Pretty much every episode of ''RedVsBlue'' [[strike:has]] ''is'' a Crowning Moment of Funny. These are the best ones.
----
[[folder:The Blood Gulch Chronicles]]
* In the ''Relocated'' commentary Burnie Burns stated flat-out that if a joke is funny enough, the continuity gets temporarily suspended so it can be used, in the particular case the "Sister falling through the ice" joke.
* The iconic Warthog[=/=]Puma exchange from Episode 2, but also Sarge's casual threats to kill Grif:
--> '''Sarge:''' God''damn'' it, Private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!\\
'''Sarge:''' Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
** The best part of that bit is how willing Simmons is to comply:
--> '''Simmons:''' "Oh, I'll do it, sir!"
** There's also Sarge's extremely sarcastic confirmation of Grif's questioning that the war is over.
---> '''Sarge''': That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out ''you're'' the big hero, and we're gonna hold a ''parade'' in your honor! I get to drive the float, and Simmons here '''''IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!'''''
** In the middle of that, there is
---> '''Sarge''': See these tow hooks? They look like tusks. Now what kind of animal has tusks.
---> '''Grif''': A Walrus
---> '''Sarge''': God dammit, didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?
* "Oh, ''no!'' ''I'm'' the team-killing fucktard!" "You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!"
** "I can't believe Church shot me." "''Oh, don't even START, Caboose!''"
*** And right before that:
-->'''Doc''': Besides, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt.\\
'''Church''':... I see...\\
(Aim somewhere off-screen, and shoot)\\
'''Caboose''': Oww! My foot!\\
'''Church''': Well, looks like Caboose just hurt himself! Maybe you should get over there and help him, Doc.\\
'''Doc''': You know, you could have just asked nicely...
** "I just wanted you to know. I always hated you. I always hated you the most." "I know. Now shut up and die, you prick."
* From Episode 10:
-->'''Church''': Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up behind him, pulled Jimmy's skull out of his head and beat him to death with it.
-->'''Tucker''': Wait a second. How do you beat someone to death with his own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.
-->'''Church''': That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
-->'''Jimmy''': ''(While Tex is melee attacking him with the Oddball)'' [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike This doesn't seem physically possible!]]
* From Episode 20:
-->'''Doc''': I'm a pacifist.
-->'''Caboose''': You're a thing that babies suck on?
-->'''Tucker''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice No dude, that's a pedophile.]]
* From Episode 21:
-->'''Church''': Alright, you! Doc! Get over there and help Caboose!\\
'''Doc''': My name isn't Doc. It's Dufresne.\\
'''Church''': Yeah. I can't pronounce that. So from now on, it's Doc.\\
'''Doc''': I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm not a doctor; I'm a [[TheMedic medic]].\\
'''Tucker''': What's the difference?\\
'''Doc''': Well, a doctor cures people. A medic makes them more comfortable... While they die.\\
'''Tucker''': Mental note: Don't ''ever'' get shot.
* From Episode 78, Church calls dibs on a spaceship:
-->'''Grif''': You can't call dibs on a spaceship. That's ridiculous.
-->'''Church''': Yes I can. Dibs. See, I just did it again. Now, get the fuck away from my spaceship, tomato can.
-->'''Simmons''': Don't call me tomato can.
-->'''Grif''': [[TemptingFate Try and take it then.]]
-->'''Church''': Um, Ok. Sheila? *camera pans to [[TankGoodness Sheila the Scorpion]]*
-->'''Sheila''': You bet. *points cannon at red team.*
-->'''Grif''': Fuck!
-->'''Church''': You kinda forget about that too, didn't you?
-->'''Simmons''': Yeah, kinda.
-->'''Sheila''': Now, step away from the ship you tomato can.
-->'''Church''': Ha ha. Tomato can.
-->'''Sheila''': You too, Lemon head.
-->'''Grif''': Hey, I'm orange, not yellow. *Church continues laughing*
** In the next episode, Sarge goes on a rant about the International system of Dibs and the No-Take-Back Policy. He then proceeds to call next.
* From Episode 83 (Grif's roasting of Sarge ''[[NotQuiteDead at his own funeral]]''):
--> '''Grif''': And I'm not asking, and he's not telling, but I heard when Donut first came to the base, Sarge spent a lot of time talking about glazed Donut holes, if you know what I mean! Hi-yo!
--> '''Simmons:''' ''{{Too Soon}}!''
--> '''Grif:''' Hey now!
** The whole freaking funeral.
--> '''Grif:''' (To [[NotQuiteDead Sarge]]) [[TheStarscream Is he campaigning for your position at your own funeral?]] ''[[TheStarscream Classy.]]''
* '''EVERYTHING''' in Episode 28.5, "The Last Episode Ever".
--> '''Grif:''' But how'd you get out of there?! I tied you up and pored ''concrete'' over the grave! Just in case you turned into a zombie!
--> '''Sarge:''' Yes, but you made one crucial mistake: you left me my spoon.
--> '''Grif:''' NO!
--> '''Sarge:''' That's right! I '''ate''' my way out! The soft earth was like a delicious butterstotch brownie to me!
* "Operation Circle of Confusion":
--> '''Church:''' All right, get ready to launch Operation Circle of Confusion.
--> '''Tucker:''' Uh, Church? It kinda looks more like a triangle from down here.
--> '''Church:''' What?
--> '''Tucker:''' I'm just saying, it doesn't look much like a circle. It looks more like we're forming a triangle. Just a side note.
--> '''Church:''' OK, fine. Triangle of Confusion! Rhombus of Terror! [[RuleOfThree Parabola of Mystery!]] Who cares? ''Get the goddamn show on the road!''
* The "Insert Quarter" alternate ending to Episode 100, which reveals the entire series was a game of ''Halo 2'':
--> '''Grif:''' What the fuck was ''that?''
--> '''Simmons:''' That was the weirdest match I've ever played...
--> '''Church:''' Dude, that sucked. I got team-killed in like the first ten seconds!
--> '''Caboose:''' Sorry, that was my fault. Some guy kept screaming into the mic.
--> '''Tucker:''' BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!
--> '''Church:''' Dude, '''shut up!'''
--> '''Caboose:''' See?
--> '''Tucker:''' BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!
--> '''Church:''' Alright, that's it, I'm muting him.
--> '''Sarge:''' Alright, let's play another.
--> '''Donut:''' Dude, I am ''not'' wearing that armor again.
--> '''Sarge:''' Same teams?
--> '''Church:''' [[HilariousInHindsight Yeah, same teams, new map.]]
--> '''All:''' [[SequelHook NEW MAP!]]
* ''Fight! Fight!'' alternate ending had some good moments. For instance:
--> '''Church:''' Caboose! Get in that tank and give us covering fire!\\
'''Caboose:''' Okay! ''(gets into the tank)''\\
'''Church:''' [[TemptingFate And don't shoot me this time!]]\\
'''Caboose:''' Okay! ''(does exactly that)''\\
'''Church:''' [[FamousLastWords SON OF A BITCH!]]\\
'''Caboose:''' ...wait. What was that first part again?
** Also, Sarge is the first one killed. Then he gets back in the fight, to Tucker's surprise.
-->'''Sarge:''' Aha! Got you, Blues!\\
'''Tucker:''' Sarge? I thought you were dead!\\
'''Sarge:''' I was dead! [[WorstAid Doc]] revived me! ''(Doc jumps into the shot)''\\
'''Doc:''' That's right! And if anyone else needs medical attention, I'll be more than happy to hel- ''[[KilledMidSentence (is shot by Sarge)]]''\\
'''Doc:''' Son of a bitch!\\
'''Sarge:''' [[UnfriendlyFire Oh, I'm sorry.]] Doc will be unable to assist anyone else. ''(is shot by Sister)''\\
'''Sarge:''' Ah, son of a bitch again. [[{{Irony}} Medic!]]
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znAamKnJagI epic battle between Church and a voicemail system]].
--> '''Grif:''' I bet the Blues don't have to put up with anything ''this'' annoying.
--> '''Voice-Messaging System:''' [[DescriptionCut To mark this message as "Urgent", press 11.]]
--> '''Church:''' THERE '''IS''' NO ELEVEN, YOU '''''FUCKING WHORE!!!'''''
--> '''Doc:''' Oooh, language!
* The episode where Tucker and Caboose go on a quest with the alien, but before they do, they find out Tex has been looking at the alien's genitals...
-->'''Caboose''': You told me that was another arm!
-->'''Andy''': Hey, Caboose! High Five!
-->'''Caboose''': I don't want to do that anymore...
* Don't forget Church's pregnant guy rant:
-->'''Church''': Okay, guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised at our base right now. So I really, really, REALLY don't have time for this horse-shit right now!
-->{{Beat}}
-->'''Grif''': ...Uh, what was that part about the pregnant guy?
-->'''Church''': HE'S NOT PREGNANT! That's impossible.
--> '''Andy:''' Yeah. Unless the alien impregnated him. They infect the host with a parasitic embryo.
--> '''Church:''' WHAT?! Why didn't you tell us that could happen?!
--> '''Andy:''' Er uh, I mean uh... ''alien baby''?! That's shocking! I am shocked.
* Episode 74, "Right to Remain Silenced". After Simmons returns to the Red Team, Sarge insists on having a trial to determine what his fate for insubordination and treason should be:
--> '''Simmons:''' We don't even have a judge!
--> '''Sarge:''' Inaffirmative. In my civilian life, I worked as a judge for many years.
--> '''Grif:''' What level? Municipal? Federal?!
--> '''Sarge:''' Livestock. And occasionally agriculture. Now let's find out if Simmons is guilty of treason -- or best in breed! 
** Later on:
--> '''Grif:''' Look it's only a matter of time before Donut finds out we're having this trial.
--> '''Sarge:''' I'm listening.
--> '''Grif:''' Well, if you're the judge and the DA, and I'm the defense, you know Donut's gonna wanna be the bailiff, and that means he's gonna wanna wear the cop uniform with the short shorts.
--> '''Simmons:''' Ugh. [[BrainBleach Officer Hotpants]].
--> '''Grif:''' Exactly. And I think we can all remember that dance routine from Sarge's birthday party.
--> '''Simmons:''' (scene switches to Halo 2 engine) ''Oh my God, that cake is huge! It's big enough to fit a person in it.'' 
--> '''Grif:''' ''Why does the cake smell like baby oil? OH GOD, WHERE'S DONUT?!'' 
** And then O'Malley negotiating with the Blues.
--> '''O'Malley:''' Huhuhuhuhuhuh oh yes you will. You will or your little friend Tucker will die, die a most horrible death. And you know his blood will be on your hands. Years from now, you'll drive yourself mad wondering if there was anything you could have done to save him, so you will agree to what I want. [[LargeHam You will agree even though what I want is something mysterious, what I want is something frightening, what I want is something PUUUUUUUUUURE EEEEEEEEEEVIL, AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!]] ({{Beat}}) I've also been told that a twenty dollar co-pay is pretty much standard.
--> '''Church:''' Alright fine.
--> '''O'Malley:''' Ha haha you fool. And we want the twenty dollars up-front.
--> '''Church:''' Fine.
--> '''O'Malley:''' And in cash.
--> '''Church:''' Whatever.
--> '''O'Malley:''' [[EvilIsPetty Ah, you moron. If you had used a credit card, you could have gotten airline miles. Or at least a 30-day grace period with no interest. You FISCALLY irresponsible fools.]]
--> '''Church:''' Caboose give me $20. Wait, give me $30.
* The Red vs. Blue Battle in Episode 39, particularly this:
--> '''Red Soldier:''' (is shot) Ah, you fucking camping bitch!
--> '''Blue Soldier:''' (running away) It's a legitimate strategy!
** So funny [[http://redvsblue.com/store/product.php?id=76 they turned it into a shirt.]]
** You can see the clip [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLMYTQUw8Lc here.]]
* "My name is Michael J. Caboose. And '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis I. Hate. Babies.]]'''''" As well as his follow-up, "[[SeriousBusiness Your toast is burnt.]] [[MundaneMadeAwesome And no amount of scraping will]] [[AndIMustScream remove the black part.]]"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Reconstruction]]
* Church and Caboose's "reunion." Complete with sniper rifle. 
--> '''Caboose''': (while Church shoots at him... and misses) I have missed you so much! It has been so long! ''Did you miss me?!''
--> '''Church''': Fuck, I missed him!
--> '''Caboose''': I know you did!
* The [[MemeticMutation now]] [[CatchPhrase infamous]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTNR8OVKQhs grenade scene]] from Episode 6.
-->'''Washington:''' That, was the worst throw ever...of all time.
-->'''Caboose:''' Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way.
* In Episode 15, when Wash has Church posing as a prisoner. Wash quickly kills one guard, while Church empties an entire clip at a guy from about 2 feet away and [[EpicFail misses every shot.]]
--> '''Church:''' Hey could you give me a hand here, I'm out of bullets.
* Episode 19: The '[[BrickJoke Emp]]'
--> '''Washington:''' EMP?! You have got to be fucking kidding m--
* What? No mention of Church's "Man Cannon" ride in Episode 5?
--> '''Washington:''' I said 'quietly!' What part of 'quiet' don't you understand? 
--> '''Church:''' What part?! How about the part when I got thrown ''eighty feet in the fucking air by the '''[[BuffySpeak GODDAMNED THROWING THING]]?!'''''
* The conversation that happens when Washington reveals his history with AIs.
--> '''Caboose:''' We have a lot in common Agent Washington.
--> '''Washington:''' No we don't.
--> {{Beat}}
--> '''Washington:''' And don't ever say that again.
* In Episode 6, when Washington, Caboose and Church chase after South Dakota as they all fight off the Meta, check out Church's plan to get her. 
--> '''Church:''' Hey, see that purple one? She's on our team. You should help her.
--> '''Caboose:''' Okay! ('''fires in Dakota's direction and shoots her down''')
--> '''Caboose:''' Uhm... she got in the way when I was trying to help her.
--> '''Church:''' Okay, we're good!
* Later in that episode, we get this gem: (ItMakesSenseInContext, but still.)
--> '''Washington:''' I'm not insane. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go blow up this dead body.
** Which leads to a FunnyBackgroundEvent of Washington disposing the body. By shooting it several times with a rifle, throwing a grenade on it, burning it with a flame thrower, loading several explosives on it and detonating the explosives. He may have had some issues he was working out there.
* In Episode 7, it is revealed that central command has a keyboard shortcut for reporting Caboose's team kills.
--> '''Caboose:''' [[PrecisionFStrike Control+F+U.]]
* "Being wrong is not a democracy!"
* In the sponsor's cut of one of the episodes, Church complains in front of Delta how the AIs are always yapping and being annoying. To which Delta responds (in his typical superficially emotionless tone), "...I am going to ''ignore'' that..."
* In Episode 9, Simmons is trying to explain to Sarge that Grif is the sergeant. Sarge proves himself physically incapable of comprehending.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Recreation]]
* In chapter 7 along with AwesomeMusic, is that when the second team (Sarge, Caboose and Grif) are dispatched to Tucker's location, they start the Warthog... and then they drive to the lake. One panel later they appear in the ''next beach'' preceding by the "Jaime y Los Chamacos- Los Dos Laredos/Acordeones" since season 1.
-->'''Lopez''': [[FlatWhat ¿Acaban de conducir en el agua?]] [[LampshadeHanging (Did they just drive into the water?)]]
** Possible FridgeBrilliance but the Warthog uses hydrogen fuel and the fuel equipment can crack hydrogen from a water source so...
* While stuck in the middle of a minefield, Grif takes advantage to tell Sarge ''exactly'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech what he thinks of him]]. When Sarge shoots at him with the shotgun, Grif doesn't even flinch.
-->'''Grif:''' I imagine it can be pretty hard to be an ineffective leader with no respect- ''*shotgun blast*'' who doesn't understand that his primary weapon has a much shorter effective range than most weapons, but I think since we're gonna die anyway, you deserve to know that.
** In general, the scenes in the minefield were hilarious. Ranging from "what's a step?" to both Sarge and Caboose not knowing their left and right. In the end, Grif gives up and just decides to "fuck it" and hope for the best and then drives off.
* Simmons is trying to contact Sarge via radio, but it's broken. He asks if Lopez can fix it.
--> '''Lopez''': ''Can I fix their radio from here? Sure. [[DeadpanSnarker Because I am magic. I am a magic robot.]]''
* "I am not a thing! [[spoiler:My name is Leonard Church, and YOU WILL FEAR MY LASERFACE!"]] Which doubled up as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.
* C.T. vs. Grif and Sarge. In an interrogation. It goes about as well as you would expect.
-->'''Sarge''': Why? What's going on around here?
-->'''C.T.''': I can't tell you that.
-->'''Sarge''': Can't tell us or you don't want to tell us?
-->'''C.T.''': I can't tell you. Which is convenient because I don't want to tell you.
-->'''Grif''': Why don't you want to tell us?
-->'''C.T.''': Because it's secret.
-->'''Sarge''': Regular secret or...TOP secret?
-->'''C.T.''': Top secret!
-->'''Sarge''': Damn it, the worst kind!
-->'''Grif''': Well, why is it so secretive?
-->'''C.T.''': I can't tell you that because that information is classified!
-->'''Sarge''': [[CompletelyMissingthePoint Classified as what?]]
-->'''C.T.''': CLASSIFIED AS SOMETHING I CAN'T TELL YOU. Now stop fishing for information!
--> ''{{Beat}}''
-->'''Grif''': What information do you think we're fishing for?
-->'''C.T.''': Okay, that wasn't even a good attempt.
-->'''Grif''': Yeah...gotta agree with that.
--> ''later''
-->'''C.T.''': Not one that you can recognize now let's...Hey, wait! Where's your other guy?
-->'''Sarge''': Uhhh...[[BlatantLies what guy?]]
-->'''C.T.''': The other guy.
-->'''Sarge''': He's right there ''(points to Grif)''
-->'''C.T.''': The OTHER other guy!
-->'''Grif''': He's right...there ''(points to Sarge)?
-->'''C.T.''': THAT'S IT!! Either you're here to investigate us or you're complete idiots! Either way, I'VE HAD IT. Tell me where the blue guy went or I'll shoot the orange one ''(cocks gun)''.
--> ''Sarge stares at him blankly''
-->'''C.T.''': Well?!
-->'''Grif''': Dude, I can save you some time. You just picked the wrong guy to threaten. It'll make sense once you get to know us.

* Donut is inspecting the currently empty Blue Base when [[BigBad the Meta]] shows up. Donut, having missed out on the previous season's fun, simply thinks he's a new recruit and starts to introduce himself. Simmons comes looking for him...
-->'''Donut''': Hey! Yeah, Simmons! I’m inside the Blue Base! Guess what? Blue Team got a new soldier!
-->'''Simmons''': ''[from outside]'' What? They sent another team member? Why would they do that? ''[entering the base]'' That doesn’t make any se-'''''[[OhCrap OH FUCK!]]''''' Welcometotheneighborhoodseeyoulater!
* Sarge's eulogy for Caboose in Episode 9 (With "Taps" playing in the background).
--> '''Sarge''': Dear Lord, we thank you for taking another Blue back to Heaven today, or rather not to Heaven. To whatever fiery pit you send Blues to, so they can suffer in eternity. You could've taken Grif. ''But you didn't''. '''Again'''. Not sure why--it would've been easy! Those mine things are everywhere! But I guess you know what you're doing...
--> '''Caboose''': ''( finally falls out of the sky after having been launched into the air [[BrickJoke last episode]])'' air...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (THUD!) Wow! Now ''that'' was a big explosion!
--> '''Grif''': Blue guy's back!
--> '''Caboose''': I was really high. Did anyone get a picture?
--> '''Sarge''': And now you brought him back. And Grif's still here! I hate to criticize but you could've just had him land on Grif and squash him. That would've been easy! Just a note; you can take it or leave it. Like I said not really my place to criticize. Okay the end amen.
--> '''C.T.''': What the fuck is ''wrong'' with you people?
* The fact that, in a deleted scene, not only does Epsilon!Church have Two Girls One Cup in his memory, but the fact that Caboose's grandmother was apparently part of it, and that ''TUCKER HAS SEEN BETTER.'' Although those may count more as {{Squick}} than funny.
* When Simmons is confronting the Meta with a rocket launcher, we get this exchange.
--> '''Simmons:''' Alright you bastard, prepare to get "Simmonsized".
--> ''Simmons fires a rocket which misses the Meta and destroys a motorcycle that Lopez had just built.''
--> '''Simmons:''' Well fuck me.
--> ''A couple of rockets hit the Meta forcing him to retreat. Lopez comes out with a massive rocket launcher.''
--> '''Lopez:''' ¿Usted dijos "Simmonsized"? (Did you seriously just say "Simmonsized"?)
--> '''Simmons:''' Lopez?
--> '''Lopez:''' Cierre la cogida. Usted rompio motocicleta. (Shut the fuck up. You broke my motorcycle again.)
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Revelation]]
* In Episode 2, one of the most outstanding is Sarge's [[InsaneTrollLogic increasingly]] [[BatDeduction outlandish reasoning]] for how he knows what's happened at Valhalla. All of which is true.
* Episode 4, with Simmons picking up part of the hog as a weapon
** This scene from '"Revelation'' is what got this troper interested in the series:
--->'''Doc''': (''after the Meta suddenly slows down while trying to punch Doc'') Am I dead? Am I dead?
--->'''Simmons''': Doc, you did it!
--->'''Doc''': (''looks at the Meta, whose fist is still slowly traveling towards Doc, and [[PainfullySlowProjectile continues to do so throughout the rest of this conversation]]'') He's frozen!
--->'''Simmons''': It looks like you overloaded his time-distortion unit. It looks like you caused some kind of inversion. Instead of making everything else slow, it made ''him'' slow!
--->'''Doc''': Alright! Score one for the pacifists! How do you like me now, Meta!
--->'''Simmons''': Um, Doc, I wouldn't get to close to him if I were you.
--->'''Doc''': Why? What's he gonna do? Beat me up over the course of the next two weeks?
--->'''Simmons''': Well, technically he's not actually moving slower. He's moving at the same speed, just over a longer period of time.
--->'''Doc''': Huh?
--->'''Simmons''': It's relativistic. His fist is still moving at the same velocity, we're just viewing it at a faster timeframe. Therefore, it ''looks'' slowed down, but theoretically, it should carry the same force.
--->'''Doc''': (''looks at the Meta again'') Nah, see, he's moving slower!
--->(''camera zooms in on the Meta's fist, which'' lightly taps ''against Doc's helmet'')
--->'''Doc''': Woaaauugh! (''goes flying into Blue Base's walls, and gets stuck there'')
--->'''Simmons''': See? That's what you get for arguing with science. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch.]]
* In Episode 5, when Grif and Simmons have to hide Epsilon quickly:
-->'''Grif:''' Uh... (''looks at Epsilon, who is immobile on the sand'')
-->'''Epsilon:''' Don't do it, you fuckERRRRRRRRRR... (''goes flying into the distance'' as Grif punts him)
** Becomes even more HilariousInHindsight when you learn that this particular incident is why Tex spends so much time [[GroinAttack beating him up]] later on.
** It gets even funnier when they're being confronted and Grif told Simmons to be cool (and not give away what just happened). Simmons, having just come back, have no idea what's going on.
-->'''Simmons''': What the-? Grif! What are you doing?!
-->'''Grif''': Shut up, man! Be cool.
-->'''Simmons''': Be cool? ''(aliens come upon the scene)'' Whoa! I mean, what's the 411, daddy-o's? Me and my homy were just hangin' all up in here, deserts...ville. It's all good! You know what I'm sayin', scrillas?
-->'''Grif''': What the fuck are you doing?
-->'''Simmons''': You told be to be cool!
-->'''Grif''': Right. ''So what the fuck are you doing?''
* A moment for episode nine has three members of the red team coming into the abandoned base. They had decided to give themselves names based off of the states of the USA, like the Freelancers, in order to trick the computer that watched the door. Things didn't go quite as planned.
--> '''Grif''': I told you guys that stupid plan wouldn't work.
--> '''Simmons''': That's because you said your name was agent Pluto!
--> '''Sarge''': Luckily, we had a contingency plan to fall back on.
--> '''Grif''': Sarge, shotgun to the face is not a contingency plan. I keep telling you that.
--> '''Shiela''': ''(broken and riddled with bullet holes)'' Hello, this is a private facility. Hello, this is a private facility.
--> '''Sarge''': Don't be so quick to judge, Grif. Shotgun to the face can be a plan in a variety of situations. For instance, ''(points gun at Grif)'' watch how quickly is cures insubordination!
* Episode 9: "Is it possible to ambush someone who's beating through a metal door to get to you?"
** "Humens suk!" ''*Arrow pointing to dead stick figure*'' -> "Shisno"
-->'''Doc:''' What's it say?\\
'''Washington:''' [[TranquilFury It says peace talks have broken down.]] [[KillEmAll Now we do things our way.]]
* Episode 10: The episode opens with some Reds and Blues running in abject fear, as [[spoiler:Tex]] is on the warpath.
-->'''F.I.L.S.S.''': [[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Alarm! Security breach--level Alpha! All personnel report for duty! This is not a drill! ]]
\\
''(Simmons, Grif and Sarge run through, with Sarge laying cover fire with a shotgun)''\\
'''Simmons''': ''RUN!''\\
'''Grif''': Oh, crap! Where is [[spoiler: she]]?!\\
'''Simmons''': I don't wanna die!
** Really the entirety of Episode 10 is this and a CrowningMomentOfAwesome as [[spoiler:Tex]] just lays [[CurbStompBattle a complete smackdown]] against everyone without breaking a sweat. You will be laughing your ass off.
--->''(after waylaying Grif, [[spoiler:Tex]], who is now standing above him, points Grif's shotgun at him)''\\
'''Simmons''': Oh, no! Grif!\\
'''Grif''': Yikes!\\
''([[spoiler:Tex]] pulls the trigger...and finds out [[WheresTheKaboom it's out of ammo]])''\\
'''Sarge''': ''(as [[spoiler:Tex]] repeatedly pulls the trigger)'' Private Grif, you should be ashamed of yourself! You've run out of ammo again! That's ''your'' responsibility!\\
'''Grif''': Huh. I guess this is the first time my laziness saved my--\\
''([[spoiler:Tex]] steps on Grif, then grabs the barrel of the gun and winds up like a golf club, aiming right at [[GroinAttack Grif's nuts]])''\\
'''Grif''': ''(cowering, holding up a traffic cone)'' [[MemeticMutation Protect me, cone!]]\\
'''''[WHAP!]'''''\\
''(Grif gets knocked into Simmons, bowling him and a teleportation gate over)''\\
'''Simmons''': Watch it!\\
'''Grif''': ''You'' watch it!\\
'''Sarge''': You idiots! Let me show you how it's done--''(eats a left hook from [[spoiler:Tex]])''--ugh!\\
'''Simmons''': Nice demonstration, Sarge.\\
'''Sarge''': Ah, shut up.
** "I feel defeated! Yet inexplicably rejuvenated!" Said by Sarge while covered in med-kits.
--->'''Caboose''': Great! I saved Tucker! ''({{Beat}})'' Oh, wait...[[GoneHorriblyRight I saved Tucker...]]\\
'''Tucker''': Caboose! What the hell are you doing?! You're messing up my plan with Simmons! I was supposed to distract [[spoiler:her]] for him!\\
''([[spoiler:Tex]] overhears the communique, and turns to see Simmons loading a rocket)''\\
'''Simmons''': ''(panicking)'' [[OhCrap YOU RATTED ME OUT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!]]
** The amount of [[GroinAttack shots to the nuts]] that Grif took would be enough to render the man sterile. The funniest one being the very casual one where [[spoiler:Tex]] pops up through a portal, looks at Grif's groin, then punches them directly.
*** Seven in all, with two of them being hard enough to ''[[UpToEleven crack stone]]''.
--->'''Grif:''' [[LampshadeHanging What is your problem with my balls?]]
** After Sarge gets buried in medkits:
--->'''Sarge''': What happened? [[LampshadeHanging I feel defeated... yet inexplicably rejuvenated!]]
** Trying to drop a massive shipping crate on [[spoiler:Tex]]:
--->'''Tucker''': ''(as the crate lands)'' I can't believed that worked!\\
''(Close-up reveals the ground caved beneath [[spoiler:Tex]], who is now holding the crate up)''\\
'''Tucker''': Oh, fuck! That didn't work!\\
'''F.I.L.S.S.''': ''(to Caboose)'' [[/folder]]

[[folder: I knew that would not work. Agent [[spoiler:Tex ]]
is [[UnderStatement a bit]] of a BadAss]].
** Their opponent hits Tucker so hard, [[spoiler:she]] knocks [[CallBack the black stuff]] right off his armor.
** The climax of the episode:
--->'''Sarge''': ''(as [[spoiler:Tex]] turns and runs)'' You're all clear, Simmons! Now shoot [[spoiler:her]]!\\
'''Simmons''': Fire in the hole! ''(fires rocket launcher)''\\
''([[spoiler:Tex]] runs with the rocket right on [[spoiler:her]] tail... then jumps into a portal, comes out another one lying on the ground, and runs towards Simmons and company with the rocket still chasing [[spoiler:her]])''\\
'''Tucker''': [[OhCrap Are you fucking kidding me?!]] ''RUN!''\\
''(Sarge, Simmons and Tucker try to run, but bump into one another and get nowhere. [[spoiler:Tex]] then runs up to them, leveling all three with a single clothesline without breaking stride; when [[spoiler:she]] sees Grif, [[spoiler:she]] baseball-slides between his legs.)''\\
'''Grif''': ''(seeing the rocket still chasing [[spoiler:Tex]])'' Oh god...''(covers his crotch)'' not like this!\\
''(The rocket flies harmlessly between his legs.)''\\
'''Grif''': Oh thank God...I thought I was--\\
''(He turns around to see [[spoiler:Tex]] dive into a portal, while said rocket impacts the pile of med-kits and oil barrels from earlier)''\\
'''Grif''': Fuuuuuuuuuucked!
**** Most memorable, and hilarious, would be what happens at the end. After [[spoiler:Tex]] sends the Reds and Blues flying with a huge [[StuffBlowingUp explosion]] (where Grif flies the highest due to the involvement of an oil drum), [[spoiler:she]] starts nudging a concrete divider a few inches using [[spoiler:her]] foot, stands back to survey [[spoiler:her]] work... and then Grif lands on the divider nuts-first.
---->'''Grif''': Why won't you just ''kill me?!''
** How about the immortal "[[SpotTheImpostor They look the same! Which one do I shoot?!]]" "Ow! Shoot the one who's winning, dumbass!"?
* Episode 11: "Yes! Yes! I did it! I am the biggest hero ever! I [[spoiler: beat up the girl!]]"
** "I did it! I...not my fault! Not my fault! I did not do this! The computer made me touch it!"
* The whole dialogue between Grif and Simmons at the end of Episode 15, where they discuss upgrading armor. Specifically, Grif wants Simmons to hook up an invisibility attachment so that he could nap ''whenever he wanted''.
-->'''Grif''': I would be completely unstoppable.
-->'''Simmons''': Actually, you would be the exact opposite of that.
-->'''Grif''': Totally stoppable. Already stopped.
-->'''Simmons''': No man should have that kind of power.
** And then what happens afterwards... Simmons accidentally gives him a [[SuperSpeed super-speed]] attachment...which tires him out so much he takes an impromptu nap when it deactivates. Success?
* Episode 16, after the conversation between Tex and Church, we cut to Wash in the desert. Not only can you can see the Meta beating a dead Alien with his 'Knifle' in the background, you can still hear the noises when Doc and Wash are talking.
* Episode 18: Doc is ''not'' overthinking it. Also has a few touches of [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]].
-->''(nine proximity mines light up around them)''
-->'''Washington:''' [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight Oh, son of a bitch...]]
-->''([[TheRuntAtTheEnd The last mine lights up,]] completing the circle)''
-->'''Meta:''' ''([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere bails from the back of the car]])''
-->'''Doc:''' See? Told ya so.
-->'''''BOOM!'''''
* The result of the BigDamnHeroes moment in Chapter 19:
-->'''Washington:''' ...I'd say the cavalry's arrived, but the I've never seen a line of horses crash into the battlefield from outer space before.
-->'''Church:''' Uh, is it possible for a fragment of an Artificial Intelligence encased in a robotic body to piss its pants? 'Cause I think I just did.
* Caboose's increasingly futile attempts to keep the Reds from gaining access to the door at the Freelancer outpost in Episode 9. When the door starts getting dented from the inside, Caboose just slowly walks away, head down, endlessly muttering "excuse me", "pardon me" and "coming through" until he walks down the hall and out of sight.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Season 9]]
* Starts off strong with one in the very first episode.
-->''(as the Reds are testing their new rocket turret [[spoiler:...on the Blues]])''
-->'''Tucker:''' Yeah, I'm feeling pretty confident about my rocket launcher guess.
-->'''Caboose:''' I dunno, I think Church was right. I think I just torqued in my pants.
* And again in episode one, when Tucker and Caboose realize that Donut isn't a girl despite his pink armor.
-->'''Church:''' Was that ''Donut''?
-->'''Tucker:''' I don't know. That's the chick who was working on the Jeep.
-->'''Church:''' He's not a girl, Tucker, he just wears pink armor. It's a guy.
-->'''Tucker:''' It is? Are you sure?
-->'''Church:''' Yes, I'm sure.
-->'''Tucker:''' Uh... Then I suddenly feel pretty awkward about [[ADateWithRosiePalms something I did twenty minutes ago.]]
-->'''Caboose:''' During alone time.
-->'''Church:''' What the hell is alone time?
-->'''Tucker:''' Hey. It's one of the rules of the cliff, dude. What happens in alone time stays in alone time.
* Episode 2 has North spotting two heat dots coming up behind South through his thermal scope, and South turns around, gun aimed at... a very surprised guard carrying two cups of coffee.
** The way Episode 2 ends is particularly amusing in the very ''non-professional'' way North and South are ordered to stand down.
---> '''Insurrectionist ODST''': Attention ''assholes''! Stand down, you're ''surrounded''! Give us the data file now! You ''will'' be taken into custody! We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. There is ''no escape'', so give us the damn data file!
* "[[CasualDangerDialogue That is the rifle I sleep with every night.]]" In the middle of a firefight.
* Episode 4 has a few, but in the Freelancer section we have this:
---> '''479'er''': Things are about to get-
---> '''Carolina''': Bumpy?
---> '''479'er''': Yeah, bumpy. I was gonna say "crashy" but that works too.
* Also from episode four, South's CurseCutShort.
* Grif suddenly has a cleaning tick. It's just so plain '''wrong''', it's funny.
--->'''Church''': Grif isn't tidy at all, he's filthy!
--->'''Simmons''': He is going to wash his hands for a week if he hears you say that.
** "Donut, don't track mud in here, you know better!!"
* I think Episode 7 should be watched. Any description would ruin it.
** Well, the last half, anyway. Suffice to say, Tucker gives Church tips on how to attract women. With Caboose standing in for the woman.
* Both teams' individual discussions in Episode 9: the Reds talking about how good Lopez is and the Blues first trying to comprehend Church's explanations YET AGAIN and then the whole grenade discussion.
-->'''Tucker:''' Hey, you dropped a grenade.
-->'''Church:''' That's not one of mine. Caboose, pick that up.
-->'''Caboose:''' I'm not allowed to carry grenades, remember? Because of that one exploding time? Which… was no one’s fault.
-->'''Church:''' Well, I didn’t drop it! Tucker, count yours.
-->'''Tucker:''' I have a readout on my helmet, dummy, I don't need to count.
-->'''Church:''' Oh, right. Well, it has to be ''somebody's''.
-->''{{Beat}}''
-->'''Tucker:''' ...somebody threw a grenade at us, didn't they?
-->'''Church:''' Yeah, we probably should've figured that out sooner.
-->''(it explodes)''
* ''Everything'' [[DeadpanSnarker Agent]] [[NiceGuy York]] says in episode 10. It has to be seen to be believed.
** And to accompany that, Wyoming's performance is just pitiful. Count how many times he gets nailed, and how many times he manages to get a hit in. That's a pretty steep ratio.
* When the flashbang grenade blinds the Blues in episode 11.
-->'''Tex:''' Idiots.
* Simmons' [[CallBack funeral]] in episode 14.
--> '''Simmons:''' I never imagined that my death could somehow be worse than my life, but here it is. Bitchin'
** And before that, when Tex shot Lopez, who everyone thought was Simmons.
---> '''Donut:''' "We had so much left to talk about! Like our feelings and hopes and dreams! And why most of your insides are wires! How could you just explode like this?! We could've talked! You could've told me what was wrong! [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]"
---> '''Tex:''' "Uh, maybe I'll let that one live... It might demoralize the rest of them."
---> '''Tucker:''' "... Good idea."
---> '''Tex:''' "C'mon, let's pack it in."
---> '''Tucker:''' "Does anyone feel really, really dirty about this? And not the good kind of really, really dirty?"
* York seems to be getting a lot of these:
--> '''York:''' (while hacking a door) Man, whoever designed this lock is a genius.
--> ''(alarm goes off)''
--> '''Carolina:''' You were saying?
--> '''York:''' Okay, I take that back. Whoever designed this lock is an asshole.
* Wash saying his [[CatchPhrase Catch Phrase]] in reaction to the bouncy gun. And then getting tackled before he can finish.
--> '''Wash:''' "What the hell? It bounces? Who designs a gun that bounces? This is the worst gun ever. Of all -''oomph!''"
* [[ItMakesSenseinContext Carolina kicking Maine out the window.]]
** The two guards as Maine falls behind them.
** Followed by Maine taking out his frustration (along with his new Brute Shot) on some poor mooks. [[PhraseCatcher Wash and York]] ''almost'' felt sorry for them.
* "What the fuck is with [[PyroManiac this guy]]?"
** What makes that scene even better is that you have the badass action music in the background and Shark Face preparing to fight Carolina and Wash. Then the camera cuts to Wash saying the above quote, and the music abruptly cuts off at the same time.
** Hell, ''everything'' Wash says during Episode 15 is a FunnyMoment.
** During an [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome freefall battle]], after a jetpack-equipped Tex has just knocked him and the package into the Pelican
--> '''Wash:''' [[ButtMonkey "Oww..."]]
** Later as they are flying off, Tex is examining her now useless jetpack:
--> '''Wash:''' "So... jetpacks huh?"
--> Tex jumps out of the Pelican (without the jetpack)
--> '''Wash:''' "[[UnusuallyUninterestingSight ...That was interesting.]]"
** York's reaction to Maine's BigDamnHeroes moment was pure hilarity, with a side order of Awesome.
--> ''"Are we in a'' '''''car??!!"'''''
* Episode 16: Sarge's plan to save the world: [[InsaneTrollLogic appropriately entitled]] [[Film/TheCore "Sarge's plan to kick]] [[ShoutOut the planet's ass."]]
* York's one-liners in episode 17.
--> "Would you quit throwing shit?!"
--> "Man, I've got to quit jumping off stuff today."
** [[ButtMonkey Maine]] gets beat around so much in this episode it becomes ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice hilarious]]''.
* Grif's plan to get the Blues to make a bomb for him since he's too lazy to do it himself. [[GoneHorriblyRight It works a little too well.]]
** [[spoiler:Well, until it turns out it was a dud. [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything I swear, this never happened before]].]]
* Sarge gives us BehindTheBlack, with a giant excavator that nobody notices until he points it out.
** TWO! Two giant excavators! [[Series/SesameStreet Ah-ah-ah!]]
* The finale to Season 9 gives us this:
--> '''[[spoiler:Epsilon!]]Simmons''': [[spoiler:[[CloudCuckoolander Caboose]] is... {{God}}?]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext I guess that makes sense now that I think about it]]. Sure explains the fuck out of the [[EverythingsBetterWithPlatypi platypus]]."
* "I know how to lift, jackass. I've been carrying this whole team since I got here.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Season 10]]
* As the AwesomeMusic starts up during the introduction to Season 10 as [[spoiler:the Director is having F.I.L.I.S. drill a hole through an Insurrectionist ship with her WaveMotionGun... [[KickTheDog with York still in there]], York has this to say to [[ArtificialIntelligence Delta]]]]:
-->'''York''': "Why [[TheSpock you]] green little cockbite."
** The context is funny too, thanks to Delta's VA's knack for somehow sounding snarky/smartass and emotionless at the same time.
-->'''York''': Umm, what target is locked? What's the target? Delta, what are they doing?
-->'''Delta''': Taking more direct measures.
-->'''York''': You knew about this?
-->'''Delta''': ({{beat}}) ...Possibly...
** "[[NonSequiturThud Hey, give me back my leprechaun!]]" Cue York kicking the chair at the guard, knocking him out a second time.
* Church's TranquilFury at finding out that Blue Team's given Wash his clothes, his identity, and has been throwing Wash birthday parties using his name. Ouch.
-->'''Caboose''': I wouldn't really use the word "replace"... but there's no word for "take over for you and make everything better almost immediately", [[NoExceptYes so we just say "replace"]].
** Also, almost immediately after:
-->'''Church''': I think I just got dumped by Caboose! This is un-fucking-believable!\\
'''Caboose''': [[ItsNotYouItsMe Yeah, it's not me.]] [[InvertedTrope It's you.]]
* The Insurrectionist Guard from Episode 1 floating in Episode 2 in a '''''sitting pose with his chair in space.''''' That is all.
* Episode 2, one soldier is carrying a bunch of shotguns in his arms and accidentally drops one, which goes off and kills the guy next to him. The best part is his comment after:
--> '''Soldier''': Not again. Sorry about that.
* Poor Wash just can't catch a break [[ContinuityNod when it comes to]] [[CarFu cars]].
--> '''Wash''': Why do cars hate me?
* This entire conversation in Episode 3:
-->'''Sarge''': Let's just say you seem to know [[LampshadeHanging a lot of women]] with [[HairTriggerTemper quick tempers]]. [[TheMasochismTango You got a fetish or something?]]\\
'''Epsilon!Church''': [[CasualKink ...yeah, I guess you could say... apparently.]]\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Sarge''': ...wanna talk about it?\\
'''Epsilon!Church''': ... no.\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Caboose''': Wanna talk about it with--?\\
'''Epsilon!Church''': ''No!''
* Caboose doesn't understand that "sync" means "are we clear" from [[spoiler:Carolina]], so he lists other kitchen items, like the refrigerator and the easy-bake oven.
* Simmons following driving laws, even in a firefight.
-->'''Sarge''': Simmons, only you could make a high speed chase ''boring''.
-->'''Simmons''': [[InsultBackfire Thank you, sir!]]
* In order to bring Epsilon!Church along, they put him in Tucker's armor like any other AI. He claims that [[HandsomeLech Tucker's]] storage unit is so "disgusting" that he had to delete 50 gigabytes worth of data just so he could fit.
-->'''Tucker:''' You didn't delete my "Home Movies" folder, did you?\\
'''Church:''' And that brings me to my second complaint...
* One of Blood Gulch!Church's {{catchphrase}}s turns out to be inherited from the director himself.
-->'''Director Church:''' (After [[CoolShip The Mother of Invention]] is hit with a surprise attack) Son of a [[CurseCutShort b-]]
* Also, there's Carolina's...[[GroinAttack method]] of bringing Wash to safety.
* Speaking of Wash, his growing obsession with [[NoodleIncident "what happened to Georgia."]]
--> '''Wash:''' Would someone please tell me what happened to Georgia?!
--> '''York:''' Dude, YouDoNOTWantToKnow.
--> '''Wash:''' I really do, though!
* Episode 5 starts out with Wash and York staring attentively at North's groin, followed by a barrage of [[DoubleEntendre Double Entendres]].
--> '''Wash:''' I expected it to be... bigger.
--> '''York:''' Why? You've seen mine. It's small too.
--> '''North:''' Hey Wash? Quit staring. You're making it nervous.
--> '''--And--'''
--> '''North:''' Besides, you better get used to it. You're gonna have one of your own soon enough.
* North commenting in a pleasant, completely straight voice that "[York and Wash are] all friends of mine. [[WithFriendsLikeThese For reasons beyond my comprehension.]]"
* Tucker's commentary on [[spoiler:Carolina]] and Washington's reanalysis of Maine's corruption is hilarious, as he keeps trying to get his trademark "Bow Chicka Bow Wow" in...and gets shot at for it when he does.
-->'''Tucker:''' Bow chicka bow WHOA! Same team, same team!
** And then he keeps talking, and she keeps shooting, and even Epsilon gets in on the action (bow chicka bow wow).
-->'''Epsilon:''' [[BerserkButton Jesus, you're worse than Tex!]]
-->''*bang*''
-->'''Tucker:''' That one's on you.
* [[spoiler:Wyoming's]] face (he has a [[BadassMustache MUSTACHE]]!) is hilarious. Seriously, he looks like the kind of guy who likes tying damsels to train tracks!
* The post-Washington conversation interactions with [[spoiler:Carolina]] in Episode 6. First, Caboose accidentally hits on her... then Grif agrees with Simmons about her being bad news, leading to this answer from Sarge.
-->'''Sarge''': Normally, I would agree with [[ProfessionalButtKisser Simmons]]. But that would mean that I would agree with [[ButtMonkey Grif]]! Therefore, I will simply grunt ambiguously. ''(does so)''
* Wash eating inside his helmet (complete with magic changing fruit!) because Delta told him it would make him "more efficient". Apparently pre-Epsilon Wash it not only naive and innocent, he's also gullible as a fish.
** That's not the best bit - not only is he trying to eat inside his helmet, he is implied to be ''succeeding'', if the changing food is anything to go by. He is eating entire fruits in between cuts away from him. Looks like it ''is'' more efficient after all.
* That seagull that gets shot in Episode 7 is standing on [[spoiler:Wyoming's ''head'']].
** For further entertainment, read the milk carton floating nearby.
* Wash freaking out over 479's "cut the engines and plummet" method of arrival.
-->'''Washington:''' Please don't say "crashing"!
** [[TheStoic Delta]] is calmer, but still thinks ahead to ''make a backup of himself''. 479 calls him out on it.
** And, of course, Carolina and York teasing Wash as they're falling:
-->'''Washington:''' I think I'm gonna be sick!
-->'''Carolina:''' Y'know, Wash, these suits are supposed to eliminate all waste. You could probably throw up in your helmet, and it would take care of it.
-->'''York:''' Yeah, you should test that.
-->'''Washington:''' You two are assholes!
* This conversation between [[VitriolicBestBuds Tucker and Epsilon]] in Episode 8.
-->'''[[LovableSexManiac Tucker]]''': I tried everything I can to get some info out of her. I tried hitting on her, I tried sleeping with her, I tried making out with her-\\
'''Epsilon''': [[SarcasmMode Sounds like a complete effort.]]\\
'''Tucker''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Dude, no kidding!]] I used the whole playbook! I even used my best pick-up line: "[[SoBadItsGood hey baby, did you fall from heaven]], [[CrossesTheLineTwice cause I've always wanted to bone an angel]]!"\\
'''Epsilon''': Tucker, be honest. [[UrbanLegendLoveLife Have you ever had sex with anything]] [[NeverLiveItDown besides an alien?]]\\
'''Tucker''': [[LampshadeHanging Church, the more important question here is:]] [[NotHelpingYourCase do you know any girls who aren't complete bitches, that won't sleep with me?]]\\
'''Epsilon''': *laughs* Sorry, dude. That seems to be all I have in my life.\\
'''Tucker''': [[WithFriendsLikeThese You're like the worst wingman ever]].\\
'''Caboose''': [[BorrowedCatchphrase Of all time.]]
* Two guards at the enemy base quote the ArcWords before the Freelancers arrive.
-->'''Guard 1:''' Hey.
-->'''Guard 2:''' What?
-->'''Guard 1:''' You ever wonder why we're- *cue ship*
* At one point in episode 9, Caboose becomes fixated on the trap Tucker said the Reds might be planning for them. Then came the topic of finding out what [[spoiler:Carolina]]'s goals are.
-->'''Church:''' We need to find out exactly what [[spoiler:Carolina]]'s up to, and why she isn't telling us anything.
-->'''Caboose:''' Okay! I will go ask her! Oh--ey--ya--I promise not to bring up the trap.
-->'''Church:''' No, Caboose, look! Just... Don't.
-->'''Caboose:''' Okay, fine. What would you like me to ask her?
-->'''Tucker:''' You can go ask her if she has the hots for me. I think I felt an emotional connection the last time she hit me.
-->'''Caboose:''' [[TooDumbToLive Tell her that you like to make]] [[CloudCuckooLander an emotional]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint hot connection]] [[InnocentInnuendo with her trap.]] Got it.
-->'''Tucker:''' Oh, that's even better!
* [[TheyFightCrime "Hover Church can also solve crimes."]]
** For context, Caboose is referring to the time when Church was installed in the Monitor (which, of course, hovers). A few seconds later, It's suggested that Church be installed in a Mongoose.
--->'''Caboose:''' You're going to solve so many crimes.
* Sarge 's 'truce' talk with the blues.
-->'''Sarge:''' "It's about our mutual friend/enemy/companion.Or Friendenemapanion for short."
* Epsilon is not happy about being installed in the Mongoose.
-->'''Tucker:''' How do you feel?
-->'''Epsilon:''' Like running over each and every one of you.
-->'''Tucker:''' [[ButForMeItWasTuesday So, about like normal.]]
-->'''Epsilon:''' Pretty much, yeah.
** He's also less than impressed with Tucker's attempt at optimism (and with Caboose being ... well, Caboose):
-->'''Tucker:''' You can ''literally'' pick up chicks now!
-->'''Epsilon:''' Yeah, because every girl dreams of settling down with [[{{Transformers}} Optimus Pr]][[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud HONK]]! [beat] [[TranquilFury Caboose]]... don't do that.
-->'''Caboose:''' Sorry.
* Sarge's song wishing for Grif's slow, painful death, and the fact that Simmons had subconsciously learned it in his sleep.
-->'''Sarge Singing (tune of "When You Wish Upon A Star")''': I just wish that Grif was dead...
-->'''Simmons joins in''': ...put a bullet through his head...
-->'''Grif:''' ''What?''
* [[spoiler:Carolina]]'s slowly building fury as she details [[WhatAnIdiot exactly how stupid]] the BGC were for losing the Monitor unit.
-->'''[[spoiler:Carolina]]''': How can you just leave an ''ancient alien artifact'' on the floor of a '''warehouse'''?
* After [[spoiler:[[TookALevelInKindness Taking A Level In Kindness]], Carolina]] making a DoubleEntendre joke to Epsilon about "picking her up" is hilarious, especially in light of [[TearJerker the rest of]] [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming the episode]].
-->'''[[spoiler:Carolina:]]''' Well, you'll have plenty of time on our ride back.\\
'''Epsilon:''' [[ChivalrousPervert Yeah, well about that- hey is there anyway we could get back to the others that doesn't involve me carrying you?]]\\
'''[[spoiler:Carolina:]]''' [[DefrostingIceQueen Haha, wow Church.]] I didn't know an AI unit could get so easily embarassed. Tell you what, just tell your friends that you [[DoubleEntendre "picked" me up]]. How does that sound?\\
'''Epsilon:''' Remind me to never let you talk to [[LovableSexManiac Tucker]] again.
* Episode 13 features Grif and Simmons having a CallBack conversation about overtime pay and 401(k) matching. Simmons, naturally, not getting ''any'' despite regularly working 60 hours a week.
* York trolling Wash about the side effects of implantation.
-->'''Washington:''' You ever get [headaches] after you earned Delta?
-->'''York:''' At first. They went away pretty quick, though. The other side effects were way worse.
-->'''Washington:''' [[OhCrap What other side effects?]]
-->'''York:''' You know: [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Bleeding from the eyes, ringing ears... inverted penis...]]
-->'''Washington:''' Inverted ''what?!''
* Episode 15 features the glorious return of [[spoiler:Donut! After almost three whole seasons! And he's got a sustainable garden! And a scare-Lopez]]. Oh, and Doc's back, too!
** Sarge is less than pleased about it, though.
-->'''Sarge:''' Simmons, commence operation "Point My Gun At Doc".
-->'''Simmons:''' That was code for "point my gun at Grif".
-->'''Sarge:''' Oh. Well, then commence operation "Point My Gun At Grif".
-->'''Simmons:''' [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin That one's pretty much what it sounds like.]]
* This little gem in episode 16:
-->'''Grif''': Hey, Simmons, when you say [[InnocentInnuendo Donut nailed Lopez]] to a board?\\
'''Simmons''': I mean with nails.\\
'''Grif''': Okay, had to ask.\\
'''Simmons''': No, no, I understand. I should've been clearer. That's ''my'' fault.
** Grif may do nothing, but he takes pride in doing it ''well''.
--->'''[[spoiler:Carolina:]]''' [[SurroundedByIdiots You might be the worst soldiers I've ever seen.]]
--->'''Grif:''' Hey, I take offense at that! [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne What do you mean, 'might'?]]
* This little one from Episode 18.
-->'''[[MasterOfUnlocking York:]]''' (having accidentally set off the [[spoiler:''Mother Of Invention'']] alarm) [[ThatCameOutWrong I swear, this never happens to me.]]\\
'''[[DefectorFromDecadence Texas:]]''' I'm sure you say that to all the ladies.
** Also, this from the same episode.
--->'''Caboose:''' Church! [[spoiler:You're big again! What has she been ''feeding'' you?]]
** Caboose and his [[FanPreferredCouple Fan Shipping]]:
--->'''[[spoiler:Carolina]]:''' Listen up! We've got big news.\\
'''Caboose''': *Gasp!* You and Wash are taking your relationship to the next level. I knew it. The writing was all over the walls.
* The incredibly dramatic and heartwrenching episode 19 still managed to have a couple laugh-out-loud moments.
** The entire Wyoming and York scene. [[spoiler:A KnockKnockJoke battle, of all things.]]
--->'''Wyoming:''' It's like idiots in stereo.
** Also, Tex's comment on York's distraction (fire missiles from the [[MotherShip Mother of Invention]], into the [[HoistByHisOwnPetard Mother of Invention]])
--->'''Tex:''' You call that big?! Men.
* In Episode 20, there's quite a few.
** The Reds and Blues are back at it in Valhalla.
--->'''Tucker:''' All right. You know the drill.\\
'''Simmons:''' Do we have to?\\
'''Wash:''' That depends. How badly do you want your flag back?\\
''Simmons looks at Grif.''\\
'''Grif:''' Don't look at me! It's your turn.\\
'''Simmons:''' ''*sighs*'' [[CallBack I would just like]] [[MythologyGag to let everyone know that I suck.]] [[CallBack And that I'm a girl, and I want to kiss all the boys.]]
** Also, the shot showing all the stuff the Blues captured from the Reds. It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it, but there's the banana loaf Doc and Donut made the Reds.
** Doc asks if the others want to remember the good times they've had. They... kinda don't.
--->'''Tucker:''' The "good times"?! I was stranded in the desert!\\
'''Simmons:''' We were almost killed!\\
'''Sarge:''' I learned my entire military career was a lie!\\
'''Donut:''' And I got ''shot!''\\
'''Wash:''' ''[[NotSoInnocentWhistle *looks away and whistles innocently*]]''
** The GilliganCut between the Blood Gulch guys and the UNSC pilots.
--->'''Pilot''': Surrender now! You are outnumbered! Uh, well... technically you're not really outnumbered. I think we've got the same number... uh, like one-to-one... [[TooDumbToLive We've got airships! Fast, easy to pilot airships. Which we will now land, in order to take you to jail!]]\\
'''Sarge and Wash trade "are you thinking what I'm thinking" glances, then point their guns. GilliganCut to the Guys flying away with the ships.'''\\
'''Caboose''': Goodbye, people we stole these planes from!\\
'''Pilot''': Mother''fucker''!
*** Even funnier in that [[HeyItsThatVoice it's the same pilot they stole a ship from at the end of Revelation]] (the one yelling for them to come back so he wouldn't lose his job).
** Grif has the [[spoiler:Meta's [[BayonetYa "kni]][[GrenadeLauncher fle"]]]] still from Revelation, and has taken to [[ICallItVera calling it]] [[spoiler:the Grifshot]]. The following conversation about it ensues.
--->'''Tucker:''' What were you going to do, [[LazyBum eat off it?]]\\
'''Grif:''' Uh, actually, dickhead? I asked [[spoiler:Donut]] to [[PricelessPaperweight mount it for me]] [[BattleTrophy at the base]].\\
'''[[spoiler:[[AmbiguouslyGay Donut]]]]:''' [[spoiler:[[InnocentInnuendo And you know I can't resist a good mounting!]]]]\\
'''Washington:''' [[LetMeGetThisStraight You've been hiding one of the most advanced pieces of technology]] ''[[LetMeGetThisStraight known to man]]''... [[LetMeGetThisStraight so you can]] ''[[PricelessPaperweight hang it in your living room]]''?\\
'''Grif:''' ... well, [[LampshadeHanging when you say it like that, it sound dumb.]]\\
'''Washington:''' [[WhatAnIdiot That's because it]] ''[[WhatAnIdiot is]]'' [[WhatAnIdiot dumb!]]
* Episode 21 is mostly pure awesome, but it has it's moments.
** [[spoiler:Carolina improvising an EpicFlail with a grenade and her GrapplingHookPistol. It wouldn't be so funny if the music weren't basically carnival music while she does so.]]
** [[spoiler:Take Church trying to provide tactical backup to Carolina during the first part of the fight with the Tex copies:]]
-->'''[[spoiler:Church]]''': [[spoiler:...seeing this many [[PsychoExGirlfriend ex-girlfriends]] in one room kinda [[OhCrap has me terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought]].]]
-->'''[[spoiler:Carolina]]''': [[spoiler: Well, ''[[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan snap out of it]]!'' I need you!]]
-->'''[[spoiler:Church]]''': [[spoiler: Need me for wh--? *Cue SuperSpeed* --WHOOAAAAAA!!!]]
** [[spoiler: During and immediately after Caboose's FoeTossingCharge:]]
--->'''[[spoiler:Caboose]]:''' [[spoiler:MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE. AND I. HATE. TAXES!"]]\\
'''Grif:''' It's "Texas", you idiot! \\
'''[[spoiler:Caboose]]:''' [[spoiler:THAT TOO.]]
** [[spoiler:Grif, yet again, ends up getting [[GroinAttack hit in the nuts]] repeatedly by the Tex copies, to the surprise of no one. Even funnier because he ''just'' managed to avoid one by the timely intervention of Carolina, only to be hit by a completely different Tex. And off screen, while Epsilon was talking to Tex, he was hit with a GroinAttack by [[UpToEleven twenty Tex copies at the same time]]. Tucker thinks that Epsilon not stopping it before that was still WorthIt, though.]]
* In episode 22, we finally learn the identity of the Mysterious Blue Guy. [[spoiler:Not only is he Flowers, as camp as ever, but he was also Agent Florida - apparently, the Counselor had fun fabricating the [[NoodleIncident "Poor Florida" incident]].]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:[=PSAs=] and Other Videos]]
* The end of the "Real Life vs. The Internet" PSA, where they come to politics:
--> '''--REAL LIFE--'''
--> '''Church:''' Look, that's just the way I feel about it.
--> '''Sarge:''' Well I disagree, but I respect your opinion.
--> '''--INTERNET--'''
--> '''Church:''' You deserve to DIE! Die and go to hell and be burned!
--> '''Sarge:''' Oh, yeah?! Well, I hope you get raped! Twice! Maybe then you feel different! Jerk!
--> '''Grif:''' We don't need to find any weapons of mass destruction! We just need to WANT to find them! That's the way it works!
--> '''Simmons:''' I VOTED FOR NADER! I HATE EVERYBODY!
--> '''Doc:''' Would you like to change your home page to moveon.org?
--> '''Donut:''' Politics make me soooo horny! Check out my webcam picks at presidentialsluts.com!
** Or when they discuss checking your mail:
--> '''--REAL LIFE--'''
--> '''Church:''' [[BillBillJunkBill Bills, bills, bills... coupon. Great.]]
--> '''--INTERNET--'''
--> '''Simmons:''' Pardon me, my friend, but I am Nigirean Roylty, and I need you to send me money. Please ignore the fact that I can’t spell "Nigerian." Or "royalty."
--> '''Doc:''' Would you like to refinance your home? Mortgage rates have never been lower! 
--> '''Grif:''' Hey, Church! We have all the filthiest sluts on the internet. They’re hopped up on herbal Viagra and waiting for you!
--> '''Sarge:''' WOULD YOU LIKE A BIGGER PENIS?! WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE IT? I COULD SUGGEST SOME PLACES!
--> '''Doc:''' You could put it in escrow! 
** Earlier in the vid is Gustavo Sorola's (Simmons' VA) favorite quote of the series:
--> '''Simmons:''' I hate you! And I hate the bands you like!
* See also the "best of" collections for the cast: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAjyJrZMaWk Sarge]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSOvY7MN17E Church]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbFoilZ48Wo Simmons]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ve5MhZSbTE Tucker]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8CuY0i2v_4 Grif]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fj-U7SA-oI Tex]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTIoqmoxPQc Donut]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73113lua7fw Sister]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6kqENaHlxU Doc/O'Malley]], and of course, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pSglMxWqfo Caboose]].
* One word: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqWtbQdA6o4 Grifball]].
** Two other words: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5ef9xiA61M Gay Robot]].
* The "Game On" PSA. ''"Can we stop that fucking horn already!"''
* Everyone was busy during the "Columbus Day" PSA... so they let ''Caboose'' host it. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IsJfFDQpgY Epic Hilarity Ensues.]]
* The Valentine's Day PSA. Caboose mourns over celebrating without Church and remembers their "[[HoYay tradition]]".
--> '''Caboose''': Hey Church! Happy Valentine--
--> '''Church''': Get the fuck away from me.
* Outtakes from [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E0eONh1SE4&feature=related Reconstruction.]] Notable moments are "AUTOBOTS, ''TRANSFORM!''" (followed by his absurdly deep "OH MY GOD"), [[OohMeAccentsSlipping Scottish!Wash]], and the Meta [[BeatingADeadPlayer teabagging.]]
** Not to mention Church's ''terrible'' singing of [[KatyPerry "I Kissed a Girl."]]
* Church attempting to describe Sergeant Johnson's [[MemeticBadass Memetic Badassitude]] in the last ''Halo 3: ODST'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6wNn5DhaF4 promotional video.]]
--> '''Church:''' Sergeant Johnson is as tough as they come. They say he's a strong as an ox, and as agile as... a... smaller ox.
--> '''Sarge:''' What?
--> '''Church:''' He moves like a whisper, that you only say to the wind at midnight.
--> '''Simmons:''' Why would you do that? That doesn't make any sense.
--> '''Church:''' He's as cunning as a fox, taking a... pottery class at a... Ivy League university... that accepts foxes!
--> '''Grif:''' Wow. You're not very good at analogies, are you?
* From the Sixth Anniversary PSA:
--> '''Sarge:''' Why are you still in character?
--> '''Lopez:''' [[MethodActing Don't Fuck with my Method.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNqfskP72Nw The Fire Safety PSA]] in all of its glory.
--> "You may be asking yourself: what is fire? If you're asking that, it's because you're an idiot. You'll probably ask things like 'What am the sky?' and 'How does eat food?' Even cavemen knew what fire was, you dumbass."
* In their Olympics PSA, Sarge gets the idea to give medals of ''enriched uranium'' to the losers.
* "What I Did On My Summer Vacation.": [[HilarityEnsues Caboose gets caught up in the Halo: Reach campaign]].
** "Don't touch any buttons." "...Touch."
** In Dr. Halsey's introductory cutscene:
--> '''Dr Halsey:''' Do you have it? (referring to the package)
-->'''Caboose:''' No, you won't let go of it.
-->'''Dr Halsey:''' Say the words please.
-->'''Caboose:''' The words please.
-->'''Jun:''' What?
* The Blood Gulch team plays [[http://roosterteeth.com/archive/?id=3633 Firefight.]]
** A bonus is that Doc is reunited with [[spoiler:Omega]] for his scene.
--->'''Doc''': I haven't had a [[WorstAid killing spree]] [[NoodleIncident since]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice my last residency!]]
** Pretty much everything Church does.
--->'''Church:''' That was a sniper kill, [[ExactWords I used]] [[PistolWhip the sniper rifle.]]
--->'''Church:''' ''(after a highly successful [[StuffBlowingUp ordinance blast]])'' [[BlatantLies Hey Tucker, look how many guys I killed with the sniper rifle!]]
** Also Caboose.
---> '''Caboose:''' [[TankGoodness Tank, Tank, Tank, I have a tank.]]
--->...
--->'''Caboose:''' You look sad, [[StuffBlowingUp have a free grenade.]]
--->...
--->'''Caboose:''' [[StickyBomb They're sticky!]]
* Donut's ImageSong [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8R-B7efoHs Donut: The Musical]] will never not be funny.
* The ''Higgs Bozos'' PSA has Sarge's idea of a scientific demonstration, followed by [[spoiler: [[DumbassHasAPoint Caboose going on a lengthy and somewhat eloquent speech about the nature of knowledge]], closing with the thought that "People will always look up at the sky, and just [[ArcWords wonder why we're here]]". Then he shouts "WATER BISON POWERS ACTIVATE!" and runs off at super speed. Simmons and Sarge's reactions, both to the speech and Caboose's exit, seal the deal.]]
* During the PSA's released to announce Halo4's release date, Sarge and the Reds are trying to keep the release date secret from the Blues so they won't know to pre-order. The camera then cuts to Tucker and Church, who then casually reveal that they already knew the release date and have pre-ordered. Also, Sarge's song about the date so that they remember.
* The Gadgets PSA, providing a satire against how new seeming gadgets get replaced by even newer ones.
--> [BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ]
--> '''Simmons:''' Ah, Jesus!
--> '''Church:''' What's that noise?!
--> '''Simmons:''' It's my cellphone. Donut must have borrowed it. He's always overclocking the vibrate setting and [[{{ADateWithRosiePalms}} calling himself]].
--> '''Church:''' [[{{Squick}} Gross...]]
* The Voting Fever PSA; it's a CallBack to their ''Halo 4'' announce date videos; with Grif and Simmons trying to trick Sarge into thinking they were out to vote. Sarge forces them to do a pro-voting musical number; with a chorus of [=ODSTs=] joining in and Grif having no clue about how elections work. To top it all off, it's revealed Sarge used the song as a distraction to steal their place in line to buy ''Halo 4''.
* York's ImageSong "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YrfyeurqnI Come On Carolina]]", where he complains she's "always being such a bitch" and needs to "stop kicking me", and suggests "playing ''[[BreakingTheFourthWall Halo 4]]'' naked" and "having babies [[spoiler:with green eyes]]".
----
[[/folder]]