[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Season 1]]
* Although also a CrowningMomentOfAwesome, it was also hysterically funny: Q shows up for the first (and only) time on Deep Space 9. And Sisko promptly sucker-punches him.
--> '''Q (on his ass on the floor):''' You hit me! Picard never hit me!
--> '''Sisko:''' ''I'm'' not Picard.
** The way it starts is hilarious as well:
---> '''Q:''' Marquis of Queensbury Rules...
---> '''Sisko:''' (''high-pitched, incredulous'') '''''What?!'''''
---> *Q hits Sisko*
---> '''Quark:''' I'll wager 5 bars of latinum on Sisko.
---> '''Vash:''' You're on!
** Q's amazing handlebar mustache during that short sequence cannot go unmentioned.
** And from the blooper reel:
---> '''Sisko:''' Bring them back, Q! ''Now!''
---> '''Q:''' Or what, you'll ravish me? (''realizes he was supposed to say "thrash me"'')
---> '''Sisko:''' (''softly'') I might...
* Something about Kira's delivery of this line (and corresponding facial expression) in "Dax," in reference to the attempted kidnapping of Jadzia, is hilarious. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that eight episodes into the series, and the viewer already knows that it's NOT a good idea to annoy Major Kira.
--> '''Kira:''' You Klaestrons are allies of the Cardassians; your knowledge of the station confirms that they must have given you the layouts. Which not only compromises Bajoran security, but also... ''annoys'' us.
* In "Move Along Home," the look on Kira's face when she's forced to play hopscotch while singing a nursery rhyme to proceed through the maze.
** Speaking of the hopscotch scene, Avery Brooks has a lovely singing voice.
*** His singing voice shows up again in the seventh season where he duets with Odo, which is just awkward and absurd enough to be hilarious.
** Dax and Bashir sound like they're reciting a formula, Kira has an "I want to kill something" tone, while Sisko has apparently decided to just roll with it.
* There's a moment in "The Nagus" where Jadzia encourages Sisko to go find Jake, who's late for the dinner he has on the table. After Benjamin leaves, Dax just ladles out a bowl of stew and starts eating it like getting him out of the way of dinner was the plan all along.
** Knowing Dax, it probably was.
* Odo and the bird in the Promenade during "If Wishes Were Horses." "This isn't a show!" Also, when he warns the customers at Quark's [[ItMakesSenseInContext to refrain from using their imaginations]] and when he imagines Quark into a cell.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season 2]]
* Bashir going to Sisko in the middle of the night in "Cardassians" to request the use of a runabout.
--> '''Bashir:''' It's Garak, sir. He wants to go to Bajor.\\
'''Sisko:''' Bajor? For what?\\
'''Bashir:''' He wouldn't tell me.\\
'''Sisko:''' Well by all means! Will one runabout be enough?
* The subversion of {{Spotting The Thread}} when Keiko starts to suspect a security video has been tampered with, as it shows O'Brien drinking coffee in the afternoon, which he never does. Then after she's proven right and everything's wrapped up, O'Brien asks how she knew. After Keiko tells him, he confusedly replies that he ''always'' drinks coffee in the afternoon.
* In "Playing God", pretty much all the interactions between Dax and Arjin. Arjin keeps expecting DrillSergeantNasty and reacting to Jadzia's BlitheSpirit ways.
** In the same episode, the voles. It's a tossup between them and [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Tribbles]] as the worse infestation.
---> '''Sisko:''' Phasers on stun, Chief. I want those voles taken ''alive!'' (His tone of voice is great)
---> '''Sisko:''' (''later'') ...and '''take''' those phasers off stun, Chief! ''No more'' Mr. Nice Guy.
* In the episode "Blood Oath", [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Kor]] is very understanding of Jadzia's sense that she should come along their quest for revenge, even though it was technically the late Curzon who owed the debt. He makes it sound like vacation on Risa.
-->'''Kor:''' "Of course you should come! The splendor of fighting and killing; a bloodbath in the cause of vengeance; who wouldn't want to come?!"
** After taking one good look at the still-drunken Kor and calling him out on said drunkenness, Koloth, who came to Odo demanding that Kor be freed, looks at Odo and shouts "KEEP HIM!" Kor just waves goodbye and goes back to sleep. Odo rolls his eyes and sighs long-sufferingly.
** Before that, when Koloth first enters, Odo asks him how he got into the cell block.
-->'''Koloth''': [[ShapedLikeItself I am Koloth.]]
-->'''Odo''': That doesn't answer my question.
-->'''Koloth''': [[BadassBoast Yes, it does.]]
** On top of that is Odo's subsequent rant to Kira in Ops about how this has been another "Klingon afternoon," implying this isn't even the most outrageous day with the Klingons he's had.
* "Tribunal"
** "The offender Miles O'Brien, human, officer of the Federation's Starfleet, has been found guilty of aiding and abetting seditious acts against the state. The sentence is death; let the trial begin." - opening statement by the JUDGE in said justice system.
** The ending dialogue of the episode in which O'Brien gets [[KangarooCourt tried]] for being an enemy combatant by the Cardassians:
-->'''Cardassian defense lawyer:''' What happened?
-->'''Odo:''' You won.
-->'''Cardassian:''' ...[[OhCrap They'll ]]'' [[OhCrap kill]]'' [[OhCrap me]]...
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season 3]]
* Most of the episode "The House of Quark", which could earn a position on this list for concept alone (Quark becomes head of a Klingon Great House) but it doubles up with some HILARIOUS dialogue:
-->'''Rom:''' What about Kozak's family? What if they come here for revenge?
-->'''Quark:''' If that happens, I'll stand up, look them straight in the eye... and offer them a bribe.
-->---
-->'''Gowron:''' The charge has been made! You are accused of using... ''[[FelonyMisdemeanor money...]]'' to bring down a Great House!
-->---
-->'''Quark:''' I am Quark, son of Keldar, and I have come to answer the challenge of D'Ghor, son of... whatever.
** Then there's [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65l7RHUx2A this]]: there's just something utterly hilarious about watching ''the most powerful men in the Klingon Empire'' trying to wrap their heads around Quark's explanation of how D'Ghor financially manipulated the House of Kozak to the edge of bankruptcy.
** Gowron's initial reaction to having to deal with such a silly matter is priceless. The wide-eyed Klingon incarnation of AmbitionIsEvil on his throne of success, completely discombobulated and trying to pronounce Quark's name right.
* Odo attempting to stir a souffle in the beginning of "Equilibrium." Plus the beets conversation.
* Dukat's hilariously awkward team-up with the main characters in "Civil Defense" when he screws up and can't beam out of the station-- ''[[{{Troll}} after he'd beamed in specifically to gloat at them for not being able to fix the problem.]]'' Basically anything Dukat does in that episode, from his epic snarkbattle with Garak to his ordering tea from the replicator that's shooting at everybody.
** Sisko gets in a remark about Dukat, despite not actually interacting with him in the episode, after they've heard several minutes worth of Dukat's recorded messages.
--> '''Sisko:''' You know, I never knew how much this man's voice annoyed me.
* Almost the entirety of "Fascination."
** ...but special mention must go to Lwaxana dancing with Odo.
* In "The Past Tense, Part 2," O'Brien and Kira are hopping through time to find Sisko and Bahir but can't quite find the right time period. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNErziu0uLw When they find themselves in The Sixties...]]
* O'Brien has to work with a female Cardassian engineer who really gets on his nerves, and he responds in kind. Then he learns this is how Cardassians ''flirt''.
-->'''Gilora:''' I assure you, I'm quite fertile... I could provide you with many healthy children, if that's your concern, but frankly I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself.
* In the episode "Visionary", [=DS9=] plays host to a delegation of Romulans.
--> '''Sisko:''' When you're in with the Romulans, try to be... diplomatic.
--> '''Kira:''' [[BlatantLies I'm always diplomatic!]]
--> ''(GilliganCut to:)''
--> '''Kira:''' That is the most RIDICULOUS thing I have ever heard, and I resent the implication!
* The way Garak goes about pointing out that Odo had no reason to trust him in the first place in "The Die is Cast" after Odo acts betrayed. Odo gets the upper hand later in their battle of wits and wills but this line is priceless especially with Garak's trademark delivery.
-->'''Odo:''' I ''don't'' believe you Garak, and I doubt I'll believe much of what you have to say from now on, so save us both some trouble and leave me alone.
-->'''Garak:''' Why, Constable! You seem positively disappointed in me. Oh, I suppose it's understandable: after all I did pledge my undying devotion and eternal allegiance to both you and the Federation, and you and I have been through so much together, shared so many experiences, and I know you considered me a close friend. No wonder you feel betrayed.
* "Jerusalem"!! And the following conversation
-->'''O'Brien''' "I hated you when we first met! And now...I..."
-->'''Bashir:''' "And now..."
-->'''O'Brien'''"And now, [[IUhYouToo I...don't.]]"
* "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2q2ySAOyqo&feature=related I want you to take that rod and eat it!]]"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season 4]]
* Worf's first meeting with Kira and Dax, who had been up in the holosuite in a medieval fantasy program and in costume... including ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hennin hennin]]'' of all things (which Kira has an amusing fight with, trying to get it off her head).
-->'''Dax:''' I can't believe you did that!
-->'''Kira:''' He didn't leave me any choice!
-->'''Bashir:''' Wait, wait, wait. What did she do?
-->'''Dax:''' She knocked out Lancelot.
-->'''Kira:''' He kissed me!
-->'''Dax:''' He's ''supposed'' to kiss you!
-->''(Bashir and O'Brien chuckle, realizing Kira [[ComicallyMissingThePoint didn't get it]].)''
-->'''Kira:''' But I was playing a married woman!
-->'''Bashir:''' Lieutenant Commander Worf, this is Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax and Major Kira Nerys, our first officer.
-->'''Worf:''' ''({{Beat}})'' NiceHat.
* "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anUUJo8tDy8 You're going to hit them with a box?]]"
** Following from the above moment, Quark thinks he's got an ace in the hole when he gets out his disruptor prior to a Klingon attack on the station. However...
---> '''Odo''' (reading a note in Quark's disruptor pistol box): "Dear Quark, used parts from your disruptor to fix the replicators. Will return them soon. Rom."
--->'''Quark:''' I will ''kill'' him!
--->'''Odo''': With what?
** How can you have a moment be both this and [[Awesome/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Awesome]] at the same time? Garak walks up to Dukat and offer his hand in defending the Council from Klingons about to invade the station. While Dukat accepts the help, he and Garak trade barbs the entire time... ''[[CasualDangerDialogue even while holding off a rush of about ten Klingons.]]''
--> '''Garak:''' I find this hand-to-hand combat really quite distasteful!
--> '''Dukat:''' I suppose you prefer the simplicity of an interrogation chamber!
--> '''Garak:''' You have to admit it's much more civilized!
** Also, the priceless reply to a belligerent Klingon insulting Odo (in [[PardonMyKlingon his native tongue]], naturally):
--> '''Garak:''' Actually, I'm not sure Constable Odo ''has'' a mother.
* In "Hippocratic Oath":
--->'''O'Brien''' Exactly! See, you understand! Now why can't she see that? Why can't she be more like y- [trails off and pretends to be busy looking at the console]
--->'''Bashir''' More like...?
--->'''O'Brien''' Um...er... more like - more like a man!
--->'''Bashir''' [with a look that just screams 'oh yeah, brilliant save there'] So... you wish Keiko was a man?
--->'''O'Brien''' I wish I was on this trip with someone else, that's what I wish!
* Dukat getting a cactus spine in his ass and Kira having to pull it out.
* Everything about "Our Man Bashir" (before it gets dramatic), especially if you're a ''Film/JamesBond'' fan. Such as Bashir knocking out a man with a champagne cork and making a gun out of parts of his shoe.
** And of course, the always classic:
-->'''Anastasia''' (who looks like Kira): I never thought I'd see you alive again after you fell out of that dirigible over Iceland!
-->'''Bashir''': I had a parachute... and there was a submarine waiting for me.
** Garak gets to flex his dry wit as well.
-->'''Bashir''': I work for one of the nation-states of this era, Great Britain, which is battling various other nations in what is called the Cold War. This apartment, my clothes, weapons, even my valet were provided to me by my government.\\
'''Garak''': ...I think I joined the wrong intelligence service.

-->'''Garak''': Kiss the girl, get the key - they never taught me ''that'' in the Obsidian Order.

-->'''Garak''': I only know one thing for sure, Doctor... When the molten lava begins pouring into this cave, you and I are going to be ''very'' uncomfortable.

-->'''Garak''': Interesting, you saved the day by destroying the world.\\
'''Bashir''': I bet they didn't teach you ''that'' in the Obsidian Order.
* Worf gets his tooth sharpener stolen in the episode "Bar Association." While he's ranting that nothing like this ever happened on the ''Enterprise,'' Odo just grins and begins to read off a long, long list of similar incidents. You know he's just been ''waiting'' for the chance to do this.
** Hilariously, the PADD with this list is just lying on top of his desk, and he doesn't actually press any buttons when he picks it up--he probably took it out any time he had to meet with Worf, waiting eagerly for the chance to use it.
* In the episode [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecx9GUtqb1E "Accession"]]:
-->'''Quark (to Worf):''' Did you hear? Keiko's gonna have another baby!
-->'''Worf (alarmed):''' ...'''''Now?!'''''
** [[ContinuityNod Remember the time]] in [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration TNG]] where Worf had to ''deliver'' a baby? ''Keiko's'' baby? '''''He''' does.''
** It goes on and gets even funnier:
-->'''O'Brien:''' No, seven months from now.
-->'''Worf:''' Seven months. Unfortunately, I will be away from the station at that time. ''Far'' away. Visiting my parents. On Earth. Excuse me.
* The otherwise heartbreaking episode "The Quickening" starts with Quark having manipulated Deep Space Nine's systems to broadcast his advert: "Come to Quark's, Quark's is fun!". Major Kira threatens that if they aren't removed by the time she gets back from their next mission, "I will come to Quark's. And I ''will'' [[ToThePain have fun]]."
** And then Worf comes in moments after we see the ad, and reveals that Quark has tampered with the replicators as well, to serve all beverages in mugs that sing the same jingle when tipped.
* "To the Death":
--> '''Omet'iklan:''' I am First Omet'Iklan, and I am dead...
--> ...
--> '''O'Brien:''' ''I'' am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien. I'm very much alive and I intend to ''stay'' that way. (''crewmen laugh'')
--> '''Sisko:''' Amen. Let's get it done!
* Pretty much all of "Body Parts", but especially the scene where Quark and Garak are testing assassination methods for Quark in the holosuite:
--> (After Garak snaps holo-Quark's neck)
-->'''Garak:''' How's that?
-->'''Quark:''' Awful. Did you hear that sound of bone snapping? I don't want that to be the last thing I hear.
-->'''Garak:''' It wasn't ''that'' loud...
-->'''Quark:''' You don't have these ears. Snapping vertebrae is out.
-->'''Garak:''' We're running out of options, Quark. You don't want to be vaporized because you need a body, the disruptor ruined your clothes, the knife was too savage, the nerve gas ''smelled'' bad, hanging took too long, and poison...what was wrong with poison?
-->'''Quark:''' It won't work. If I know my food is poisoned, I won't eat it.
** Also, Quark's hilarious revelation that he isn't actually dying from a terminal illness:
-->'''Dr. Bashir:''' Quark, I just got an odd message from a Dr. Orpax on Ferenginar. He wanted me to tell you he's very sorry. You don't have Dorek's syndrome. Does that make any sense to you?
-->'''Rom:''' You don't have Dorek's Syndrome...
-->'''Quark:''' You know what that means, Rom?
-->'''Rom:''' It means you're going to live!
-->'''Quark:''' It means I get to sue Dr. Orpax for malpractice! ...and I'm going to live.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season 5]]
* From "Apocalypse Rising":
--> '''Dukat:''' Major, I must say I'm shocked [to find out that] you're pregnant! I hope First Minister Shakaar appreciates what a lucky man he is.\\
'''Kira:''' Shakaar's not the father.\\
'''Dukat:''' (''Sounding perplexed'') Then who is?\\
'''Kira:''' (''nonchalantly'') Chief O'Brien! [[note]](ItMakesSenseInContext, but Dukat doesn't have the proper context, and is surprised enough to be struck absolutely speechless for probably the only time in the entire series.)[[/note]]
** Said moment is even funnier when you remember that Dukat's hobby consists of making 8 babies with his wife, having Bajoran mistresses, and keeping track of pretty much everyone he knows' (but '''''especially''''' Kira's) sex life. He goes away for a couple of months and then ''that'' happens? Dukat's face just shows a look of "Oh, I go away for a few months and you people start doing the kinky shit! DAMMIT!"
*** Does this mean Dukat was imagining a Kira x Miles x Keiko threesome? Wow Dukat, you're a perv.
** And speaking of [[RealitySubtext who the father of Kira's baby is]]... [[note]]Nana Visitor [[WrittenInInfirmity really was pregnant]]. The father was Alexander Siddig, who plays Dr. Bashir.[[/note]]
---> '''Kira:''' But don't forget, this [her being pregnant]... is still your fault.\\
'''Bashir:''' My fault?\\
'''Kira:''' You performed the transfer from Keiko to me.\\
'''Bashir:''' After you volunteered.\\
'''Kira:''' After you put the idea in my head.\\
'''Bashir:''' After you flew the runabout into the asteroid field.\\
'''Kira:''' After you insisted we check on those anomalous bio-scans.\\
'''Bashir:''' That was Keiko.\\
'''Kira:''' That's right. It was. But I'd rather blame you.

** Oh, and let's not forget her version of MorningSickness.
---> (Kira begins sneezing)\\
'''Jadzia''': Two. Three. I say she stops at seven.\\
'''Sisko''': I say eight. Mr. Worf?\\
'''Worf''': (reluctantly) Ten.\\
'''Kira''': (stops after sneezing eight times) Uh, I hate being pregnant!\\
'''Sisko''': [[{{Troll}} I win]].
** And at the end...
---> '''Sisko''': In the meantime, I want [Odo] left alone to rest, agreed?\\
'''Kira''': ''Atchoo!!!''\\
'''Sisko''': Agreed.
* Quark's "impassioned" speech to Grilka in "Looking for ''par'Mach'' in All the Wrong Places". Desperately stalling for time so that Dax can fix the mechanism Worf's using to control Quark's ''bat'leth'', he invents the Ferengi Rite of Proclamation so that he can make a speech.
--> '''Quark:''' To this end... my blade soars... through the... aquarium... of my soul... seeking the... kelp of discontent which must be severed so that the rocky bottom of lies waiting, with fertile... sand for the coming seed of Grilka's affection.\\
''[pauses; goes slower and more sincerely this time]''\\
'''Quark:''' And yet... does this explain my need for her? No. It is like... a giant cave of emptiness... waiting... for the bats of love to hang by--\\
''[Worf gets the machine fixed; back to the fighting]''
** Also: "War! What is it good for? If you ask me, absolutely nothing."
** "No... No, I don't need that image, either. In fact I'm gonna stop asking that question altogether. People will come in, I will treat them, and that's all."
** Worf's attempt to woo Grilka at the start involves tossing Morn out of his seat. Before doing so, he hesitates.
--> '''Worf:''' I will apologize for this later.
* In "...Nor the Battle to the Strong", Bashir and Jake assist an emergency hospital close to a Klingon warzone. Afterwards, when Bashir makes a surgery joke about his food, it causes Jake to become nauseous and run out the room past three Starfleet doctors who were on the same shift casually eating.
--> '''Doctor 1:''' His first day?
--> '''Doctor 2:''' Yeah.
--> '''Doctor 3:''' Pass the salt.
* Does the word "tribble" appear in an episode's title? If so, prepare to laugh long and hard.
** "Trials and Tribble-ations", and one speech by Bashir (and response by O'Brien):
--->'''Bashir''': "You know, no one ever met my great-grandfather. This could be a predestination paradox! Come on, chief, surely you took elementary temporal mechanics at the Academy? I may be destined to fall in love with that woman and become my own... [[MyOwnGrampa great-grandfather]]."\\
''O'Brien gives Bashir a disbelieving look that could melt glass''\\
'''Bashir''': "Come on, chief, you can't just dismiss this!"\\
'''O'Brien''': "I can try."\\
'''Bashir''': "All right, but I can't wait to see the look on your face when we get back to Deep Space Nine and you find out ''I never existed!''"
*** Kira asks them if they're ready for beam-out. O'Brien's reply: "Are we ''ever!''"
**** O'Brien ''almost'' manages to keep a straight face as they are beamed out.
** When Worf, Odo, Bashir and O'Brien are in the bar and see Scotty, Chekov, and Freeman enter, they confuse Freeman (from behind) for Kirk. Freeman was played by Paul Baxley, William Shatner's stunt double.
** Worf and the angry tribble. Enough said.
---> "Where did you get that... thing?"
*** And of course Odo: "Oh, another glorious chapter in Klingon history. Tell me, do they still sing songs of 'The Great Tribble Hunt?'"
** Sisko tries to contact the ''Defiant'' by tapping his chest... then remembers that this is the 23rd century, and there's nothing there but cloth. He has to actually pull out his communicator, flip it open, and repeat his hail.
*** It's the look on Dax's face that really sells that moment.
** There's also the pair of Department of Temporal Investigations agents, who play the "[[ComicallySerious humorless]] [[TheMenInBlack government investigator]]" stereotype to the hilt.
*** And their names are Dulmer and Lucsly. [[TheXFiles Guess what these are anagrams for.]]
** And the ending, where tribbles have overrun the Promenade, with Quark leaning against the bar, surrounded by tribbles and one on his head.[[note]]This shot is a Call Back to an nearly-identical one with the K-7 bartender in the original episode.[[/note]]
-->'''Odo''': Did you tell them?
-->'''Sisko''': They didn't ask. I'm open to suggestions, people.
-->'''Dax''': We could build another station.
** ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey butt]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.
--->'''Dax''' (upon spotting Kirk and Spock): He's so much more handsome in person. Those eyes!
--->'''Sisko''': Kirk had quite the reputation as a ladies' man.
--->'''Dax''': Not ''him''. Spock.
*** Later, we find out that those stray tribbles that keep falling on Kirk's head are, in-universe, being tossed by Sisko and Dax.
** For a while during that episode Jadzia was struggling to figure out where she knew the name ''[=McCoy=]'' from, turns out she actually met him when she judged a gymnastics competition as Emony at ''Ole Miss'', she wasn't surprised to see he was a doctor then; [[{{Squick}} remembering fondly]] that he had [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar the hands of a surgeon]].
*** Sisko then responds with an AsideGlance that clearly says "TooMuchInformation."
** They have to scan every tribble on the Enterprise and station K7. O'Brien and Bashir protest, citing there there must be thousands of them.
---> '''Dax:''' One million, seven hundred and seventy one thousand, five hundred and sixty one. That's starting with one tribble with an average litter of ten every twelve hours. After three days.
*** Later, she and Sisko are in the storage compartment that Kirk opens and hear Spock make the same calculations. She looks to Sisko with a look of 'told you so.'
** The entire segment where Odo, O'Brien, and Bashir see the Klingons from that era, much to their disbelief, and an embarrassed Worf confirming that they are Klingons. When the others ask for an explanation of why they look so different, he merely replies with a prickly "We do not discuss the matter with outsiders."
** O'Brien, by any measure one of Starfleet's best engineers, being completely baffled by ''Enterprise's'' systems (and the modifications Scotty has made to them)--to the point that he can't use an elevator and almost blows his cover by cutting power to an entire deck.
* First in ''The Ascent'', Quark gets a classic piece of snark out as he grabs a pad from an infuriated Odo, as he's being escorted to a court hearing:
-->'''Quark:''' Or what? What're you gonna do, arrest me?
** Then reaches a new level as he reads from [[StopHavingFunGuys Odo's]] pad: [[spoiler: '''it's a trashy romance novel.''']]
* ''Rapture'' is a mostly serious episode, but it does include one particular gem from the party [[spoiler: celebrating Bajor's upcoming acceptance into the Federation.]] Everyone is in the bar when Quark calls for silence, and directs their attention to a couple of Dabo girls on the balcony, holding a folded up cloth. He calls for a drumroll, the cloth is unfurled over the balcony, revealing...[[spoiler: a banner displaying the insignia of the Klingon Empire and "WELCOME KLINGONS" written in Klingonese characters underneath. Quark has to quickly pull the RIGHT banner displaying the Federation insignia out from behind the bar.]]
* "In Purgatory's Shadow" and "By Inferno's Light" had some very funny scenes.
** Worf assuring Sisko he'll bring Garak back.
---> '''Sisko:''' I don't need to tell you to keep an eye on him.
---> '''Worf:''' At the first sign of betrayal, I will kill him. [Beat] But I promise to return the body intact.
** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the butt of an elaborate joke.
---> '''Worf:''' Do not play games with me! You have no intention of joining Starfleet, do you?
---> '''Garak:''' No, I'm afraid I don't.
---> '''Worf:''' Then why all this deception?
---> '''Garak:''' Because lying is a skill like any other and to maintain a level of excellence, one must practice it constantly.
---> '''Worf:''' Practice on someone else!
---> '''Garak:''' Mr Worf, you're no fun at all.
---> '''Worf:''' Good!
** On the same runabout trip, we learn Garak doesn't care much for [[StarTrekTheNextGeneration Picard]]'s tea of choice.
---> '''Garak:''' I would like to get my hands on that fellow Earl Grey and tell him a thing or two about tea leaves!
** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before getting smacked with the butt of a disruptor rifle.
** Ziyal's sarcastic reaction to Quark moaning about a loss of profits if the Dominion takes over the station.
---> '''Quark:''' The Jem'Hadar don't eat, don't drink and they don't have sex. To make matters worse, the Founders don't eat, don't drink and they don't have sex either. Which, between me and you, makes my financial future less than certain.
---> '''Ziyal:''' It might not be so bad. For all we know, the Vorta might be gluttonous, alcoholic sex-maniacs.
---> '''Quark:''' [Oblivious to the sarcasm] You're right! I wonder what their favourite food is!
** A subtle but funny callback at the end of the two-parter. Near the start of the two-parter, Garak promised a worried Ziyal he'd return safely and she reached out to touch his hand. Dukat, who had just arrived on the station and spotted this, attacked Garak in a rage over getting too close to Ziyal. At the very end of the two-parter, when Ziyal launches herself into Garak's arms in relief at seeing him back in one piece, he does not immediately return the hug. Instead, he shoots a furtive look around the place as if expecting Dukat to attack him from the shadows before relaxing and returning the hug.
* After Bashir learns he's being considered as the model for a new medical hologram:
-->'''O'Brien:''' Just think. If this pans out, you'll be able to annoy hundreds of people you've never even met!
* During "Business As Usual" a ragged O'Brien puts Yoshi down for a nap...in ops. Specifically, the pit. Everyone in ops [[CutenessProximity comes over to see him.]]
* In "Ferengi Love Songs", Quark comes home to stay for awhile and finds the Grand Nagus hiding in his closet. He later finds Liquidator Brunt in his closet... ''twice''.
** Kira gets to play CommanderContrarian when Leeta is trying to convince herself she did the right thing by calling off her upcoming wedding to Rom (doubles as CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming as well):
-->'''Leeta:''' I hate him.
-->'''Kira:''' No, you don't.
-->'''Leeta:''' All he loves is latinum.
-->'''Kira:''' No, he doesn't.
-->'''Leeta:''' Cancelling that wedding was the best thing that ever happened to me.
-->'''Kira:''' No, it isn't.
-->'''Leeta:''' I am so glad, he's out of my life.
-->'''Kira:''' No, you're not.
-->'''Leeta:''' Major, you haven't been listening to me.
-->'''Kira:''' Yes, I have.
* "Soldiers of the Empire" starts with General Martok in the infirmary after getting injured while training in a holosuite (he'd spent two years [[spoiler:in a Dominion POWCamp]], lost an eye, and said his reflexes were dulled). Julian tells him off for being a moron, and after some back-and-forth grumbling Martok thanks him for fixing him up.
--> '''Julian:''' You really want to thank me? Don't walk in here dripping blood anymore. It takes days to get it out of the carpet!
* Though it's a major DownerEnding episode, "Children of Time" has one of the funniest Worf moments in ''Star Trek'':
-->'''Brota:''' Are you the son of Mogh?
-->'''Worf:''' Yes.
-->'''Brota:''' Is it true you can kill someone just by looking at them?
-->'''Worf:''' ''([[{{Beat}} a beat]])'' Only when I am angry.
* In "Blaze Of Glory" there's an interesting off-screen story of how Quark made one of his patrons freak out by sharing his opinion that the Dominion was going to win the war and kill everyone on the station. The poor guy hits Quark with a barstool, runs screaming through the promenade and surprises a meditating Kira by bursting into the Bajoran Shrine completely naked and crying for the Prophets to protect him. What makes it hilarious is the identity of the patron: [[spoiler: Morn]]. ''Wow''.
** And what makes it even funnier is both Bashir's silent appalled reaction to Quark's prophecies of doom, and the utterly deadpan way Odo dryly summarizes it all:
---> '''Odo:''' And that's when [[spoiler: Morn]] hit you with a bar stool and ran onto the promenade screaming ''"We're all doomed."''\\
'''Quark:''' Some people just don't react well to stress.
* "In the Cards," just in general. "The entire future of the galaxy may depend on us tracking down Willie Mays...and stopping him."
** To put the above quote in context: Nog and Jake are scurrying around the station trying to get a Willie Mays rookie baseball card for captain Sisko. Weyoun is wondering what the hell is going on and abducts them to interrogate them. After their first story falls flat (that they were trying to get Sisko a baseball card), they tell this hugely over the top story about how the guy in the card is in fact a time traveler. Weyoun says that he believes them. Nog, in utter disbelief, asks "You do?" (Weyoun believes their first story and sends them on their way).
** Worf staring intently at some wall art.
--> '''Sisko:''' Worf, you've been paroled. You can go now.
** Jake and Nog spend the majority of the episode busily working on their ChainOfDeals to obtain the baseball card. At one point Worf has Nog use his [[SuperSenses Ferengi hearing]] to detect and remove subharmonic distortions from his Klingon opera recordings. The fact that Worf is [[SuperOCD just anal enough]] to want to get rid of distortions he ''isn't even capable of hearing'' is hilarious.
** Jake very earnestly explaining to Odo the nature of Geiger's work: "It's a device used to keep the cells in your body from getting bored. You see, he was going to transmit messages to people's cells to keep them entertained so they wouldn't die off and as a result these people would... live forever."
*** Cut to the Promenade and Nog fretting about Odo charging them with filing false reports.
** Don't forget about Jake guilt-tripping Nog into helping him in the first place. Nog realizes it immediately, but can't resist the power of Jake's [[LargeHam Ham]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season 6]]
* In "Rocks and Shoals", Sisko's crew is in pretty dire straits; they've just crashlanded on a hostile planet, having to abandon their ship and swim to shore. They're lightyears from any help, there're still enemies in the area, and Dax has been severely injured. Then, as they're crawling up onto the beach, we get this:
--> '''O'Brien:''' Ah, ''no.''
--> '''Sisko:''' What?
--> '''O'Brien:''' Oh, I don't ''believe'' it!
--> '''Sisko:''' ''What?''
--> '''O'Brien:''' I tore my pants!
--> ''(Beat.)''
--> '''Sisko:''' You...you tore your pants? (Begins to laugh.)
--> ''(Beat.)''
--> '''O'Brien:''' (Also begins to laugh.)...Yeah, I tore my pants!
--> '''Everyone else:''' (Is laughing by this point.)
--> '''O'Brien:''' I guess, I guess I'm ''really'' in trouble now, huh?
* "I just shared a bottle of kanar...with, Damar! Hehehe, that rhymes!"
** And Quark talking of why he can't stand Jem Hadar. "They just sit there. Starrrrrring...."
** Drunk Quark in general is a scene stealer
-->'''Quark:''' Why didn't you think of that when you set up the minefield?
-->'''Rom:''' Uh...I don't know.
-->'''Quark:''' *Mockingly" Duh, he doesn't know.
* From the episode "You Are Cordially Invited":
** Worf and Martok are conversing about whether Jadzia can sufficiently impress Martok's wife Lady Sirella, who has veto power over the marriage (being that it would be bringing an outsider into House Martok). Martok reveals that Sirella doesn't like Worf either, but then:
---> '''Martok:''' Don't let that bother you. I had every right to bring you into the family and she's accepted the fact that there's nothing she can do about it.\\
'''Worf:''' ''(completely deadpan)'' How comforting.\\
'''Martok:''' ''(stares at him, then bursts out laughing)'' And they say that [[ComicallySerious you have no sense of humor]]. BA HA HA HA HA HA!
** when the crew of Deep Space Nine have agreed to join Worf's Klingon bucks party, which is like a human bucks party, minus the fun and with added pain.
-->''Scene shows O'Brien and Bashir hanging by the arms over hot rocks.''\\
'''Bashir:''' Miles...it's working. I've had a vision, about the future. I can see it so clearly.\\
'''O'Brien:''' What is it?\\
'''Bashir:''' I'm gonna kill Worf. I'm gonna kill Worf. That's what I'm gonna do. I can see it clearly now, I'm going to ''kill''... him...
** This becomes their [[SurvivalMantra Survival]]/MadnessMantra.
-->'''Bashir ''and'' O'Brien''': ''Kill'' Worf. ''Kill'' Worf...
** As part of the Klingon marriage tradition Sisko, O'Brien, and Bashir are required to assault the newlyweds immediately after they tie the knot. After the ordeal they've been through, O'Brien and Bashir are... enthusiastic about this.
** The first sign of trouble is, rather than the 4 day party the humans expected, they begin a 4-day fast and deal with extreme heat. This is the "Deprivation", the first of six stages. What are the other five? "Blood, pain, anguish, suffering, and death" - words you never want to hear from a Klingon in your direction.
** What makes matters worse is that the ceremony is usually supposed to take much longer. When Bashir is astonished at having to do it for "four days," Martok replies that it is a shame that they have so little time, but they will have to make due.
*** Immediately after the stages are listed:
--->'''Bashir''': Sounds like marriage, all right.\\
'''O'Brien''': How would ''you'' know?
*** Although it's notable that Martok and Worf are not present in the scenes where O'Brien and Bashir are undergoing deprivation, suggesting that the two Klingons are having a joke at the Humans' expense.
**** Also absent during these scenes are Sisko and Alexander, the two most likely to call BS on what Worf and Martok are saying as they have better experience with "[[FanNickname Klingon Klaptrap]]," lending more credence to the thought that this is a joke at O'Brien and Bashir's expense.
*** And O'Brien and Bashir can't catch a break - they get a reprieve from the fasting when Dax and Worf call the wedding off, and just when they're about to get served a full course meal by Quark, they find out the wedding - and thus, the bachelor's fast - is back on. And you ''know'' that Quark still billed them for the food.
---->'''Sisko:''' Quark, take it all away. No food for those on the path to Kal'Hyah.
---->'''Quark:''' No refunds for those on the path to Kal'Hyah as well. Sorry.
** The Klingon wedding ceremony involves sword play and a promise by each to slay the other's enemies, which is written into the vows--because, well, of course it would be.
** The first trial of Worf's "bachelor party" requires ritual bloodletting. Worf and Martok ask for volunteers, and promptly turn their backs. Sisko gives O' Brien a silent cue to take a step back, without alerting Julian, making it seem like he "volunteered."
* "The Magnificent Ferengi":
** The look on Sisko's face when Quark and Rom accidentally pop out of the hatch in his office.
** Quark and his recruited team of Ferengi associates failing miserably at a holosuite simulation for rescuing Ishka (Quark's mother) from the Dominion. Quark ends up getting shot in the leg, his cousin Gaila dropped his weapon and ran away while screaming, Rom ran into a wall, and Brunt tried to surrender (and got shot for his trouble). Seeing all of this happen, [[AxCrazy Leck]] decided ''to shoot Ishka'', reasoning that he might as well "put her out of her misery" since the Ferengi clearly weren't able to rescue Ishka.
** "[[DyingCurse I HATE Ferengi]]".
** Ishka giving Yelgrun financial pointers, with every indication that the latter actually appreciates the advice.
** Rom not being ''quite'' as good at pulling a Weekend at Bernie's gambit as he thought he was.
* "Who Mourns for Morn?". All of it, but especially the classic line:
-->'''[[ConMan Quark]]:''' Someone's extracted all the '''[[{{Unobtanium}} latinum]]!''' There's nothing here but [[WorthlessYellowRocks worthless]] '''gold!'''\\
'''Odo:''' [savoring the {{Schadenfreude}}] And it's all yours.\\
'''[[UltimateSalesman Quark]]:''' '''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]'''
** Immediately after this, we cut to Quark wiping down the bar until he eyes Morn's vacated bar stool and attempts to rip it out in a fit of rage.
* One in the middle of the otherwise [[DarkerAndEdgier very dark episode]] "In the Pale Moonlight":
-->'''Garak''': I've locked him in his quarters. I've also left him with the distinct impression that if he attempts to force the door open, it may explode.
-->'''Sisko''': I hope that's ''just'' an impression.
-->'''Garak''': It's best not to dwell on such minutiae.
* "His Way": [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtMftTJwKt0 One of the stranger first kisses in TV history.]]
** Same episode- Quark clearly enjoying himself baiting poor lovesick Odo:
-->'''Quark''': You're not exactly the most lovable person in the galaxy. You're not even the most lovable person in this sector. Or on the station. Or even in this room.
** How about the scene where Odo interrupts Julian's spy holonovel to ask him for advice? The conversation distracts Julian enough that O'Brien (as a villain) shows up on the other side of Julian's car and points a gun at him.
-->'''O'Brien:''' [breaking character] Hi, Odo!
** Dax watching Odo snogging Kira with what can only be accurately described as a "[[ShipperOnDeck Get it, girl]]!" expression on her face.
* From "Profit and Lace":
--> '''Grand Nagus Zek''': Boys, we're going to reconquer an empire, or [[LargeHam DIIIIIEE]] in the attempt!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Season 7]]
* Sisko's reaction to Ezri telling him that he intimidates Worf.
-->'''Ezri:''' You ''like'' that, don't you?
-->'''Sisko''' ''[trying not to laugh and failing]:'' Of course not.
-->'''Ezri:''' Come ''on.'' I've been a ''man,'' I ''know.''
* The episode "Take Me Out To The Holosuite" gets its kicks in this category. O'Brien making Scotch-flavored chewing gum and Odo practicing his umpire-manship are classic in their own rights, but Worf's lines throughout are comedy ''gold''.
-->'''Sisko:''' All right Niners, let's hear some chatter!\\
'''Niners:''' Hey, batter, batter, batter! Swing batter!\\
'''Worf:''' ''DEATH TO THE OPPOSITION!!''

-->'''O'Brien:''' He didn't touch home, Nog!\\
'''Nog:''' Well, what do I do?\\
'''Worf:''' Find him and '''''KILL''''' him!!
** Possibly the earliest moment in the episode: Sisko announces just what game their "clash of the Titans" is going to be. Kira looks up at him with an expression that ''screams'' "I hate you," "My commanding officer is a twelve-year-old boy," "I want a transfer," and "I am going to get you for this," all without saying a single word. Poor woman.
*** Even better? Earlier in the series, she had admitted that she viewed him as a messenger of her ''gods''. Now think of this situation in that light.
** When Worf and Sisko argue with umpire Odo over the called third strike on Worf.
--> '''Sisko:''' You can't ''tell'' me that ball was over the plate. What were you doing, ''regenerating?!''
** Speaking of Odo, the look on his face when he ejects Solok from the game for touching the umpire.
** At one point the enemy captain watches the crew practice. Worf states if he is conducting reconnaissance, he must fear their team. Rom goes up to bat. After spinning around, landing on the ground, and throwing the bat, the enemy captain just ''leaves''.
** After the game, Solok makes yet another remark about humans.
---> '''Ezri:''' Human? Did I forget to wear my spots today?
---> '''Quark:''' All that intelligence and he still doesn't know what a human looks like.
** Rom's actor (Max Grodenchik) apparently was such a good baseball player in real life that he couldn't fake being bad effectively enough, so they made him play with his off hand.
* The Jack Pack sneaking back to DS9 in "Chrysalis". How? By dressing Patrick up as an admiral and having him say "That's a stupid question!" And it ''works!''
* Often overlooked as a "[[CosmicPlaything O'Brien must suffer]]" episode, "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River", Sisko orders O'Brien to repair the ''Defiant'' in an impossible amount of time. To procure a part that the chief won't be able to get in time using the normal channels, Nog uses O'Brien's access code to pull off a string of horse trades worthy of [[Series/{{Mash}} Corporal Klinger]]. Of course many of these trades are borderline illegal, and as the episode goes on, it seems increasingly likely that O'Brien will be facing a court martial, demoted, and possibly murdered by Martok.
-->'''O'Brien:''' I dont know how you did it, Nog.\\
'''Nog:''' I never lost faith in the Great Material Continuum.\\
'''O'Brien:''' Ah, like you say, the river will provide.\\
'''Martok:''' Chief!\\
'''O'Brien:''' The waters just got choppy again.
** One of the people Nog deals with is an unseen officer, Al Lorenzo, who likes to take pictures of himself sitting behind famous captains' desks (even [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Picard]] gets name-checked). As part of a trade, Nog loans out Sisko's desk to Lorenzo, and it goes missing while Sisko is away. O'Brien's attempt to simply replace the desk leave a lot to be desired.
--->'''O'Brien:''' What do you think?\\
'''Bashir:''' It's white.\\
'''O'Brien:''' I know it's white, I'm gonna paint it.\\
'''Bashir:''' It's the wrong shape, the wrong height, the wrong width. Other than that, it's perfect. The captain will never suspect you switched desks on him.\\
'''O'Brien:''' Julian, I need help, not sarcasm.\\
'''Bashir:''' I'm afraid Nog is the only one that can help you now.\\
'''O'Brien:''' If he gets back to the station before the captain does.\\
'''Bashir:''' Maybe he's not coming back. Maybe he's decided to make a run for it.\\
''(Kira enters and looks at the new desk)''\\
'''Kira:''' That isn't the captain's desk!\\
'''Bashir:''' He's gonna paint it.\\
'''Kira:''' Get it out of here!
* A shipment of ''Gagh'' arriving on DS9 during "Prodigal Daughter". Ordered by Jadzia before her death, Ezri experiences some rather nauseating memories of how different varieties taste...and wriggle.
-->'''Ezri:''' I can remember what each one tastes like... and the way they... move when you swallow them. Torgud gagh wiggles. Filden gagh squirms. Meshta gagh jumps. [...] Bithool gagh has feet. [...] Wistan gagh is packed in targ blood... I have to go now.
* In ''The Emperor's New Cloak'', mirror-Garak is about to execute Quark, Rom and Zek. The trio then berate him for not being as competent and sophisticated as their Garak. An irritated and confused mirror-Garak then asks:
--> '''mirror-Garak''': I don't understand. Is this Garak of yours an assassin or a tailor?
--> (all together)
--> '''Quark''': Assassin.
--> '''Rom''': Tailor.
--> '''Zek''': Both.
* Weyoun threatening to turn Worf and Dax over to Damar if they do not respond to interrogation:
-->'''Legate Damar''': It is my duty to inform you that you will be turned over to a Cardassian tribunal, where you will be tried as war criminals.
-->'''Ezri Dax''': ''War criminals''? What are the charges?
-->'''Legate Damar''': That is not necessary for you to know. All you need to know is that you will be found guilty and executed.
** Damar's case of the giggles after Worf catches Weyoun off-guard and [[NeckSnap snaps his neck]]. (Creator/JeffreyCombs has a wonderfully startled expression when this happens, while Damar busts out laughing.) [[CloningGambit This doesn't slow Weyoun down much]], but he's miffed that Damar "[[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing finds the death of my predecessor so amusing]]."
-->'''Damar:''' The execution is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Fourteen hundred hours.
-->'''Weyoun:''' Have they agreed to co-operate?
-->'''Damar:''' No. [{{beat}} as he tries and fails to keep a straight face] Maybe you should talk to Worf again!
** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[AssholeVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if not]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."
** It's also amusing when Weyoun remarks that Damar seems different, almost half-dressed, oh, that's it, he's [[TheAlcoholic not holding a bottle]]...only to [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint massively misunderstand]] Damar's new optimism as being tied to the ''victory'' of the Dominion, rather than having decided to backstab them.
* The scene in "Extreme Measures" when Julian is trying to convince Miles that he loves him more than Keiko.
-->'''O'Brien:''' "Julian, you are beginning to annoy me!"
** The look on Sisko's face and his little 'oh' when Bashir and O'Brien inform him that they have obtained certain information through the use of illegal Romulan memory probes. You can just see him thinking, "This is going to be one of ''those'' plans."
* Martok is inducted into the Order of Kahless with Sisko and Admiral Ross in attendance of the ceremony. It begins, as most Klingon ceremonies do, with bloodletting. Sisko and Ross watch Gowron then Martok slice their palms open, and Sisko says to Ross that they're next. It takes a moment to sink in for Ross, and when it does, the look on his face is ''priceless''.
** Cut to later, and their hands are now bandaged.
--> '''Ross:''' It still stings.
-->'''Sisko:''' That's what the bloodwine's for.
* During the final party the O'Briens are discussing where to live when they move back to Earth. Various hometown suggestions are made. Worf keeps offering Minsk. RuleOfThree applies and is used well.
** Each repetition is more aggressive, to the point that the final 'Minsk' almost sounds like a threat.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Unsorted]]
* In one episode, O'Brien has Quark put up a dartboard in the bar and Quark attempts a throw, unfortunately, not only does he throw all three at once, they all end up hitting Morn, who even gives a groan of pain as he pulls the darts out of his skin!
** Gets a second joke when Worf arrives at the station. O'Brien cajoles Worf into taking a throw. He ends up throwing so hard that ''half the dart is buried in the board''.
* Remember the Prune Juice joke from TNG? It [[BrickJoke returns...]]
-->'''Worf:''' Prune juice, chilled.
-->'''Quark:''' (laughing) Prune juice!?
--> (Worf [[DeathGlare glares]] at him, and Quark stops laughing just as soon as he started.)
* Worf and Dax have been separated from each other for five weeks, and when they're reunited, Martok says that there is a matter that has been weighing heavily on Worf's mind - Dax scheduled the ritual targ sacrifice for after the feast, not before.
--> '''Dax:''' Okay, have it your way. First we'll shed blood, then we'll feast.
--> '''Worf:''' As it should be.
** Then, when Sisko offers a comment about how he suggests a small wedding...
--> '''Dax:''' Well, you get married the way you want, and I'll get married the way I want. ''(very pointed gesture to Worf)''
* Worf's classic response when religion is being discussed and someone inquires about Klingon deities.
--> '''Worf''': Our gods are dead. Klingon warriors slew them many centuries ago....They were more trouble than they were worth.
* Horrible yet funny: Intendent Kira of the mirror universe is languishing in a jail cell and tries flirting with the guard. He snarls that she executed his wife.
--> '''Kira''': What a coincidence! I was hoping you weren't married!
* Nog reporting for the mission with his relatively[[labelnote: note]] this being Star Trek and Nog being five feet tall on a very good day[[/labelnote]] [[BfG huge phaser rifle]] held at Port Arms.
[[/folder]]