* "My spoon is too big."
* ''Silly Hats ONLY''
* The {{Non Sequitur}}s from ThoseTwoGuys, at least until things [[NightmareFuel get freaky]].
-->"Tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?"\\
"I live in a giant bucket."
** The very best one is, of course:
---> "Say, do you want to go see a movie?" \\
"I'm feeling fat, and sassy." \\
"'''DOYOOOOOOOOOOOO!'''" \\
"'''GAIAAAAAAAAAAAA!'''" \\
"'''YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!'''" ''[eye pops and explodes in a [[HighPressureBlood fountain of blood]]]'' \\
"'''WOAAAAHHHHHHHHH!'''" \\
"'''DOAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHH!'''" \\
"'''WOAAAAHHHHHHHH!'''" \\
"'''''HYEEEEEEUGGGGHHHHHHHH'''''"
* "You're watching ''The Family Learning Channel''. And now, [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext angry ticks fire out of my nipples]]."
* "My anus is bleeding!" Admit it, you laughed. (If you listen carefully, you can even hear ''the voice actor'' fighting back laughter during the last delivery.)
* "I am the queen of France!" as [[NightmareFuel scary as it was]], the way he said it and the little dance he did to go with it made it [[BloodyHilarious pretty darn hilarious]].
* The "slogan" for the "Kelp Dip" commercial, which is the best-known and most often-quoted Rejected jokes:
---> "[[SelfDeprecatingHumor I]] am a [[OnlyInItForTheMoney consumer whore]]!" \\
"''And how''!"
* The segment [[StylisticSuck drawn with Don Hertzfeldt's left hand]].