* Bones after Kirk starts [[BoldlyComing sexing up a shapeshifter girl]]:
--> '''[=McCoy=]:''' What ''is'' it with you, anyway?
--> '''Kirk:''' Still think we're finished?
--> '''[=McCoy=]:''' ''More than ever.''
** Though to be fair to Kirk, SHE kissed him, not the other way around.
* Missed the best part:
-->'''Kirk:''' I can't believe I kissed you!\\
'''Shapeshifter!Kirk:''' Must have been your lifelong ambition!
** Can also work the other way around:
--->'''Shapeshifter!Kirk:''' I can't believe I kissed you!\\
'''Kirk:''' Must have been your lifelong ambition!
* All of Spock's machinations to delay their return to headquarters while they work out who shot the Klingon ship, when pressed by Valeris:
--> "A lie?" "An error."
--> "A lie?" "An exaggeration."
--> "A lie?" "An ommission."
** Made a hell of a lot less funny later on with [[spoiler: Valeris']] IronicEcho:
---> "A lie?" "A ''choice.''"
* Kirk and [=McCoy=] have convinced one of the bad guys to finally explain what the hell's been going on... just in time for Enterprise to find them and beam them up. Once Kirk realizes what's going on, he shouts "Son of a bitch!" and disappears on the last word, leaving it to echo for a while longer.
--> '''Chekhov:''' You want to go back?
* [=McCoy's=] reaction to General Chang's incessant [[LargeHam hamming]] is gold:
-->I'd pay real money if he'd ''shut up.''
* "If I were Human, I believe my response would be... *FascinatingEyebrow* 'Go to Hell.' If I were Human."
* When Kirk tackles the Federation President at the end of the movie (to save his life, of course) he briefly introduces himself as "Kirk, Enterprise" while he's basically lying on top of the man. It's also the super-casual way he says it that makes it hilarious. One wonders if he meets his blind dates that way.
* [=McCoy=] is on the witness stand in Klingon court and is asked his current medical status. He makes a joke about how it's fine, aside from a touch of arthritis. A SINGLE KLINGON laughs his head off while the rest of the assembled audience is quiet.
* The ship is scoured for the missing gravity boots and finally found among the belongings of a crewman. Chekov smugly deposits the boot in front of the crewman, with the declaration "If shoe fits, wear it." Problem is, the shoe DOESN'T fit, as the crewman can't wear standard issue boots because of the unusual shape of his feet.
** Capped by Uhura's FacePalm.
* After the disastrous dinner with the Klingons, Kirk dictates his personal log back in his quarters.
--> '''Kirk:''' Note to the galley: Romulan ale ''no longer to be served'' at diplomatic functions.
* Shortly after dinner with the Klingons and Romulan Ale, the Enterprise is picking up strange radiation anomalies:
-->'''Kirk:''' Mr. Chekov, you know anything about a radiation surge.
-->'''Chekov:''' [suffering a wicked hangover]Only in the sides of my head.
* Rather a cruel joke, but in the last time Uhura ever appears in the credits of any ''Star Trek'' production (barring the 2009 movie), it's ''misspelled''.
* Spock convinces Scotty to waste time in order to delay the ''Enterprise'''s return to Spacedock.
-->'''Spock:''' Ah, Mr. Scott, I understand you're having trouble with the warp drive. How much time do you require for the repair?\\
'''Scotty:''' There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing...!\\
'''Spock:'''(looming over Scotty to press the urgency) Mr. Scott, if we return to Spacedock, the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear and we will never see the captain or Dr. [=McCoy=] alive again.\\
'''Scotty:''' ...could take weeks, sir.