* When Ringo was asked if Music/BobDylan really turned the Beatles onto pot, he said "It wasn't so much he introduced us to it as much as [[DistinctionWithoutADifference he happened to be in the room when we first smoked it]]."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4q48Foltjs This recording session for "Think For Yourself"]]. ''"[[Series/Stingray1964 Mariiiina, Aquamariiiiina]], How come you fuck up everything that you dooooo?"''
** "'''I will be pleased to see the earth-men disintegrated!'''"
** "''YEAH, BUT LET'S FACE IT, '''YOU'RE CRAP!!!''' AREN'T YOU???''"
** "''Do you want to hold a penis? Doo-wah-ooo...''"
* "I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MAH FINGERS!!!" TruthInTelevision: Ringo was ''bleeding.''
* The song "You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)" (available on ''Music/PastMasters'' and ''Music/TheBeatlesAnthology''). It's like a comedic version of "Revolution 9", but as a John and Paul collaboration. Includes Paul as "Dennis O'Dell."
* All the crazy ways the Beatles counted off songs, "One, two, three, FAH!" "One, two, three, FAWWEH!" "One, two, three, HAWW!!" "Sugar plum fairy, sugar plum fairy..."
* In the ''Music/TheBeatlesAnthology'' outtake of "I'm Down", Paul criticizes his performance as "plastic soul". And it wasn't half bad. Allegedly, it was what Paul heard black musicians call [[Music/TheRollingStones Mick Jagger's]] early British blues style at the time. The phrase reportedly led to the band calling their next studio album ''Music/RubberSoul''.
* Paul in an interview, responding to people's interpretations of depravity in their songs: [[DeadpanSnarker "We were just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians, that's all."]]
* "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" from ''Music/TheWhiteAlbum'', arguably the dirtiest and simultaneously funniest thing Paul ever did during his time with the Beatles.
* For "Oh! Darling" from ''Music/AbbeyRoad'', Paul went into the recording studio before the other Beatles would show up for days on end to try and nail the raw vocal performance he wanted in one take. And to have fun with the tape delay, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQRzIF6xObc judging by this outtake.]] Oh, the delirium of it all!
--> '''Paul:''' Experiments of a due nature being carried out on rats. And people... and rats. [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs And ratty people. And people-y rats]].
** The Beatles were often known to have fun with delays (and other effects) in the studio, one result of which was the ending of "Lovely Rita".
* The outtakes from "No Reply" on the ''Music/TheBeatlesAnthology'' collection. Basically they keep singing "YOUR FACE!" over and over again instead of replacing it with a different lyric each time, resulting in some hilarious combinations.
** Also an outtake from "I'll Be Back." After Lennon finds he can't sing in the current key, he continues singing like he's completely drunk.
** And another from "And Your Bird Can Sing." Paul [[{{Corpsing}} starts giggling]], and then he sets off John. Neither of them can stop for the entire song.
** The "Polythene Pam" outtakes from ''Music/AbbeyRoad'' have John and George devolving into gibberish.
** A [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7yteJR0GLw Rocky Raccoon outtake]] is hilarious for a number of reasons, chief among them the fact that Paul accidentally says 'sminking'.
** The "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" outtake
--> '''John:''' "Paul's broken a glass, broken a glass, Paul's broken a glass, a glass, a glass he's broke today"
** "Happiness is a Warm Gun"
--> '''John:''' "Mother superior ''JUMP''-[[PrecisionFStrike oh shit!]]"
* "Only a Northern Song", if you listen to the lyrics.
-->"If you're listening to this song,\\
you may think that the chords are going wrong,\\
but they're not,\\
we just wrote it like that"
:: Even funnier in the Anthology version:
-->"If you're listening to this song,\\
you may think the chords are going wrong,\\
but they're not,\\
I just wrote it like that.\\
If you listen late at night,\\
you may think the words are not quite right,\\
but they are,\\
I just wrote them myself."
* "Drive My Car" from ''Music/RubberSoul'', especially the climax:
-->"I got no car, and it's breaking my heart\\
But I found a driver, and that's a start"
* "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpCV2wgoxC8 Maxwell's Silver Hammer]]", a delightfully cheerful song [[LyricalDissonance about a serial killer]]. The juxtaposition of dark lyrical content with an upbeat tune is hilarious. It's also inspiration for some... A-hem... Interesting projects in ''VideoGame/SuperScribblenauts''...
* The interviews are funny as hell as well:
** Their first time in the US, the press tried to harass them, resulting in very funny comments from the boys, the most (in?)famous one being:
--->'''Reporter:''' Why does it [their music] charm the girls so much?\\
'''John:''' If we knew we'd form another group and be managers.
** The same happened in many of their other interviews. Another memorable moment was when they stated they had finished making their first movie, resulting in this:
--->'''Reporter:''' Have you got time to actually spend this money?\\
'''George:''' What money?
* John's weird little story about how the Beatles came to be, and got their name. (Paul later called one of his solo albums ''Flaming Pie''.) Here's a link to the whole thing: [[http://www.triumphpc.com/mersey-beat/archives/dubious.shtml "Being a Short Diversion on the Dubious Origins of the Beatles]]
-->Many people ask what are Beatles? Why Beatles? Ugh, Beatles, how did the name arrive? So we will tell you. It came in a vision--a man appeared in a flaming pie and said unto them "From this day on you are Beatles with an A." "Thank you, Mister Man," they said, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment thanking him]]."
* The band's annual Christmas fan club records were this, when not being [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment downright surreal]].
* The skit in which all four Beatles perform the "Pyramus and Thisbe" scene from ''Theatre/AMidsummerNightsDream'' (available on Website/YouTube [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxXkdYr5JYg here]]). It's one of the funniest scenes in all of theater anyway, but when the Beatles get their hands on it, well.
** Made funnier by the two hecklers in the audience and the boys' interactions with them.
* "Hey Bulldog". It's so demented it probably inspired Music/TheResidents.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYZSEWM6ZlU "Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands, and the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery."]]
* On ''Music/{{Help}}!'', the track immediately after "[I have got] Another Girl" is "You're Gonna Lose That Girl". The song titles are also heard immediately after another. There is absolutely no way this wasn't intentional!
* "What's the New Mary Jane" from ''Music/TheBeatlesAnthology'' is this (when it isn't being NightmareFuel-ish) thanks to some fun {{Spoonerism}}s and such. The laid-back, uber-hippietastic "Let's-do-this-in-one-take" fake children's song vibe also helps.
-->"She like to be married with yeti\\
he grooving such cookie spaghetti\\
She jumping as Mexican bean\\
to make that her body more thin"
* The many times they took advantage of deafening crowd reactions by doing stuff like using Nazi slogans, or John acting like a "spastic" (his words) just for a laugh. And nobody ever noticed... because, seriously, how would they be able to?
* The Rooftop Concert for the ''Film/LetItBe'' production: a brief moment at the darkest hour as the band was breaking apart, they head upstairs and put on a performance where they're actually ''enjoying'' themselves and cracking jokes between takes.
** When the police show up to warn them off the roof, the band goes into one more cut of "Get Back", only this time Paul ad-libs the "Get back, Loretta" to say she's going to get arrested for "playing on the roofs too long."
** [[MemeticMutation I'd like to say Thank You on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition...]]
* At one point during the ''Let It Be'' documentary, Ringo is relaxing after a take when Paul's stepdaughter, Heather, taps on one of the cymbals, spooking him.
* When the Beatles (minus Ringo, who hadn't joined yet) first auditioned for George Martin, he and two other Creator/ParlophoneRecords producers felt they weren't good enough. The other two producers were blunt about it. Martin, trying to be nice, asked the boys, "Is there anything you don't like?", meaning the recording session. George quipped, "Well, I don't like your tie." Martin cracked up. Encouraged, the Beatles just started riffing off each other for several minutes straight: they got the three producers laughing so hard they were in ''tears''. [[ForegoneConclusion And that, boys and girls, is how the Beatles got their first record deal.]]
* Ringo's ad-lib before the solo on "If You've Got Trouble", sardonically commenting on his bandmates' rather lackluster performance: "aw, rock on, ANYBODY!"
* Judging from the surviving recording, they were in a ''very'' good mood for what ended up being their final concert at Candlestick Park in 1966, making all kinds of silly comments in the song introductions:
-->'''John''': This one's about the naughty lady, called "Day Tripper".\\
'''George''': We'd like to carry on with something that's very old indeed. And this one was recorded about 1959 and it's called "I Feel Fine"[[note]]It was actually more like 18 months old[[/note]].\\
'''Paul''': We'd like to do the next number now, which is a special request for all the [[HoYay wonderful backroom boys on this tour]] and the song is called "I Wanna Be Your Man".
* A quote attributed to Lennon after being asked if Ringo was the best drummer in the world: "He isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles".
* Another quote from [[http://beatlesinterviews.org/db1964.0207.beatles.html an early press conference]]:
-->'''Reporter:''' In UsefulNotes/{{Detroit}}, UsefulNotes/{{Michigan}}, there handing out car stickers saying, "Stamp Out The Beatles."
-->'''Paul:''' Yeah well... first of all, we're bringing out a Stamp Out Detroit campaign.
* This priceless exchange from the boys' 1964 [[http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/beatles-met-muhammad-ali/ meeting]] with Cassius Clay (the future UsefulNotes/MuhammadAli):
-->'''Cassius:''' You’re not as dumb as you look!
-->'''John:''' No, but ''you'' are!
* ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' - in a nice bit of SelfDeprecatingHumor, when Ringo hosted the show it opened at a Sotheby's Beatle auction where guitar picks were going for tens of thousands of dollars - then Ringo himself came up for auction, and nobody would even match the opening bid. Later we see a family had picked him up for $800, where he spends all his time watching reruns of ''Series/TheJeffersons'' and popping sheets of plastic bubble wrap.
* "Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say..."
* Two words. "Cranberry sauce."