[[folder: Redwall ]]
* When old Methuselah discovers the connection between ''I - Am That Is'' and Matthias' name, he starts giggling and wise-cracking, causing Matthias to think that the grinning old guy next to him has finally [[SanitySlippage snapped]]. Jacques kindly described it as "second infancy". And Matthias keeps thinking that for almost a page.
* Basil's banter with Cluny while he and Jess were taking back the tapestry.
--> '''Cluny:''' "Get him! I want his head!!"
--> '''Basil:''' "What's the matter? Isn't your own head good enough?"
* Any scene with Basil Stag Hare.
* Sela and Fangburn tell BlatantLies to Cluny in an attempt to explain why Redtooth is missing - he actually got killed by Constance, they claim he fell in a random swamp. Fangburn is so used to agreeing with everything his boss says that this happens:
-->'''Cluny''': [[SarcasmMode And then I suppose three little pigs with wings flew down and gave you a toffee apple each?]]
-->'''Fangburn''': Yes. Er, I mean, what was that, Chief?
-->(Sela kicks him.)
[[folder: Mattimeo ]]
* This scene:
-->"Mangiz does not forget an insult, hedgepig."
-->"Good, then here's a few more to remember, you [[FloweryInsults brainless featherbottomed excuse for a duck]]."
-->"I will not stand here and be insulted!"
-->"Then stand somewhere else and I'll insult you there, featherbag!"
[[folder: Mariel of Redwall ]]
* The RunningGag about the mole who has a taste for wild garlic.
[[folder: The Bellmaker ]]
* Mariel and Dandin toward the beginning. They've established that they don't have any food except for some months-old oatcakes that Mariel had kept to remind her of Redwall, and they decide to sleep. Dandin starts talking about Abbey food, and then:
-->'''Dandin:''' Prob'ly mint tea as well, icy cold, brewed since dawn, clear and fragrant, just right for sipping on a hot day like... ''(Mariel hits him over the head with her haversack)'' Yowch! \\
'''Mariel:''' One more word and I'll let you have it again!\\
'''Dandin:''' Can't hear you, old mouseypaws. You've knocked me senseless with those two oatcakes in there!\\
'''Mariel:''' Good! Perhaps you'll be quiet now.\\
'''Dandin:''' Quiet? I haven't said a single word!\\
'''Mariel:''' Right, then ''I'll'' say a single word: Goodnight!\\
'''Dandin:''' Don't you mean good afternoon?\\
'''Mariel:''' I mean goodnight, or I'll brain you with this haversack!\\
'''Dandin:''' Oh, righto. Goodnight!
** It's especially entertaining in the audio version - some particularly good voice acting on the part of Dandin's actor.
* Pretty much anything Blaggut does.
** At supper, he asks Mellus where the mousebabe and molebabe are, and calls her "stripedog". She glares at him, and responds tightly that they're in bed and her name is Mellus, not "stripedog". Completely unaware of how angry he'd just made her, Blaggut responds cheerfully:
--->'''Blaggut:''' Pleased t'meet yer, Mellers. My name's Blaggut, but the Cap'n 'ere calls me fat'ead an' lazypaws an' baggybum an' suchlike names. Hoho, 'e's a one fer names, is the Cap'n!\\
''(Slipp kicks him)''\\
'''Slipp:''' Will you stow all that 'Cap'n, Cap'n'! Yer an addle-nosed, bottlebrained, butterbellied barnacle!
* Durry gets swept overboard, and Joseph, without thinking, grabs "the thing nearest to him - Foremole." He swings Foremole over the rail by his feet so he can grab Durry.
[[folder: Outcast of Redwall ]]
* Balefur's entire introduction scene.
--> '''Swartt:''' "I am Swartt Sixclaw, leader of this horde!"
--> '''[[JerkAss Balefur]]:''' "Aye, so you are. What else is new, ferret?"
* "Ferret smashed inta bits! 'Ead one place, paws another, tail inna nundred bits. Smashed ferret! Yeeheehee!"
* "Some warlord you are. I've seen more action from a squashed frog!"
* Jodd's full name.
[[folder: Pearls of Lutra ]]
* This moment:
-->'''Tansy:''' "Put a paw near that frosting, and I'll smack it with this spoon!"
--> '''[[BigEater Clecky:]]''' [[ExactWords *scoops some into his mouth with his ear*]]
[[folder: The Long Patrol ]]
* "If brains wuz bread, youda starved to death afore you was born!"
* Having just captured the painted ones, the hares shout out recipes for cooking one. When others ask for some, Rockjaw Grang responds that he's been doing all the carrying so this one is his and the others should get their own; this one's going in a hotpot. After Major Perigord remarks that they are not really going to eat the rat, Rockjaw simply says, "spoilsport".
* Rockjaw threatening to bean Lieutenant Morio with a pie for calling him Russano's "pretty little nurse" after the badgerbabe is christened.
[[folder: Marlfox ]]
* The Duel of Insults.
[[folder: Loamhedge ]]
* [[PunchClockVillain Flinky]] and [[AffablyEvil company]]. At least before they kill poor Junty the Cellarhog. Luckily LaserGuidedKarma catches up to them.