* Raymond hilariously imitating the grunts, moans, and other sounds of sex while he wanders into Charlie and Susanna's room...''while they're doing it.'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Comedy. Freaking. Gold.]]
-->'''Susanna:''' ...I think Raymond is in the room.
* Raymond's serious injury list. "Squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck in 1988."
* This exchange:
-->'''Charlie:''' RAYMOND, AM I USING YOU?!
-->'''Raymond:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]]
-->'''Charlie:''' SHUT UP! HE IS ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM A HALF HOUR AGO!
* "Bet your butt."
* "97x, Bam! The future of rock and roll."
* "I get my boxer shorts at K-Mart in Cincinnati."
* "Uh-oh, fart."
* "I'm an excellent driver."
* "I had you in there, Ray! You were in there! The defendant, the plaintiff, you had it all. They are in there making legal history. Legal! History!"