----
* His 'unprofessional' {{Spittake}} reaction to the Creme Egg-lookalikes is hilarious in its own right. But funnier still was the [[OhCrap sobering silence]] when he realized that, lying in one of the cubicles of the package, [[ParanoiaFuel was a maggot]].
** [[spoiler:This turned out to be a prank.]]
* And now the ending of the second episode of Ashen's Tech Dump!
-->'''Ashen:''' "There must be something you can do it wouldn't.. be a game... [[HeroicBSOD don't look at me like that, what's going on... He's crying or something... go on, move- oh my goodness, stop that. Stop that! Oh that's horrible... he's in a corner weeping, that's horrible. No, no, c'mon, Vinnie, we'll find a- is that a gun? Is that a- NO, NO, VINNIE, NO, DON'T DO THAT NO!]]"
-->YOUR FAULT.
** C:\> REBOOT
** *delete*
** [[AllMenArePerverts REBOOTY PARTY]]
* The unveiling of Chef Excellence.
** The constant running gag throughout the "Chef Excellence Showcase".
*** 'An Excellent Running Gag'
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEL89oQpIKs Pasta Excellence.]] Need I say more?
* From the review of his LEGO set:
-->'''Ashen:''' A bag full of [=LEGO=], obviously. Or [=LEGOs=] if you're American. Don't know why they say [=LEGOs=] instead of [=LEGO=]; perhaps that's where the "s" on the end of "Maths" went.
* "[[TheRoom I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not!]][[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJXlFcAaSIk ...Oh, HaiPad"]]
* Ashen getting weirded out by a knockoff Transformer, firstly because it turns out to have extra stumpy arms and legs after he rips the first ones off, then because its head flies off to reveal a smaller one underneath.
* Ashen's tvtropes checklist.
* The One-Armed Colour-Blind Children With Contrasting Jumpers who are apparently the target audience for the board game version of ''Donkey Kong''.
* His review of the PacMan [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-Lx_g47kKs board game]], which starts off with a disclaimer stating that we're about to watch "actual footage of grown men playing a children's board game."
** Threatening his friend Larry with bodily harm for stealing his only-sees-his-hands gimmick.
** The description of the game's premise (and pieces):
--->'''Stuart''': What lurks inside...why, lots of gaudy plastic tat--basically, the idea of the game is you take control of this terrifying serrated-teeth PacMan or one of his four equally gaudy friends, to avoid the green ghosties and steal as many marbles as possible.\\
'''Larry''': So basically, Stuart, it's "Hungry Hungry Hippos: [[GeniusBonus Mensa Edition]]".\\
'''Stuart''': That works for me.
* His short video detailing his adventure with a spy pen:
-->'''Stuart:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I'm not recording this, you know.]]\\
'''Plumber:''' Pardon?\\
'''Stuart:''' Nothing.
** All the more hilarious when you consider the footage is a real conversation between Stuart and his plumber.
* The "Meet the Team" portion of his GI Joe Knock-Offs/Cheap Army Figures review.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUv0cPZN38c WILL YOU KEEP THAT BLOODY NOISE DOWN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP IN HERE!]]
* The intro to the first Poundland Food Special, and the reason Chef Excellence wasn't part of it.
* While he's putting together some [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn4EHW7lnqo knock-off Constructicons]]:
-->Eeeh there he is, with his [[AccidentalInnuendo erect...]]Moving swiftly along!
* Ashen mispronouncing "Amazon" a few times, then stating that he deliberately mispronounced it "to see if there are any idiots watching who, rather than watching the rest of the video, will instead immediately jump into the comments on Youtube going, 'You pronounced 'Amazon' wrong ra ra ra and also [[TakeThat I have never kissed a girl.'"]]
** From the same video: Stuart discovers an English-to-Chinese translator on the device, and uses it to see the Chinese translation for "a bag of bones."
--> "If you're in China and you need to say that, you probably need to get the hell out of China as fast as you can, because you've done something horribly wrong."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoHr5BQkNVA&t=12m00s The long string of curse words]] he lets loose after the fake Darth Vader toy shines an LED right in his eye.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxACqE-puLY&t=3m50s The horror of the Little Princess doll.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEL89oQpIKs An Excellent Mauling]]
--> '''Ashens''': *''long lingering death glare''*
--> '''Chef Excellence''': [[OhCrap Oh Shit.]]
--> '''Ashens''' [to dog]: Oscar... Kill.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swvy4qE_AYM&t=3m15s The conclusion to the Karting Grand Prix review.]]
* When reviewing the knockoff [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSO1KWLGd50 "iPhone 5G,"]] he discovers the stylus slot for the phone. [[spoiler:It's actually a slot for a hidden aerial.]] This itself is funny enough, but the eternally-cool Ashens ''completely loses it'' at this discovery, and laughs so hard he has to jump cut over it. And then it gets so bad, he ''stops and says a prayer to Zeus thanking him for how absurd the knockoff phone is.'' [[spoiler:It's especially funny when you consider the actual [=iPhone=] 4's notorious signal problem.]]
** Even better: Later, while filming in the dark to capture the screen better, [[spoiler:it takes him completely unawares and pokes him in the eye.]] Yes, it's a bit schadenfreude-ish, but that just serves to highlight how ridiculous the [[spoiler:TV antenna]] is.
** Not nearly as funny as [[spoiler:the aerial]], but his increasing irritation at the [[MostAnnoyingSound 'nature' noises]] the phone keeps making is worth a few chuckles.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXVWiHEDe4M&t=2m22s I'm tempted; VERY tempted. Infact, i'm dual wielding."]]
* On a cheapo wrestling figure that had long hair, a beard, and a championship belt: "[[KungFuJesus I am the son of God and you cannot beat me at wrestling.]]"
* In his 2011 Christmas Special he reviews a Santa figure that is made out of wooden beads. There are strings going through it (slack=collapsed Santa, tight=assembled Santa), which he plays with.
-->'''Ashens:''' Santa's alive, Santa's dead. Santa's alive, Santa's dead. Tell you what...(Pulls out a pair of scissors and beheads the figure, making the beads scatter)...now we know for sure he's dead. Take that, you festive bastard, playing with our emotions like that.
* From the Royal Wedding video, he says that in a picture of the Royal couple, they may be looking at a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4rqVauL2eI#t=10m45s fox levitating and shooting lasers out of his asshole.]]
* In his headphones and hands-free device review, he looks over the back of a box of headphones branded 'The Carpenter' and reads over it, finding it to be gushy lifestyle stuff filled with horrible puns.
-->'''Ashens:''' You know what? Fuck you, and fuck your headphones! That's the most sickening crap I've ever read!
* In his review of a few knock-off figures, he comes across MMA-style "Fight Club" figurines with loads of unintentional innuendo and a ''severe'' lack of quality control. One package is mislabeled, one figurine's arm is on backwards and the paint on the face of both figurines is completely ''wrong''. Ashens' reaction is priceless.
* In his Valentine's Day 2012 review, Chef Excellence gets to direct his own sequence, and does it as a black and white silent film with his brooding descent into alcoholism as a real celebrity has taken over fronting the Stay Fresh Bags product line. After it cuts back to Ashens, he reflects: "I should never have taken him to see ''TheArtist''."
* His reaction to the "Welcome Park" in his PSVita review.
--> '''Narrator:''' Oh! Somebody's at the door!
--> '''Ashens:''' Oh, [[PrecisionFStrike fuck off!]] I'm not six years old! ''(begins laughing)'' What the hell...? ''(mockingly)'' There's somebody at the door! It's your friend Bob! He's come to tell you about the PS Vita!
* Ashens reeling off a list of ridiculous names from StarWars, ending with "Rick Santorum".
* His painting Easter eggs in "the traditional British style" - painting "PISS" and "ARSE" on them and holding those two together respectively.
** Then right after:
--> '''Ashens:''' (switches them around) Now it's Christmas!
* From his attempted review of the Barcode Battler:
--> '''Ashens''' ''(after having lost a battle)''''':''' Well. That could have gone better. Perhaps having the instructions would--''(gets interrupted by his cell phone)'' Oh, who's that?
* The angel tree topper that uses its halo to garrote the other toys. (From his 2010 Christmas Special)
* In his review of the PCP-8063 model of the PCP Station, he plays ''Space-Time Tercel'' for a while before suddenly shutting off the system and ejecting the cartridge, all while unconvincingly claiming he did it on accident.
* Ashen attends Gamescon and offers what seems like the average questions to people fielding questions for Ubisoft's titles. However, he occasionally tosses in a reference to the "God-monster of Indian Flats." No one bats an eye.
* From his review of the [[http://youtu.be/OvtAfmUQ11Q Peeing Pooch]], the unchoreographed fall the dog has:
--> '''Ashen:''' When it cocks its leg, it drops some water out--''(dog falls over, dead)'' then it falls off--''(dog cocks its leg and urinates, while still dead)'' and sprays piss all up the carpet.
* In his video about GreenLantern action figures, Ashens reads the description for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilowog Kilowog]] and comments that his name sounds like "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilo- the SI unit]] of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog racism]]".
* In "Cheapo Toy Soldiers and Fake GI Joe", Ashens' paranoid reaction at unwrapping an action figure that resembles ''himself''.
* From his ''Pre-Winter Clearout Special'', recounting his experience with novelty bath jelly with accompanying pictures.
** Afterwards, he tells viewers that they can see more photos at "xxx.ashens.com." [[http://xxx.ashens.com It actually exists]]. No, it does ''not'' actually lead to a site with nude photos.
* In [[http://youtu.be/MozhWvge8os Poundland Is The Best Thing About Christmas]], Stuart and Chef Excellence give each other presents. Both of them get a form of Stay Fresh Bags, but while Chef Excellence gives Ashens his Stay Fresh Fruit and Veg Bags, Ashens jokingly gives Chef Excellence the Max Hoffman Stay Fresh Cheese Bags. Excellence proceeds to go ''apeshit crazy'', scaring and forcing Ashens to call the Chef Control. A man barges in and holds Chef Excellence down, Ashens proceeds to fill a needle with Tesco Value Gin, and injects it into Chef Excellence, knocking him out.
* In his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-fzBNI2O84 WoPad Review]] he bashes the popularity of AngryBirds. He got quite a few cheers in the comment section.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcFQF3PZFRk&t=8m51s "I betrayed the Sicilian Mafia and look what happened to me!"]].
* From his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM_7EZKFgOw&t=5m31s Fake Knock-off Action Figures]] video, "ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk...being a little bit less incredible than usual. The "Fairly-Believable Hulk". The "Slightly Mundane Hulk". The "Cheap [[OffModel Weird-Thing-Going-On-In-The-Chest-Cavity]] Hulk"...[[spoiler:[[FanDisservice The "Bare Arse" Hulk...]]]]"
** From the same video, he has two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knock-off figures with headbands that are clearly different colours. Within a fairly short space of time, he refers to them both as Donatello.
* His "endorsement" of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pokrK6NXFXM Hunger Breaks Chicken Tikka]]:
--> If you have to eat one of these because you've [[Film/{{Taken}} accidentally kidnapped]] LiamNeeson's [[Film/{{Taken}} mother, and he's come after you for revenge]], and he says "I'll either shoot you in the face or you can eat one of these", choose this one. If they've run out of this one, choose the shot in the face.
* In one of his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbZrtPqfp1s Extra Ashens]] reviews, Ashen is profoundly disappointed by a ''{{Film/SpiderMan}}'' blind-bag toy that is so cheap it could easily be outdone by Happy Meal toys and cereal-box prizes thirty years ancient. He attempts to KillItWithFire, as is his wont with blind bag items that displease him, but the plastic junk refuses to ignite, instead emitting novel green flames. The combination of resignation, disgust, and snark in his voice when he realizes this just seals the deal.
--> "Ugh. Even ''the fire'' doesn't want it."
** Made all the more fun by his obviously improved mood when the darn thing finally starts to burn, ever so slightly.
--> "Oh, yes it does!"
* Stuart and Guru Larry playing the ''Turbo'' board game, and deciding that ice is capable of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GzvEUnwG5T4#t=346s rendering physics inert,]] and eventually interpreting the ice field as [[EldritchLocation some kind of eldritch dimensional plane]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GzvEUnwG5T4#t=579s where the laws of rality no longer apply.]]
* While reading the instructions to a [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0CQ1OTmAJ0&feature=player_detailpage#t=100s toy figurine]] which is encased in a container full of goo:
--> '''Ashen:''' In case of stains, immediately remove excess goo material then wash with warm water and white vinegar. Yes, I remember puberty too.
* His hilarious reaction to '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHCid-GypGI&feature=player_detailpage#t=260s THE GOOSE]]''' for his Easter 2013 video, breaking his [[StiffUpperLip unflappable English demeanor]] out of pure startled bemusement, particularly at [[spoiler:the bizarre choice of music it was playing]].
* In his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfz9qlkzF40 "Stupidly Long Crap Food Special"]], he and Dan (Dan, mostly) are preparing some of [[LarryTheCableGuy Larry the Cable Guy]]'s beer bread. At one point Stu realizes that he hasn't got a bread pan because his girlfriend had taken it. He then remembers that he hadn't checked the oven and Dan sees if it's in there, and when he says that it was, suddenly...
-->'''Stuart''': "[[OhCrap OH,]] [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK!]]" *Immediately runs to the oven* "You haven't turned [the oven] on, have you!?"
-->'''Dan''' (Through laughter): "No, I hadn't." *Sees what it is.* "There's a couple of computer chips in the oven! What '''''is''''' that?"
-->'''Stuart''': "It's a DoubleDragon arcade board; I ran out of places to store these damned things, and I never used the oven, so I stuck it in there."
** Ashen also misreads the "Git-R-Done" slogan on Larry's hat as "Guitar Dome" and thinks it would be AGoodNameForARockBand.
** The unintentional RunningGag of Ashen and Dan talking up how terrible all the food items are, only for each one to turn out to be SoOkayItsAverage in an {{Anticlimax}}.
** Their bewildered reactions to Larry in general, as well as the American legal drinking age are pretty hilarious, too.
* Due to technical difficulties, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i13X-gCv8lY Ashens decides to review his hotel room]] thanks to him not being able to get the actual video he wanted up. He talks about how he never used the provided kettle, and he reveals why at the end. It turns out, when he first went in, resting on the kettle, [[spoiler: was some pubic hair]].
* Randomly stabbing an inflatable toy of a 2012 Olympic mascot in the eye.
--> '''Ashen:''' "You go and stand over there Mandeville and I'm sure no harm will come of you..." *stabs the toy and pulls it off of the knife* [[CaptainObvious I may have lied about that last bit."]]
* In his Fake [[Film/TheAvengers Avengers]] figures, he comes across a Thor figure that LooksLikeJesus and proceeds to theorize that Jesus must have stolen one of Joseph's carpentry hammers and used it to fight aliens. Then he acts out the dialogue between them.
--> '''Joseph:''' Jesus, look at this! I lend you my good hammer, and it's all scratched the way you've been hitting futuristic warrior aliens! I can't trust you with anything!
--> '''Jesus:''' Oh, shut up! You're not my real dad anyway!
--> '''Joseph:''' All right, well why don't you go live with your real father in his metaphysical sky-paradise that he won't even give his millions of followers a slice if he exists and when you can't seem to give you and your mates a lift to basketball practice every Thursday night, can you?
--> '''Jesus:''' I hate you! You don't understand me or my music! I'm going to my room!
--> '''Ashen:''' ...I don't know where I was going with that. I think I've confused myself. ''laughs''
** Before that:
--> '''Ashen:''' Time for the real sexy lady, Scarlett Johansen...who hasn't turned up, so [[OffModel this man]] has instead.