* In the middle of the Martians' CurbStompBattle with Arcturus winning:
-->'''Martian Officer''': Sir, the Arcturans have destroyed the remainder of the fleet. I've sent a distress signal to all ships across the galaxy, but we're heading straight into their sun and our engines are about to explode!
-->'''Enforcer Drone''': '''I [-HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT.-]'''
-->'''Martian Officer''': Now would be a ''great'' time to start!
* After crashing into Old Man Wrenchmuller's Barn the '''FIRST''' time:
-->'''Corp. Pez:''' Who taught you you to drive, ya moron?!
-->'''Capt. Bipto:''' Nice landing, Blaznee!
-->'''Lt. Giggywig:''' Are we there?!
-->'''Blaznee:''' Kids... 3-D and driving '''JUST DON'T MIX.'''
* The Martians running away after the "Doughnut of Destruction" suffered an EpicFail:
-->'''Corporal Pez:''' ''"Prepare to die, Earth scum! Prepare to die, Earth scum!"'' I'm gonna make sure they carve that on your tombstone!
-->'''Lieutenant Giggywig:''' [[BigShutUp Ahhhhh, SHUT UP!!!]]
* Lieutenant Giggywig tries to explain to Captain Bipto that their invasion has failed:
-->'''Giggywig''': Let me sum up the entire situation in a nutshell: there are five of us, and four ''billion'' of them. They have Strategic Air Commands, nuclear powered submarines, and ''Creator/JohnWayne''. We have this. '''[holds up a small rifle]'''
-->'''Captain Bipto''': Is it loaded?
-->'''Giggywig''': Let's find out! '''[points the rifle at Bipto]'''
* Kathy pretty much basically summing up the movie's plot.
--> '''Kathy''': But, Dad they're not really bad, they're just... '''stupid'''.
* Sheriff Hoxly tries to contact Strategic Air Command in order to deal with the Martians. The operator mocks him.
-->'''Operator''': I'm sorry, sir, there's no such listing [for Strategic Air Command]. I do, however, have an almost unlimited listing for "psychiatrist".
** Prior to this call, Hoxly wanders into his kitchen and finds Vern sticking refrigerator magnets ''to his head''! Bonus points to Vern for the cheesy (albeit innocent) smile he puts on when Hoxly catches him, apparently aware that he probably shouldn't be doing that.
** Later, when Captain Bipto calls Vern, he quickly rips the magnets off his head and, having been witness to Hoxly's above telephone conversation, picks up the phone to answer. Despite his stoic voice, he is visibly confused when he realizes that Bipto's voice isn't coming from the phone.
* Deputy Sheriff Russel Pillsbury. He just wanted to impress his parents. See ButtMonkey on the main page to see how well that turned out.
* Giggywig, Pez, and Ziplock find out about the true nature of ''Radio/TheWarOfTheWorlds'', Blaznee decides to explain the situation to Brian. Cue all four of them laughing their asses off at the Martians' stupidity while Blaznee gives a disappointed facepalm.
* Wrenchmuller needs a fast ride back to his barn. He decides to steal Klembecker's Caddy and proceeds to drive it through a field to get to his farm faster. [[BrickJoke Klembecker is forced to drive his devastated Caddy to Wrenchmuller's place the next morning due to Vern destroying his pickup with the Farmzoid.]]
** Vern called Klembecker a butthead after he left the station. When Wrenchmuller finds the keys, Vern has marked out "Klembecker" and appended the label on the Caddy's keys to read "Mr. Butthead's Caddy".
* Vern after Bipto converts him into a robot. His footfalls are so heavy it sounds like he drops a vacuum cleaner with every step. In addition, his {{Keet}} personality as he is building the Farm-zoid with Captain Bipto, which includes him entering the screen from some truly bizarre angles.
** And let's not forget his features. A holographic display, an in-head radio, ocular welding lasers (which he has to power by spinning a car battery on one hand), and a receiver for the crew's Distress-O-Matic. The last of these is especially hilarious because the cut starts with Vern shoving the door open, [[TheDoorSlamsYou smacking Bipto's head]]. He then leans inside and continuously hollers out a short klaxon like he's got a maniacal printer stuck in his throat.
* At the near-end, after escaping into space [[spoiler: making sure the ship doesn't cause the aforementioned disaster of the ship imploding, wrecking havoc on the solar system, and the threat of the Enforcer Drone is destroyed]], Capt. Bipto is still very optimistic...
--> '''Capt. Bipto''': You know, we're only a few hours behind schedule, so...
--> '''... The other Martians turn to look at him...'''
--> '''Capt. Bipto''': ...If we hurry, we might make it to Arcturus in time to torture prisoners!
--> '''Other Martians''': [[BigShutUp Ahhhhh, SHUT UP!!!]]
** Doubly funny when you remember that the Martian fleet got the crap kicked out of them only moments into the movie.