* The entire opening sequence with Bill Hader as a soldier who is assigned to test an experimental strain of marijuana to see if the U.S. government needs to legalize it.
* Dale verbally assaulting a teacher of his girlfriend's school.
* Dale and Saul's paranoid stoned scene in the woods, which has them running away in fright from absolutely nothing. Then there's Dale's [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl high-pitched scream]] as Saul suddenly bumps into his car after he gets into it.
* Dale and Saul's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DD8QRsms1s hilariously clumsy fight with Red]]. The fight starts with Saul and Dale ramming down the door to Red's bathroom, causing the latter to smash his head into the bathroom sink, destroying it completely. Then there's Red gaining the upper hand with Dale:
--> '''Red''': Where do you think you're going, Mr. Wiggles? Come on! ''(punches Dale in the ass)'' Get back here! Feisty!
--> '''Dale''': Saul, help me! Help me! He's punching my bum!
** And after Saul incapacitates Red with his bong:
--> '''Dale''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis This! Ends! NOOOOW!]]
--> [''slams Red's head into wall'']
--> '''Saul''': Oh, shit.
--> '''Dale''': Was that too much?
* Matheson’s random but gleeful little cheer, while waiting in the car to catch Saul and Dale.
--> '''Matheson''': This is so exciting!
* Almost everything said by Angie's dad.
-->You two assholes do exactly as I say, or else I'll take you outside and ''fuck you in the street!''\\
'''Dale:''' No! Don't fuck us anywhere!

-->'''Dad:''' [''As they're leaving the house''] Angie, you're a fucking idiot! I say that with love.
* The policewoman's comment about students having eyes as red as the devil's dick.
* Saul's UnwantedRescue of Dale from a cop gets a slushie spilled all over the windshield. Then he tries to drive off but he can't see a thing, so he tries to kick the glass away... and ends up getting his foot stuck in the windshield.
** When Saul stops the car in the expectation of Carol driving past him, she stops at the same time and begins firing. And when they drive off again, she ends up hitting a random bystander. [[EvenEvilHasStandards She yells a quick, sincere "SORRY!" to the bystander before she drives off again to chase the duo]].
* Dale giving a motivational speech to Red to encourage him to rescue Saul.
--> '''Red''': Man, I'm just into Buddhism, and I'm at peace with the fact that me, as this person, probably gonna not be around. Think about a hermit crab, okay? And it's a shell. It's like, they go from one shell to the next. And that's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells.
-->'''Dale''': Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back as a dragon. You'll come back as Jude Law, okay? Which would you rather be?
-->'''Red''': Maybe the anal bead, depending on who it belongs to.
-->'''Dale''': Belongs to me.
-->'''Red''': Then the dragon.
* Almost the entire final fight between Dale and Ted.
* Red comes back to save Dale and Saul, crashing his Daewoo Lanos through the barn and ramming into Matheson, killing him instantly. He gets out and blows off Matheson's foot.
** What sells it is Matheson's scream right before he is killed.
* In a moment that triples as a funny moment, an awesome moment, and a heartwarming moment, Dale carries the unconscious body of Saul from a burning building which is soon to explode. With no pants on.
* The entire epilogue where Dale, Saul, and Red wind the night down at a diner, all while stoned out of their fucking gourds, giggling like idiots over the dumbest things, including Red going unconscious and making it seem like he just died of his injuries, only for him to snap awake.