* ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}:''
--> '''Lady Macbeth:''' ''(looks at camera)'' So are we, like, in a commercial now?
--> '''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Mmm, yeah, kind of. You see, ''I'' have options too. I can ''not'' make money, '''or I can make money'''! Hey, these scarves don't pay for themselves.
** Also:
-->'''Lady Macbeth:''' My plan ''will'' work! Macbeth just needs to screw his courage to his sticking place!
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' No. [[DeadpanSnarker He needs to screw his courage to]] ''[[DeadpanSnarker your]]'' [[DeadpanSnarker sticking place.]]
-->'''Lady Macbeth:''' ''(gasps)''
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Yeah. I said it. Because, sister, you need a hobby or [[YouNeedToGetLaid an orgasm]], ''stat''.

* ''RomeoAndJuliet:''
--> '''Sassy Gay Friend:''' "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?". Translation? "Desperate. Desperate. I am really desperate."
** This Troper totally cracked up at this part:
--> '''Sassy Gay Friend:''' You took a roofie from a priest. ({{Beat}}) Look at your life, look at your choices.
** His reaction to Juliet telling him she slept with Romeo.
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' ...you big slut, ''good for you!''

* ''Cyrano de Bergerac'':
-->''Meet Cyrano de Bergerac. He feels that his large nose makes him unlovable and has given up on wooing his true love Roxanne, and helps his friend Christian woo her instead. This fate could've been avoided, if he'd had a Sassy Gay Friend...''
-->'''Cyrano:''' ''(mutters to Christian)'' My love grows.
-->'''Christian:''' ''(shouts up at Roxanne)'' My love grows!
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' ''(appears out of nowhere)'' What, ''what'', WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-->'''Christian:''' What, ''what'', WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-->'''Cyrano:''' No!
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' ''Yes!'' You're very talented. ''(turns to Cyrano)'' Back to you.
** "Roxanne has a stripper's name! Who is ''she'' to judge?"

* ''Literature/GreatExpectations'':
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Why would you want to remember the worst moment of your life? ''I'' don't set ''my'' clocks to remind myself of the terrible night I spent with [[Literature/AChristmasCarol Jacob Marley]]!
-->'''Ms. Havisham:''' Ewww!
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' "Ew" is right. Ugh. A lot of chains, totally weird. And he's a ''ghost''... which is why I want to forget about it!

* ''Film/BlackSwan'':
-->'''Nina:''' Is this heaven?
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' No. It's the hospital. In heaven, Annette Bening wins the Oscar for ''TheKidsAreAllRight''! What, WHAT, ''what were you doing''?!
** And also:
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Buy some nail clippers!
-->'''Nina:''' I can't!
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' ''THEY ARE NINETY-NINE CENTS AT CVS!!''

* ''The Giving Tree'':
-->'''Giving Tree:''' He needed my branches to make a house.
-->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Yeah, and the guy from ''Silence of the Lambs'' needed fat girl skin to make a flesh suit. Doesn't mean we give it to him!