[[caption-width-right:350:Guess you could call this a [[IncrediblyLamePun Flitscuit]].]]
!!The Disney film
* From the first few minutes, after John rescues a crewmember - namely Thomas - on the maiden voyage to America:
-->'''Crewmen #1:''' Well ''done'', laddie! Well ''done!''\\
'''John:''' ''[swinging down from the mast inbetween the two crewmen]'' But of course. You'd have done the same thing for me.\\
'''Crewmen #1, 2, and 3:''' ''[beat, then awkwardly]'' Oh, ''sure!'' Of ''course!'' Absolutely!
* This little exchange:
-->'''Ratcliffe:''' We shall give them a proper English greeting.\\
'''Wiggins:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint OOH! Gift baskets!]]
** "[[IronicEcho And he came so highly recommended.]]"
*** An alternate scene has Wiggins saying, "Ooh! I do so love a fracas!" He mimics shooting a gun with a soup ladle, until he trips and an axe barely misses him, before Ratcliffe says the above line.
*** Even funnier- in this alternate take, the axe was mere inches away from Wiggins' ''balls''. For a split second he looks absolutely terrified and can only chuckle nervously.
* John Smith's first meeting with Grandmother Willow.
-->'''John:''' Pocahontas, that tree is talking to me.\\
'''Pocahontas:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Then you should talk back.]] Say something.\\
'''John:''' What do you say to a ''tree?''
* Most of Wiggins and Ratcliffe's dialogues, but this one in particular:
-->'''Ratcliffe:''' Wiggins, ''why'' do you think those insolent heathens attacked us?\\
'''Wiggins:''' [[CaptainObvious Because we invaded their land and cut down their trees and dug up their earth?]] [[note]]This, apart from Kocoum's men only attacking because the settlers did so first, is the *real* reason why, but the former is too stubborn and fixated on their non-existent gold to admit it.[[/note]]
* Nakoma's reaction to Pocahontas jumping off a cliff. And when Pocahontas hits the water she grumpily says "show off".
-->'''Nakoma:''' Pocahontas, your father's back! Come down here! ''[as Pocahontas dives off the top of the cliff]'' No ... not that ... way.\\
''[Then, when she can't find Pocahontas in the water]''\\
'''Nakoma:''' Pocahontas? Are you all right? Well, you'd better be all right, because I'm not coming in after--''(Pocahontas surfaces from the water and overturns the canoe)'' YOU-HOO-HOO!\\
''[cut to both of them under the canoe; Nakoma surfaces]''\\
'''Nakoma:''' [[GrowingUpSucks Don't you think we're a -splut- little old for these games?]]\\
''[Pocahontas spits water in her face. They laugh and splash each other.]''
* Meeko when he jumps down the cliff after Pocahontas. He goes from confident to REALLY scared in a second when he realizes too little too late that he can't swim and it's hilarious.
* Meeko's expressions while Pocahontas is singing "Just Around the Riverbend", especially when she goes down the waterfall.
* [[AudienceSurrogate Meeko and Flit's]] [[JawDrop reaction]] to Pocahontas suddenly managing to learn English.
* Grandmother Willow's scene with John Smith.
-->'''Grandmother Willow:''' ''[on John Smith]'' He has a good soul. And he's handsome, too.\\
'''John:''' I like her.
* This dialogue.
-->'''Lon:''' Come on, Ben, it's just a little fun.\\
'''Ben:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, sure, we're having loads of fun, right?]] Look at us--no gold, no food, while Ratcliffe sits up in his tent all day, happy as a clam.\\
''[[[DescriptionCut Cut to Ratcliffe]]]''\\
'''Ratcliffe:''' I'm doomed!
* And this dialogue between Ratcliffe, Ben, and Lon.
-->'''Ratcliffe:''' You there, where's Captain Smith?\\
'''Lon:''' Well, he's...gone.\\
'''Ben:''' Aye, your singing must've scared him off.\\
'''Ratcliffe:''' Well, then go get him, for heaven's sake!\\
'''Lon:''' What if we run into the Indians?\\
'''Ratcliffe:''' That's what ''[[SarcasmMode guns]]'' are for! Now, arm yourselves and get moving!
* This bit:
-->'''Grandmother Willow:''' [[{{Pun}} My bark is worse than my bite.]]\\
''[cue [[AnimalReactionShot two owls exchanging snarky glances]]]''
* Ben and Lon when Grandmother Willow hides John and Pocahontas from view.
-->''(Grandmother Willow lifts her root and trips Ben and Lon)''\\
'''Ben:''' Watch your feet, ya big oaf!\\
'''Lon:''' It wasn't me! It was the tree!\\
'''Ben:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, of course! The tree just felt like liftin' its roots andľ]] ''(They turn to see the root lower itself into the ground. They are clearly freaked out)'' ...Let's get outta here!\\
''(Grandmother Willow slaps Ben and Lon in the butts with her vines)''\\
'''Both''': OW!\\
'''Ben''': RUN!\\
'''Lon''': But what about Smith?\\
'''Ben''': He's a big lad! He can take care of himself!
* When John Smith is trying to show Pocahontas what a handshake is. He has his hand held out and the expression on her face as she says "Nothing's happening".
* John accidentally offending Pocahontas and trying to stop her from rowing her canoe away - so she [[TakeAThirdOption climbs the tree to get away from him]].
** His DiggingYourselfDeeper, trying to say 'savage' is just a word for people who are uncivilised. The fact that Pocahontas delivers her line "like ''me''?" while hanging upside down from a tree branch makes it even better.
* When John approaches the bush where Pocahontas is hidden, Flit angrily flows out and attacks him. As John dodges him the rest of his biscuits fall from his sack and Meeko eats them all.
-->'''John''': Hey! Wh-- What? Watch out. What? Get-- No. get-- Uh, look out...
* John's attempt to break the fight bewtween Percy and Meeko.
-->'''John''': It's all right, Percy, he ''[Meeko]'' is a friend. ''[Percy won't calm down.]'' BAD BAD DOG ! SIT !
* When Meeko steals the compass.
-->'''Pocahontas:''' Meeko!\\
'''John''' [shrugs] It's all right, he can't hurt it. [Meeko bangs it against a rock] HEY!
* Flit's constant attempts to peck at John, which annoy him. On the final attempt to peck him, John was prepared and traps Flit's beak in a biscuit (as pictured above), which he then tosses. The indignant hummingbird then makes the mistake of looking upwards while the biscuit was still stabbed into his beak, causing it to slide down and crush him under the weight.