[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:In General]]
* "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!" and its CallBack: "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!" "''Nobody'' understands the words that are coming out of your mouth!"
* [[HilariousOuttakes The bloopers]] from all three movies... seriously, you will bust a gut.
** When Carter's doing the phone call with Sang in the first film, and his exasperated line after hearing the ransom amount. Multiple takes, and he can't get "Chelsea Clinton" out properly, until ''finally'' he gets it... And the actor playing FBI agent behind him [[{{Corpsing}} cracks up]].
** Special mention: "Jackie ''always'' OK!"
** [[IAmNotLeonardNimoy Chris accidentally calling Jackie by his real name instead of his character's name]]. ''Multiple'' times. The second film's outtakes even show a frustrated Creator/DonCheadle reminding Chris "His name is Lee, goddammit!"
--->'''Chris:''' Jackie, kick it!
--->'''Jackie:''' OK, Chris Tucker! ''(kicks a door down)''
--->''(take 2)''
--->'''Chris:''' Jackie, kick it!
--->'''Jackie:''' Jackie again?! ''(kicks)''
** "Filter fish"
*** GEFILTE FISH!
*** Similarly, in the third movie, Chris cannot say "El Pollo Loco" correctly... but Jackie gets it right the first time.
** In the first movie, Jackie flubs one of his lines in Chinese, but what really makes it hilarious is, with the take already ruined, Chris then walks into the room in a silly way and, imitating the tempo of Chinese speech, goes "What is this shit about your daughter?"
** The CampGay going off on a kinky tangent.
** Chris gets a call in the middle of a scene because he forgot to turn off his cell phone.
--> '''Chris:''' I'm staring Creator/JackieChan dead in his eye!... No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan!
** Gets funnier when he finally acquiesces to let the caller speak to Jackie, at which point the film crew also crack up.
--> '''Jackie:''' You're sorry? You're wasting all our film!
** Chris struggles to say a simple Chinese phrase (xièxie nĭ, "thank you", for the record), and Jackie rubs it in: "See, how difficult is that? ''My'' English? He even cannot say three words, Chinese!"
** "That's right, Lee. For the last 3 years, I've studied the ancient teaching of [[FreudianSlip booty]]... ''(cracks up)'' " [[labelnote:Note]]He meant to say "Buddha"[[/labelnote]]
** In one outtake from the third film, Jackie runs in, except he's carrying a little kid. He tells the crew, "The mom's gone."
** "Damn... he ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3!"
*** The last aired blooper, and thus scene, of the series: "I'm not your brother? All the stuff we been through? ''([[{{Beat}} Chris clearly forgetting the next line]])'' [[TitleDrop Rush Hour 1, Rush Hour 2?]]"
** Chris gets another one.
--->'''Chris:''' I'm sick of you, Kenji! You've been trying to kill us [[BreakingTheFourthWall ever since the start of this damn movie]]!
** "SHOW YOUR ASS!" "Show your ''ass''?! Y'all some gay-ass Cops!"
** Brett Ratner feeding Jackie increasingly dirty commentary about pornography.
--->'''Jackie:''' I like the one with the horses. ''({{beat}})'' What's that mean? Why you teach me? Are you teaching me a bad word?
--->''(next take)''
--->'''Chris:''' What's wrong with you?
--->'''Jackie:''' I don't know, Brett Ratner teach me that!
** The third movie gets one of [[TheComicallySerious a stone-faced Jackie pointing a gun at the camera and yelling]] [[{{Malaproper}} "CHEESE!"]] Cue a crew member bursting out laughing off-screen.
--->'''Crew member:''' "Freeze."
--->'''Jackie:''' What? Oh, "freeze!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:First Film]]
* Carter doing his victory dance after blowing up Clive's C4-equipped car with [[Music/MichaelJackson Another Part of Me]] in the background had everyone in knots and doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.
** Carter being confronted over the C-4:
--->'''Captain Diel:''' Two officers were shot, one man lost a pinkie!
--->'''Carter:''' But didn't nobody die!
--->'''Captain Diel:''' You destroyed half a city block!
--->'''Carter:''' That block was already messed up.
--->'''Captain Diel:''' And you lost a lot of evidence!
--->'''Carter:''' We still got a little bit left.
* The first day we see Soo Yung going to school in America (granted, two months after she and her father moved to L.A.), she's quite exuberantly singing Music/MariahCarey's "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HZ_jqXWptM Fantasy]]" in the back of the car. The looks on the faces of her bodyguards in the front seats are just ''hilarious.''
* Lee pretends he can't speak English: When Carter asks him, Lee sports a dorky grin.
--> '''Carter''': Please tell me you speak English. ''I'm'' Detective Carter, Do you speaka any English? DO ''YOU'' UNDERSTAND THE ''WORDS'' THAT ARE COMIN' OUTTA MY ''MOUTH''?!
* When Carter calls his captain to complain about the "bullshit" assignment, it's revealed that a good chunk of the force is in the same room, listening over the speaker and snickering:
--> '''Carter''': Captain, I don't think this is funny. No, I'm serious, Captain. Tell the FBI you made a mistake.
-->'''Captain Diel''': I can't do that. I'm sure that you and Mr. Lee will have a nice time together.
-->'''Carter:''' I'm warning you, you better call them or I drop his ass at Panda Express.
-->'''Captain Diel:''' You drop this case, Carter, you're suspended for ''two months'' without pay.
-->'''Carter:''' Aight, you can forget about being mayor then.
-->'''Johnson:''' Congratulations, Carter. Looks like you finally got yourself a partner. ''(hangs up; everyone in Diel's office bursts out laughing)''
* After Carter finds out Lee can speak English, Carter spins into his car, and Lee imitates the move, only fancier. Carter responds: "I'm gonna kick yo ass. Don't nobody do that but me. You want me to kick your ass, don't you?"
* The scene with Carter's car radio:
-->'''Lee:''' ''(Surfin' USA plays)'' Ah! Beach Boys!
-->({{beat}})
-->'''Carter:''' Oh, hell no! You didn't just touch my goddamn radio!
-->'''Lee:''' Music/TheBeachBoys are great American music.
-->'''Carter:''' The Beach Boys gonna get you a great ''ass'' whuppin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China, but you can get your ass killed out here, man! Let me show you real music.
-->''[He changes the song to Jay-Z's "Can I Get A..."]''
-->'''Carter:''' Yeah, that's real music. You hear that?
-->''[He starts moving his head like a snake, while Lee gives him a funny look]''
-->'''Carter:''' Now can you do that to the Beach Boys? Can you do that to the Beach Boys? Hell no!
* The chat between Carter and the "ciga-weed" man in the bar, with Carter taking his cigarette and the poor guy stuck his hand out until moments after Lee beats the crap out of everyone in the pool area, Lee himself takes the man's last cigarette and says "That's bad for you!"
** Carter faking his cousin Luke that he doesn't know him.
** Lee drops an N-bomb in imitation of Carter's style. Problem is, Carter (a black man) [[NWordPrivileges said it to some nearby "homies"]]. Lee (not a black man) [[InnocentBigot said it to a]] ''[[InnocentBigot black bartender]]''. HilarityEnsues.
* When Carter and Lee visit Clive in prison, the guard tells the white Clive, "Your two ''brothers'' are here to see you."
** Later in the scene:
--->'''Clive:''' I don't know anything about that, so you can kiss my fat ass.
--->'''Carter:''' Clive, it'd take me all day to kiss your fat ass, man.
* '''WAR!'''
-->'''Carter''': Man, you don't know nothing about no ''War''.
-->'''Lee''': Everybody knows ''War''. (singing) Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Good God, you ''all!''
-->'''Carter:''' It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
-->'''Lee:''' Yaw.
-->'''Carter:''' Y'all!
-->'''Lee:''' ''Yaw!''
-->'''Carter:''' Man, you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
-->'''Lee:''' Yoll.
* Carter arguing with the Chinese food vendor.
-->'''Carter:''' Damn, Chin, this some greasy shit. You ain't got no better food, like some chicken wings, some baby back ribs, some fries or something?
-->'''Chin:''' Chinese food, no soul food here!
-->'''Carter:''' I didn't say nothin' 'bout no soul food, I said you got some better food. I don't want that greasy shit. How you gonna sell a big box of grease?
-->''(Chin complains in Chinese)''
-->'''Carter:''' ''(turns)'' I'm chinny-a-what?
-->'''Lee:''' ''(grabs Carter)'' Come on!
-->'''Chin:''' I'm no punk bitch!
-->'''Carter:''' I ain't no punk bitch, neither!
-->'''Chin:''' ''I'm'' no punk bitch!
-->'''Carter:''' I'm about to knock that hat off your head, Chin.
** What's funny about the last parts of that exchange is that the vendor brought up the "punk bitch" line for nothing because he misheard and assumed Carter called him the supposed insult.
* Carter gives Lee his badge so that he can pose as LAPD if anything goes wrong. Lee takes a look at the bug-eyed, enormously grinning photo of Chris Tucker and isn't so sure:
-->'''Lee''': This won't work. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I am not 6'1".]]
* Carter pretending to be Juntao's lawyer at the Chinese restaurant:
--> '''Carter''': I'm here for a meeting with Mr. Juntao.
-->'''Waitress''': I'm sorry, I don't know Mr. Juntao.
-->'''Carter''': Maybe you don't understand. I'm Mr. Juntao's lawyer. Legal adviser. He got into some shit again. I'm a very busy man. I ain't got time to be coming down here. My wife wants me to come home, my baby's shitting all over the house. Would you please get Mr. Juntao?
-->'''Waitress:''' But I have already told you, I don't know-
-->'''Carter:''' You think I came here for nothing? You gonna give me gas money? You got $5 on you? Would you please go tell Mr. Juntao to get his ass here? ''(waitress has a baffled look)'' Thank you.
** While Carter's waiting, he stops another waitress carrying food and sniffs it, but is repulsed and gives a "get that away from me" hand gesture.
* Carter trying to blend in with Juntao's gang:
** "OK, you gonna kill me? Okay, put the gun down, fight me like a man. That's right, fight me like a man. ''Shit!'' ''Anybody'' can shoot somebody. That's what I'm talking about. Back, back. Give me some room. You don't know who you messing with. I'm gonna knock that yellow-- ''(a foot comes from out of frame and smacks Carter in the face)'' ...Which one of y'all kicked me?"
** Also him trying to pass as Juntao's cousin and explaining that he's "blackinese" and the goons aren't fooled one bit (because Juntao is actually a white Brit).
* Thomas Griffin, [[DramaticIrony whom the audience already know to be the villain behind Soo Yung's kidnapping]], gives a [[SarcasmMode helpful]] piece of advice to Consul Han and the FBI: Pay the money.
* Carter and Soo Yung calling out Juntao is both funny and awesome.
-->'''Carter:''' Push the goddamn button!
-->'''Soo Yung:''' Push the ''goddamn'' button!
-->({{Beat}})
-->'''Carter:''' You heard what she said.
* Lee does his very best to save a PricelessMingVase in the middle of a fight with two mooks... then [[ShootTheShaggyDog gunfire shatters it moments after he's won]].
--> '''Lee''': '''SHIT!'''
* Carter's unabashed flirting with Johnson. Particularly when he apologizes for [[NoodleIncident spreading rumors that the two slept together on Christmas]] and later trying to initiate phone sex with her right after practically begging her to help rescue Soo Yung back.
* Carter's response to Juntao [[DisneyVillainDeath falling to his death]] and crashing into a nearby water fountain.
-->'''Carter:''' Woooooo! You know he ''dead!''
* After Carter saves Lee from a falling death, causing Lee to slide onto him:
--> '''Lee:''' Thank you, thank you! ''(kisses Carter on the cheek)''
-->'''Carter:''' ''(pushes Lee off him)'' Man, what the hell are you doing?!
-->'''Lee:''' I was just being... polite.
-->'''Carter:''' Well next time, be polite to my ''nuts''!
* Carter is stoked about going to Hong Kong for two weeks, until Lee informs him that the flight is ''fifteen hours'' (TruthInTelevision, by the way: they're going from [=LAX=] to Hong Kong International Airport, which the average flight time is about fifteen hours). Carter really loses it when Lee starts singing "War" while listening to his headphones.
-->'''Carter''': Aw ''hell'' no! Stewardess! Stewardess, get me another seat!
-->'''Lee:''' ''(singing)'' Listen to me, y'aaaaaaaalll!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Second Film]]
* While driving in Hong Kong, Carter tries to invite some Chinese girls to party with him and Lee, but his [[MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels butchery of the language]] makes them drive off laughing at him.
-->'''Carter:''' All I did was invite them to have a drink.
-->'''Lee:''' You invited them to "get naked and sacrifice a small goat".
-->''(beat)''
-->'''Carter:''' Which word was "goat"?
** And that's not the only time...
--->'''Carter:''' What did I just say?
--->'''Lee:''' You just asked everybody to pick up their samurai swords and shave your butt!
* This exchange at the karaoke party:
-->'''Lee:''' In Hong Kong, I am Music/MichaelJackson! You are [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Toto]]!
-->'''Carter:''' You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate last night for dinner!
** Before that, Carter was singing "[[Music/MichaelJackson Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough]]" and did it in a hilariously impressionable manner that it attracted a good number of girls to the dance floor with him. Which is amusingly ironic when Lee told him about the later aforementioned line.
** And way before that, a generic Chinese man on the stage tried singing to the same song, but his hilariously awful and tuneless performance outrages Carter, leading to this exchange:
-->'''Carter:''' What in the world is going on in here? Am I the only one listening to this?! The man's destroying a classic!
* When the triads and Lee climb up the scaffolding, Carter trails behind:
-->'''Carter:''' Lee! I'm comin'!
-->''[Carter climbs all of 3 feet when a mook falls right in front of him]''
-->'''Carter:''' [''beat''] Oh hell no. [''climbs down''] Lee! I'm taking the stairs!
* When Lee and Carter are hanging on a bamboo in LiteralCliffhanger-like situation:
-->'''Lee:''' [[TemptingFate Don't worry, Chinese bamboo... is very strong]]!
-->''(cue the bamboo begins to tear apart)''
-->'''Carter:''' Ahhhhh! You sure man!?
-->'''Lee:''' ''(hopelessly)'' [[BlatantLies I'm sure]]!
-->''(and the bamboo tears apart in two and the duo falls)''
-->'''Carter:''' ''(while holding on Lee's legs for dear life)'' I can't believe I flew 10,000 miles for this '''shit!'''
** The aforementioned line was used again but ''Lee'' says it this time after him and Carter escapes from Hu-Li carrying a ''ticking bomb.''
* At the massage parlor, Heaven on Earth, Carter's reaction to the beautiful masseuses is priceless. Even Lee is telling Carter to hurry up while he's picking a good portion of them.
-->'''Carter:''' ''(to Lee)'' Man, what's wrong with you? You don't jump in front of a black man in a buffet line, calm down!
-->'''Hostess''': ''(to Carter)'' Your friend has big appetite!
** When Carter demands Ricky Tan's attention, he grabs his laptop and repeatedly stomps on it. After his goons surround Carter, [[Main/MoodWhiplash he IMMEDIATELY changes his temper]]:
-->'''Carter:''' Look little man, you coming with-(''Cue Ricky Tan's goons '''IMMEDIATELY''' surrounding Carter and Lee'') Oh, my Lord. ''I'' would like to pay you for that laptop. I think I should do that.\\
'''Ricky:''' No problem.\\
'''Carter:''' I seen it on the Internet, with a DVD player. That's an old model.
** During the parlor fight, Carter yanks off the towel of a gangster while we're treated with his behind showing, and takes a quick glance down below:
-->'''Carter:''' [[TeenyWeenie No wonder you mad]]! ''(and then he proceeds by [[GroinAttack slapping the gangster's crotch]] with a [[ClothFu towel]])''
** What happens ''after'' the fight: Lee and Carter are thrown out of a car on a busy freeway... [[NakedPeopleAreFunny butt]][[NakedPeopleTrappedOutside naked]].
* Carter and [[OneSceneWonder the overeager butcher]] with the background people's confused expressions.
--> '''Carter''': Put the blade down and let the bird go, lady, ''right now!''
* When Carter meets Isabella in the Red Dragon yacht, he tries to flirt with her as acting like the captain of his hilariously made-up yacht name: ''The S.S. Minnow Johnson.''
--> '''Carter:''' You must know my good friend [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign Pedro Morales Magonzales Morotto Molasso Mondustos.]]
** After some bad flirting:
--> '''Isabella''': ...Funny, the name of the side says "Red Dragon". You see, this is my friend's boat, and this is his party.\\
'''Carter''': [[BadLiar I must've got on the wrong boat!]] All these boats look alike.
* Carter's conversation to Lee about "following the rich white man" while flying to Los Angeles.
** Even funnier, when Carter's scream about how white people react to gunfights, Lee tells Carter he sounds like that every time.
* Lee and Carter spies on Isabella from the building across the street. Lee, in particular, is checking her out the most while she's getting undressed and Carter notices she has a tattoo that looks like [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Snoopy]]. Lee immediately comments: "I ''love'' Snoopy." and grabs the binoculars.
-->'''Lee:''' Ahhhhhhhh, slow down baby!
** After Lee and Carter [[OhCrap mistakes the package]] Hu-Li gives Isabella for a bomb, they immediately run to her apartment to grab it and she's NOT amused.
-->'''Carter:''' I said ''she'' was the bomb!
-->'''Lee:''' ''(confused)'' She was the ''bomb''?
* While Isabella was talking to Lee and Carter about the fake cash situation, they both get distracted by her opening her robe midway with her cleavage showing.
-->'''Isabella:''' Say Carter, this is your city right?
-->'''Carter:''' (distracted) Yeah this is my titty, I mean my city.
* Lee and Carter are bickering over Isabella. Carter refers to Lee as 'third world ugly".
--> '''Lee''': I'm not third world ugly, women like me. They think I'm cute like Snoopy.\\
'''Carter''': Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you!
* Kenny joking with Lee about calling Carter "7-11" because he never closes his mouth.
** The whole interaction with Kenny is just full of fun moments, starting with Carter barging in with his MotorMouth.
--->'''Carter:''' [''Busts in to the gambling room''] Oh now I know I don't see what I know I see what I'm thinking!
** When Kenny calls out Carter for getting his ass kicked in Hong Kong, and embarrassing him in front of his friends.
--->'''Carter:''' Kenny, you embarrass yourself. You're a ''black man'' with a ''Chinese restaurant'' '''''on Crenshaw!'''''
** When the conversations comes to blows and Carter threatens to shoot Kenny.
--->'''Carter:''' Don't make me shoot ya, Kenny!\\
'''Kenny:''' [''In fighting stance''] Come on!\\
'''Carter:''' I'll shoot you, and say you fell in the kitchen!
* "I'll... ''bitch''-slap you back to Africa!"[[note]]A call back to an earlier line where Carter says to Lee: "I'll bitch-slap you back to Bangkok!"[[/note]]
** Lee manages to get free of the ropes and starts biting Carter's off.
--->'''Carter:''' Use them tiger teeth! Bite it like a little monkey!
* After Hu-Li tells her mook she'll bury Isabella next to Lee and Carter after she's done, Isabella calls Hu-Li out and after she gives her an apple while holding a small knife and ''throws'' it right to the apple. She gives her an disappointed look.
-->'''Hu-Li:''' Some apple?
-->'''Isabella:''' I'd put that knife away, ''bitch'', before you have an accident.
* The CampGay employee in "Gianni Versace", (played by [[Series/{{Entourage}} Jeremy Piven]]), who [[MistakenForGay mistakes]] Lee and Carter for a couple. He's also calls Carter "Lil' Kim" when he tries to check his waist.
-->'''Lee:''' I think he likes you.
-->'''Carter:''' I'm not shopping with you no more.
* Carter's distraction in the casino, particularly the part where he winds up spinning in place with faux-outrage as he berates the employees.
* Lee's infiltration into the count room starts off pretty cool, with him hiding on top of a cash crate as it's moved into the restricted area, then he seamlessly gets off by holding himself in between the walls of a narrow hallway... Only to find his face inches from a security camera.
* This scene after Carter saves Lee from the pinball-sized but ''powerful'' bomb in his mouth:
-->'''Carter:''' Why the ''hell'' you didn't tell me there was a bomb in your mouth?!
-->'''Lee:''' I did!
-->'''Carter:''' No, you didn't!
-->'''Lee:''' I said ''Mmmmm!''
-->'''Carter:''' What the hell is ''Mmmmmmm?!''
-->'''Lee:''' Mmmmm, ''boom!''
* Carter prepares to fight Hu-Li so that Lee can go after Ricky Tan. However, Carter can't help being mesmerized by Hu-Li's good looks and flirting with her:
-->'''Carter:''' I'm gonna pretend you're a man... A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies.
** After Carter finally knocks Hu-Li out:
-->'''Carter:''' We could have been a couple, we could have something special... but you are one crazy-ass ''bitch!''
* Ricky Tan's BondOneLiner when he kills off his co-conspirator is darkly hilarious:
-->'''Tan:''' I enjoyed that little story you told about the Dragon and the treasure [...] Do you know the moral of that story, Mr. Reign?
-->'''Reign:''' {{Greed}} will imprison us all.
-->'''Tan:''' [stabs Reign] I ''hate'' that fortune cookie shit.
* After Lee ultimately kills Ricky Tan by kicking him through Steven Reign's penthouse window and falls ''all the way down'' to a cab, Lee says to Carter it was an accident. Carter reassures Lee, telling him that they can say the man tried to catch a cab.
* Lee's reaction after Isabella kisses him good-bye in the airport.
* The HilariousOuttakes, naturally, are a ripe source of silly moments.
-->[''Ricky Tan falls to his death'']
-->'''Carter:''' Damn!... He ain't gonna be in ''Rush Hour 3''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Third Film]]
* The beginning of the film opens with Carter directing traffic all to the music of Music/{{Prince}}... while doing an almost perfect recreation of the late Music/MichaelJackson's dance moves.
* After an intense chase sequence with Lee and his brother, Kenji, Carter introduces his and Lee's double date for the evening, and informs Lee: "Fat one's yours."
* Carter's reaction to seeing Soo Yung (having last encountered her as a preteen) as [[SheIsAllGrownUp a young woman]].
* The fight with the tall Chinese guy, including the part where Carter hits himself with nun-chucks.
** [[WhosOnFirst "He's Mi, and I'm Yu."]]
*** Carter finally puts a stop to it:
---->'''Carter:''' And I'm about to whoop your old ass, man, because I'm sick of playing games! Yu? Mi? Everybody's asses around here, ''him''! I'mma kick his ass, I'm sick of this!
** Carter's words to Yu before he leaves: "I don't know what you're feeding him [the giant], but he's TOO DAMN BIG!"
* When the assassins are thwarted at the hospital, Carter tries interrogating one of them, only to discover he only speaks French.
-->'''Carter:''' What the hell is that?\\
'''Lee:''' I think he's speaking French.\\
'''Carter:''' The hell kind of Chinaman speaks French?!\\
'''Assassin:''' [''Continues ranting in French'']\\
'''Carter:''' [''Smacks him''] Stop that! You're Asian! Stop humiliating yourself!
** The scene where they have to get a nun to translate for him, who tries to [[TactfulTranslation soften]] the ClusterFBomb the goon is leveling at them. And eventually during the TWordEuphemism session, Lee (who previously convince Carter not to use any swear words in front of the nun) loses patience when the goon insulted him and [[HypocriticalHumor hypocritically]] says [[PrecisionFStrike "Just call him an asshole!"]] to the nun.
-->'''Lee:''' Sister Agnes, please ask who send him.
-->''(Sister Agnes and the Triad assassin speak French to each other)''
-->'''Sister Agnes:''' He said you're both making a big mistake, that one day you will beg for mercy. He also said...
-->''{{beat}}''
-->'''Lee:''' What? Please, Sister, we have to know.
-->'''Carter:''' There's lives at stake.
-->'''Sister Agnes:''' Well, he used the N-word.
-->'''Carter:''' What? The N-word? You tell this little mother...
-->'''Lee:''' Carter! ''(whispering)'' She's a nun.
-->'''Carter:''' Sister, you tell this piece of S-word, that I will personally F-word him up.
-->''(Sister Agnes and Triad assassin speak French)''
-->'''Carter:''' Did he say negro?
-->'''Sister Agnes:''' He used the N-word again, but this time he mentioned [[YourMom your grandmother]].
-->'''Carter:''' Well, you tell him that his mama's an H!
-->'''Lee:''' ''(whispering)'' Carter, I believe "whore" is spelled with a W.
-->'''Carter''': Right W, and his sister's a W, and his grand-mama is a two-bit W who makes double cause she got no T! You tell him I said ''that!''
-->''(Sister Agnes and Triad assassin speak French)''
-->'''Carter:''' Did he say it again?
-->'''Sister Agnes:''' No, this time he called this gentleman [Lee] a word that means cat and another word that rhymes with maggot. (in other words, a "pussy faggot")
-->'''Lee:''' What?! Well, you can tell him he's a A.W.!
-->'''Carter:''' ''(whispering)'' Lee, "hole" is spelled with an H.
-->'''Sister Agnes:''' We have a dictionary upstairs.
-->'''Lee:''' [[HypocriticalHumor Just call him an asshole]]!
** Also the fact that Carter and Lee need the nun to be a translator to find out who sent the goon, but the goon only keeps insulting the duo, and the nun has no choice but to translate the insult anyway.
** For some dark humor, there is when Carter lose his patience and attempt to kill the goon out of anger. But the gun which Lee gave him has no bullet. Carter's response? [[OffingTheMouth "I'm trying to kill somebody, man! Damn!"]]
*** [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation One wonders if Carter]] '''[[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation was]]''' [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation trying to kill him or just trying to scare the guy.]]
*** Also, once the interrogation is over, Carter says to the nun "Pleasure working with you, Sister". Her response? "[[NotSoAboveItAll Any time, brother!]]" and high-five him.
* On the airplane:
-->'''Carter:''' Did you know the average Frenchwoman is naked 34 percent of the time?
** In the same scene, Carter thinks Lee is too wound up and "constipated" from too much rice in his diet, so he asks the flight attendant for some [[CallBack Gefilte Fish]] and some Ex-Lax.
* When Carter overhears the intense fight scene between Lee and Dragon Lady, and assumes they're having wild sex.
-->'''Carter:''' Come on, Crouching Tiger, don't hide that Dragon!
** Then, when he opens the door and sees the Dragon Lady crawling across the floor to retrieve her knives:
--->'''Carter:''' ''(to the Dragon Lady)'' You are a ''super'' freak!
* George, the cab driver that is at first disgusted with Carter and Lee (and Americans in general), but after getting roped into a car chase, can't get enough of the "super spy" lifestyle. There's a great moment during the chase scene when he successfully rids their car of a mook, and he gives a smug grin of accomplishment.
** Carter forcing George (at gunpoint!) to sing the Star Spangled Banner after he trashes Creator/HalleBerry.
* After a car chase:
-->'''Carter:''' Lee, I'm alive! My whole life flashed in front of me. In three years I'll be married to a Chinese woman. We had three kids, look just like you, only a little darker.
* Carter and Lee smelling like shit on the elevator, and offending a woman sharing the ride with them. Yeah, it's an old joke, but what gives it an added twist is how Carter complains that the woman's dog peed on his foot.
-->'''Carter''': Oh, hell no! Lady!\\
'''Lady''' (smugly): ''Oui''?\\
'''Carter''': This damn dog just pissed on me!\\
'''Lee''': Good girl.
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqhG6T2mVfQ An alternate version of the scene]] has the woman goes on a long and fast French tirade. [[labelnote:Note]]Excuse me, I'm French, so I speak French. So if you want me to understand, make the effort to speak French. I'm French, my dog is French, and he has the right to piss. He has the right, he's doing a little French piss. We're in a good hotel, mister. So excuse me, but if you want me to understand, speak French. Got it? [[/labelnote]]
* Lee is despondent over his brother Kenji, so Carter tells him a story:
-->'''Carter:''' I understand, man. I got a brother. My little brother Perry. We used to be best friends. Now we don't even speak. He think I tipped off the cops about his chicken fights in his garage. Can you believe that? My own brother think I'm a snitch. Just 'cause my chicken lost in the semifinals. I didn't even really care.
-->'''Lee:''' Carter.
-->'''Carter:''' Fight was fixed, man. My bird was fightin' a chicken that didn't make his weight. And he still went the distance. He had a lotta heart. And he was delicious.
* Carter and Lee sing "The Closer I Get to You" by Roberta Flack.
* This, when they spot Genevieve undressing:
--> '''Lee:''' Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
-->'''Carter:''' ''(shocked)'' Lee!
-->'''Lee:''' Only $9.95.
** The outtakes portrays multiple takes of this scene, with Jackie Chan making up all sorts of variants.
* Genevieve is putting on something more comfortable, so Carter calls room service: "Send up a bottle of honey and some Red Bull."
** When Carter is in bed with Genevieve:
--->'''Genevieve:''' I have never been with an American man before.
--->'''Carter:''' Neither have ''I''!
--->'''Genevieve:''' I'm a bad girl.
--->'''Carter:''' Halle-LUJAH!
** And Carter [[WaxingLyrical says the lyrics]] to "Lady Marmalade" during the same scene.
--->'''Carter:''' Voulez-vous coucher avec moi...
* Carter, Lee, and Genevieve briefly hide out at George's house, where his wife is none too happy to be harboring them.
-->'''George:''' From this point on, [[Film/TheGodfather never ask me about my business!]] ''(wife slaps him)''
-->'''George's wife:''' Come with me, schmuck. Now.
* Carter's [[{{Squick}} reaction]] to Genevieve taking off her wig:
-->'''Carter:''' Holy mother of Jesus, she's a man! I went to second base with a damn French man! [[Film/TheCryingGame It's the Crying Games]]! [[Film/BrokebackMountain I'm Brokeback Carter]]!
-->'''Genevieve:''' I'm not a man, it's just a wig!
-->'''Carter:''' You sure about that? Huh?! Lee, go over there and check the hardware! If she got anything in her bag bigger than a 3 ounce, we gon' beat his ass!
** And later in the scene:
--->'''Carter''': You're messed up in some weird shit, lady. I mean, man, whatever the hell you are.
--->'''Genevieve''': ''(annoyed)'' I'm a ''woman!''
* When Reynard is revealed to be a bad guy:
--> '''Carter:''' It's over, Reynard. You know what it's like to be an old man in prison? They call you "pops". They make you work in the library. [[Literature/TheGreenMile Your best friend, gonna be a mouse.]]
* In the last brawl on the Eiffel Tower Carter and a mook are fighting, at one point both break wooden chairs on each other and the mook is clearly in pain while Carter tries his best to look like it didn't hurt... and he fails miserably limping away and whipering in pain.
* ''[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Lee, I'm gonna kill you if we don't die!]]''
** "Carter, [[BrickJoke I'm not constipated anymore!"]]
* Creator/RomanPolanski as the French chief of police, who gives Carter and Lee a [[AssShove cavity search]] upon their arrival to France. Then SmashCut to Carter and Lee walking awkwardly out of the police station.
-->'''Chief:''' This will just take a moment. [''Snaps rubber glove cheerfully''] Welcome to Paris.
-->'''Lee:''' [[OhCrap Oh, shit.]]
** Moments later, when they get in George's cab, and he immediately boots them out because Carter's an American.
-->'''Carter:''' Listen, man! We just got violated by a small Frenchman!\\
'''Lee:''' Wearing a ''very'' large ring!
** And then he shows up at the end of the movie, [[TheCavalryArrivesLate after everything's over]], leading to this exchange:
--->'''Chief:''' Congratulations! It seems we finally managed to bring down the triads!
--->'''Lee:''' ''We?!''
--->'''Carter:''' You didn't do shit!
--->'''Lee:''' My butt still hurts!
** And then they punch him out and walk away while [[CallBack "War" plays over the scene]].
[[/folder]]