* "The shit hath hiteth the fan...eth."
** The [[{{Bowdlerise}} Bowlderized]] version could be considered funnier: "The ''squid'' hath hiteth the fan...eth."
* [[PapaWolf "Stop... Turn... Explain."]]
** [[OverprotectiveDad "And hell is just a sauna."]]
** "My momma didn't raise no fool."
** "My insurance does not cover PMS!"
* "Hello, Katarina, made anyone cry today?" "Sadly no, but it's only four-thirty."
* "What is it with this chick? She have beer flavoured nipples?"
** What makes it even funnier is how perfectly it sums up the inexplicable number of men so desperate to date Bianca, both in the movie and [[TheTamingOfTheShrew the source material]].
* "Someday, you gonna get bitch slapped, and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it."
* Kat's '[[DistractedByTheSexy The Plan]]' for distracting the other soccer team.
** She distracted him with her "wits".
** "Now that I've shown you... 'The Plan'... I'm gonna go... and show 'The Plan' to somebody else" *cue death by embarrassment*
* Ms. Perky and her novel.
** "Judith!! What's another word for... engorged?"
*** Swollen? Turgid?
*** Bratwurst.
* Mr. Morgan's casual hostility towards his students.
** And him outright laughing at Joey, who he knows got his eye blackened by Bianca at the prom.
* The teacher in detention confiscating a student's weed, then thinking a minute and confiscating another kid's cheetos.
* This conversation between Cameron and Michael:
-->'''Michael:''' ''(in a sullen tone)'' We're ''screwed.''
-->'''Cameron:''' Hey, no, hey. I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you ''upbeat.''
-->'''Michael:''' ''(In a tone that can only be done by someone on crack)'' We're SCREWED!
-->'''Cameron:''' That's better.
* "What's a Bogey Lowenstein?"
* The outtakes
** "Can I get a prophylactic... a prophylactic... ah..."
** *thwap!* "Shall we go to my office?!"
* [[SarcasmMode "Am I that transparent? I want you. I need you. Oh baby. Oh baby."]]
* "I'm a crack whore who should have made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom?"
* "Your eyes have a little green in them." *BWARF!!*
* "...I have a dick on my face, don't I?"
* "That was Costa Rican, butthead!"
* In an uncharacteristic moment of cartoonishness, when Bianca is practicing archery, she turns and shoots the teacher in the ass, who proceeds to flail around in pain for a while.
** Comes back as a BrickJoke when he's supervising detention and sits down on his desk - only to quickly jump back up, wincing in pain.
* Bianca being made to wear the fake belly by her Dad.
** "Who knocked up your sister?"
* "My balls!"
* "Don't say shit like that. People can hear you!"
* ''{{Beat}}.'' "... are you saying I'm not a pretty guy?"
** Cue the two characters being accused in this fashion desperately assuring him of how pretty he is.
* Patrick running away from the police as he's singing "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" and slapping one on the ass.
** Takes on a layer of HilariousInHindsight when Heath Ledger would later go on to play TheJoker.
* "Only if we were the last two people alive. [[BestialityIsDepraved And there were no sheep.]] (''{{Beat}}'') Are there sheep?!?!"
* "Should you be drinking when you don't have a liver?"

!The Series
* Cameron upon realizing that Michael is gay thinks he has a crush on him. Michael assures him otherwise
->Michael: Now Joey on the other hand
->Caneron: (mutters) I keep losing out to that guy.
----