* The tampon scene.
** And afterward when Duke ''does'' use them for a nosebleed, and decides they actually work well for that role.
* Everything about [[HamAndCheese Principal Gold]].
** When he welcomes her to the school.
-->'''Gold''': I'd like to say welcome. (''singing'') Welcome to, Illyria, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome... to Illyria! (''speaking again'') I just wanted to say 'welcome'!
** When Viola and Olivia meet [[CrashIntoHello by walking into each other]].
-->'''Gold''': Getting to know the opposite sex, are we? Male-female dynamics, all that. Sexual tension! It's all part of the high school experience. Continue, continue, please. But keep it cleaned up. Abstinence is key, abstinence is the best way to not is to not... (''leaves'')
** When Malcolm and Principal Gold overhear Viola:
--> '''Viola''': Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to run away.
--> '''Principal Gold''': Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
--> '''Malcolm''': No, sir, I...
--> '''Principal Gold''': Not that easy. Not that easy...
* After Sebastian pulls down his soccer shorts in front of everyone to prove he's a boy:
--> '''Eunice''': Soccer is the world's favorite sport.
** Viola likewise pulls up her shirt at the end of the move to prove she's a girl. ''A heavenly light shines from them to the boys' faces''.
** "Is it just me, or is there more nudity in this game?"
* Viola's GroinAttack and her delayed reaction.
--> '''Viola''': Uh... Oh! Oh for the love of God! It buuurns!
* "Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours." It's somehow funnier because [[TheStoic Duke]] isn't even trying to hide his laughter.