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* [[http://oglaf.com/skulls/ Skulls!]] Funny enough to get a ShoutOut in ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft.''
-->So... thirsty...
* In "Furniture", when Navaan and [[ItMakesSenseInContext a guy disguised as a statue]] are bound to chairs and held prisoners, she knocks herself and the guy over in an attempt to bite through his ropes, then shuffles over to him and bites off a part of his robe.
-->'''Statue:''' Are we escaping here or having sex?\\
'''Navaan:''' ''(mouth full of cock)'' Ffex. Leff difficulc.
* Beot. Did you just confuse Cthulhu?
* The Incense of Wisdom
-->'''Chemist 1:''' I've devised an "incense of bad decisions"!\\
'''Chemist 2:''' Why have you labelled it "incense of wisdom"?\\
'''Chemist 1:''' ...I don't know.
* The Fruitviking!
* [[http://www.oglaf.com/northerner/ Flatbear.]]
* [[http://www.oglaf.com/gorek/ Gorek the Magnanimous.]]
--> I would find him and I would forgive him. ''I would forgive the shit out of him.''
* [[http://www.oglaf.com/riteofpassage/ Rite of Passage.]] Gotta love a coming-of-age ritual that unabashedly evil.
* ''The Fucktopus!'' It's hard to be sure whether the sound effects (''sqlibba lubba libba floont'') or Greir's expressions are the jewel in this crown.
* [[http://www.oglaf.com/goldensongbird/ The Golden Songbird.]]
-->'''Thessaly:''' ''Titty shitting mother guzzling cock fuck cunt!''\\
'''Wall-Eyed Fox:''' Little princeling, why do you weep?\\
'''Thessaly:''' Who the ''fuck'' are you?
** Also:
-->"Aw, come on! You're so fucking easy to impress! Three-year-old children know how to talk!\\
"Let's just go ask a toddler for help!"
* [[http://www.oglaf.com/alsoelves/ Also, Elves.]]
* [[http://oglaf.com/labyrinth/ Labyrinth]]. [[DontExplainTheJoke It's his expression.]]
* [[http://oglaf.com/badfalcon/ "Bad falcon! Lazy!"]]
* [[http://oglaf.com/goodbehavior/2/ Higgledy-piggledy]].
* [[http://oglaf.com/branding/ Captain Cockstink]]
* "[[http://oglaf.com/roughtrade/ Hello. We are magical talking bear prostitutes.]]"
* Anything to do with "King Blowjob." ''Especially'' the Habeas Corpus storyline. We promise that it MakesSenseInContext:
-->'''King Blowjob:''' "We are a peaceful fellatiocracy. We need no knob ruckus."\\
'''Knobguy:''' "COCK RAMPAGE!"
** [[http://oglaf.com/gongs/ He returns.]]
* A fortuneteller has reduced her Tarot deck to "The Lovers" and "Death" for efficiency-- one doesn't want to waste a portentous moment on the Three of Cups or something. [[http://oglaf.com/cartomancy/ Three guesses what card the customer pulls]].
-->'''Fortuneteller:''' Fuck! How did...?!
* [[http://oglaf.com/justso/ The "Just So" stories that all explain phenomena of nature as the actions of "some guy."]]
-->"Some guy... stabbed me in the stomach."\\
"We've been through this -- that's your belly-button."
* The Rogue's Arsenal part three. "Swirling clouds of ink to confuse my enemies!"
* [[http://oglaf.com/amazonlinguistics/ Amazon Linguistics.]]
--> '''Amazon:''' Sluuuuut
* [[http://oglaf.com/muster/ Muster the troops.]] Poor Don... erm, Ruprecht.
* Vanka's [[FlatWhat expression]] when she finds out the fortress-owner's semen actually ''is'' priceless in ''Lapidary''.
* [[http://oglaf.com/merrymen/ Merry Men.]] Maybe Robin should have called them "the Pussy Gang" after all...
-->'''Robin Hood:''' ''Fuuuck!''\\
'''Little John:''' C'mon man- be merry. It's our thing!
* [[http://oglaf.com/groundwater/ The "Magical Wishing Vagina"]] (actually SFW). It doesn't want to talk about it.
** Also somehow the guy knows how a jism tastes. Let that sink in.
* The ending of [[http://oglaf.com/survivor/ Survivor]]. Kronar gets mocked to his face for "going soft" when he leaves a survivor to speak of his deeds... cut away to a couple of people wondering what could have caused such carnage.
-->'''Investigator 1:''' What could have done this?\\
'''Investigator 2:''' We'll never know for sure. No survivors. [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Even some of the trees have been stabbed.]]
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/2/ Son of Kronar.]] The unthinkable has happened. Kronar's son was born female. With a heavy heart, he casts the newborn into the wolf pit, only to find that she has ripped the wolves to pieces with her bare hands. The astonished Kronar, for the first time in his life, sheds a tear.
-->'''Kronar:''' ''She... is truly my son.''
* [[http://oglaf.com/pirated/ Sex Ed for Pirates.]]
* [[http://oglaf.com/moonshine/ "What I'm saying, kids, is never mess with a king who can dance."]]
* The Knobguy Saga. What happens when you have a cock that makes anything (read: any actual THING, including inanimate) orgasm instantly?
* Remains of the Day. Curse Spectre's maniacal laughter reveals that [[ComplexityAddiction the plan the whole time]] was evidently cursing a man so his jizz will magically land on the face of whoever he thinks of as he orgasms, so he thinks about Curse Spectre whenever he has sex, so he becomes sexually attracted to skulls, so he goes to an erotic club that caters to that fetish, so he'll discover that ''[[FauxHorrific it's severely overpriced]].''
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/gravity-masonry/ Gravity Loves Masonry]]. A monster working in a dungeon warns adventurers that a door is booby-trapped to drop a large amount of rocks on people who open it. When one adventurer doubts the generosity of the warning, the monster explains that he's the poor sap who has to reset the trap afterwards.
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/kibble/ Who DOESN'T like dogs?]]
* "Balcony" ends with a MatchmakerCrush, and [[https://www.oglaf.com/balcony/epilogue/ the epilogue]] has a hilarious BrickJoke. Apparently she didn't leave because [[ThatCameOutWrong she got offended at the matchmaker's slip-up--]]she was just [[CasualKink looking for her strap-on.]]
* "Associate Membership" has a blood cult using a HoneyTrap to find sacrifices -- free hot sex with the catch that anyone still engaged in the pleasure at sunrise becomes their victim (it's implied that they can cause the sun to rise early). Their latest victim turns out to be a vampire, who bursts into flames at dawn ''[[GroinAttack while inside one of the cultists]]''. Their solution? Offer [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking free garlic bread]] too.
** And apparently this isn't the first time that's happened.
* "Babes of the Abyss" and its hilarious BaitAndSwitch {{Unishment}}.
-->'''Demon Babe:''' I didn't realise it was punishment- I thought I was "giving back to the community"
-->'''Devil:''' Those are the same thing
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/neigh/ "Neigh".]] The lord seems to have a SustainedMisunderstanding about the difference between equestrianism and sex. The GilliganCut to the repeated BeatPanel is particularly dry.
-->'''Servant:''' Will that be all the riding for the day, sir?
* In the strip "Hardwood," a man selling crystal balls performs a sex act on a ChestMonster to prove to his skeptical customer that his product really can predict the future. The real joke is the end:
-->'''Customer:''' In the prophecy it was the big mahagony one.
-->'''Seller:''' ''(understandably pissed)'' Why would you not say that before I started?
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/brimstone-vinegar/ An absolute slob of a sorcerer]] summons a demon to [[DemonicPossession possess his body]]. When he wakes up, he finds his house spotless and his (very overdue) taxes filed.
-->'''Woman:''' Are demons even allowed to do that?
* "[[https://www.oglaf.com/insummary In Summary]]": A guy makes a speech defending himself at his trial by explaining that [[InsaneTrollLogic the only way society could trust and respect him]] is if he seduced, murdered and ate people. The jury cheers for him and carries him off on their shoulders... to a gallows.
-->'''Defendant:''' Aw.
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/easyvanilla/ An attempt at erotic cooking goes poorly.]]
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/eyeroll/ Eyeroll]] features a sword [[ShoutOut with the devil's eye]] [[Franchise/KingdomHearts set into the hilt]]. A brave adventurer happily buys the sword... and finds every possible excuse to make it ''[[NauseaFuel spin]]''. Cut to the devil's VomitIndiscretionShot.
-->'''Devil:''' [[DidntThinkThisThrough What the]] '''[[DidntThinkThisThrough fuck]]''' [[DidntThinkThisThrough was I thinking?]]
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/necking/ Necking]] involves a man condemned to be beheaded complaining about the incompetence of his executioner for [[LethalKlutz accidentally killing the wrong person]]. The executioner gets upset and demands to [[LetsSeeYouDoBetter see him try if he's so smart]], and then:
-->Wow it '''is''' harder than it looks
* [[https://www.oglaf.com/upcycling/ Upcycling]] has Sun Tzu trying to sell a sequel to ''Literature/TheArtOfWarSunTzu'', "Art of War 2: Crafts of War". Ideas include hanging plant pots made from human skulls and stuffed animals made out of the banners of defeated enemies and stuffed with their hair ("Mr. Soft Owl has seen some shit").
-->'''Emperor:''' Have you lost your mind?
-->'''Sun Tzu:''' I thought I had another book in me but I was wrooong.
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