* After learning that Dewey's class has gone to the Battle of the Bands: ''in a congratulatory voice'' "I've just been informed that all of your children are missing!"
* Dewey's '''very''' unfortunate word choice:
-->'''Dewey''': I have been touched by your kids, and I'm pretty sure I've touched them. (Horrified, disgusted looks on the parents faces. Cut to Dewey running out of the class in a hurry.)
* "I read about groupies. They're [[PrecisionFStrike sluts]], they sleep with the band!"
* The kids feigning the terminal illness "Stick-it-to-da-man-ni-osis". That is all.
* "You are a fat loser and you have body odour!"
* Billy continuing to snipe at Dewey even after he declared the trash-talking session over.
-->'''Billy:''' You're tacky and I hate you.
-->'''Dewey:''' All right, you see me after class!
* "Math is a wonderful thing, Math is a really cool thing. So get off your ath, let's do some math! Math, math, math, math, maaath!"
* Spider, the replacement guitarist in Dewey's old band, trying to pick up Ms. Mullins.