!! Runesuck
* "'''''[[NoIndoorVoice PLAYING RUNESCAAAAAAAAAAA]][[TheScream AAAAAAAAAAA]][[SayMyName AAAAAAAAAAAA]][[LargeHam AAAAAAAAAAAAPE??!!!!]]'''''"
** "Dude, what the fuck?!"
* The dandruff trees on [=RuneScape=].
--> '''Rob''': Fuck is with those trees? They got dandruff or something? Those fucking trees need some fucking Head and Shoulders. Even though they're trees, they lack [[{{Pun}} a head or shoulders]].
--> '''Johny''': They're magic.
--> '''Rob''': That's some stupid fucking magic if all it does is give them dandruff.
* Johny using his player to kill a unicorn on the game.
--> '''Rob''': You just mind your own damn business when you fuck the shit up for the hell of it. [[CallASmeerpARabbit That's horse slaughter!]] [[KangarooCourt You'll get life in horse court.]]
--> '''Johny''': Uh, ''[[InsistentTerminology unicorn]]'' court. [[BerserkButton They get pissed off]] when you call them horses.
--> '''Rob''': Like when you call zephyrs [[{{Pluralses}} Pegasuseseses]].
--> '''Johny''': What?
--> '''Rob''': Nothing.
* "Bet I can break a window with it." "Probably." "Bet I can even KILL a man!...[[CueCardPause With it]]."
*
--> '''Rob''': What the fuck? How the hell did you pull a 5000? That attack looked the same as those zero attacks you kept doing.
--> '''Johny''': Yeah, but I put my heart on that click.
*
--> '''Rob''': Hey, what's with the crossbones above your head? Does that mean you're a pirate now?!
--> '''Johny''': No, it means...
--> '''Rob''': Did you level up your pirate stat?
--> '''Johny''': There is no...
--> '''Rob''': Dude, you're like a level 50,000 pirate now, huh?
--> '''Johny''': There ''is'' no pirate stat!...Hey, cool, they just updated it. They added a...pirate stat. Huh, cool, sweet! I can get a peg leg!

!! Don't Wake Robby!
* Johny calling Rob a vampire. "Oh yeah, he's a vampire." [[CutawayGag "Count Robula-a-a-a!"]]
* Rob's first dream. "Running back and forth between the houses! (echo) (''{{Beat}}'') What the fuck? Franchise/{{Godzilla}}? (echo)"
** Cue Godzilla trying to attack Rob and causing a tidal wave.
*
--> '''Johny''': You gotta be kidding me.
--> '''Rob''': I'M NAKED!
* Rob's second dream. "FUCKING WEEEEEEEEEEEE! FUCKING WEEEEEEEEEEEE! FUCKING [=WEEEEEEeeeeeooooo...=]"
* When Rob tries to eat the biscuits and gravy but forgets it.
--> '''Rob''': Wait a minute, they're on the ground. I don't wanna eat this off the ground. One with filth and dog hair all over.
--> (''closes the door'')
--> '''Johny''': Dammit.

!! Dog Daze of Boredom
* Rob saying "hi" to Spike repeatedly at the beginning.
--> '''Rob''': Hi Spike. Hi Spike. Hey Spike! Hi Spike! Hey, Spike!
--> '''Spike''': If Rob walks by and says "hi" one more damn time, I'm gonna, I'm gonna...
--> '''Rob''': Hi Spike!
--> '''Spike''': ...lick my lips and blink.
* "...While stroking my sideburns! FASCINATING!"
* Spike confronting Chew the chihuahua and chasing him away.
* Rob's fake animal noise. "CACTUS!"
* Rob bragging to Johny about a paper mâché hand he made and making puns about it.
* Spike fearing the family's computer printer.
--> '''Spike''': (''to the printer'') Hey, stop it, stop it, it hurts! IT HURTS!
--> '''Dad''': Spike, get in the kitchen!
--> '''Spike''': ''You'' get in the kitchen.
--> '''Dad''': I mean it, dog.
--> '''Spike''': Me too, homie. Let me shove this thing off and it's gonna be so fucking epic. (''looks into the printer'') Now where's its heart?
* This exchange between Rob and Johny:
--> '''Rob''': Johny.
--> '''Johny''': Rob.
--> '''Rob''': Spike's a dog.
--> '''Johny''': Yeah.
--> '''Rob''': Dogs like being pettededed.
--> '''Johny''': [=RuneScape=] likes being playeded.
--> '''Rob''': Playdough.
--> '''Johny''': Play-don't.
--> '''Rob''': Play with yourself.
--> '''Johny''': No.
--> '''Rob''': I WIN! Let's bother Spike!
--> '''Johny''': Kay.
* The ending, in which Spike commits a {{Squick}}y moment offscreen.
--> '''Rob''': (''happy'') [[SayMyName SPIKE!!]]
--> (''becomes shocked'')
--> '''Johny''': Ew.
--> '''Spike''': Do you mind?

!! Pop-a-Cap!
* "Hey John, think slow!"
*
--> '''Dan''': What the hell, [=JewBob=]?
--> '''Rob''': Uh, [[BlatantLies IT WAS SPIKE!]]
--> (''runs off'')
--> '''[[EvenTheDogIsAshamed Spike]]''': ...[[YouFool STOOL PIGEON!]]

!! Half Beard
* When Rob starts shaving his beard, annoyed:
--> '''Rob''': Boy, shaving is...
--> '''Beard''': [[MinorInjuryOverreaction AAAAHHH!!! WHY?! THE PAIN!!!]]
--> '''Rob''': Shut up, beard!
--> '''Beard''': [[ShuttingUpNow Okay.]]
* "Rugged. Smooth. Rugged. Smooth. I'M SO BRILLIANT!"
*
--> '''Johny''': I don't think you're in a mind, period.
--> '''Rob''': Semi-colon.
--> '''Johny''': What?
--> '''Rob''': QUESTION MARK!
* Before Johny starts playing Rob's "half beard theme" on his guitar:
--> '''Johny''': Rob, do me a favor.
--> '''Rob''': What?
--> '''Johny''': Blink.
--> (''Rob blinks'')
--> '''Johny''': (''whispering'') ''Thank you.''
*
--> '''Johny''': (''calling CJ'') What? Dude, I'm playing my guitar. I don't wanna play 24/7. ''You'' do it! NO!
--> (''hangs up'')
--> '''Johny''': I don't care how many peacock feathers you tickle me with, you damn weirdo.
*
--> '''Johny''': Mom, can I get a ride?
--> '''Mom''': I'm playing my gypsy fortune telling cards. Wanna play?
--> '''Johny''': Dad, can I get a ride?
--> '''Dad''': Hm? No, I just got on the computer. I gotta get my solitaire fix.
--> '''Johny''': Danny, can I get a ride?
--> '''Dan''': No, [=JewJohn=].
--> '''Mason''': Da-hee!
--> '''Johny''': [[BlatantLies Spike, can I get a ride?]]
--> '''Spike''': (''grunt'')
--> '''Johny''': AHH!
--> '''Dad''': Just get Rob to give you a ride.
--> '''Johny''': No, his half beard's gonna...EMBARRASS me.
--> '''Rob''': (''out of nowhere, startling Johny'') HEY JOHN!!! (''freezes, smiling for a long time'')
--> (''{{Beat}}'')
--> '''Johny''': (''sigh'') Fine. You're gonna give me a ride, huh? You're not gonna stick around and embarrass me, right? ...You're just gonna stand there?
--> (''Rob runs off'')
--> '''Johny''': Awwww.
* "That was the ''decoy'' Rob!"
* "Hey, you can't do this! I AM ROBERT WINCHESTER! BROTHER TO JOHNY WINCHESTER! HE WHO SITS RIGHT THERE IN THE BLEACHERS! LOOK AT HIM AND KNOW MY ASSOCIATION WITH HIM!"
*
--> '''Mike''': (''upon seeing CJ chasing Johny with peacock feathers'') Oh yeah, that reminds me.
--> (''[[TooDumbToLive pulls out a small pink feather and stares cunningly at Bjorn]]'')
--> '''Bjorn''': For the last time, Mikey, I am not gay, and ''neither are you''! I think.
--> '''Mike''': (''sly giggle'')
--> (''Bjorn backs off'')
* TheStinger, with Rob's new beard style.
--> '''Rob''': Johny, come see!
--> '''Johny''': Oh, god.
--> '''Rob''': Reverse goatee is born!
--> '''Johny''': (''groan'')

!! Not-the-Final Fantasy XII
* "Are we having a party in here?" "YES! PARTY!"
*
--> '''Rob''': It's Final Fantasy, John, not VideoGame/GrandTheftAuto.
--> '''Johny''': Steal that chicobbo!
--> '''Rob''': I CAN'T! And um, [[InsistentTerminology it's pronounced "chocobo"]].
--> '''Johny''': That's stupid.
*
--> '''Rob''': Johny?
--> '''Johny''': Rob.
--> '''Rob''': What are you doing?
--> '''Johny''': You're connected to the internet.
--> '''Rob''': So what?
--> '''Johny''': I'm gonna play [=RuneScape=].
--> '''Rob''': Oh hell no.
--> '''Dan''': Bob, stop it! You're making Mason frown!
--> '''Rob''': What, what? Baby Mason? Frowning?
--> (''Mason looks sad, but changes his expression to concerned'')
--> '''Rob''': Concerned?
--> (''Mason looks happy and giggles'')
--> '''Rob''': Happy? Okay, now you're messing with me.
* "REVOLUTIOOOOOON! Sky pirate!"
*
--> '''Johny''': [=RuneScape=] has a story. Well, pieces of a story, in the mini-quests. Why do I have to do all this shit?
*
--> '''Rob''': (''about Vaan on the game'') [[TheScrappy He's the worst character in the game]], so I didn't use him.
--> '''Johny''': But he's the main character!
--> '''Dan''': Why the hate, Bob, why?!
--> '''Rob''': Dude, look at him for a second.
--> (''shows them Vaan on the TV screen'')
--> '''Dan''': Aah, Jew!
--> '''Rob''': He's Michael Jackson with a stupid haircut. His stomach doesn't even look real.
* Rob's LongList of wolf palette swaps.
--> "Well, let's see, we have red wolf, orange wolf, brown wolf, blue glowing wolf, wolf on fire, wolf with a top hat, Film/TeenWolf, wolf with a funny mustache, wolf that turns into [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZelda Link]], inside out wolf - and that's not even counting wolfmen."
* "HOLY SHIT, STOP THE WORLD! IT'S ONE GIL!"
* "Oh, Vaan, [[TakeThatScrappy everybody hates you]]. The way you should be."

!! Heinous Anus Zone
*
--> '''Johny''': (''about Rob's imaginary Sonic level'') I don't wanna hear this.
--> '''Rob''': Why not, John? It's such a good idea.
--> '''Johny''': It's a terrible idea.
--> '''Rob''': (''chuckles'') I'm gonna write to Sonic Team and tell them to put it in the next game.
--> '''Johny''': I'm sure they have better ideas than that.
* When Creator/MrT comes out of nowhere startling Rob right after Johny says "Fool's gold."
--> '''Mr. T''': GRR! Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you?
--> '''Rob''': Shit, man, I ''told'' you not to do that!
--> '''Mr. T''': Sorry 'bout that.
--> '''Rob''': I hate it when people do that.
* "You never have a good idea." "BLASPHEMY!"

!! tWHYlight
* "If it's not a teenybopper movie with vampires in it for the hell of it...[[DoubleTake IT'S A TEENYBOPPER MOVIE WITH VAMPIRES IN IT FOR THE HELL OF IT!!]]"
* "STOP SQUEALING EVERY TIME A PENIS WALKS ON THE SCREEN!! JESUS!"
*
--> '''Edward Cullen''': I'm dangerous, leave me alone. I'm dangerous, leave me alone. I'm dange-- (''{{Beat}}'') I'm a pretty vampire, shut up!
*
--> '''Rob''': WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS SHIT?!
--> '''Adrian''': I hope this could be better.
--> '''Rob''': I hope this doesn't turn into a musical, but I swear, if HannahMontana makes a guest appearance, [[IllKillYou I'm gonna go on a murderous rampage]]. AND YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRLS ARE GONNA BE FIRST!!
--> '''Fangirls''': WOOOOOOOOOO!
--> '''Rob''': [[{{Angrish}} GRAAAHH!!]]
* "Glitter skin, glitter skin!" "I HATE GLITTER!!"
*
--> '''Rob''': SHOOT ME NOOOOW!!!
--> '''Adrian''': Uh, sorry, I forgot my gun.
--> '''Rob''': Of ''course'' you did!
*
--> '''Fangirl''': Oh my god, I'm gonna go see ''Twilight''! TV said it's gonna be awesome! WOO!
--> '''Rob''': Hey, let me save you both the trouble - EVERYONE DIES, THAT'S THE SURPRISE ENDING!!
--> (''walks away'')
--> '''Fangirl''': (''InelegantBlubbering'') I only bought a ticket...

!! Don't Sleep, Robby!
* Johny trying to connect to the internet. "I said you'll never let me down!...STOP LETTING ME DOWN!"
* "Gotta get on a good schedule, John. On a good schedule I gotta get. Good schedule I gotta get on a." "You're scaring me, Rob." "Fear is the devil's matchmaker, John."
*
--> '''Max''': Canadian, eh? Johny? Eh, eh? You're trying to mock my country, John? We got botch hands, that means it isn't better!
--> '''Johny''': I said "uh". ''Uh''! Like the bad beat machine I am.
--> '''Max''': Beat machine? Pff. You never played ''[[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution DDR]]''.
* When Johny happily snuggles himself on Rob's bed, pretending to sleep.
--> '''Johny''': But Rob, sleeping is good! Good sleep!
--> (''jumps onto Rob's bed and cuddles himself'')
--> '''Johny''': Ah, this bed is so comfy! Oh yeah, it's such a comfy bed!
--> '''Max''': You're enjoying yourself there, Johny?
--> '''Johny''': Oh yeah, the pillow, the pillow! Feels so good to be so sleep!
* "I'll be ''back''!" "[[Film/BackToTheFuture To the future]]." (''{{Beat}}'') "God dammit."
* "All the effort wasted? DAMMIT! AAH! (''[[OffscreenCrash crash]]'') Dammit, who put my stereo here?!"
*
--> '''Max''': Ooh, sounds important, should I be writing this down?
--> '''Rob''': ''You haven't been??''
* This exchange:
--> '''Johny''': You were sleeping!
--> '''Rob''': Nah, I was zoning out again.
--> '''Johny''': Sleeping!
--> '''Rob''': Zoning!
--> '''Max''': Meditating!
--> '''Rob''': Mediating!
--> '''Max''': Meteor!
--> '''Johny''': Sleeping, I said!
* "[[UnstoppableRage EXCITE BIKE, BITCH!! WHAT?]] ''[[UnstoppableRage WHAT?!]]'' '''''[[UnstoppableRage WHAT?!! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!]]'''''"
** This also doubles as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.
* After Rob wakes up from his dream:
--> '''Rob''': You know what makes for a terrible pillow? The laptop keyboard. Especially one this fucking hot.
* When Rob realizes he accidentally stepped in the burrito. "Ah, dammit, I forgot my feet were dirty from the burrito! Ah, gross, it's all over the carpet!"
*
--> '''Johny''': Haha! I finally found the perfect way to make Rob go to sleep! More perfect - wait a minute! I said this already! That exact line! This has all happened before, I swear it! Dammit, screw this, this déjà vu shit's freaking me out! Time for me to go crawl on the fetal position on my bed! [[GenreSavvy Why am I in this closet when I plot, anyways?]]
* When Johny sees Rob finally going to sleep at the end. "FINALLY!" (Whap!) "Dammit!"