* Many exchanges between David and Montana.
** This one:
--->'''David:''' Why aren't we having sex yet?\\
'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.[[note]] The fact that her UnusualEuphemism of choice is ''Mr.'' Fuzzy is a clue to her true identity.[[/note]]
** This exchange:
--->'''Montana:''' YOU - promised me you would get rid of Celeste. '''WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND YOU PROMISED! NAKED!'''\\
'''David:''' Hey! We were never naked.\\
'''Montana:''' Well, we ''could'' have been!
** Another exchange:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''({{beat}})'' Can I touch your breasts?\\
'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
* The scene of Jeffrey's disastrous DinnerTheatre performance of ''Theatre/DeathOfASalesman''. It's a wonder he's even able to get through the play each night.
-->''[exterior shot of the dinner theatre marquee, which now reads "JEFF Y NDERSON IS WILLY LOMAN IN ''DEATH OF A SALESMAN''"; inside, Jeffrey and two younger actors playing Biff and Happy Loman are performing the play's first flashback scene]''\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' Where'd you go this time, Pop?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[as Willy]'' Well, I went on the road and went north to Providence. Met the mayor!\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' The mayor of Providence?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' ''[loudly, to his wife]'' What'd he say?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man's Wife:''' The mayor.\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' Who?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man's Wife:''' The mayor of Providence!\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' WHO?\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' ''[raising his voice]'' You said the mayor of Providence, Pop?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[yelling]'' YEAH! THE MAYOR OF PROVIDENCE! ''[walks to the front of the stage and yells toward the hard of hearing man]'' RHODE ISLAND!\\
'''Female Patron:''' ''[accidentally upends her cup of coffee]'' Oh! ''[loudly]'' Waiter! Waiter! ''[she begins clinking her fork against her glass as David watches the play thoughtfully]''\\
'''Jeffrey:''' He was sitting in the hotel lobby!\\
'''Female Patron:''' Waiter! Waiter! ''[she continues clanking her fork against her glass as the waiters ignore her]''\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' What'd he say?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[marches toward the female patron's table while trying not to break character]'' He said, "Morning!" I said, "You got a fine city here, mayor!" ''[he wipes up the spilled coffee]'' And then-\\
'''Female Patron:''' You're doing so well up there!\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[clearly not encouraged by the compliment]'' And then, I had a cup of coffee with him- ''[two busboys bump into each other, dropping their trays with a loud crash; they begin arguing]'' I WENT TO BOSTON! ''[puts his arms around the actors playing Biff and Happy, who look almost as put upon as Jeffrey]'' FINE CITY, BOSTON! GOT A COUPLE OF OTHER TOWNS IN MASS, PORTLAND, BANGOR, AND '''STRAIGHT HOOOME!!''' ''[by this point, he almost has Biff and Happy in a headlock]''\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' What is he yelling?
* Celeste accuses Jeffrey of being an egomaniac because he thinks she's jealous of Lori dating him.
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(practically giggling)'' Of course I'm an egomaniac! I have America's Sweetheart '''CLIMBING UP MY DRAINPIPE!'''
* Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until [[GroinAttack she kicks him in the nuts]]. The joke is that while she's getting more and more turned on, he's acting like he feels nothing for her.
* Rose asking, "Why can't I write shit like this?" when Celeste has her big breakdown and confesses her dark secret to Jeffrey and Lori.
* The LiveEpisode quickly derails because Jeffrey [[BlindWithoutEm refuses to wear his glasses on camera.]] The fact that he is standing directly under a tasselled lantern and has to keep pushing the tassels off his forehead is icing on the cake.
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(preparing for his entrance)'' Here, hold those, I can't wear them. ''(hands his glasses to Tawny)''\\
'''Tawny:''' ''(tries to hand them back)'' I think you need them...\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(loud whisper)'' NO! They're ugly!\\
'''Tawny:''' But your eyes-\\
'''Technician:''' You're on! ''(hands Jeffrey an envelope)'' Go! Go, go! ''(Jeffrey leaves)''\\
'''Tawny:''' ''(tries on Jeffrey's glasses and blinks incredulously)'' Oh my god, this guy's blind as a bat!...\\
''(on set, Jeffrey makes his entrance)''\\
'''Celeste:''' ''(as Maggie, reading teleprompter)'' Dr. Randall, what a surprise. Are you having lunch here?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(as Dr. Randall, reading teleprompter)'' I will if it's that sample. ''(Burton, the director, looks confused)'' Heh... ''(peers at teleprompter)'' I wish it was that simple.\\
'''Edmund:''' ''(watching in his office)'' This guy never heard of contact lenses?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' The test results have come back.\\
'''Celeste:''' And?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. ''(reading teleprompter)'' It seems that... Angelique has a... rare case... of brake fluid. ''(squints)'' Bran fluid. Bran flavor.\\
'''Burton:''' ''(whispers)'' Brain fever.\\
'''David:''' ''(watching in Edmund's office)'' Brain fever.\\
'''Edmund:''' ''SAY IT!''\\
'''Celeste:''' ''(hisses)'' Brain fever!\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(nods)'' Brain fever. Or, what we call in Austria... ''(he stares at the teleprompter in disbelief; Celeste looks at the teleprompter and gets a similar look on her face)'' ...''kopfgeschlagen.''[[note]][[TapOnTheHead a knock on the head]][[/note]] ''(looks quietly pleased with himself)'' At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the-\\
'''Celeste:''' "Literally explode".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Exactly, within the next three houses-\\
'''Celeste:''' "Hours".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, will literally explode within the next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.\\
'''Celeste:''' "The restaurant".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Restaurant, yes.\\
'''Celeste:''' Her brain will actually explode?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, I've, uh... ''(looks over his fingers at teleprompter)'' I've seen it happen. It's a dreadful... it's a dreadful, dreadful thug... thing.
* The climax of the plot.
-->'''Edmund:''' ''(watching in his office as the LiveEpisode slides into hasty improvisation)'' There's a nurse at the restaurant... did I miss a meeting!?
* Montana's hasty justification for her insistence on a brain transplant for Maggie/Celeste: "I also took an oath. The Nurse's Oath!"
-->'''Rose:''' ''(watching in disbelief)'' A ''Nurse's'' Oath?!
* Then, Lori breaking character to urge Celeste not to leave the show [[note]]Her character has been mute up to this point[[/note]]; she and Montana get into a brief HandWave war:
-->'''Montana:''' Sudden onset speech, the final stages of brain fever! She could go at any moment!\\
'''Lori:''' I could always talk.
* Really, that whole last scene, what with everyone going completely [[OffTheRails off script]] in an attempt to engineer, each one, the outcome s/he desires, and the others [[OutGambitted trying to keep up with all the sudden changes]].

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