my defense...
-->'''Santa''': Ho Ho Ho, you big dork! ''*Fires cannon*''
* Howard and Bernadette going to the Halloween party as [[Franchise/TheSmurfs Papa Smurf and Smurfette]].
* Sheldon's costume, introducing [[RaggedyAnn Raggedy]] [[Franchise/StarWars C-3PO!]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioN6g4kGJCA "What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck. ... neener neener."]]
* Sheldon gets a pretty new assistant Alex.
-->'''Amy:''' Sheldon told me he had a new assistant named Alex. He didn't mention that Alex was a girl.
-->'''Penny:''' *utterly deadpan* Maybe he didn't notice.
-->'''Amy:''' You're right. I don't have to worry about Sheldon.
-->'''Penny:''' *cracking up* No, you don't.
* This bit:
-->'''Amy:''' I feel like I'm in high school again.
-->'''Bernadette:''' I know. Doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like me.
-->'''Amy:''' (grinning gleefully) It's finally working!
* Drunk Sheldon:
-->'''Sheldon:''' (knock knock knock) Wil Wheaton! (knock knock knock) Wil Wheaton! (long pause) Wait, how many was that?
** Also:
--->'''Sheldon:''' I'll tell you (telling Wil Wheaton why he's at his house). I'm from Texas. Need I say more?
** And:
-->'''Sheldon''': "As a matter of idle curiosity, which of your shrubberies do you feel would benefit from a thorough vomiting? Never mind, Iíll choose."

-->'''Wil Wheaton''': "Oh, Sheldon...do you really think weíre gonna fight?"
-->'''Sheldon''': "My fists are not up here because Iím [[MilkingTheGiantCow milking a giant invisible cow.]]"

* The fake video Sheldon makes to scare Raj and Howard when they spy on his private time.
** TheReveal as to what Sheldon does in that storage room: [[spoiler:Playing hackysack.]]
* "...and they're all taller than me, WHY IS EVERYONE TALLER THAN ME?!?"
* Bernadette trying to be romantic and sexy with Howard while horribly sick with a cold. (waking up from a 5 second Benadril nap) "Oh Howard, that was wonderful!" In addition, it was hilarious to hear the squeaky-voiced Bernadette so congested. Melissa Rauch is a gifted comedic actress and that was the first opportunity for her to really show her chops on the show.
** "That was short and gross... now I know how she feels."
* Amy to Bernadette before taking Penny to the emergency room:
--> '''Amy:''' Come on, I'll show you where the tow truck scratched my car.
--> '''Bernadette:''' Oh, the tow truck couldn't have scratched it.
--> '''Amy:''' How do you know that?
--> '''Bernadette:''' BECAUSE I DID THAT!
** The entire satellite war between Amy and Bernadette is incredible, but the absolute peak was:
---> '''Bernadette:''' Gosh, Amy, I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
---> '''Amy:''' Well, at least when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his ''mother''.
** The great part is Penny is trying to keep the peace by changing the subject, but after the above exchange, all she can say is a dejected "damn."
**** Even better. Look carefully. Penny thinks Bernadette's "theoretical sex life" line is ActuallyPrettyFunny.
* After finding out Amy's being feigning sick (so she could trick Sheldon into touching/bathing her), Sheldon suggests an old-school discipline: spanking Amy for lying to him. She turns on some R&B.
-->(Sheldon lightly spanks her)
-->'''Amy''': Oh my!
-->'''Sheldon''': You're not supposed to be enjoying it!
-->'''Amy''': ....Well, maybe you should spank me harder!
-->'''Sheldon''': ....Maybe I will! *does so*
-->'''Amy''': Woo-hoo!
* Penny teaching a very squeamish Howard how to gut a fish.
* The absurdity of GIANT JENGA.
* Stuart trying to help the girls in the comic book store and telling the other (male) customers in the store to stop staring ("It's nothing we haven't seen in movies and drawings!"):
--> '''Stuart:''' Well, there's manga, comic books, graphic novels - ''I swear I will turn a hose on you!''
** He whirls around to snap at the guys and then turns back to the girls with a polite smile on his face, then reacts with horror when Amy asks which superhero is "best" - "You can't say that sort of thing in here! Do you wanna start a ''rumble''?!"
* Sheldon reprograms the GPS with his voice (and adds his usual little idiosyncrasies and factoids in as well). Howard's response? "Oh, look, Leonard, there's a bridge... ''Drive off it.''"
** TheStinger at the end revealing the carjackers actually enjoy Sheldon's brain teasers.
* Penny and the mimosas.
* The entire subplot with the girls in "The Bakersfield Expedition". While the boys are away they read a couple comics to see what's so interesting about them, and come to the conclusion they're stupid. They then get into an argument about the exact meaning of [[ComicBook/TheMightyThor only Thor being able to lift his hammer]], and in their search for answers read the comics again then head into Leonard's apartment to start reading the comics there, all the while arguing semantics over what qualifies as "lifting" the hammer and how it's decided one is worthy of doing so. The arguments being tossed perfectly mirror the frequent jousting the boys got into in earlier seasons, and when they come home and hear what's going on, they're stunned by it.
** "YOU DON'T KNOW HIS LIFE!"
* More from the above episode, after getting their car stolen the guys are walking across the desert road hot and miserable. Sheldon (dressed as Data) goes to give a RousingSpeech comparing their plight to the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' crew exploring an unknown planet. Just when it seems like he's about to inspire them to move on a car drives by and a guy throws his smoothie out at him staining him and his outfit. His response? "I hate this planet!"
* Penny absolutely spazzing out when Sheldon [[spoiler: admitted that he may consider a physical relationship with Amy at some point in the future.]]
* Everything with Raj and Howard's mother in "The Spoiler Alert Segmentation." A few highlights:
-->'''Howard:''' Dude, you have to leave now or you never will.
-->'''Raj:''' Man, you're being paranoid.
-->'''Howard:''' Oh yeah? Where are your clothes and shoes?
-->'''Raj:''' There over there on the...(see his clothes are gone) [[OhCrap chair]].
** Later on...
--->'''Howard's mother:''' Rajesh, I drew you a bath.
--->'''Raj:''' (to Howard on phone) She's not going to bathe me herself, is she?
--->'''Howard:''' Gee, buddy, I really wish I could tell you no.
** After Howard and Raj finish talking...
--->'''Bernadette:''' Should we go back and try to help him?
--->'''Howard:''' Too late now. We'll see him at his bar mitzvah.
* Raj and Lucy's texting date at the library, a safe place they can talk and interact. It's a clever way for Raj to get around his mutism, but it manages some hysterical bits with the idea, including the autocorrect mistake that Lucy designs [[ThatCameOutWrong Porn websites vs. PROM websites]].
-->'''Raj:''' (via text) It would help you to remember that I have an adorable accent.
* Raj asks Howard and Bernadette to take care of his dog while he's away. Cue standard sitcom plot of missing dog. Someone else finds the dog, Raj recovers it, and then takes Howard to task over the incident. [[BewareTheNiceOnes Then Bernadette]] fires back at Raj, berating him for knowing that he had the dog "for hours" and didn't tell them. "[[GoToYourRoom Now go and think about what you did!]]", to which Howard replies, "I think you'd make an excellent mother!"
** When Howard and Bernadette are looking for the dog, they try calling for her in an Indian accent. Leading to this exchange:
--->'''Howard:''' Remember that for tonight. It's kind of a turn-on.
--->'''Bernadette:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Me sounding like Raj is a turn-on?]]
* This bit:
-->'''Sheldon:''' (keeping Leonard up) Nice to meet you, Professor Proton. Nice to meet ''you'', Professor Proton.
-->(Leonard leaves his room)
-->'''Sheldon:''' Nice to meet you, ''Professor'' Proton. Nice to--(a slap is heard)--ow!
* Also in the same episode, Professor Proton himself (BobNewhart) when he meets Sheldon.
--> '''Professor Proton:''' Is uh, [[MadScientist is he dangerous]]?
--> '''Leonard:''' Actually he's a genius.
--> '''Sheldon:''' I am.
--> '''Professor Proton:''' That uh, that doesn't answer my question.
** A few minutes later...
-->'''Arthur:''' (about Penny) Is she really your girlfriend?
-->'''Leonard:''' Yeah.
-->'''Arthur:''' ''You're'' the genius.
* Sheldon's childlike enthusiasm for Howard's celebrity impressions.
* Raj finally being able to talk to women in the Season Finale. The girls, however, quickly wish [[MotorMouth he'd]] go back to being silent around them.
-->'''Amy:''' Does he ever shut up?
** And he continues talking even over the credits while you see Amy chug her wine while he does so.
* Penny learns that Leonard is going to be working on a boat for a cutting-edge project headed by StephenHawking. Her first thought was to exclaim "Aren't they afraid he's going to roll off?" In a later scene talking with Sheldon, she made a point to add "Who, as I learned, will not ''actually'' be on the boat."
* The girls decide to go to Disneyland where they can get princess makeovers. Bernadette ''[[BewareTheNiceOnes insists]]'' she must be Cinderella cause its her idea and they are in her car.
** Doubles as a Heartwarming AND Awesome moment for her when [[spoiler:the end of the episode reveals she planned the trip because she knows Howard would like seeing her dressed as Cinderella.]]
* "You pulled the plug on my funk!"
* In "The Extract Obliteration" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nji98Dt5Tvk Sheldon gets owned by Stephen Hawking]].
--> '''Hawking:''' Neener neener.

!!Season Seven
* "Serial Apist"!
* Howard and Raj comparing Cup Sizes.
** Even better, when Bernadette walked in on it.
* Howard and Amy discover a mutual love of Neil Diamond when they're paired up for a Scavenger Hunt. They proceed to spend the rest of the episode happily singing along to his songs.
-->'''Amy:''' ''To the Neilmobile!''
** Also from that episode, Sheldon insists on bringing a bowling ball with him on the same Hunt just in case they end up in a bowling alley, to everyone's amusement (and his partner Penny's irritation). Take one guess where they end up going.
-->'''Sheldon:''' Yes. ''Yes.'' My brain is better than ''everybody's!!!''
* Amy wants to put Sheldon's habit for repetition to good use some day. Think about it.
* Howard plans to surprise Bernadette on their anniversary, even when she [[spoiler: ends up in the hospital beforehand.]] He writes and performs a song for her that is the sweetest, nerdiest and most romantic song ever written. Also CrowningMomentofHeartwarming.
** These lines especially
--> '''Howard''': I'd speak a lot more Klingon, Heghlu'meH [=QaQ=] jajvam
--> '''Everyone else''': And he'd definitely still live with his mom.
* When Sheldon, clueless as ever, goes to Amy to tell her that she gets to drive him home, after he humiliated her at her first day at her new lab, Amy is showing pictures to a monkey, trying to get a response. Instead, as she does so, Sheldon and the monkey have the [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike exact same reactions to the pictures.]]
* When Howard starts attending girl's night, Raj gets upset because he liked having a place where he wouldn't be judged for his lack of masculinity. Howard apologizes and they make up, but when they start drifting to HoYay, we get this:
-->'''Amy:''' I knew it! They're gonna sleep together before Sheldon and I do!
* Penny thinks Raj will be happy with her for confronting Lucy. Cut to Raj yelling "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, PENNY?!" Seconds later, Lucy emails him to meet up, to which he responds, "I LOVE YOU, PENNY!!!"
* Sheldon's phone conversation with president Sievert, including a CallBack to Season 3.
-->'''Sheldon:''' I just want you to know I will be able to represent the university. I talked to my friend Wil Wheaton. ''(Beat)'' I'll have you know I have NINE friends; ten if I include you. ''(Beat)'' OK! Nine it is. ''(hangs up)'' Eh, 10. I'll bump up Wolowitz.
* Sheldon, fed up with Barry antics, decides to mock his rhotacism. Barry immediately turns depressed, forcing Sheldon to take it back... [[IronicEcho only for Barry to continue taunting him.]]
* As the gang talk about how things would be different without Sheldon, Penny tells a story about how Leonard trying to ask her out would end with him peeing himself. Later he retaliates with a story about her and DumbMuscle boyfriend Zack.
-->'''Penny:''' Okay, he's not smart. At least he wouldn't have peed himself.\\
'''Leonard:''' I wasn't done yet. [cut back to story]\\
'''Zack:''' Aw, man! I peed myself!\\
'''Penny:''' Me too!
* The reactions to Sheldon's graphic e-mail photos of his sister giving birth.
-->'''Penny:''' Come on. Childbirth is a natural... ''AAAGH!'' It's like someone sawed a cow in half!\\
'''Raj:''' Please, my father's a gynecologist. I think I can handle it... And now I'm gay.
** Sheldon's traumatized reactions to the birth. "I saw things. ''Lady'' things."
--->'''Amy:''' Sheldon, listen to me. That is not the way they usually look.
* Amy's exasperation with Sheldon's attempts to study and learn humor in "The Hesitation Ramification."
-->'''Amy:''' Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh at a knock-knock joke that starts, "Knock Knock Knock, Amy! Knock Knock Knock, Amy! Knock Knock Knock, Amy!"?
* James Earl Jones says "This Leonard sounds like a real weenie." May also count as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome since it is James Earl Jones saying it in his iconic voice.
** That whole damn night was hilarious. Who knew James Earl Jones was such a party animal?
-->'''James Earl Jones:''' Let me guess, you like Star Wars. You know, I've been in other movies. But you don't care about those, do you? I have one thing to say to people like you... [[BaitAndSwitchComment I LIKE STAR WARS TOO!]]
* In "The Friendship Turbulence" Bernadette accidentally tricks Howard into inviting Sheldon along to visit NASA with him.
-->'''Bernadette:''' This is gonna be a long weekend for you.
-->'''Howard:''' You're the reason I'm doing it!
-->'''Bernadette:''' I said to stop insulting each other! I didn't tell you to take him on a romantic getaway!
-->'''Howard:''' How do I know what you said? [[DistractedByTheSexy Damn you and your noise-canceling breasts.]]
-->'''Bernadette:''' *looks proud*
* In "The Indecision Amalgamation" Bernadette writes a humorous message on what she ''thought'' was a "Congratulations on Retirement" card, but turned out to be a "Get Well Soon" card for a woman who was horribly injured in a car accident.
--> '''Bernadette:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnoMn54tbDE So on the card, in the hospital, next to the woman who is clinging to life are the words "Hey Viviane, you deserve this..."]]\
''[it goes downhill from there]''
** In the same episode, Amy and Sheldon are having dinner and Sheldon can't decide whether to get an XboxOne or a PlayStation4 much to Amy's annoyance when she wants Sheldon to pass her the butter. Amy decides to fake interest in Sheldon's decision making and when he asks her what he should get she responds, "PASS ME THE BUTTER!"
* Sheldon using tips from ''Cosmopolitan'' to "break up" with string theory in "The Relationship Diremption".
** After getting drunk and being led into his room:
--->'''Sheldon:''' [knock, knock, knock] Empty room. [knock, knock, knock] Empty room. [knock, knock, knock] Empty room. If someone answers, I'll freak out.
** And the next morning, Sheldon wakes up in bed with... [[spoiler:a geology book]]. Complete with walk of shame.
** Sheldon's drunken messages to Creator/StephenHawking.
* Penny's dismay upon realizing that she "gets" the guys' ''Franchise/StarWars'' references.
-->'''Penny:''' WHY DO I KNOW THIS?!?
* Amy and Bernadette make a Death Star cake for the guys. Bernadette asks why people don't make more spherical cakes, and right on cue the cake rolls over the table and onto the floor.
** Later, when they bring the cake over to the guys, Bernadette expresses regret at having missed the movies, only for Howard to mention that they started over because of Sheldon.
--->'''Bernadette:''' (whispers to Amy) Son of a ''bitch''!

!!Other
* It's not technically on the show, but there's Sheldon hacking into Super Bowl XLIII (The one in 2009 for non-NFL fans).
--> '''Sheldon''': Go, whatever team you support, and may the other team play less effectively!
** Followed by the announcer:
---> '''Announcer''': Leave it to Sheldon. He hacked his way into the Super Bowl.
* At Comic-Con 2011, an audience member asked who had the best "Howard's Mom" impersonation. Simon Helberg (Howard) barely got out a screechy "Howard" before admitting that's all he had. Melissa Rauch (Bernadette) took a moment to think, then did a flawless Howard's Mom voice with "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aifqrqyJ1E&feature=related What's this 'Comic-Con' you're at? Is that some sort of sex convention I saw on 20/20?]]"

-->"BAZINGA!"